Becoming Meng Po
"Congratulations to the new Lady Meng Po on taking power."
Upon hearing this, the PR staff inside bowed and congratulated Gu Lili in unison, and the PR staff who had just been supporting her also quickly bowed respectfully.
Have you seen enough?
Seeing that Gu Lili did not react, the man in the suit turned around to look at her, only to meet her drooling gaze. He was momentarily annoyed. In all the millions of years he had ruled the underworld, this was the first time someone had looked at him as if he were food.
"Lady Meng Po, Lord Guan Nan is speaking to you," the public relations officer reminded her.
Gu Lili raised her left hand and pointed at herself with her index finger: "Wait... me... Meng Po? What? Making soup? The new Meng Po? Living in the underworld forever??? Isn't that even worse than being a roadside weed, living in darkness for eternity, repeating the same life every day??"
"Lord Guan Nan, Lady Meng Po's boiled fish is ready." The PR person from Guan Nan Palace reported at the entrance of the reception hall.
"Okay, bring it to the restaurant, we'll be right there." Guan Nan replied in a low voice, his face revealing neither joy nor anger.
Gu Lili thought to herself, "What? They actually know about the boiled fish I've been longing for? Is this a coincidence, or are these high-ranking officials truly omniscient?" Before she could even come up with an excuse to refuse inheriting Meng Po's mantle, the other party directly unleashed a trump card aimed at her heart. This pressure from the leader didn't even ask for her opinion; it was clearly the domineering attitude of a "I don't care what you think, I care what I think" CEO.
"Lady Meng Po, please. The restaurant is upstairs, just follow me." The public relations representative, who had been waiting for a while, stepped forward quickly and said with a smile.
Actually, there was no need for directions; Gu Lili could find the restaurant simply by following the aroma.
Upon entering the restaurant, in addition to boiled fish, there were also brown sugar glutinous rice cakes and spicy chicken on the table. When the public relations staff saw that the new Meng Po had arrived, they hurriedly served her a Coke with a straw. This kind of treatment was something she had never enjoyed even in the human world.
In the steaming porcelain bowl, simmering with hot oil and wafting with the aroma of pepper, tender fish and crisp bean sprouts intertwined, as if under a spell, compelling Gu Lili to reach out with her chopsticks.
"It smells so good."
Gu Lili couldn't help but exclaim in admiration. No matter what, let's eat our fill first.
"Lady Meng Po, I am Fangfangfang, a clerical public relations officer from the Reincarnation Office. While you eat, I will read the documents to you. After you finish eating, just sign them. It's similar to your employment contract in the human world, and the employment nature is equivalent to a government employee in the real world, commonly known as a 'golden rice bowl'."
Gu Lili's mouth was full of food, and she could only nod vigorously in response.
Meng Po's duties:
They brew the Meng Po soup to maintain order in front of the Meng Po Bridge.
treatment:
You can participate in team building activities, take annual leave, dress freely, earn an annual salary of 300,000 points, be provided with an assistant, and have the right to dispatch Huang Quan PR.
Fangfangfang was also shocked after reading the contract. She looked at Guannan in disbelief. This was the contract he had just drafted. In the millions of years that Fangfangfang had worked in the Reincarnation Office, she had watched as the former Meng Po never took a vacation or participated in any team building activities in the underworld. Every time, Meng Po would complain and envy the public relations and leaders who could go on team building activities, while she could only boil soup in the Yellow Springs. There were always some souls who would lament their lives and curse their enemies before drinking the soup, which caused her to get off work much later than her colleagues.
Let's talk about the freedom of dress. For thousands of years, the former Meng Po wore the same old clothes for the convenience of making soup. Because she had never left the underworld, she gradually became sloppy and didn't like to dress up. She often envied the clothes of the living souls, their pretty little dresses, fashionable high heels, and their flowing long hair dyed in various colors.
Until she met that person more than fifty years ago, and was cruelly separated from him, she impulsively transformed herself into an old woman, no longer seeking out interesting stories or events in the world, living each day in a daze, repeating the same routine...
Lord Guan Nan also gave the new Meng Po a raise, an assistant, and the ability to send public relations personnel...
"What if I refuse to be Meng Po?" Gu Lili's sudden question interrupted Fangfangfang's thoughts.
"What I mean is... I don't know how to make soup," Gu Lili said, putting down her chopsticks and casually pulling out a napkin to wipe her mouth.
