Chapter 42: Dream of an Old Friend
Late in the night, only the flickering candlelight lingered in the quiet room. Wei Wuxian slept restlessly, his brow furrowed, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. Lan Wangji sat beside him, his fingertips just touching his brow when he heard him whisper, "Mother, Father... don't go..."
He was trapped in a dream. It was a rainy night at a mass grave. His mother, Cangse Sanren, held him in her arms, blood seeping from her back, yet she still smiled and wiped his face. "Don't be afraid, Ah Xian. Mom will be back soon. Daddy is waiting for you. Be good, don't be afraid." He clutched his mother's sleeve tightly and saw the white jade hairpin on her temples glitter in the lightning, resembling the texture of the jade pendant.
"Mother, is your last name Jun?" he asked in his dream, but his mother's smile suddenly shattered, turning into a blood-red sky. He reached out to grab, but only grasped at nothing. The crisp sound of a broken jade pendant echoed in his ears, along with the whisper he had repeated countless times: "Our Ah Xian is a little master..."
"Mom!" Wei Wuxian suddenly opened his eyes, his chest heaving violently, and tears rolled down without warning, hitting the back of Lan Wangji's hand, the scorching temperature like a red-hot iron.
"I'm here." Lan Wangji immediately pulled the person into his arms, his voice softer than ever before. He slowly wiped away the person's tears, "Wei Ying is fine. It was just a dream. Don't be afraid."
Wei WuXian buried his head in the crook of his neck, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably like a wronged child. “I remember now… the last time she looked at me, she was apologizing to me… She knew she couldn’t come back…” He clutched at Lan WangJi’s collar, sobs leaking through his fingers. “That jade pendant must have been left by her… but I can’t even remember who she is, not even her last name…”
He had lived two lives, witnessed too many separations and deaths, and had long since learned to hide his pain. But faced with these belated fragments of memory, and with the mother who hadn't even been able to tell her son her last name, all his toughness crumbled in an instant.
Lan Wangji's heart felt like it was being gripped, aching intensely. He tightened his arms, letting Wei Wuxian lean closer to him. His other hand gently stroked his back, from his neck to the ends of his hair, soothing him over and over again. He was not good with words, so he could only use the most clumsy way to pass on his warmth and strength to him, bit by bit.
"It's not your fault." Lan Wangji's voice was close to his head, with unquestionable certainty, "If she saw that you were safe now, she would definitely not blame you."
Wei Wuxian cried for a long time, until his voice was hoarse and his tears soaked Lan Wangji's clothes, and then he gradually calmed down. He raised his red eyes, his nose still sniffling: "Lan Zhan, am I really useless? I can't even remember my own mother."
Lan Wangji lowered his head and gently wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes with his fingertips, his movements as gentle as if he were handling a fragile treasure. "No." He paused and added, "I also... can't remember what my mother looks like."
Wei Wuxian was stunned. He had never heard Lan Wangji mention Madam Lan before. He only knew that the late mistress was a gentle woman. And he had heard that...
"When I was little, I always thought that not remembering was unfilial." Lan Wangji looked at the candlelight, his eyes distant. "Later, I realized that remembering her kindness and living a good life are what she wanted to see."
Wei Wuxian stared at him blankly, his heart suddenly brightening. He reached out and hugged Lan Wangji's waist, burying his face in his chest. "Lan Zhan, it's so good to have you. You must always be with me and Sizhui."
Lan Wangji said nothing, simply hugged him tighter. The moonlight from the window filtered through the bamboo curtains, casting a soft halo over their intertwined figures. The quiet room was silent, with only the sound of their breathing, slowly interweaving like a silent requiem.
Sizhui had actually woken up long before, on the couch in the corner. He didn't dare make a sound, listening to his father's cries and whispers, quietly clenching the wooden kite in his hands. It turned out that his all-powerful father could also be vulnerable at times; it turned out that his father, as steady as a mountain, could also have such a gentle side.
He thought of the mysterious jade pendant from the day before, and suddenly felt that no matter what secrets were hidden within it, as long as his father and his father were together, they would always be able to face it. Just like his father had said, remembering the good and living well was the best way to pay tribute to the deceased.
As dawn approached, Wei Wuxian finally fell asleep in Lan Wangji's arms, a faint smile on his face, perhaps dreaming of something heartwarming. Lan Wangji, with eyes wide open after a night of sleep, gazed at his tear-stained face and lowered his head to place a soft kiss on his forehead.
No matter how much trouble Jun's past has hidden, he will accompany him and slowly get it back bit by bit, as long as Aying is happy!
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