Chapter 39 Their Dreams: Time Travel Meets Rebirth
*
The air still seemed to retain the scorching smell of the fire, which even the sandalwood incense that had burned all night could not mask.
Even if the cruel truth is wrapped in so-called family affection, it cannot hide the selfishness, greed, and desires of some people inside.
It took Xie Shi a long time to recover from the chill in her chest. Her eyes were trembling with disbelief and shock.
"You were already better?"
Shen Qinglu remained silent, watching her quietly. Her pupils, now free of the black mist, were like the finest black jade, having slumbered for countless years in the depths of a secluded valley. Now, seeing the light of day again, they were destined to shine brightly.
She got the answer from the silence, her breathing quickened, "When did you get better? Why didn't you tell Grandma?"
"If only one of us could live, who would Grandmother choose?"
"We're all family, why would we..."
"Does Grandmother even believe that herself? Has Grandmother forgotten that last night we almost perished in the fire?"
Xie was choked up and unable to speak; her face was visibly ashen.
It's all her fault, it's all her doing!
"Years ago, she fed me medicine, which made me mentally impaired. I regret it deeply, but not because I made her mentally impaired, but because I didn't kill her sooner. Last time, when Dujuan pushed me into the water, trying to kill me, it was also at her behest. If I hadn't recognized my biological mother and had recovered long ago, do you think I would still be alive today?"
"I...I don't know any of this."
"I already told you, you just didn't believe me."
Shen Qinglu couldn't help but sneer. She had given this so-called grandmother so many chances, but in the end, it was the grandmother who didn't speak up. It seemed that she wasn't the only one pretending to be stupid.
Xie could no longer see any trust or joy in her eyes, only disappointment and indifference. She couldn't help but clutch her chest, choking back tears.
"Ali, I'm sorry, it's all my fault. Your aunt was bewitched. I believe it was just a momentary lapse of judgment, and she will definitely come to her senses and make it up to you wholeheartedly in the future. Can you...can you forgive her?"
forgive?
She smirked, a sarcastic expression on her face.
What a loving mother's heart!
Even at this point, mothers still desperately protect their daughters, forgetting that others also have mothers and daughters. Why should they die silently?
"Grandmother, how can a dead person forgive others?"
Her icy tone and utterly indifferent expression left Xie utterly astonished, her chest heaving violently. "Ali, you..."
“When Du Juan pushed me into the water, I had already walked through the gates of hell. If I hadn’t found my way home, I would be a wandering ghost now. You want me to forgive her? Why don’t you make her pay with her life!”
Even though the room was just a study and a bedroom, the furnishings of the side room were enough to show the wealth and confidence of the host family. And all of this did not come from the Yu family; it was all paid for by Shen Linlang.
"You're a mother, and my mother is a mother too. You love your own daughter, but what about my mother?"
It's unreasonable to eat someone else's food and then smash their bowl!
"Ah Li..." Xie was so ashamed that she almost collapsed.
Shen Qinglu approached her, took her trembling hand, and spoke in a much gentler tone, filled with heartache and helplessness, “Grandmother has seen how my mother raised Tang’er all these years. If she had treated me even half as well as my mother treated her daughter, things wouldn’t have turned out this way.”
"Ah Li, if you want to hate someone, hate me. It's my fault. I was bewitched."
“Grandmother, I don’t want to hate you, but I can’t help but hate her. I don’t want her to pay for my life; I want justice for myself. Can you stand by me?”
Xie saw that same trust and reliance in her eyes again and instinctively tried to grasp it, "Can you really still tolerate her?"
"She's my father's sister, my blood aunt. What can I do to her?"
Unless this relationship is severed...
Xie was too confused to understand the deeper meaning in her words. She thought that Yu Qingxue was a kind and soft-hearted child who could tolerate her, so she immediately agreed.
"I knew it, you actually care about me." She sniffled, laughing and crying like a wronged child begging for candy from an elder. "Grandmother, could you give me Xia Chan's indenture first?"
Under such circumstances, she was merely asking for a maid's indenture, so how could Madam Xie possibly refuse? Without giving it much thought, she immediately began rummaging through a pile of things that had been moved from the main room.
Some of those items had been scorched by fire, leaving burn marks, but most were still intact.
She found a locked box, took out a key, and opened it. Inside, besides some paper items, there were some gold and silver.
All the servants of Ruianju, except for the menial laborers, had their contracts with her, which was a sign of Shen Linlang's respect for her mother-in-law as a daughter-in-law.
