Chapter 180 Crying
When Lan Sizhui, clutching his thermos, ran barefoot out of the guest room, Lin Yan had already changed his shoes and had his hand on the doorknob, ready to leave at any moment. The morning light streamed in from behind him, casting a cold, hard golden edge around him, making his face seem even more cold.
"Brother Lin!" Si Zhui's voice was hoarse from just waking up, and there was a strong hint of crying, "Wait a minute!"
Lin Yan turned around, his eyes falling on his bare ankles. He frowned slightly, but didn't say anything. Only the coldness in his eyes became heavier.
Si Zhui flinched at his gaze, but mustered up the courage to run forward two steps, stopping in front of him. The pain in his back made him hunch slightly, and tears fell from his chin like beads that had broken off the string, hitting the polished floor and leaving a small wet mark.
"Can you...can you hug me?" He sniffed, his voice as thin as a mosquito, with a humble flattery, "Just for a moment...like before..."
Whenever he was wronged in the past, Lin Yan would pull him into his arms, pat him on the back and say, "It's okay." That embrace, with its faint woody scent, always made him feel at ease instantly.
But this time, Lin Yan just looked at him coldly, as if he was looking at an unreasonable stranger.
"Stop making trouble." His voice was hard. "Change your clothes and I'll take you home."
"I won't!" Si Zhui's stubborn temper came back, and his tears fell even harder. "If you don't hug me, I won't go back! Are you still mad at me? I know I was wrong..."
He stretched out his little hand, trying to pull at the corner of Lin Yan's clothes, but was dodged without a trace. That dodge was like a needle, piercing Si Zhui's heart and making his eyes red in an instant.
"Brother Lin..." He choked, barely able to utter a complete sentence, "You weren't like this before... You used to give me candy, listen to my explanations, and..."
"The past is the past, and the present is the present." Lin Yan interrupted him, his tone filled with unquestionable determination, "You did something wrong, so you should bear the consequences. Don't expect to get away with it by just acting coquettishly."
He turned around and opened the door. The cold morning wind, carrying the scent of dew, rushed in, making Si Zhui shiver.
"Let's go." Lin Yan's voice was flat as he walked out first.
Si Zhui stood there, watching his resolute back. The grievance and fear in his heart surged up like a tide, drowning him instantly. He didn't understand why Brother Lin, who always protected him, had become so cold overnight. Did he completely stop wanting him just because he went to a bar?
"Wu…" He couldn't hold it in any longer and burst into tears, his voice filled with despair, "I hate you! Lin Yan, I hate you!"
Lin Yan paused, but did not look back. He just quickened his pace and disappeared in the morning light.
Si Zhui looked at the empty doorway and cried even harder. He fell to the ground, the pain in his back and his heart intertwined, making it almost impossible for him to breathe. He couldn't understand why Lin Yan still refused to forgive him even though he had admitted his mistakes.
After crying for an unknown amount of time, he suddenly thought of Lin Mo. Grandpa Lin loved him the most. Every time he and Lin Yan quarreled, Grandpa Lin would stand by him. Yes, go find Grandpa Lin!
He stumbled to his feet, hurriedly put on his shoes, grabbed his coat from the sofa, and ran out. The pain in his back made him grimace with every step he took, but he didn't care. He just wanted to find Lin Mo and ask Grandpa Lin to help him persuade Lin Yan.
Lin Mo's wood carving shop was not far from the villa. Si Zhui ran over crying, with fine cold sweat oozing from his forehead and the clothes on his back soaked with sweat.
The door of the shop was ajar, and the rustling sound of planing wood could be heard from inside. Si Zhui pushed the door open and saw Lin Mo sitting at the workbench, wearing reading glasses, concentrating on planing a piece of wood.
"Grandpa Lin!" He cried out in a sobbing voice, his voice very hoarse.
Lin Mo looked up and was startled to see him like this. He quickly took off his glasses and said, "Hey, what happened? Si Zhui? Who bullied you?"
