Chapter 56 Chapter 56 "So, give up your sincerity." ...
Jiu Zhao was dreaming.
In fact, immortals rarely dream.
Whenever I dream, it is either related to obsession or a rare, precognitive dream that is impossible to understand, with a false reality hidden within.
Being broken off by Lan Qi became the biggest obsession in Jiu Zhao's smooth life.
For the past four thousand five hundred years, every time her dream appeared, it was fixed on her wedding day.
Lan Qi's every movement, every word, every change in his expression when he pointed the Liexiao Sword at her.
Jiu Zhao remembered it all clearly.
…
But now, for the first time, someone else broke into her obsessive dream.
This is a chaotic dream with constantly changing scenes and characters.
Sometimes she and Fuxu stood in the snowy wind in the northern valley, surrounded by birds of paradise that had gained freedom and were flying around.
Fuxu had his back to her, with black hair and black clothes, and a tall figure, like a drop of ink spread on a white piece of paper.
He never turned his head again, so Jiu Zhao could only stare at his back.
His voice was cold, and compared to the temperature around him, it was hard to tell which was more chilling.
The wind and snow became increasingly fierce, almost making people lost in the deadly valley.
Jiu Zhao huddled together, hugging himself tightly with his arms. He knew clearly that the only source of heat was right in front of him, but he didn't dare to go forward.
Amid the whistling wind, she heard Fuxu calling her name.
Said: "It is because of your stubbornness that our fate has come to an end."
Jiu Zhao had no time to answer.
Sometimes the scene switches quickly, returning to the wedding scene again.
There was no one around to watch the ceremony, and the sky and earth were left with only the clouds and silence.
Lan Qi, dressed in his wedding attire, held no sword. His face, as graceful as a jade statue standing tall in a courtyard, moved closer the moment he saw Jiu Zhao emerge. His warm breath caressed Jiu Zhao's cheek, and he spoke heartbreaking words with a smile.
"Zhao Zhao, ah Zhao Zhao, if you were not Her Highness Shen Ji, who do you think would love you?"
This time, the dream finally gave Jiu Zhao a chance to speak.
The double blow from the two men stung her, her pupils turning red, and she nearly vomited blood. "I didn't want to be a goddess in the first place. If I lose this identity, no one will love me, and then I'll be fine—even if no one loves me, I won't die!"
"Yeah?"
Lan Qi lifted up her long hair that was messed up by the wind and snow, and sneered softly.
At the same time, a green divine light suddenly appeared, and Fuxu stood silently beside Lan Qi.
His dark eyes were filled with emotions that Jiu Zhao was extremely familiar with in the past.
That kind of emotion is called looking down on a pile of mud that can't be helped.
In the past, Jiu Zhao always avoided comparing the two.
Now that they were in the same camp, appearing before her side by side, she realized that after she had left behind her wishful thinking and returned to the cruel reality, she realized that apart from their different appearances and bodies, the essence of their souls was almost the same.
They questioned her, whether their tone was cold or warm:
"Why do you say it so easily?
"Do you think it's your own choice whether or not to be a divine princess?
"You are the only daughter of the God Emperor. If you give up, he will have to choose a suitable candidate from other aristocratic families and tribes to inherit the throne.
"With the God-Emperor's protection, you can still live a peaceful and irresponsible life. But if the God-Emperor passes away one day and a new emperor ascends the throne, how can anyone else sleep on the emperor's bed? With you, the legitimate descendant of the God-Emperor, around, will the new emperor feel at ease?"
Jiu Zhao had been training in Changye Academy for over ten thousand years, and the only thing he had improved was his magical powers, but he knew nothing about power politics and checks and balances.
She didn't understand the emperor's inescapable suspicion, nor did she understand the determination to rather kill someone by mistake than let him go.
She retreated step by step under the pressure of Lan Qi and Fu Xu, but they still refused to let her go. "Besides, since you were born, you have been a noble goddess for more than 30,000 years. You have been extravagant and willful, enjoying the power above everyone else—
"Does it mean that when it's our turn to shoulder our responsibilities, we can shamelessly choose to give them up?
"If you eat the food provided by the people, you must repay them with your own flesh and blood—"
They no longer gently called him "Zhao Zhao" or respectfully addressed him as "Your Highness".
They stood against her, as if they were born enemies.
Jiu Zhao was furious at their offense, but whenever he wanted to fight back, his throat felt like it was filled with paste and dried up. He stood there unable to move, and could only passively accept them using words as a weapon to pick off layer after layer of self-deceiving scabs.
When she was in so much pain that she couldn't speak, all her suppressed emotions turned into tears and rolled down her eyes.
They smiled and wiped away her tears with satisfaction, one on each side.
“There are places where once you go up, you can’t get down—
"Zhao Zhao, don't you understand?
"You can live for power, live for ruling the Three Pure Heavens, live for holding on to the highest position.
"But the only thing you can't do is live for love or for yourself."
…
“So, give up your sincerity.”
The more I wiped away my tears, the more they appeared, gradually blurring the entire world before my eyes.
The villain trapped in her heart repeatedly pounded the invisible, solid wall. Through her wildly dilated pupils, she kept shouting at the two of them, "Why should I listen to you? You are nothing but subjects kneeling at my feet!!"
