Chapter 83 Anxiety Arrives When It Shouldn't...
Xia Zhiyao woke up first. When she opened her eyes, she found Zhou Yue holding her, fast asleep.
His breathing was even and slow, carrying the tranquility unique to the early morning. His chin rested on her shoulder, and the sharpness between his brows was gone, making him look like a big boy who had completely let down his guard.
Xia Zhiyao paused, instinctively holding her breath, afraid of disturbing him. She looked at him quietly, a complex emotion unconsciously rising in her eyes. The passion of last night, his vulnerability and dependence afterward, and his peaceful sleeping face now weighed heavily on her heart.
She raised her hand and gently brushed aside the messy stray hairs on his forehead. Her fingertips slid along his temples, the movement so light it was almost tender. Zhou Yue seemed to sense something in his sleep, his brows twitched slightly, but he quickly relaxed and hugged her even tighter.
Xia Zhiyao's breath hitched, and a faint smile involuntarily curved her lips. At that moment, she suddenly felt that such a morning, quiet and mundane, was the most unsettling.
Zhou Yue stirred slightly under the caress of her palm. His breathing became erratic for a moment before he slowly opened his eyes. The morning light shone in his eyes, mixed with the haze of waking up, but it immediately fell on her face.
"You woke up really early." His voice was still hoarse with sleepiness as he hummed softly, with a hint of clinginess.
Xia Zhiyao didn't respond, but moved her body slightly, trying to remove his hands that were wrapped around her waist. However, Zhou Yue reacted quickly and hugged her even tighter, his chin rubbing against her shoulder again. His voice was muffled but firm: "Don't move, lie down for a while longer."
Xia Zhiyao was both amused and exasperated by his shameless attitude. She raised her hand and pushed him away, saying, "You're hugging me so tightly I can't breathe."
Zhou Yue looked up at her, her gaze still sleepy, yet more focused than ever.
The two finally got up slowly. Zhou Yue still carried a lingering sense of languor, as if he were still immersed in the warmth of his bed.
As Xia Zhiyao straightened the cuffs of her pajamas, she turned to look at him, a slight smile playing on her lips: "Am I sincere enough?"
Zhou Yue stared intently at her, a glint of something unreadable in his eyes, his voice low and hoarse from the lingering effects of the alcohol: "That's it?"
Xia Zhiyao raised an eyebrow slightly, paused, and then met his gaze with a half-smile: "Then what else do you want?"
She thought he would take advantage of the lingering warmth of last night to provoke her again, but to her surprise, he simply leaned closer slowly, his breath brushing against her ear, his tone surprisingly calm: "You haven't cooked for me in a long time, cook for me this weekend."
Xia Zhiyao was stunned for a moment, her heart suddenly touched by something. The intensity of last night had not yet dissipated, but it was diluted by this casual remark.
In the end, she still laughed out loud, a laugh tinged with helplessness and a touch of sadness: "Is that all you ask for?"
Zhou Yue didn't answer, but simply reached out and pulled her into his arms with an unwavering certainty, as if he was truly afraid she would slip away through the cracks of the morning light.
Those dark eyes no longer held the loss of control and intensity of the previous night. Instead, they were as deep as a bottomless well, containing all desires, vulnerabilities, and longings. The gaze was calm yet oppressive, as if it wanted to swallow her whole.
Xia Zhiyao's breathing became slightly erratic, and she instinctively wanted to look away, but she caught something even more unsettling in his eyes. It wasn't the fervor of possession, but a more ancient and irresistible longing.
What he wanted was never a moment of madness, but the mundane details of daily life, every meal she cooked, the warmth he could reach out and touch when he woke up in the morning, the daily routine, their most authentic everyday life.
Xia Zhiyao was silent for a moment, as if processing his words, then looked up at him and smiled: "So what do you want to eat?"
Zhou Yue didn't answer immediately, but rested his chin on her shoulder, his breath warm and lazy, his voice low and husky with a hint of smugness: "We can just have a simple lunch later, then we'll go to the supermarket this afternoon, and tonight... you can cook for me."
Xia Zhiyao was taken aback, then chuckled at his confident tone: "You've made quite a thorough arrangement."
Zhou Yue raised his eyes, a slight smile playing on his lips, but his gaze was unusually serious: "Of course, I've been thinking about it for a long time."
After lunch, the two drove to Sam's Club. The huge supermarket was bustling with people. As soon as she got the shopping cart, Zhou Yue naturally stood next to her, placed his hand on the handle, and insisted on walking side by side with her.
