Chapter 119 Powerless Guardian
When he pushed open the door of the courtyard, Lan Wangji heard suppressed coughs, one after another, like a blunt knife cutting his heart.
He hurried into the room and saw Wei Wuxian, curled up on the bed, his back to the door, his shoulders heaving violently. Several tissues, stained with a glaring red, lay scattered on the floor.
"Wei Ying!" Lan Wangji's heart suddenly stopped and he rushed over to support him.
Wei Wuxian slowly turned around, his face as pale as paper, his lips a purplish blue, and traces of blood still lingering at the corners. He saw Lan Wangji and smiled weakly. Just as he was about to speak, he was interrupted by another coughing fit. He could only raise his hand to cover his mouth in vain, blood oozing from between his fingers.
"Stop coughing..." Lan Wangji's voice trembled. He quickly took a clean tissue and carefully wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth. His movements were as gentle as if he was treating a fragile treasure.
Wei Wuxian coughed for a long time before he recovered. He leaned into Lan Wangji's arms and gasped for breath, his voice so weak that it was almost inaudible: "You... are back..."
"Yeah, I'm back." Lan Wangji hugged him tightly, feeling the thin body and rapid breathing of the person in his arms, and felt a pain in his heart as if a piece of him was being cut out. "Why are you coughing up blood again? Did you forget to take your medicine on time again?"
“I drank it…” Wei WuXian shook his head, his breath barely fading. “It’s no use… It hurts so much, I can’t bear it…”
The aftereffects of the blood transfusion were becoming increasingly severe. Not only had the pain lasted longer, but he had also started coughing up blood. Wen Ning had come to see him and explained that toxins had invaded his lungs, and combined with the blood vessels being depleted, the underlying condition had been damaged. Medication was the only way to maintain his condition, and a permanent cure was difficult.
Lan Wangji hugged him and slowly closed his eyes. A clear spiritual power overflowed from his palm and carefully penetrated into Wei Wuxian's body.
He wanted to help him relieve the pain and suppress the damn poison for him.
But as soon as the spiritual energy entered Wei Wuxian's body, it was like a stone sinking into the ocean, swallowed and dissipated by an invisible force. Wei Wuxian's body was too weak, and his golden core was long gone, so he couldn't withstand his spiritual energy. More importantly, this world had a natural suppression of their spiritual energy. Even he could only mobilize less than one-tenth of the power he once had.
“Don’t waste your energy…” Wei Wuxian weakly grasped his hand and shook his head, “It’s useless… Lan Zhan, don’t waste your energy…”
Lan Wangji didn't stop, still stubbornly channeling his spiritual energy. He knew the effect was minimal, but he still wanted to do something, even if it could only alleviate a ten-thousandth of his pain.
But gradually, he felt Wei Wuxian's body begin to tremble slightly, his face became paler, and his breathing became more and more rapid - his spiritual power had become a burden to Wei Wuxian.
Lan Wangji abruptly withdrew his hand, cold sweat oozing from his forehead. Looking at Wei Wuxian's pained expression, he felt his own powerlessness so clearly for the first time.
Once, he was Han Guangjun, a figure who could stand shoulder to shoulder with the Yiling Patriarch, able to slay all evil spirits with a single sword strike, and single-handedly protect the peace of a region. But now, he couldn't even protect the one he loved most, and couldn't even share the pain he felt.
“I’m sorry…” Lan Wangji’s voice was hoarse, filled with deep frustration, “I can’t help you…”
“Silly boy…” Wei WuXian leaned against his chest, raising his hand with all his strength and gently caressing his cheek. “It’s not your fault… I chose this path myself… I have no regrets…”
He never regretted sacrificing his life for Si Zhui's, but he felt sorry for Lan Wangji having to suffer with him.
Lan Wangji held his cold hand and placed it against his face, feeling the faint warmth: "I know you don't regret it, but I feel bad."
I felt sorry for his embarrassment when he coughed up blood, I felt sorry for his forbearance in forcing a smile, I felt sorry for him curling up in pain but still trying to comfort himself.
Wei Wuxian smiled, and a tear slid down the corner of his eye, which was quickly wiped away by Lan Wangji with his fingertips.
“Don’t cry…” Wei WuXian whispered, “When you cry… I want to cry too…”
Lan Wangji hugged him tightly, buried his face in the crook of his neck, and took a deep breath. There was the familiar scent of Wei Wuxian, a mixture of the faint aroma of medicine and the smell of blood, which made him feel at ease and heartbroken at the same time.
"Don't try to hold on anymore." Lan Wangji's voice was muffled. "Tell me if it hurts. Even if I can't do anything, I'll stay with you."
“Okay…” Wei WuXian nodded, his voice so soft it sounded like a sigh.
The sky outside the window gradually darkened, and the shadow of the wisteria flowers was stretched out, reflected on the wall like a blurry painting. The room was quiet, with only Wei Wuxian's occasional cough and the shallow breathing of the two people.
Lan Wangji held Wei Wuxian tightly, not moving. He knew his spiritual power was of no use, so this was the only way to support each other.
Perhaps, what he could do was never some earth-shattering protection, but just to accompany him like this, to accompany him through one painful night after another, to accompany him in waiting for a recovery that might never come.
But just being able to hold him like this and feel his heartbeat is enough.
Wei Wuxian gradually fell asleep in his arms, his brows still furrowed, clearly still tormented by the pain even in his dreams. Lan Wangji carefully laid him down, tucked him in, and then took the warm water and pills, placing them within easy reach at the head of the bed.
He sat on the edge of the bed, looking at Wei Wuxian's pale sleeping face, the fatigue and heartache in his eyes almost overflowing.
He didn't know how long this kind of life would last, nor did he know how long Wei Wuxian's body could hold on.
But he knew that as long as he was still there, he would never let Wei Wuxian face it alone.
Even if his spiritual power is limited, even if he is powerless to save him, he will protect him until the last moment.
As the night deepened, only moonlight and the aroma of medicine filled the room. Lan Wangji held Wei Wuxian's hand and sat quietly beside the bed, like a silent guardian.
His world is very small, so small that it can only accommodate one suffering person.
His world is so big that he is willing to bear all the hardships for this person.
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