Chapter 114: Hard to Hide
On the third day after Sizhui woke up, his various indicators had finally stabilized, and the doctor said he could be transferred to a general ward after two more days of observation. Wei Wuxian stayed by his bedside, gazing into the boy's clear eyes after he woke up, listening to his soft cries of "Daddy" and "Father," and his heart, which had been hanging in the balance for so long, finally settled down.
"How do you feel?" Wei Wuxian asked with a smile, trying to make his voice sound normal.
"Much better, just a little tired." Si Zhui rubbed his eyes and looked at his pale face. "Dad, what's wrong with you? You look so bad."
“It’s okay,” Wei Wuxian ruffled his hair and avoided his gaze. “I haven’t slept well recently. Once you’re better, Daddy can have a good rest.”
Sizhui nodded, without asking any more questions, and just obediently drank the porridge handed to him by Lan Wangji.
Wei Wuxian looked at him, a smile playing on his lips, but something tugged at his heart—he could deceive everyone, but he couldn't deceive the increasingly intense pain in his body. The aftereffects of the blood transfusion were gradually taking hold. Every day, from the afternoon to late at night, for six hours, it felt like countless knives were stabbing at his body, the pain so intense that he almost curled up.
He couldn't reveal the truth in front of Si Zhui, and he couldn't let anyone other than Lan Wangji worry.
So, when Sizhui fell asleep again, Wei Wuxian hurriedly left the ward, using the excuse of going to the pharmacy to get medicine. He stumbled back to their temporary room, locked the door behind him, and slid down to the floor with his back against the door, his clothes instantly soaked with cold sweat.
pain.
Overwhelming pain surged from every part of his body to his heart, as if it was shattering his very organs. Wei Wuxian bit his lip tightly, trying not to make a sound, his nails digging deep into his palms, leaving several crescent-shaped bloody marks.
He knew Lan Wangji was probably in the study, tending to some business, and wouldn't be back at this hour. He just wanted to find a place to sit alone and endure the pain, then, as usual, once the pain subsided, he could put on his composure and return to everyone.
But today, he obviously miscalculated.
With a click, the door lock turned, and Lan Wangji pushed the door open, holding a stack of documents in his hand. Seeing Wei Wuxian curled up on the ground, the documents in his hand fell to the ground with a clatter, and his face turned pale instantly.
"Wei Ying!"
Lan Wangji rushed over and pulled him into a hug. He felt a chill to his touch. Wei Wuxian's body was shaking uncontrollably, his lips bitten white from biting, and his forehead was covered in sweat. He was clearly in great pain.
"Why didn't you call me?" Lan Wangji's voice trembled, and his fingertips stroked his sweaty cheek, feeling extremely heartbroken.
Wei WuXian slowly opened his eyes, and seeing the bloodshot and panic in his eyes, he smiled weakly, his voice as thin as a mosquito: "Still... I didn't dodge it..."
He had wanted to hide better, at least not let Lan Wangji see him in such a state of disarray. The man was already worried enough, and he didn't want to add to his worries.
"Silly boy." Lan Wangji picked him up and gently placed him on the bed. He found a thin blanket to cover him and turned around to pour warm water.
Wei Wuxian leaned against the headboard, his body stiff with pain, unable even to lift a hand. He watched Lan Wangji's busy back as an indescribable bitterness welled up in his heart. He thought he had hidden it well, but he didn't know that this man had already carved his pain into his bones.
Lan Wangji brought him some warm water and the painkillers Wen Ning had prepared, carefully feeding him the pills. The pills slid down his throat, bringing a slight cool sensation, but it couldn't immediately alleviate the pain that pierced his bones.
"Just bear with it, the medicine will take effect soon." Lan Wangji sat by the bed, holding his cold hand, and gently rubbing the wound on his palm with his fingertips. "Don't bear it alone in the future, okay?"
Wei WuXian looked at him, his eyes reddened, his voice tearful: "I don't want you to worry..."
"How could I not be worried?" Lan Wangji's voice was hoarse. "If you're in pain, I'm in ten times as much. You locked yourself away, and I'm out there, not knowing how you're doing. It would only make me more panicked."
He paused, then pulled Wei Wuxian into his arms, letting him lean against his shoulder. His movements were as gentle as if he were handling a fragile treasure. "We are companions. Your pain should be shared by us. Hiding it isn't for my own good; it's tearing my heart apart."
Wei Wuxian leaned into his embrace, feeling the warmth and steady heartbeat from his chest, his tense nerves finally relaxing. The pain was still intense, but being held by this man, it seemed less unbearable.
“I’m sorry…” Wei Wuxian’s voice was muffled, “I just… didn’t want you to see me in this state.”
"In my eyes, you look beautiful no matter what you look like." Lan Wangji lowered his head and placed a kiss on the top of his head. "If it hurts, just scream. If you're tired, come closer. Don't force yourself."
Wei Wuxian said nothing, simply huddled in his arms like a cat seeking shelter. The pain continued, but the grievance and helplessness in his heart were gradually soothed by Lan Wangji's gentleness.
He knew he could no longer hide. This man could always see through all his disguises, accept all his embarrassment, and tell him in the most gentle way - you are not alone.
The sunlight from outside the window shone through the gauze curtains, casting mottled shadows on the ground. The room was silent, with only Wei Wuxian's suppressed breathing and Lan Wangji's gentle soothing voice.
After an unknown amount of time, the painkillers finally took effect, and the pain gradually subsided, like the receding tide. Wei Wuxian was too tired to open his eyes, and he fell asleep in Lan Wangji's arms, his brows still slightly furrowed, as if he was still enduring pain in his dream.
Lan Wangji held him, unmoving. He looked down at the pale profile of the man in his arms, the heartache in his eyes almost overflowing. He gently smoothed Wei Wuxian's frown, his fingertips tracing his chapped lips, his movements unnaturally gentle.
He knew this was just the beginning. In the days ahead, this kind of pain would repeat itself day after day, like a torture with no end.
But he wouldn't let Wei Wuxian face it alone.
He would prepare the medicine to be warm, cover him with a warm blanket, and hold him in his arms, accompanying him through every painful hour, until time would grind this pain into a deeper bond between them.
The person in his arms moved and murmured in his sleep, as if calling his name.
Lan Wangji tightened his arms and whispered in his ear, "I'm here."
I've always been here.
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