Chapter 38 Confess, Grandmother, do you know when I recovered? ...
*
Ten years ago, on that freezing cold night, snow began to fall.
She was captivated by the delicate beauty of the first snow, and secretly slipped out of the house, away from her mother and the servants who attended to her. To avoid being seen, she wandered further and further away, trying to catch the swirling snowflakes as she went.
I don't know how far I walked, so far that there was no sound of human voices, and utter silence all around.
The silence frightened her. She started calling for help, but no one heard her. In a panic, she turned back, forgetting the way because she was too young, and wandered aimlessly to the vicinity of the Meditation Center.
Suddenly she saw something moving in the distance and screamed in fright.
Startled by her cry, the creature suddenly turned around.
Even though it was the darkest night, she could still see what the thing looked like. It was a child about her age, with disheveled hair, a pale face, and a pair of dark, hollow eyes.
Looks like a ghost!
She was so horrified that her eyes rolled back and she fainted.
The terror of that night overlaps with the astonishment of this moment. What else could a person who should be dead but is still alive be but a ghost?
She suddenly felt as if she were possessed by a ghost, uncontrollably cold and trembling. This time, however, her mother didn't hold her to comfort her; instead, she held the ghost.
"Mother, you raised me, don't you know what kind of person I am? Why don't you believe me?"
Shen Linlang wanted to believe her, but seeing is believing.
Thinking about what Yu Qingxue had done, and then thinking that she was Yu Qingxue's biological daughter, the trust and love she once had crumbled little by little, and then peeled away bit by bit, yet she wanted to pick them up again.
"Mother, it was my own fault for not standing properly, it's not Tang'er's fault."
"Ali, don't give her face!" Yu Jingliang said angrily, "That's just the kind of person she is. When we were little, she took advantage of her parents' love for her and wronged me a lot. She's just as annoying as her biological mother."
Yu Jingliang's words reminded Shen Linlang of many things from the past.
At that time, she considered Tang'er to be the youngest and weakest. Although she was less than two years younger than Erlang, Erlang was strong and robust from a young age. Whenever the two siblings fought, she would involuntarily side with her daughter.
Erlang was stubborn and never backed down, which angered her so much that she often resorted to physical violence. In particular, there was one time when she had scolded and hit him, but Erlang still wouldn't admit his mistake, which made her so angry that she threw him into the ancestral hall and made him kneel there all night.
Later, her elder brother came to visit and said that Erlang had good potential. Since she had no intention of taking care of him, why not send the child to the Shen family so that he could learn martial arts with his nephews?
She thought about it for two days and finally agreed.
Looking back now, that favoritism towards the adopted daughter was like arrows shot out, which bounced back years later, each one hitting the very center of the target.
Overwhelmed with remorse, she hardened her heart and said to Yu Liuzhu, "Go back."
The more love they once showed, the more pain they feel now, yet they still can't help but urge, "Take good care of your health in the future."
Yu Liuzhu could no longer stay and took her leave with tears of resentment in her eyes.
Yu Jingxian instinctively wanted to see her off, but Shen Linlang stopped him, "Dalang, aren't you going to Master Tang's place today?"
As the eldest son of the Yu family, Yu Jingxian was personally taught by Yu Zhiheng from a young age, from his first education to learning to read. When he was older, he was sent to school and after obtaining the title of Xiucai, a famous teacher was found for him. Now he is a disciple of Master Tang, who has retired and was once a Grand Academician of the Jixian Hall.
Master Tang was a strict man, especially towards his disciples.
"Mother, could you please...?"
Shen Qinglu interrupted him, saying, "Brother, Sister Tang'er was raised by Mother since she was a child. Mother can't abandon her, nor can she watch her suffer. But she is not Mother's daughter after all. If we interfere too much, what will her biological mother think? You must understand Mother's feelings."
He added, “You are the eldest son of the Yu family. Your father and mother have high hopes for you. I have heard people say that you are very learned and your future is sure to be bright. An official should be self-disciplined and introspective. If you damage your reputation because of some gossip in the inner quarters, wouldn’t that be giving others a handle to use against you? When you stand in the court in the future, you will inevitably be used against you.”
He suddenly felt a chill and remembered something Master Tang had mentioned. It was said that during the reign of the late emperor, there was a high-ranking official whose widowed cousin lived in his household. Some rumors spread, and someone submitted a memorial to the late emperor, who demoted the official two ranks and banished him to the outskirts of the capital.