She searched through the pages and quickly found Xia Chan's picture.
Shen Qinglu examined it carefully and, after confirming that it was indeed Xia Chan's contract, put it away.
Looking up, he saw Xie looking at him with a complicated expression, as if she wanted to say something but hesitated.
"Grandmother, are you asking if I told Mother about what I just said?"
When Xie's thoughts were exposed, she felt ashamed, but also amazed by her quick wit and intelligence. She was both relieved and regretful.
"Did you say so?"
"Grandmother, don't worry, I haven't told my mother. My mother is the legitimate daughter of the General's Mansion. I heard that my maternal grandfather and uncle dote on her. If they find out the truth, they won't let you, my aunt, or even my father get away with it."
Ms. Xie was greatly alarmed, not only because what she said was true, but also because of the tone of her voice.
"Ali, you absolutely must not let them know, or this family will be ruined."
"Grandmother, don't worry. Don't tell her about this. I won't do anything to her because of you."
These words sounded like she was being valued, but Xie felt something was off. Upon closer inspection, however, she couldn't discern anything amiss in Shen Qinglu's eyes and expression.
Shen Qinglu remained extremely calm as she allowed the woman to examine her.
The atmosphere quieted down for a moment, with only the faint scent of sandalwood lingering in the air.
Bao Kui's voice came from outside, "Why is there no sound? I want to go in and check!"
Granny Li stopped her, "Miss Baokui, we cannot go in unless the masters summon us."
"The madam instructed before she left that if anything goes wrong, the safety of the eldest young lady should be the priority." She raised her chin and looked sharply at Granny Li. "Get out of my way!"
In the past, when Xie Shi and Shen Linlang had a harmonious relationship, she treated Li Mama with great respect. But now, she shows little respect not only to Li Mama but also to Xie Shi.
"If you don't move aside, what if the old lady does something to the eldest daughter? Can you take responsibility?"
While they were arguing, Xia Chan did not step forward.
Qiu Lu sighed, "Speaking of which, you are the one who should be by the eldest young lady's side, but Madam always entrusts everything to Bao Kui. Where does that leave you?"
“The lady has her reasons for doing this. We servants just follow our masters’ orders. We don’t have so many thoughts or ideas of our own,” Xia Chan said casually.
Qiu Lu thought she was just being stubborn and said, "You are the person that the old lady gave to the eldest young lady. Even if the eldest young lady is still willing to use you, I'm afraid the madam will not agree. You might as well come back as soon as possible to avoid embarrassment later."
She shook her head and said, "The old lady gave me to the eldest daughter, so I belong to the eldest daughter. I won't leave unless the eldest daughter kicks me out."
"Why are you doing this to yourself?" Qiu Lu sighed again. "When that time comes, people will laugh at you. If you come back yourself, everyone will be more at ease, won't that be better?"
"Qiu Lu, how many years have we known each other?" she suddenly asked.
Qiu Lu paused for a moment, "It's been ten years, hasn't it?"
"Ten years have passed." She seemed quite emotional. "I've only just realized that we still don't understand each other."
What do you mean by that?
She didn't answer, but smiled.
Granny Li remained unyielding, refusing to let Bao Kui in. "Miss Bao Kui, how can you speak to the old lady like that?"
"She's capable of doing something like that, I..."
"Come in, everyone!"
Shen Qinglu's voice came from inside.
Bao Kui rolled her eyes at Granny Li, then pushed past her and went in first, standing behind Shen Qinglu. She asked with concern, "Young Miss, are you alright?"
She shook her head to indicate that she was fine, and nodded slightly to Xia Chan who came in later.
Xia Chan understood perfectly and stood silently to the side, not trying to steal the spotlight from Bao Kui.
When Qiu Lu saw this, she looked at her with what seemed like sympathy, but when she lowered her head, there was a hint of pleasure in her eyes.
*
Separated by a river, it feels as if mountains and seas separate us.
Yu Liuzhu gazed at Liufang Xiaozhu across the water, unsure whether it was nostalgia or resentment.
Behind her was her maid, Dengzhi.
Like Xique, Dengzhi was a maid who had been with her since childhood. Because of her favor, the status of the people around her was superior to that of the other servants in the mansion. Their clothes, attire, and demeanor were even more respectable than those of girls from humble families.
In the past, when standing behind her like this, Dengzhi would hold her head higher than others, exuding pride and confidence from the bottom of her bones.