But when he shouted to the end, Jiu Zhao suddenly discovered.
The transparent wall that gradually grew thicker and even obliterated the sound was not under the control of the two of them, but came from her heart.
Take responsibility and hold supreme authority.
Give up your sincerity.
Give up sincerity——
You will never be sad again.
…
Jiu Zhao opened his eyes.
The stinging feeling of having words as sharp as a knife pierce into the soul seems to still remain deep in my mind.
Equally clear were the warm tears that had accumulated at the corners of her eyes and had not yet fallen.
Staring upwards, she thought for a long time before she understood where those words that the real Lan Qi and Fu Xu had never said in her obsessive dream came from - they were the external projection of the wall in her heart, and the self-doubt she had experienced after being repeatedly squeezed by emotions and responsibilities.
Those overwhelming questions were the reality that she had hidden and was unwilling to face.
In the dream where she had let down all her defenses, she couldn't help but pick it up.
Feelings, responsibilities, which is more important?
Where should our own will go?
The high fever that lasted for several days and nights eventually left sequelae in the body. When Jiu Zhao was about to continue to examine her inner self, the veins on both sides of her forehead began to throb with pain, interrupting her emotions that had nowhere to be released.
Jiu Zhao wanted to cover it with force, but his hands felt so heavy as if they were tied with thousand-pound rocks and could not be moved at all.
The last time she fell seriously ill was four thousand five hundred years ago when she vomited blood for Lan Qi.
Jiu Zhao lay straight, waiting for the numbness to subside. He stared at the rafters for a long time, then suddenly remembered hearing those young lovers chattering in the academy. They said that a breakup was like an illness. If the love was not deep, it was just like catching a cold from the wind, and a few days of coughing would heal. But if the love was too deep, it would take half of your life to recover.
The high fever really took half her life.
But when he woke up, Jiu Zhao found that he was still not recovered.
The weakness in her limbs had not faded yet. She turned her head with difficulty, wanting to call Zhu Yingjiangyu, who was probably waiting outside the door, to come in and help her up.
But his peripheral vision caught sight of a sleeping figure with black hair and black clothes, whose face was hidden by his arms. Jiu Zhao felt that he had been having an illusion again.
"help--"
She couldn't help but call out the name that had just appeared in her dream, but her hoarse voice woke the man up.
The raven hair under the green crown swung in a swaying arc as he stood up, and Xue Zuo's face was almost transparent in the contrast between light and dark.
Different from Fuxu's handsome and handsome appearance.
It was a face that one would never forget once seeing it.
Jiu Zhao was no exception, and therefore felt even more lost.
Her eyes froze for a moment, and she asked, "...Why is it you?"
Zhu Yan accurately captured the disappointment that was hard to conceal in these words.
But he never made assumptions, nor did he dwell on who Jiu Zhao imagined would be his companion.
The remaining sleepiness in his peach blossom eyes returned to clarity in the blink of an eye. He immediately sat up, smoothed the bed that he had wrinkled, and asked softly, "Miss, you are awake. How are you feeling now? You haven't eaten or drunk anything for several days. Would you like a cup of tea to refresh yourself first?"
The words came out of his mouth without thinking, and Jiu Zhao, who was slow to come to his senses after a few breaths, felt that something was wrong.
Fortunately, Zhu Yan didn't ask any more questions.
She slurred the word "tea" and took a few sips from Zhu Yan's hand. After the burning dryness in her throat eased, she changed her tone to something more appropriate: "How come you're here, and where are Zhu Ying and Jiang Yu?"
"The young lady has been in a coma for five days, and it was Miss Zhu Ying and Miss Jiang Yu who stayed by her bedside, taking care of her every step of the way. Today is my turn to rest, and seeing that their eyes are black and they can't hold on any longer, I'm here to take their place."
I'm just helping to keep watch, how can I expect him to fall asleep?
Jiu Zhao looked at his eyes and saw two large dark spots.
Even if the immortals' cultivation was suppressed and they felt hungry and tired like ordinary cultivators, they would not be so fragile.
She never liked to argue with evasive words. Just as she was about to ask a few more questions, her mind suddenly flashed back to the vague conversation between the three of them a few days ago before she completely passed out. It seemed that Zhu Yan and Zhu Ying had spent a lot of energy to heal her.
He is also busy repairing the stairs to heaven, and when he has free time, he has to consume extra spiritual energy.
No wonder I'm so tired.
Although he looks very smart, he acts foolishly when it comes to whether or not to leave his name behind when doing good deeds.
I don’t know who this kind of character is like, who gives a lot but refuses to say even a cent.
When Jiu Zhao chose to face up to the position of Shen Ji and what benefits it brought her, she no longer took others' kindness for granted. She raised her neck and nodded to him with all her strength: "...Thank you for spending so much energy to save me."
A slight surprise threw a stone into Zhu Yan's heart, which was as calm as stagnant water.
After not seeing her for these few days, it seems that something is different about this self-centered goddess.
Zhu Yan tried to accurately identify what was different, and then he heard her leaning on the bed, slowly giving orders: "However, Yun Shengshi's travel plan must be carried out - after I recover from my illness, I can't stay in this lifeless house for even a day."
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