Chapter 50 She even rolled over inside, as if she were...
*
The area where the carriage passed through the dance halls and gambling dens was noticeably more lively.
The sounds of music, laughter from men and women, and conversations from passersby blended together, and one could imagine how lively and noisy it was even without lifting the carriage curtain to look.
Amidst the commotion, the woman's shrill voice stood out: "If you dare gamble with me again, believe me, I'll chop your hand off!"
"How can you be so unreasonable, woman? You even dare to chop off a man's hand! You've really gone too far!" A passerby, unable to bear it any longer, accused the woman of disrespecting her man by pulling his ear in the street and uttering such uncivilized words.
The woman retorted, "How is it that I'm disciplining my own man and going against the grain?"
"Where did this rule come from, that a woman is disciplining a man?" someone criticized her again.
She shouted, "Why can't women discipline men? If you really have the guts, do you dare to say these words to Commander Mu's face?"
For a moment, no one responded.
The carriages passed by them, leaving the hustle and bustle behind.
Shen Linlang looked proud. "If Miaohua knew that she had become a source of confidence for some women, she would be very happy."
Soon, as if thinking of something, a faint sense of loss appeared between his brows.
Perhaps it was because her best friend didn't like her biological daughter, or perhaps it was because of some people's words that provoked her, or more likely it was because she remembered her childhood dreams.
Thinking this to herself, Shen Qinglu held her hand and said, "Mother, Commander Mu looks so dashing on horseback. You should be able to ride one too, right?"
“Of course!” Shen Linlang’s spirits lifted, and there was a hint of pride in her tone. “I was raised on horseback by your maternal grandfather. I had my own pony when I was three years old, and by the time I was six or seven, I could ride a big horse.”
"Mom, you're amazing! You must look so dashing riding a horse." Shen Qinglu praised sincerely. "I want to learn, can you teach me?"
Shen Linlang had no reason not to agree and became interested as well.
Upon returning to the Yu residence, he immediately had a horse brought over. It first circled the open space a few times, then rode around the garden amidst Shen Qinglu's repeated praises, and finally ran around the entire Yu residence.
The wind blew her clothes, and she suddenly felt a long-lost sense of freedom.
When she returned to Shen Qinglu's side, Shen Qinglu said to her, "Mother, you look so beautiful riding a horse. I think this is the real you."
She paused slightly, her expression a mixture of sorrow and joy.
Over the years, she devoted herself to her husband and children, learning from the dignified and virtuous matriarchs of the inner quarters, and poured most of her energy into her frail youngest daughter.
To take care of Yu Liuzhu, she repeatedly refused Mu Miaohua's invitations to go hunting outside the capital, to the point that Mu Miaohua eventually stopped mentioning it. Despite her own youthful dislike of raising Yu Liuzhu, she became a frequent guest at many banquets in the capital.
Who would have thought that all her efforts would come to nothing, or even be a huge joke, leaving her with no way to express her regret, her heart torn to pieces.
Shen Qinglu asked her, "Mother, are you so happy?"
She thought for a moment and replied, "Happy."
Yu Zhiheng saw her from afar, riding on her horse, leaning over and talking to her daughter below.
His heroic and imposing manner was unforgettable.
Shen Qinglu caught a glimpse of him out of the corner of her eye, subtly stroked the horse's rump, and then patted it.
The horse immediately spurred itself on and galloped straight toward him. Shen Linlang, on horseback, showed almost no panic, and as she held the reins, she saw him.
This scene was very similar to their first meeting. He seemed to appear suddenly, and Shen Linlang, just like that time, reined in her horse when she was only a step away from him.
He was startled, his face changing drastically. "Linlang, what are you doing? Riding a horse in the inner quarters, what kind of behavior is this!"
It was clearly the same person, the same scene, but they were saying completely different things.
Shen Linlang remembered that after his initial shock, he comforted her, saying, "Miss, don't worry, I'm fine."
Instead, all I get is a reprimand—what kind of behavior is this!
"I'm in my own home, so what if I ride a horse? How is that improper?" Shen Linlang's pride was stirred up. She turned the horse around, squeezed its legs together, and rode away in an instant.
Yu Zhiheng's chest heaved, whether from anger or a fierce internal struggle, it was hard to tell. His usually refined face seemed to have lost its former elegance.
When his expression turned somber, someone approached him.