Now, wherever they go, everyone avoids them, pointing and whispering like stray dogs.
After an unknown amount of time, someone approached them.
Dengzhi looked over in a panic and immediately saw Yu Qingxue with red marks on both cheeks.
Yu Qingxue approached, her face filled with sorrow, stumbling along, "Tang'er..."
This is the first time the real mother and daughter have met since the incident last night.
Yu Liuzhu's gaze towards her no longer held the sudden intimacy of before; instead, it was filled with undisguised coldness, rejection, and even disgust.
She instinctively covered her face. "Tang'er, why are you looking at me like that?"
Yu Liuzhu waved her hand, signaling Dengzhi and Qin's mother to stay away.
Once they were far enough away that he could hear their conversation, he asked cryptically, "Did you really know nothing about what happened back then?"
"I... of course I didn't know, it was all your grandmother's doing."
"So, you're really being nice to me because you want me to take care of Ali in the future?"
"I……"
"There are no outsiders here, so you shouldn't hide anything from me."
Yu Qingxue's heart skipped a beat, then she steeled herself and said, "Tang'er, everything I've done is for you."
"For me?" Yu Liuzhu repeated these words. The emotion she felt for her aunt who came to see her alone before her rebirth had all turned into something pathetic and laughable.
She now understood the disdainful attitude the servants had shown when they led people to her courtyard. It wasn't that they disliked the uninvited guests, but rather that they despised the two of them.
Why wasn't she a real girl from the Yu family? Why was she born into this aunt's womb, and why did she live two lifetimes that were nothing but jokes?
"Everything you've done is useless. What have you actually done for me?"
"It's all your grandmother's fault. She clearly promised me that she would switch you back once your marriage with Prince Mu was settled. But not only did she fail to do so, she also brought up what happened back then."
"You rely on your grandmother for everything, how can you possibly succeed?"
"That's not how it is. I have a plan too. I've thought it all out. I will never let that wretched child become an obstacle for you. Once she dies, even if your grandmother tells the truth, you will still be the only girl in the Yu family. They will definitely keep it a secret for you."
"Won't!"
Yu Liuzhu took a few steps forward and reached the water's edge.
That obscure expression and complex look in his eyes startled Yu Qingxue. "Tang'er, what do you mean you can't?"
“I said, even if Ali dies, they won’t care about me.”
"How could they not? They raised you..." Yu Qingxue wanted to argue, but when she suddenly met the look in her eyes, she felt something was off.
That wicked creature is so evil, Tang'er just...
"Tang'er, you..."
"I said no, and I mean no." Yu Liuzhu's tone was cold, with a hint of impatience.
"Are you afraid that now that you've switched back, you can no longer marry into the Marquis's mansion? Tang'er, don't be afraid. You were born to be a noble person and you will definitely become someone of high status. Even if it costs me my life, I will help you."
"How can you help me?" What she mistakenly thought was a good deed in her past life turned out to be the reason for her even greater embarrassment in this life. She felt no gratitude whatsoever, only intense disgust. "All your things have been taken away. You're barely able to take care of yourself. How can you possibly help me? It's good enough if you don't become a burden to me."
Yu Qingxue's face turned even redder, a mixture of shame, embarrassment, and resentment.
After they completed the deed at the yamen, Shen Linlang immediately sent people to seal the shop and take over the estate, saying that when she was given the things back then, the shop was fully stocked and the estate was about to be harvested, so she was not given any chance to deal with those things.
Fortunately, she had been living and eating at the Yu family's house all these years, and had saved up all the harvest from the estate and the profits from the shops.
"Tang'er, I've saved up quite a bit of money over the years, nearly a thousand taels of silver. I won't be a burden to you."
The impatience in Yu Liuzhu's eyes deepened.
That mother is really stupid!
What use is that little bit of silver?
When she got married in her previous life, her dowry was incredibly generous, it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say it was a ten-mile-long procession of red bridal procession. What was a mere thousand taels of silver? In the Marquis's mansion, it wouldn't even be enough to buy an antique in her great-grandmother's room.
The thought of Shen Qinglu's gaze upon her was more unbearable than any contemptuous look she had ever received in both her previous lives; it sent chills down her spine and made her feel a sense of dread.
Suddenly that feeling returned, and she subconsciously looked across at the other side.
A person was standing by the waterside pavilion at some unknown time.
It was Shen Qinglu.
Shen Qinglu stood by the water, her gaze distant and cold, her stunning features displayed wildly in the sunlight, looking at them with a half-smile.