“I… Tang’er is the younger sister…”
"Big brother, you must remember that your own sister is Ali, while Tang'er is your... cousin."
The moment the words "cousin" were uttered, Shen Linlang's heart skipped a beat.
She suppressed her sadness and urged her eldest son to go to school and her second son to take a job.
After her two sons left, she opened her mouth, wanting to say something to Shen Qinglu, but it seemed she couldn't bring herself to say it.
Shen Qinglu understood and said, "Mother, people are not plants or trees, how can they be without feelings? You have raised Sister Tang'er for so many years, how can the bond between mother and daughter be severed so easily? She must find it hard to accept this great change. If you are worried, you can go and see her. I will not blame you."
“Ali…” she couldn’t help but choke up, “You child, how can you be so sensible? Mother… Mother knows what she’s doing. Even if I’m worried about her, I will no longer treat her as my own daughter.”
"I believe in my mother."
Qiu Lu saw the mother and daughter, along with the people accompanying them, from afar. Her gaze, though subtle, fell on Xia Chan, mostly filled with jealousy and a hint of resentment.
She came recently, bringing news from Ruianju.
"Madam, Eldest Miss, the Old Madam has woken up."
*
After the fire, Ruian Residence underwent a complete transformation, both inside and out.
The landscaping in the courtyard was damaged; the rockery was missing a corner and the pine and stone had collapsed; the green grass was scattered everywhere; and the koi in the pond were nowhere to be seen.
The doors and windows of the main house were wide open, and the inside was a mess. The side rooms on the left and right were not greatly affected and were still habitable, with only traces of smoke remaining on the outer walls.
Madam Xie moved to the right wing, where she was accompanied by Granny Li and Yu Qingxue.
Both of them stayed up all night, neither of them leaving. Now they stood on either side of the bed, like opposite sides.
With a gloomy face, Yu Qingxue said to Granny Li, "You go out. I have something to say to Mother alone."
Granny Li remained motionless, and Madam Xie kept silent, only looking at her with a sorrowful gaze.
"Mother, aren't you being wary of me?" She suddenly realized something, her face filled with disbelief. "I'm your own daughter, why are you being wary of me?"
Heartbroken, Xie closed her eyes in grief. "Qingxue, I beg you, please stop. Let it end here."
What does "this is the end" mean?
Yu Qingxue wasn't stupid. She stayed by her bedside all night, and Granny Li stayed close by her side. In fact, the moment Yu Qingxue made a move, Granny Li became extremely vigilant.
Her eyes widened suddenly. "Mother, you don't suspect that I set the fire, do you?"
Granny Li lowered her head, and Madam Xie did not open her eyes either. The silence and attitude of the two women confirmed her guess, which was exactly what she wanted to hide.
"I didn't start the fire, how could I possibly harm my mother?"
Her denial chilled Xie's heart even more.
"I started the fire myself, and you should never mention it again." Madam Xie slowly opened her eyes, as if her eyelids weighed a ton, and her eyes were filled with disappointment.
These are my own flesh and blood.
As a child, he dared to burn his own brother's clothes, but as an adult, he is capable of committing murder and arson. What sins has he committed?
Thinking of this, she coughed violently.
Granny Li quickly poured her some water, fed her the water, and helped her calm down. "Madam, things have come to this, so don't get anxious or upset. Your health is the most important thing."
"My old bones don't need any more care; I'd rather die soon..."
Before the word "death" could be finished, the curtain was lifted.
She looked at the mother and daughter who came in, and something seemed off. They looked completely different, but now she could see an inexplicable resemblance between their eyebrows.
Shen Linlang ignored her and stared at Yu Qingxue with intense hatred.
"I'll ask you one more time, are you really unaware of what happened back then?"
Yu Qingxue naturally denied it, "Sister-in-law, I really don't know..."
"Smack!"
With this palm strike, Shen Linlang used almost all her strength.
Yu Qingxue's face immediately flushed red as she covered her face. "Sister-in-law, I really don't know anything. I didn't do anything. Why are you hitting and scolding me like this?"
"I want to see Du Juan!"
Upon hearing this, Yu Qingxue's heart skipped a beat, and she gave Qin's mother a meaningful look.
Qin's mother quickly replied, "Aunt, Dujuan fell into the water and was beaten. She died the night she was sent to the estate."
The person is dead, so what is there to ask? They were determined from the beginning that there would be no way to verify anything.