Guan Nan's face darkened: "The essence can no longer be separated from you. If you are unwilling to be Meng Po, or cannot understand how to make soup, then we can only cut off a piece of your spirit with the essence every day and feed it to the soup pot."
Gu Lili frowned and glanced at the contract on the table. She pondered in her heart that Meng Po's essence was within her, so she couldn't refuse. It seemed that she could only accept this job for now. Once she had accumulated enough points, she would use the "golden cicada shedding its shell" trick to be reincarnated into a good family.
"Swish swish"
Gu Lili picked up the pen on the table, twirled it between her fingers twice, and then signed her name on the contract.
"Give her the employee handbook, then take her back to the underworld." Guan Nan turned his head and gave Fang Fang a few instructions before walking out without looking back.
Just as 389 said, Guan Nan is handsome, but his arrogant and aloof demeanor is annoying.
"Lady Meng Po, here's your strawberry cake."
The PR person who had previously handed her a straw now smiled and placed an exquisite bone china plate in front of Gu Lili. On one corner of the plate was a cake covered in cream, with a pink strawberry coated in caramel stuck to it. The chopsticks that had been used to eat the boiled fish were also removed and replaced with a silver fork with a porcelain handle.
No one can resist the temptation of strawberry cupcakes. A green stem hangs between the snow-white and pink colors, making Gu Lili swallow hard and pick up a silver fork to eat them.
Only after the last dollop of cream on the plate was scooped up with a fork and put into her mouth did Gu Lili put down her fork with satisfaction: "Let me take a look at that employee handbook."
"The usage method is the same as the 'Handbook for Reincarnation of Souls in the Underworld.' You only need to click on the category to view the relevant content," said Fangfangfang, the public relations representative, respectfully handing over the handbook.
Gu Lili took the manual, gently opened it, and an electronic screen gradually lit up. It was indeed a foldable tablet, just like the birth manual.
"New Underworld Staff Guide"
I. The process and reasons for the succession of the underworld
II. Summary of Positions and Responsibilities of Various Departments in the Underworld
III. Taboos and Punishment Standards in the Underworld
IV. Guidelines for Redeeming Underworld Occupation Points
Gu Lili stretched out her finger and clicked on the first item.
The dense text was piled up on the screen in front of me, and no matter how many times I swiped my finger upwards, it still seemed endless.
The owner of the finger pursed his lips: "Pay points, and get me the simplified version."
"There is no simplified version, Lady Meng Po," Fang Fangfang slowly moved closer to her and added, "The employee handbook contains many details about things to note during your tenure. You should read it carefully."
"Huh?" The PR person who had been fawningly handing over the straw earlier strode over and shoved Fangfangfang aside, saying, "Sir, we certainly don't have a simplified version of this manual, but I can tell you about the entire history of the underworld's changes, as well as your leaders and colleagues. Text is indeed a bit dry for people in this short-video era like you."
That's someone who knows how to adapt.
Gu Lili looked at the dining table, then around the room, and finally pointed to the low sofa against the wall: "Let's sit there."
Upon hearing this, the obsequious PR person grinned and nodded, sitting down on the sofa with Gu Lili. Then, she opened the handbook and said, "Lady Meng Po, the first item in our handbook..."
"Keep it simple."
"Oh...yes, our underworld is quite different from what is described in the human world. As you can see, it's a modern underworld, and some of its equipment is even more advanced than in the real world. Whether it's the reincarnation of the dead, the promotion of our underworld staff, or the ascension of our leaders to immortality, it all relies on the calculation and operation of a large points system."
"Can one even advance in rank or ascend to immortality?"
"Times have changed. The older generation of leaders have lived for millions of years. Some have accumulated enough merit points to attain the Great Dao, while others have chosen to go into seclusion for a long time after selecting their successors. Our Lord Guannan is the successor chosen by the Underworld Commander, the Great Emperor Fengdu, and is responsible for all decisions in this new Underworld."
"How many points do I need to accumulate before I can leave? Explain the specific point system to me."
The obsequious PR person froze, their standard fake smile seemingly frozen on their already pale face, making them look extremely eerie: "You... there's no promotion standard for you in the handbook. Since your position was created, it's been... it's been the same person every time."