Yu Qingxue was startled. "She... she looks a little different?"
Yu Liuzhu found her increasingly stupid. "Didn't you realize? She's already better."
"She's better? How is that possible? How could she possibly be better?"
People who are drugged and become mentally impaired will never recover!
"I also really want to know, why is she still alive? Why is she alright?"
Only Yu Liuzhu herself knew the meaning behind her words.
Why is someone who shouldn't exist still here, and why did they go from being a fool to a normal person?
Or perhaps he's not a normal person!
Her pupils contracted sharply, then changed, because she saw Shen Linlang.
Shen Linlang held a cloak in her hand and personally draped it over Shen Qinglu. She had clearly seen the person opposite her, but tried her best to pretend not to see her. "It's cold by the water. Be careful not to catch a cold."
This scene has happened before, but now it's played by different people.
Shen Qinglu pulled her cloak tighter and took two steps forward.
Shen Linlang was suddenly startled and grabbed her arm. "Ali, have you forgotten what your mother told you? Don't get too close to the water, and don't come to the water's edge alone."
"Is Mother worried that the tragedy of Dujuan will repeat itself?"
Shen Qinglu thought that this was probably the only reason.
Shen Linlang subconsciously looked at the person opposite her. Perhaps it was because they were far apart, or perhaps it was because she had stepped outside the natural alliance between mother and daughter, but she inexplicably felt that she did not quite recognize the child she had raised since childhood. Although he still had the same facial features, he seemed like a stranger.
And that dream...
“Ah Li, Tang’er had a dream a few days ago.”
"What dream?" A thought flashed through Shen Qinglu's mind, and she immediately seized it. "Mother, could you tell me about it?"
Shen Linlang nodded and recounted the story.
"Although it was just a dream, I felt uneasy. I always felt it was a premonition, especially when she said that she was neglected not long after she married into the family and had a very difficult time. I didn't go to see her, and only Qingxue went to see her alone. That made it feel more real. I secretly wondered if it was possible that it was because I already knew that she was not my biological daughter, so I didn't go to see her."
"Does she dream of me?" Shen Qinglu asked.
Shen Linlang hesitated for a moment, "She said you... are gone, that you drowned. I feel an indescribable unease whenever I think about it. Ali, promise your mother that you will stay away from the water from now on, okay?"
So that's how it is.
No wonder she gave me those instructions before.
Shen Qinglu lowered her eyes, which were reflected in the water. The pond was calm and still at this moment, and no one would know that a few days ago, someone had died in this water, on the same day as their birth, the day of the Awakening of Insects.
Born on the same day, on the same day, it's as if the sixteen years in between were all nothing.
"Mother, do you remember what I used to look like?"
Shen Linlang was taken aback, thinking that she was reminiscing about the hardships of the past, and said, "Mother... I am really ashamed. I haven't visited you much these years. Once, I ran into you when you ran away from Jingxin Courtyard. I gave you two pastries, and you followed me. I even had someone forcibly send you back. Ali... I hate myself when I think about these things..."
"Do you remember what I looked like back then?"
"She has big, dark eyes and looks rather naive, but despite that, you can tell she's got the makings of a beauty."
Shen Qinglu reached out and hugged her.
“Mother, I am different from before. The past is the past, and the present is the present. You can't just remember what I look like now, you also have to remember what I looked like before.”
She didn't understand the deeper meaning behind Shen Qinglu's words, but she still agreed.
Yu Liuzhu couldn't hear what they were saying, but as she watched them hug each other so intimately, the resentment in her eyes seemed to grow into vines.
"Tang'er, stop looking, let's go," Yu Qingxue whispered to her.
She stubbornly insisted, "You go your way."
So what if she's my own mother?
He's just an idiot.
Suddenly a cool breeze swept across the water, breaking the mirror-like calm and creating ripples, just like the way Shen Qinglu looked at her.
She tried her best to control her inner turmoil, thinking to herself that she had lived two lives, so what was there to fear?
Their eyes met, and they retreated while I advanced, and I advanced while you retreated.
Shen Qinglu couldn't help but have a strange feeling, as if she were competing with someone wearing a mask that looked somewhat similar to her own, which was absurd and eerie.
Past lives and present lives, for a moment I couldn't tell which was real and which was a dream.
She has dreams, and so do others, or perhaps what Yu Liuzhu calls dreams are not dreams at all.
It is rebirth!
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