“Father, please don’t blame Mother. She’s in a bad mood today.” Shen Qinglu said sadly. “Mother and I went out today and happened to run into Madam Jiang. Madam Jiang scolded Mother, saying that she married the wrong person. Even though she comes from a high-ranking family, she can’t even protect her own daughter. It’s such a pity.”
His breathing changed, becoming noticeably heavier, and his tightly pursed lips revealed his extreme discomfort.
“Your mother is different from those people; she rarely pays attention to such gossip.”
So he knew that Shen Linlang was different.
Shen Qinglu felt a chill in her teeth, but her expression remained unchanged.
"Later we met Commander Mu. Commander Mu was very imposing. I heard from my mother that they were good friends and had made a pact to become Divine Martial Guards together when they were young. Now she was so proud, while my mother was being ridiculed. She must have been very envious and regretful. She didn't say much along the way."
"Father, don't blame Mother. She was just feeling wronged. She wanted to ride a horse around the manor to clear her head, but you said it was improper. It's no wonder she got angry." After she finished speaking, she sighed, as if she had no idea that her words were full of hidden barbs.
She seemed oblivious to Yu Zhiheng's increasingly grim face, and continued, "I know Father must be in a bad mood today, otherwise he wouldn't have said such things. There are many people out there, and it's inevitable that there will be some unpleasant rumors. Father will hear some of them, how could he not be affected?"
Yu Zhiheng's discomfort was amplified by her words, adding to his already complicated emotions.
Over the past two days, there has been countless gossip, both overt and covert. While we can pretend not to hear those behind people's backs, some people deliberately say things like "congratulations" in public, which are actually all mockery.
Everyone knows that his mother is confused and that his biological daughter has been mentally challenged for more than ten years. Even if the mother confesses and the flesh and blood recognize each other, it is all absurd and shameful. What joy is there in that?
"It's hard for you to understand your father's perspective."
"I finally got to know you and Mother again, and I just hope our family can be well. Father, don't worry, I will try my best to persuade Mother. Don't forget to visit Grandmother. She has unspeakable grievances in her heart, and I imagine she is suffering a lot. It's a pity that her loving motherly heart cannot earn her even a little bit of consideration from her daughter. Because of her daughter, even you, Father, are in a difficult position."
Having said what needed to be said and given her a way out, Yu Zhiheng praised her for being sensible and headed towards the Tranquil Courtyard.
The sound of horses' hooves could be heard in the distance, each hoofbeat more urgent than the last.
"Miss, aren't you going to comfort the lady?" Xia Chan asked her, puzzled.
She looked in that direction and could vaguely see the person on horseback. Even from a distance, she could feel the rider's skill and ease.
"My mother has devoted herself to her husband and children all these years, and perhaps she herself has almost forgotten what kind of person she originally was."
"This is the first time I've ever seen Madam riding a horse."
"Cicada, do you know what makes someone hide their true nature and present themselves in a way that others like?"
Xia Chan shook her head and looked at her.
A mocking glint appeared in her eyes as she said, "Firstly, it's to save my life; secondly, it's out of my own free will."
If you're unwilling, you'll naturally be reluctant.
And what about her?
At first, wearing a mask was for survival, but later it must have been out of choice.
*
The side rooms next to the main building of Jingxin Courtyard were originally empty.
As soon as Xie moved in, she moved directly into the right wing room.
Logically, Yu Qingxue, being a daughter, should have vacated the main room and moved to the side room herself. However, she used the excuse of her facial injury to stay indoors. Only after Madam Xie had settled in did she pretend to come out and feign tears.
Yu Liuzhu, however, did not even reveal his face.
This courtyard is now home to three generations, each generation separated by distance.
Yu Zhiheng had rarely been here before, and as soon as he entered, he felt an indescribable sense of oppression, which seemed to reflect his current state of mind.
When he saw that Xie was living in the side room and learned that Yu Qingxue had not moved to the main room, he was furious, as if all his anger had found an outlet, and he kicked the door open.
Yu Qingxue was pondering whether or not she should go see him when the door was suddenly kicked open. A gust of cold wind rushed in, and she was met with his gloomy face. Her heart tightened immediately.
"Brother, what's wrong with you? Are you trying to make me miserable enough by helping those people humiliate me?"
"Qingxue, you are unfilial! As the eldest daughter, she should live in the main room. How can you let her live in the side room next to you?"
"I'm injured like this, and Mother can't bear to see me suffer like this. How dare you say I'm unfilial? If I weren't so filial, I wouldn't have obediently listened to you and married into the Su family back then!"