Gu Lili was speechless. For tens of thousands of years, or even longer, the person she had been arguing with had been simmering that pot of rotten soup here all this time? Although the treatment seemed decent, this dark and tedious place was unbearable. If it were someone else, or if she were to endure it here, she wouldn't be able to stand it even for a year, let alone tens of thousands of years.
"So, I'm stuck here forever??"
The sycophantic PR man's lips twitched: "My lord, the treatment in the modern underworld is quite good. Besides, you have an exclusive official position, and you can basically enjoy treatments that you can't enjoy in the human world. The only thing is that you have less freedom."
Gu Lili seemed tired of sitting, or perhaps a little impatient. She crossed her arms and turned towards the other person, sneering, "Heh, this position is yours, do you want it?"
"Your Meng Po essence is not something that just anyone can handle. The previous Meng Po once offered to resign, but even our Fengdu Emperor couldn't extract her essence, so it didn't work out. Perhaps, perhaps one day you will meet someone destined to take over your task, and then you will be able to ascend to the Great Dao."
Ha, a destined person? It just means I'll have to wait and meet another unlucky guy like me.
"Then tell me the recipe for Meng Po soup. I'm tired. Take me back to rest. I'll take the manual back and read it slowly."
"Lady Meng Po, we don't know the recipe, and it's not in the manual. Only Meng Po herself knows the recipe, otherwise no one would have been able to take over the position of Meng Po for tens of thousands of years."
Gu Lili suddenly sat up: "What the hell?!"
What do you mean nobody knows the recipe? You guys don't know, and neither do I! Being stuck here is one thing, but without a recipe, what am I supposed to cook?!
"You'll have to figure it out yourself. The previous Lady Meng Po gave you her essence, and the soup is the same color as the essence, so it must be related to the essence," Fangfangfang said.
“Okay, I’ll take the manual back and read it slowly.” Gu Lili reached out and snatched the manual from the fawning PR person’s hand, shook it in her hand, and then turned to Fangfangfang and said, “Then take me back to where we were queuing, I want to try it out.”
After the rising black mist dissipated, they returned to the Bridge of Helplessness. At the bridge entrance was Gu Lili's stall, where the souls of the dead were gathered in small groups, whispering among themselves about Meng Po's big gossip.
"Hey, hey, did you see that? Meng Po just walked across the bridge."
"Huh? Was that Meng Po just now? You didn't see wrong, did you?"
"Why is she walking on the bridge? Shouldn't she be here to make soup? Or are they crossing the Bridge of Helplessness after get off work?"
"Shh, didn't you see the chaos just now? I saw it clearly from the front. Meng Po made a dead soul so angry that it drank Meng Po soup." The dead soul nodded to the few onlookers who were stunned by the big news, and then held up three fingers and waved them in front of their eyes: "Three bowls, glug glug, I drank three bowls in a row!"
The unexpected situation forced the Bai family's public relations staff, who were supposed to maintain order, to stay outside the underworld on standby, which gave the previously quiet, queuing souls room to act.
"You're not even planning to be reincarnated?" Fangfangfang stood in front of the table and said sternly.
The once noisy underworld instantly became clean, and the souls lined up in an orderly fashion, falling silent.
Gu Lili walked to the bridge and saw the former Meng Po swaying as she crossed the River of Oblivion to the mortal realm, preparing to be reincarnated: "Sixth Brother!" she muttered disdainfully at her back.
"The contract says I can have one assistant. Can I choose one myself?"
"Of course, Lady Meng Po."
"Then I'd like number 389, is that okay too?"
Gu Lili pointed in the direction of number 389 in the line and said.
"This...you want the dead as your assistants, I'm afraid..."
"The contract doesn't specify that it can't be a ghost, so in that case, I'll keep No. 389 with me for now. If the Emperor blames me later, I'll just replace him."
"Yes, Lady Meng Po."
The PR person teleported number 389, who was still standing in a daze in line, along the road to the underworld, and introduced her to Gu Lili's identity as the new Meng Po (the goddess of forgetfulness). The girl was so surprised that she regarded Gu Lili as an idol.
Meng Po's assistant's duties:
They reside in the reincarnation office where Meng Po resides, assisting Meng Po with all her daily tasks.
Assistant compensation:
Can accompany Meng Po on team building trips and business trips, share annual leave, and receive an annual salary of 80,000 points. Under special circumstances, they are not bound by public relations judges or other public officials and are directly under Meng Po's jurisdiction.