Xia Zhiyao ignored him and headed straight for the fresh food section. Zhou Yue, on the other hand, was in high spirits, putting things into the car along the way: "Steak windmill rolls...and salmon too, shall we make creamy salmon tonight?"
"Okay." Xia Zhiyao looked down and ticked off items on the list, then grabbed a few more avocados. "Make a salad." Lamb chops, Earl Grey tea cake—the shopping cart gradually filled to the brim.
When paying the bill, Zhou Yue said smugly, "This is enough for several meals."
Xia Zhiyao raised her hand and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, saying calmly, "We'll go to the vegetable market downstairs from your house later."
Zhou Yue was taken aback: "We still have to go?"
"Of course." Xia Zhiyao glanced at him, her tone firm. "For buying groceries, fresh fish and shrimp should still be bought at the market."
Zhou Yue couldn't help but laugh, and put his arm around her shoulder: "Okay, whatever you say. Let's go to the market then."
The market was bustling with noise. Xia Zhiyao rolled up her sleeves and started chatting with the elderly men and women at the stalls in just a few words, bargaining shrewdly. Zhou Yue stood aside, hands in his pockets, watching her back and forth with the vendors, his eyes and brows full of smiles.
He tried to interject, but couldn't get a word in edgewise. He could only smile awkwardly, looking like a mere accomplice.
Xia Zhiyao's movements as she picked out shrimp and scooped fish were skillful and efficient. In just a few moments, she poured the fresh, live shrimp into a bag and then had the vendor weigh out a few sea bass.
Zhou Yue stared intently, while Xia Zhiyao was paying the stall owner when she suddenly felt a burning gaze behind her. Turning around, she bumped into him with a silly grin on his face.
She raised an eyebrow: "What are you laughing at?"
Zhou Yue couldn't contain himself; his eyes were filled with irrepressible tenderness and admiration, and his voice was low and husky with a hint of teasing: "You really have a good life."
Xia Zhiyao was stunned for a moment, and subconsciously turned her face away. She didn't like to hear such words, as if they were too easy to see through.
But Zhou Yue couldn't help feeling happy as he watched her skillfully picking and choosing items at the stall, even haggling with the elderly men and women.
He suddenly felt a great weight lifted from his chest, as if he had finally seen that she was willing to rekindle her passion for life, instead of wallowing in indifference and alienation.
Actually, his saying he wanted to eat her cooking was just an excuse. What he really wanted was for her to put in some effort for their life and to do these mundane things with him.
Xia Zhiyao picked up a bag of seafood and handed it to him. Zhou Yue obediently took it, but the corners of his mouth were still curled up, and the satisfaction in his heart was almost overflowing.
Along the way, Xia Zhiyao also picked out a lot of vegetables. Zhou Yue's hands were full, and the bags swayed heavily in his arms. He complained about the weight, but his eyes couldn't hide his joy, as if he was happy to be surrounded by this lively atmosphere.
As they reached the exit, the crowd was noisy, and the air was filled with the damp smell of the sea. Zhou Yue suddenly lowered his head, leaned close to her ear, and whispered in a very soft voice, as if it were a secret that belonged only to her: "Zhiyao, I really like you like this."
Xia Zhiyao paused slightly, turned to stare at him, and raised an eyebrow: "Which one do you like?"
Zhou Yue was taken aback by her gaze, but the corners of his lips slowly curved up, his eyes filled with genuine light: "I like how you pick and choose, how you haggle with people, I like how you buy vegetables, fish and shrimp... I like the way you live your life." He spoke with utmost seriousness, without a trace of joking, as if this was the scene he longed for most in his heart.
Back home, the kitchen was filled with a bounty of ingredients, creating a lively and bustling atmosphere.
Xia Zhiyao deftly rolled up her sleeves, took out a cleaver, and started cutting the meat. Zhou Yue stood to the side, arms crossed, smiling at her: "Do you need my help?"
Xia Zhiyao didn't look up, and casually said, "Wash the vegetables and then remove the shrimp veins."
Zhou Yue was taken aback, raised an eyebrow at her, and said with a sly look in his eyes, "That's it? Such a simple job, you're underestimating me, aren't you?"
Xia Zhiyao finally looked up, a smile playing on her lips: "We agreed that I would cook and you would assist. If you can remove the shrimp veins cleanly, I'll consider you qualified."
Zhou Yue clicked his tongue, rolled up his sleeves, and walked to the pool. He looked very serious, but soon he couldn't help but look up at her. She was cutting meat with her head down, her movements were crisp and neat. Her profile was illuminated by the light, and her eyebrows and eyes were quiet and focused. He was slightly moved by her and his hands slowed down.