When Xie arrived, the first thing she heard was this sentence that pierced her heart the most.
Over the years, whenever the topic of switching the two children back came up, Yu Qingxue would always use it to shut her up. She felt guilty for letting her daughter down and had compromised time and time again.
"Heng'er, stop talking. I wanted to stay in the side room myself. It has nothing to do with Qingxue."
“Mother, you always protect her like this, covering for her and keeping secrets for her. The new clothes you made for me that year, it was clearly because she threw them into the fire pit and burned a corner of them, but you insisted that it was because you were distracted while drying them.”
Yu Zhiheng's voice lowered, "I know about the child swap, and you're protecting her too. Mother, do you know how much you've hurt your son this time!"
"Heng'er!"
"Mother, I've studied hard for over a decade and gotten to where I am today step by step. Did you think it was easy for me? Everyone says I rely on the Shen family, but I know for myself that I got to where I am today because of myself!"
Xie clutched her chest, tears streaming down her face.
Yu Qingxue whispered, "Big brother really shouldn't have married her. If he had married Miss Fang back then..."
"Shut up!" Madam Xie's face changed drastically. Although she was still crying, her expression was stern. "Are you saying things aren't chaotic enough? Are you saying your elder brother isn't being made things difficult enough?"
Yu Zhiheng's expression changed immediately, but fortunately, only he and his mother were in the house.
But the saying "walls have ears" is true, and it's only when someone is really looking for an opportunity to listen that you need to be careful.
That evening, their conversation reached Shen Qinglu's ears in its entirety.
“Young lady, something doesn’t sound right to me. That Miss Fang… I’m afraid it’s not quite right, so I came to tell you right away.”
Qiu Lu's words were veiled, but the meaning was self-evident.
When she entered, Shen Qinglu had already asked Xia Chan to leave. With no third person present, it was easier to say certain things.
She had been to this side room in the main courtyard before, mostly to deliver a message or a gift, but never before had she been left alone like today.
Some thoughts remain, and even with changes in personnel, the goal remains.
She spoke respectfully, not forgetting to flatter and fawn, "This servant remembers the young lady's instructions and dares not delay in the slightest. I think it would be such a blessing if I could share the young lady's burdens."
"You did a good job, I know." Shen Qinglu's heart was cold, but her words were warm. "Don't worry, I remember what you did, and I will never let you suffer in the future."
"Thank you very much, young lady. I am already very satisfied to be able to serve you."
When she left, she was indeed satisfied. As she passed Xia Chan, who was waiting outside the door, she gave a slight smile, seemingly as a greeting, but in reality, it was not without a hint of comparison.
Xia Chan smiled back, just as she had when they both worked at Ruianju.
*
When the moon is hidden behind the clouds, all is quiet.
A faint, calming fragrance drifted through every corner of the room, while the night candles, like fireflies, watched over the darkness, serving as a beacon for those who traveled at night.
A cool breeze suddenly entered her room, instantly waking Shen Qinglu, who was just beginning to feel sleepy. As the pleasant scent of fresh bamboo silently wafted in, she slowly opened her eyes.
There was one more person in the room.
Dressed in black and with black hair, he arrived silently, like a wisp of smoke, or rather, black smoke.
As if she hadn't seen anyone, she slipped on her shoes, got out of bed, lifted the beaded curtain, went to the outer room, and called out Xia Chan's name.
Xia Chan seemed to be sleeping very soundly, and no matter how much she called or shook her, she did not wake up. She checked her breath; it was warm and even, and she secretly breathed a sigh of relief.
"Lord Mu's quirks are truly unacceptable. Remember not to use them next time. This girl is my confidante; I'm not afraid for her to know my affairs."
"Do you hope there will be a next time?"
Is this the key point?
She turned around irritably, "I don't want this to happen again. Will you listen to me?"
Why should I listen to you?
That's not it!
She lifted the beaded curtain and returned to the inner room, unafraid of Mu Hanshi's staring gaze. She took off her shoes, got into bed, lay back down in the covers, and closed her eyes as if no one else was there.
Her brightly colored face was beautiful and serene, like a sleeping elf.
On Mu Hanshi's indifferent, icy face, a crack seemed to appear, beneath which a life seemed to be restlessly stirring, wanting to squeeze out from that crack.
"I did save your brother, how dare you treat me with such indifference?"
"Who saw it? Do you have any proof?" She seemed to be talking in her sleep, and even turned over inside, as if she was sulking with Mu Hanshi.