Whose estate is it?
Shen Qinglu, who hadn't spoken since entering, finally spoke, but the question was directed at Granny Yu.
Yu Mama's heart skipped a beat, and she quickly replied, "It is the Madam's estate. Later, when the eldest aunt got married, the Madam gave the estate to the eldest aunt as part of her dowry. It is now under the eldest aunt's name."
The conversation between the two awakened Shen Linlang. She laughed in anger, and her heroic face no longer showed her usual dignified and gentle demeanor, but instead showed the imposing manner of the eldest daughter of the General's Mansion.
"That's really great! It seems that all my good intentions in providing you with food and drink and giving you money have resulted in raising ungrateful wretches!"
Xie was so ashamed she wanted to die; she felt utterly humiliated.
An old saying goes, "Marry a daughter up high, marry a wife down low."
The Yu family married into a high-class family, and not just any high-class family.
They were just ordinary people, worlds apart from the general's family. When she was shocked to hear that her son was going to marry a girl from the general's family, she exclaimed that it was too much of a climb for him.
Fearing that her daughter-in-law from a prominent family might not like her as her mother-in-law, thus putting her son in an awkward position, she made up her mind not to mention the trip to Beijing at all.
To her surprise, Shen Linlang not only sent someone to pick her up, but also gave her a lot of face, showing no airs or pretension of a rich young lady, and taking her feelings into consideration in every way.
Everything from food and lodging to daily necessities was handled with utmost care and consideration, especially in the matter of Yu Qingxue's marriage. From choosing a family to the selection process, to the wedding banquet and dowry, everything was arranged perfectly.
At that time, she thought to herself, "How could I be worthy of having such a daughter-in-law?"
If there hadn't been a child swap...
The thought crossed her mind, and she couldn't suppress her regret and self-blame. She subconsciously looked at Shen Qinglu, but unexpectedly met Shen Qinglu's dark eyes, which were like a bottomless abyss. The bottom of the abyss seemed to be a mirror, reflecting the myriad aspects of human nature.
She was immediately alarmed, "Ah Li..."
“Grandmother, her things were all given to her by my mother, so they should be returned.”
Shen Qinglu's voice was soft and emotionless, as if she were an observer stating facts.
Even so, Xie wished she could disappear into the ground. "Qingxue, those things originally belonged to your sister-in-law. You should return them."
Yu Qingxue bit her lip, which turned white.
Mother is so foolish!
Those were her possessions; if she returned them, what would she do in the future?
“Mother, when I got married, so many people were watching and they all knew that the estate and shops belonged to me. If I return them, people will think that my family mistreated me, and it won’t sound good if word gets out.”
Shen Linlang now had no more scruples towards her sister-in-law, and raised her hand to slap her again, saying, "What do you mean by 'your things'? Those are my things. I can give them away, or I can take them back!"
From last night until now, Ms. Xie has witnessed her daughter being slapped repeatedly.
Perhaps it was the illusion that Shen Linlang had given her over the years that made her almost forget that her daughter-in-law came from a general's family, that her father was a General of the Cavalry, and that her brother was the Left General of the Divine Martial Camp.
Not only did he rely entirely on his daughter-in-law for everything he ate and used, but even the house he lived in was part of his daughter-in-law's dowry.
"Qingxue, quickly return the things to your sister-in-law!"
"Mother!" Yu Qingxue covered her face, her eyes filled with condemnation and accusation.
If a mother doesn't protect her daughter, does she even deserve to be called a mother?
Madam Xie practically begged her, "Qingxue, those things originally belonged to your sister-in-law, it's only right that you return them."
That's what they owe her!
She gritted her teeth in hatred, “I never said I wouldn’t return it… When the Su family had their troubles, my mother-in-law must have had some premonition. She told us daughters-in-law to entrust our valuables to her for safekeeping. I was in a hurry to get home and didn’t have time to ask her for them back. Over the years, I’ve written to her many times, but she always makes excuses and refuses to return them. Sometimes she says the things were taken by the people who ransacked the house, and other times she says they were lost. I have no choice.”
Shen Qinglu didn't know much about the current laws and regulations, so she subconsciously looked at Shen Linlang.
Shen Linlang said, "It's alright. No matter how it was lost, just find the middleman from back then, and you can come with me to the government office to get it replaced."
Yu Qingxue clearly hadn't expected this, and her expression showed obvious panic, which was understandable.