Si Zhui rushed over, hugged Lin Mo's arm, and burst into tears, his tears and snot rubbing against his sleeves: "Grandpa Lin... Lin Yan... he doesn't want me anymore... He beat me, ignored me, and... said he hated me..."
He spoke incoherently, pouring out all the grievances of last night, from the incident in the bar, to the pain of the ruler, to Lin Yan's indifference just now, and he burst into tears.
Lin Mo listened quietly, the smile on his face gradually disappearing, and his brow furrowed. He patted Si Zhui's back gently, sighing inwardly - these two children, one too stubborn, the other too sensitive. It seems that what happened last night was quite a big deal.
"Silly child, why are you crying?" After Si Zhui had cried enough, Lin Mo took out a handkerchief and wiped his face. "That brat Lin Yan is just angry with you, not that he really doesn't want you."
"It's true!" Si Zhui blushed anxiously. "He didn't even look at me just now, and he said... he said that the past was the past, and now is now..."
"He's just being stubborn." Lin Mo smiled, picked up a piece of malt sugar from the table, and stuffed it into Si Zhui's hand. "Have you forgotten? When he was a kid, he snatched a wood carving knife from you, and I beat him up. He was just like you, crying and saying he would never talk to me again. But didn't he secretly put my favorite osmanthus cake on my bedside table that night?"
Si Zhui pinched the malt sugar and stared at Lin Mo blankly, tears still falling, but not as fiercely as before.
"Lin Yan, this child, looks cold, but his heart is warm." Lin Mo sighed and said earnestly, "He punishes you because he's afraid you'll learn bad things; he ignores you because he's afraid you won't remember. Think about it, if he really didn't love you, why would he apply medicine to you in the middle of the night and stay up all night watching over you?"
Si Zhui was stunned: "He...he is guarding me?"
"Silly boy," Lin Mo ruffled his hair. "I just went to the villa to deliver wood, and I saw him standing at your door for a long time. The bloodshot under his eyes was almost falling out. He has the same personality as his father. He is obviously heartbroken, but he pretends to be cold."
Si Zhui squeezed the maltose, a complex wave of emotions suddenly welling up in his heart. It turned out... Lin Yan wasn't really ignoring him. It turned out... all those harsh words he said last night were just fake.
"Then... then why doesn't he hug me?" he asked in a low voice, a little aggrieved.
"If he hugs you, wouldn't the punishment be for nothing?" Lin Mo smiled and shook his head. "That brat wants you to remember this lesson, to know where to go and where not to go, and to learn to say 'no'."
Si Zhui lowered his head, looking at the maltose in his hand, and suddenly felt a little sweet in his mouth, but a little sour in his heart. He seemed to understand a little bit, Lin Yan's coldness was not because he didn't love him, but because he loved him too much. He loved him so much that he would rather suffer himself than let him learn his lesson.
"But... I still want him to pay attention to me..." He whispered, his eyes red again.
"I will." Lin Mo patted his shoulder. "When he calms down, he will definitely come to find you. But before that, you have to reflect on yourself first, understand?"
Si Zhui nodded vigorously, his tears finally stopping. He clutched the maltose, feeling a sudden sense of peace of mind.
The sunlight streamed in through the windows of the woodcarving shop, warming his face. He knew Lin Yan was still angry with him and might even give him a cold shoulder, but he wasn't afraid anymore. He knew that beneath that cold exterior, there lay a heart that loved him more than anyone else.
"Thank you, Grandpa Lin." Si Zhui stood up and bowed to Lin Mo.
"Go ahead, go back and have a good rest." Lin Mo smiled and waved his hand, "When that brat comes, I'll talk to him for you."
Si Zhui nodded, turned, and walked out. The pain in his back seemed to ease a little, and the grievance in his heart also dissipated a lot. He knew that there was still a hurdle between him and Lin Yan to overcome, but he had the patience and confidence to wait for Lin Yan to calm down and truly understand his feelings.
After all, they were going to grow up together and finish carving those pieces of wood together. What was this little awkwardness worth?
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