"By signing this employment contract, you can, like Lady Meng Po, escape the cycle of reincarnation and no longer suffer the pain of rebirth. The employment is similar to a labor dispatch in the real world. If Lady Meng Po is not satisfied with your work performance, she can terminate the contract and let you re-enter the cycle of reincarnation."
Fangfangfang sighed as she brought over the assistant's contract. The usually cold and ruthless Lord Guannan's contract looked like it had been heavily bribed. It was far better than the previous Meng Po's treatment. If Lord Guannan had shown her favor earlier, the previous Meng Po might have...
"Okay, I'm willing. I'll sign. I will do my best to assist Lady Meng Po."
With a flourish of his pen, number 389 wrote the three numbers 389 in the signature area.
"Wait, why did you sign your number? You should sign your real name."
Fangfangfang's face immediately darkened. The signature couldn't be changed unless the Emperor rewrote it, but no subordinate wanted to risk getting into trouble with Lord Guannan's cold-faced leadership.
"Hehe, this is how Lady Meng Po addressed me when we first met. Let's just keep calling her that."
"It's great! 389 is catchy, I'm used to saying it like that. Is it okay to leave it like this?"
Upon hearing this, Gu Lili turned to Fangfangfang and asked.
"No problem, Lady Meng Po. You can arrange your assistant however you like."
Fangfangfang was also helpless. Times have changed. Neither the dead nor the newly appointed Lady Meng Po are as rigid and heavy as in ancient times. It makes sense. The underworld has adopted all kinds of technological products from the human world. The meeting place between the judges and the Western death gods has changed from hell to a coffee shop. Reality and the underworld, the living and the living souls are all evolving and transforming.
Because Gu Lili released too much Meng Po soup during her argument with her ex-Meng Po, she finished her work for the day ahead of schedule, so she was able to leave work early this afternoon.
After packing her things, Gu Lili looked at the crowd in line. No one rushed out to argue with her after she got off work, so she turned around guiltily and walked towards the employee passage that Fangfangfang had pointed out.
Following the employee passage, I came to a small house with a sign that read "Meng Po's Residence". The house was a bit old, and there was nothing inside except a single bed and a dining table.
"This Meng Po lives a life of poverty and hardship."
"When the former Lady Meng Po first took office, she was a bright and cheerful person. However, the long-term repetition of the daily routine of brewing soup and going to and from get off work gradually made her numb. Although Lady Meng Po is a well-known underworld official, she is also trapped in the Yellow Springs for lifetimes. She doesn't understand how Lord Guan Nan's mansion became a pyramid, she doesn't understand when the public relations staff started wearing suits, and she can't appreciate the joy that her colleagues bring back novelties after team building."
Seeing Gu Lili's surprise at the dire state of Meng Po's residence, Fangfangfang couldn't help but explain to her.
"I'm sorry, I..."
After Meng Po left, Gu Lili began to understand her, realizing that she was just as miserable as herself.
Although Gu Lili often complains about her fate, she believes she has never done anything immoral. But now, if someone asks her about it, she probably won't feel that she was born with a clear conscience anymore.
"Lady Meng Po, Lord Guan Nan instructed that you can renovate Meng Po Residence according to your own preferences. If you want to live with your assistant, you can also renovate it into a villa. Just tell me directly."
"Also, here is your phone. WiFi is already connected for you. The Underworld Enterprise WeChat account has been downloaded and logged in. All your colleagues and leaders have been added to the WeChat account. My WeChat account has been pinned to the top for your convenience in contacting me anytime."
Fangfangfang stopped talking to Gu Lili about the past of the previous Meng Po and mechanically explained various trivial matters. Gu Lili had no choice but to nod and agree, and began searching for pictures online to prepare to build her own Meng Po's lair.
"Ding~"
A message suddenly popped up on my phone; it was from the Underworld's deployment work group.
"I have an announcement to make: the former Meng Po has been reincarnated and will be succeeded by Gu Lili."
It was a message from Lord Guan Nan that tagged the entire group, including Gu Lili. The message briefly summarized a special event that had never occurred in thousands of years. The subordinates didn't ask any questions, but simply kept saying "I received it, Lord Guan Nan" and "Congratulations, congratulations, congratulations, Gu Lili."
People say that human relationships are cold and indifferent, but the same is true for ghosts.
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