She had no exposure to these matters from a young age, and shortly after marrying into the Su family, an accident occurred, so she never had the chance to learn about the procedures for transferring, selling, and renewing contracts.
She looked at Xie with pleading eyes, trying to force Xie to help her.
Xie was heartbroken and chilled to the bone, so she simply closed her eyes.
This gave her an excuse: "Sister-in-law, Mother is still weak, and I really can't get away. How about we wait until Mother is better, and then I'll go to the government office with you to make up the difference?"
Shen Qinglu wouldn't allow her to refuse, "I can take care of my grandmother."
He then said to Shen Linlang, "She hasn't been out for a long time, and she might faint on the way due to exhaustion. It would be better to have a doctor accompany her, just in case."
"Ah Li is so thoughtful." Shen Linlang was reminded again, feeling both gratified and a little sad. She added, "I'll have someone prepare a separate soft palanquin so that she won't be unable to walk and can be carried."
As the mother and daughter sang in unison, their perfectly coordinated gazes met in the air.
In a daze, Shen Linlang seemed to return to her days in her maiden home, with her best friend. They understood each other perfectly, and often acted in perfect harmony without prior agreement.
Like right now.
The youthful exuberance she once had returned; she was no longer the dignified and reasonable wife of a civil official, nor a mother raising children, but the eldest daughter of a general's mansion.
In that instant, she realized that she seemed to have lost a lot of things.
Both Xie Shi and Yu Qingxue noticed that something was wrong with Shen Qinglu and looked at her at the same time.
"Mother, hurry back, I'll stay here."
Shen Linlang trusted her for no reason, but dared not let go too much. She let Bao Kui stay and whispered some instructions to her. Then, regardless of Yu Qingxue's surprise and doubt, she had her men take her away.
As soon as the person left, she said to Madam Xie, "Grandmother, I'm all better now."
Although she had a premonition and guesses, hearing her say it with her own ears still shocked Xie to no end. She felt a complex mix of shock and mixed feelings of joy and sorrow.
"Ah Li, come a little closer so Grandma can take a good look at you."
She approached the bedside and sat on the low stool beside it, seemingly still the same child who trusted and depended on others.
Madam Xie looked her over from left to right, scrutinizing her face, "God bless, God bless."
It's truly ironic that the phrase "God bless you" came from the mouth of the instigator.
She kept her eyelids half-closed, showing no reaction to Xie's agitation.
Xie quickly realized her mistake, and a look of gloom and embarrassment appeared on her face.
After a while, he said to everyone, "You all go out. I have something I want to say to Ali alone."
Bao Kui immediately replied, "Madam, before you left, you instructed me to follow your instructions in everything I do."
Then he asked Shen Qinglu, "Young lady, would you like us to leave?"
Shen Qinglu nodded.
She looked up the instant the door closed.
It was so black, yet it seemed extremely pale.
Madam Xie was somewhat alarmed. "Ali, it's all Grandma's fault. If you want to hate someone, hate Grandma. Grandma is sorry for you. You can hate me however you want."
Is it just hatred?
Shen Qinglu found it laughable. If that were true, they would benefit, but she would be the one who would suffer. Was she stupid?
Is this what Grandmother wanted to say?
The tone was very ordinary; although she was calling out to her grandmother, it sounded like she was talking to a stranger.
Judging from her words and expression, Madam Xie sensed that she had indeed recovered, and felt a pang of regret, thinking that if the child had recovered sooner, perhaps things wouldn't have turned out this way.
“Ali, you hate your grandmother, and your grandmother has endured it all. But your aunt knew nothing before, so don’t blame her. She’s suffered a lot, and these past years haven’t been easy for her. Please don’t make things difficult for her, considering that she returned everything and that she’s your aunt.”
Although the fire that started in the main house did not spread to the right wing, the thick smoke seeped in through every crack, leaving a layer of charred black.
The fire from last night seemed to reappear in Shen Qinglu's eyes.
"Grandmother, do you know when I recovered?"
"Weren't you better this morning?" Xie asked, but her heart suddenly started pounding.
She smiled, a cold smile that didn't reach her eyes. "Whether I can recover depends on when I reunite with my mother. I reunited with her yesterday, and I'm recovering this morning. If I had reunited with her the day before yesterday, then I would have recovered yesterday. Does Grandmother know why?"
Xie's frantic heartbeat suddenly stopped, and she gasped, "A-Li, what... what do you mean by this?"
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