Whether it was her imagination or not, she seemed to hear a very low chuckle.
"Trying to back out?"
"Why are you so strange?" Because she was facing away from everyone, she seemed to be talking to herself. "Before, you wanted to protect Yu Liuzhu and inexplicably came to bribe me. Now you want to take advantage of my kindness and come to me instead of my second brother. I don't understand why you always come to me for everything?"
She naturally didn't see the sudden ripples in Mu Hanshi's eyes after she finished asking the question.
Just then, footsteps came from outside, probably heading towards the side room. She could also vaguely hear Shen Linlang's voice. She suddenly opened her eyes, but there was no one there.
She rubbed her eyes, afraid she was seeing things. Some people were indeed gone, except for the still-sleeping cicadas and the silent candlelight.
The door was gently pushed open from the outside, and Shen Linlang and Granny Yu tiptoed in and quickly entered the inner room.
Shen Qinglu quickly lay down, pretending to be fast asleep, secretly thinking how lucky it was that Mu Laojiu was like a ghost, appearing and disappearing without a trace...
wrong!
She took a deep breath and smelled an even stronger scent of fresh bamboo.
"Madam, look, the eldest young lady sleeps so well, she wouldn't kick off the covers." Granny Yu said in a low voice, her tone slightly teasing. Even so, Shen Linlang still sat on the edge of the bed and tucked the covers in, making sure to cover every part of her body from head to toe.
She was very skilled at this action, clearly having done it many times before.
"For sixteen years, I have been taking good care of someone else's daughter, while my daughter is suffering. I feel so sad whenever I think about it, and I wish I could give her all the good things in the world."
As she spoke, she reached out and stroked Shen Qinglu's face.
Even before the bamboo grove air had dissipated, Shen Qinglu was certain that some people were still there.
After much deliberation, she slowly opened her eyes, muttering as if waking from a dream, "Mother, why aren't you asleep yet?"
"Did I wake you up?" Shen Linlang quickly wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes and said gently, "I just couldn't sleep, so I came to see you."
"It's so good to have a mother." She snuggled closer, feeling as if the fragrance of bamboo had faded slightly.
Could the person be right behind the bed?
Shen Linlang enjoyed her intimacy and stroked her hair. "Ali, tell your mother what you want. As long as you want it, your mother will try her best to get it for you."
"Mother, I don't want much. I eat well, dress well, and I have you and my second brother. I'm not greedy."
She has never been a greedy person; in both her past and present lives, she has only ever strived to survive.
"How can you be so sensible, my child? It breaks my heart." Shen Linlang's eyes reddened again. Suddenly remembering something, she said, "Last time you said you wouldn't marry Alin, you must not want to make things difficult for your mother. I can see that you treat Alin differently. This marriage was originally meant for you, if it weren't for Tang'er's dream..."
“Mother!” Shen Qinglu’s heart skipped a beat. “Everything I said today is true. I have no romantic feelings for Prince Mu. I really only regard him as my second brother’s friend, like my own brother. I have no intention of getting married. I just want to stay with you, Mother.”
Fearing that Shen Linlang might say something else, she pretended to be extremely sleepy and yawned, "Mother, I'm so sleepy. Can we talk about it tomorrow?"
Shen Linlang naturally complied, quickly made her go to sleep, and then left with Granny Yu.
The sound of the door closing came first, followed by the sound of their footsteps heading towards the main room.
After a while, she felt someone staring at her. She opened her eyes with a blank face and a slightly empty gaze, glancing at the person who was still there without any emotion.
This is truly a persistent ghost!
She had already stopped the conversation, but given how much Mu Lao Jiu cared about Yu Liu Zhu, he would definitely have overheard and ask about it. Should she tell him or not?
Just as he was pondering this, Mu Hanshi arrived at the bedside.
The shadow of the human figure fell, like a giant net, completely enveloping her. The person with their hands behind their back and eyes lowered resembled a night owl hunting for food, precisely watching their prey, leaving no escape.
In such a dangerous and eerie atmosphere, she couldn't stay lying down any longer and had to sit up, wrapped in the blanket. But as soon as she sat up, the distance between them became even closer, so close that when she looked up, she immediately met his deep, abyss-like eyes.
The still, deep pool suddenly burst into a spray of water, creating a breathtakingly beautiful scene.
At the same time, Piaoxue's voice fell into her ear, extremely faint and soft, "You really have no romantic feelings for Alin?"
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