The kitchen was filled with steam and aromas. Xia Zhiyao was so busy that her feet barely touched the ground. The steak sizzled in the pan, the salmon cream sauce bubbled and boiled, and the seasoning for the seafood salad was finally finished.
She deftly served each dish and placed them on the table.
Zhou Yue had already obediently gone to set the table. As he reached for the chopstick holder, he turned to look at her, his eyes filled with an irrepressible smile.
"Hurry up, don't make me carry this." Xia Zhiyao urged, placing a plate of lamb chops on the ground.
"Alright." Zhou Yue quickly set out the bowls and chopsticks, and also neatly placed the napkins and cups on the table. Looking at the table full of dishes, he whistled.
Zhou Yue smiled and pulled out a chair to sit down, but didn't rush to pick up his chopsticks. Instead, he rested his chin on his hand and watched her take her seat. Under the light, his eyes were serious and bright, as if the dishes on the table and the warmth of the room only had meaning because of her.
Xia Zhiyao felt her heart burning under his gaze, so she pretended to be calm and picked up a piece of salmon and put it in her bowl: "Eat up, weren't you starving?"
Zhou Yue then picked up her chopsticks, took a bite of a lamb chop, and her eyes lit up immediately: "It's so delicious!" As she spoke, she immediately put another piece into her bowl, "You should try some too."
Xia Zhiyao couldn't help but chuckle: "How could I not know the taste of the dishes I made?"
“That’s different.” Zhou Yue’s tone was firm, his eyes burning. “I want to eat with you what you made.”
Xia Zhiyao watched Zhou Yue bury his head in his food, his expression as satisfied as a child who had received candy, even the corners of his eyes were smiling.
In that instant, a long-lost sense of peace welled up in her heart. The steaming heat from the kitchen, the enticing aroma from the dining table, and the satisfied look on the face of the person across from her all pieced together a scene she had never dared to imagine.
A slight warmth rose in her chest; perhaps this was what life should be like. But what followed was an inexplicable sense of unease, spreading silently like a shadow.
The more real and tender these moments are, the more apprehensive she becomes. Like sand in the palm of her hand, the tighter she holds it, the faster it slips away. The more she longs to hold on, the more afraid she is of it disappearing at any moment.
She lowered her head, pretending to focus on picking up food, to hide the uncontrollable turmoil in her eyes. Satisfaction and unease swirled in her chest, and her throat tightened.
Zhou Yue, however, was completely oblivious, focusing only on eating heartily, his brows relaxed and his smile undisguised: "I think you could really open a restaurant, the food is absolutely amazing."
Xia Zhiyao was stunned for a moment, then subconsciously looked up and met his bright, undisguised eyes, which were filled with unwavering joy, without doubt or concern.
A sudden pang of sadness gripped her heart, but she could only manage a weak smile as she softly replied, "Mm."
The scene before me was so gentle it was almost unreal. On the table were plates of steaming dishes, and the people opposite me were eating with great satisfaction, their expressions filled with contentment.
But precisely because of this, she became even more afraid, as if a corner of her heart had been gently torn open, and a sharp pain followed.
She told herself that one day he might leave, maybe soon, maybe a long time; this sense of security wouldn't last forever.
The dining table was filled with the gentle warmth of home cooking, yet her heart felt as if it were being slowly swallowed by shadows. Anxiety crept in at the worst possible moment, seizing her fiercely in the most tender instant, making her even more panicked than the previous night's intensity and loss of control. The more she indulged in it, the clearer she became that she could not bear to lose it.
But when Zhou Yue looked up at her, she still raised her face and smiled, as if nothing had happened.
Zhou Yue didn't see the undercurrents churning in her heart. He only saw her smile, so he peeled a large shrimp and put it in her bowl, saying, "Eat more yourself." His actions were as natural as if they had always lived like this.
Xia Zhiyao stared at the shrimp in the bowl, her heart torn between panic and tenderness. She couldn't even tell whether she wanted to escape or just stop.
"Why aren't you saying anything?" Zhou Yue turned his head to look at her, his eyes still smiling, but he was bothered by her silence.
Xia Zhiyao felt a tightness under his gaze, barely suppressing the turmoil in her heart. She picked up her chopsticks and gently peeled the shrimp meat, feigning composure: "I'm wondering if it's a little salty."
Zhou Yue paused for a moment, then chuckled softly, "It's perfect, just right. I like whatever you make, no matter how it tastes."
Xia Zhiyao's throat tightened, and she lowered her eyes to hide the tears that were about to overflow. The warmth of this meal was almost luxurious. The more she felt his satisfaction, the more afraid she was that such days would one day disappear.
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