Chapter 196: Twenty-one years of peace of mind, a promise for the rest of life
Lin Yan sat by the French window in his study, fingertips tracing the number on his phone screen. The word "father" lay quietly in his address book, the call log stuck at six months ago—back then, he had just been giving a routine update on the company's progress, his tone as polite as if he were addressing a business partner.
He was twenty-one years old, and had always been more composed than his peers. He had taken over some of the company's affairs at fifteen, and received his university diploma at seventeen. He was used to being independent and rarely showed any weakness or dependence on his parents. But at this moment, his fingertips were slightly hot as he gripped the phone.
The moonlight from the window fell on the string of mahogany beads on his wrist, the red string gleaming from being rubbed. It was a gift from Sizhui, and he had kept it with him for three years. He remembered the boy's red eyes from crying, the way he'd held onto the recorder, the way he'd cried as he threw himself into his arms, "Brother Lin, don't go," and suddenly a clear thought came to him.
He dialed the number.
"Hello." Father Lin's calm voice came from the other end of the line, with a hint of surprise, "Why are you calling at this time?"
"Dad," Lin Yan took a deep breath, his voice calm but firm, "I have something I want to tell you and Mom."
"Well, go ahead."
"I want to get engaged to Sizhui."
There was silence on the other end of the line for a few seconds, and then Lin's father's voice came, with a hint of inquiry: "Have you thought it through?"
"I've made up my mind." Lin Yan looked at the starry sky outside the window, his tone extremely serious, "He will be nineteen next year, and I want to arrange an engagement first. When he reaches the legal age, we can get a marriage certificate."
"Why did you suddenly think of this?" Lin's father's voice softened. "Are you afraid he'll run away?"
"No." Lin Yan laughed, but a gentle ripple appeared in his eyes. "He lacks a sense of security. I want to reassure him. Let him know that I am not just saying it casually, I really want to spend my whole life with him."
Over the past three years, he'd watched Sizhui grow up little by little, watched him hide his dependence behind clumsy care, watched him panic at the slightest possibility of being "abandoned." He'd tried to comfort him with words, tried to prove his worth with companionship, but it always felt inadequate.
Perhaps, only this piece of paper and this promise announced to the world can truly make the little rabbit who always loves to daydream feel at ease.
"Your mother and I have seen how you've treated that child over the past few years." Father Lin's voice was tinged with a smile. "Now that you've made up your mind, go for it. Do you need us to come back and help you with it?"
"No, I want to prepare it myself." Lin Yan said, "I just want to tell you, as a report."
"You little brat, you're still trying to trick your dad." Father Lin scolded him with a smile, but his tone was full of indulgence. "As for the betrothal gift, follow the rules. Don't let the child suffer. As for the Lan family, I'll say hello to your Uncle Lan."
"Thank you, Dad."
After hanging up, Lin Yan called his mother again. Mother Lin was much more excited than his father. She spent a long while on the phone asking about Sizhui's preferences, saying she would personally choose an engagement ring for him. Finally, she reminded him, "Be sure to treat him well. Sizhui is such a good kid. Don't bully him."
"I understand, Mom." Lin Yan responded with a smile and hung up the phone. He suddenly felt very relieved.
He walked over to his desk, opened the drawer, and pulled out a small velvet box. Inside was the ring he had ordered a few days ago. It was a simple design, with only two small characters engraved on the inside of the band: "Si Zhui." His own ring, on the other hand, was engraved with "Lin Yan."
This wasn't a spur-of-the-moment decision. From the moment he saw Sizhui sleeping on his shoulder in New York three years ago, from the moment he blocked the knife for him, from the moment he cried and said, "You are all I have," he knew that this child would be his for the rest of his life.
What he wanted was not just temporary companionship, but a lifelong companionship; not just a verbal promise, but a bond recognized by both the law and the world. He wanted Si Zhui to know clearly that Lin Yan, from body to soul, belonged completely to him.
The moonlight outside the window grew brighter, shining through the glass onto the ring, refracting tiny glints of light. Lin Yan picked up the ring and gently slipped it onto his ring finger. The size was just right.
He imagined Sizhui's face when he saw the ring. Would he blush, cry again, or ask stupidly, "Is it really for me?" When he thought of those scenes, the corners of his mouth couldn't help but curl up.
"Wait a little longer, Sizhui." He whispered, as if he was making a promise to the air, or as if he was talking to himself, "Soon, I will make you completely mine."
The next morning, Si Zhui knocked on the study door as usual, holding a glass of warm milk in his hand: "Brother Lin, it's time for breakfast."
Lin Yan opened the door and looked at the boy's handsome profile. The tenderness in his eyes almost overflowed. He reached out and ruffled Si Zhui's hair. "Don't you have to go to school today?"
"I don't have classes this morning." Si Zhui raised his head, his eyes curved with a smile, "Brother Lin, how about we go to the wood carving exhibition today? Last time you said there was a new exhibition..."
"Okay." Lin Yan interrupted him and took his hand, the warmth from his palm coming through steadily, "But after the exhibition, I'll take you somewhere."
"Where are we going?" Sizhui asked curiously.
Lin Yan smiled without saying anything, but just held his hand tightly.
Some surprises are sweeter only when they are left until the end.
He couldn't wait to see what light would light up in Sizhui's eyes when he knew he was going to give him a home. It would surely be brighter than the Statue of Liberty in New York, and warmer than the sunshine in Central Park.
And he will spend his whole life guarding that light.
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