Chapter 28 [VIP]
But when Chenmian looked up at him with those slightly ingratiating eyes, when Chenmian snuggled close to him and murmured "brother"...
Shen Jinshan's heart, which was disciplined by reason and worldly norms, would always groan under the unbearable pressure of these unguarded intimate encounters, and his bottom line would retreat again and again.
He had to admit that he was addicted to it.
Especially after he fell into the water while in a deep sleep, the boy's dependence on him deepened day by day during his illness.
That almost complete trust and need that overshadowed everyone in the family, even Shen Ci, who was always closer to Shen Mian, secretly satisfied his desire for control and his sense of superiority, allowing a sense of pride to grow deep within him—
This dodder plant, dormant for so long, needs him most now.
But reason clearly told him that these dormant emotions were perverse, abnormal, chaotic, and shameful.
How shameless must a person be to be able to openly admit to having inappropriate thoughts about the younger brother they watched grow up?
Besides, he had always looked down on Chenmian, hadn't he? He always despised the emptiness beneath that person's skin, which was completely transparent.
He also knew that beneath Chenmian's beautiful exterior lay a rotten core, and that Chenmian's motives for all her feelings toward him were not pure.
If his heart were to leap again simply because of his instinct to grab onto a piece of driftwood while he was dormant in his predicament, and he were to deceive himself into believing that what he felt for Shenmian was merely the love of an older brother for his younger brother, wouldn't that be too ridiculous?
That's it.
He told himself that he had never liked being asleep anyway, so if he were to fall for someone just because of their brief stay and reliance on him, wouldn't that affection be too cheap? And how ironic it would seem to show the contempt that had been ingrained in his heart for years?
And after falling in love, is it worth it for him to tear away the disguise he's maintained for so many years? Is it worth paying a worldly price for him?
He should be considered a successful person in the mainstream sense of the world, a superior person.
It is utterly absurd to have a romantic relationship with a man, especially one who was once her brother.
Moreover... these are merely his wishful thinking. Does Chenmian even know about his terrifying and filthy thoughts?
Shen Jinshan was insignificant to Chen Mian. What Chen Mian cared about was his status as the eldest son of the Shen family.
Shen Jinshan thought he had seen through it all. But hesitation always tore at him.
Not long ago, he could still deceive himself into thinking that his feelings hadn't faded, but lately he's been getting along so well with Shen Mian.
Shen Jinshan suspected that he would inadvertently and completely change his feelings for Shen Mian.
Therefore, he should distance himself from the culprit who caused his current situation and troubles.
At the highest level of reason, that tiny possibility is far too insignificant and utterly unworthy of mention.
Even though he had indeed been genuinely fascinated, troubled, and anxious about this physical body, and about this parasitic plant that now depended on him.
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Chen Mian had no idea what kind of complex emotions Chen Jinshan was going through.
All he knew was that after this incident, Shen Jinshan seemed even busier, replying to messages more slowly than before, and his replies were only a few words long, as if he could glimpse Shen Jinshan's cold and indifferent face through the screen.
This is how Shen Jinshan treats outsiders, just like he treats his assistants, drivers, and subordinates. How can you treat him like this?
Putting down his phone, the young man frowned at himself in the mirror. The person in the mirror had delicate features, and even the slight furrowing of his brows when he was confused had a kind of pitiful beauty.
How pitiful! He looks so haggard now, like a resentful woman who can't get her husband's love.
Shen Mian was startled by her own association, and then felt aggrieved. How was Shen Jinshan's treatment of her any different from a sudden breakup?
Feeling lost and confused, I couldn't understand why I was suddenly being treated so coldly.
Wasn't it obvious enough that he did it?
However, Chenmian felt that he had already tried his best. From childhood to adulthood, he had never tried so hard to please anyone.
Even during that period of feigned friendship with Lin Langli, he had never put in such effort to cultivate the relationship.
What Lin Langli took more of in the later stages was actually his demands.
Or is it that Shen Jinshan simply doesn't care about his little schemes?
Or perhaps an even more terrifying possibility is that Shen Jinshan has sensed his thoughts but is avoiding them? Is the current cold treatment a way of giving him face?
This uncertainty made Chenmian anxious and uneasy. He even found himself lacking the energy to deal with Lin Langli lately. On a few occasions when he was careless and Lin Langli ran into him, Chenmian didn't pay much attention to the other man's unpredictable expression.
The night after Shen Jinshan left, Lin Langli forced him to sit on the sofa, pinched his chin and asked, "Are you happy to use your money to buy things for other men?"
Sleeping soundly, too weak to argue, she just stared at the ceiling and sighed.
This was nothing like what he had imagined.
In his imagination, Shen Jinshan should be deeply moved, and then the two of them would become brothers and lovers, making Lin Langli, who was standing by, die of anger. With more confidence from Shen Jinshan, he would no longer be at a disadvantage when facing Lin Langli.
But now? Chenmian still can't figure out which link in the chain went wrong.
While Shen Mian was still trying to figure it out, the weather in City A rained for several days in a row, and then the temperature became colder and colder. Time slipped to December, when you could clearly see the time with every breath.
On Friday afternoon, Chenmian invited Chenci over, planning to go out together that evening to check out and take photos at the nearest trendy restaurant.
With half an hour to go before the other party arrived, Chenmian carried the little bread to the media room to pass the time watching a movie, but she couldn't concentrate at all, and would check her phone every now and then to see if there was a reply from Shen Jinshan.
No. The screen glowed a faint green, and Chenmian felt like a clown.
They had been chatting quite a bit for a while, but lately, apart from responding promptly to his requests for pocket money, Shen Jinshan has been very cold towards him.
Is Shen Jinshan giving him the silent treatment? Is he really that busy? Shen Mian doesn't believe it.
After Shen Jinshan returned that time, he was depressed for several days, repeatedly recalling Shen Jinshan's reaction that day. But no matter how he tried to beautify it, he could not fool himself.
The other party's nonchalant words when accepting the gift, and the scene where they then left him aside and talked to Lin Langli instead.
The more Shen Mian thought about it, the more wronged she felt. How could Shen Jinshan treat him like that?
Shen Ci realized something was wrong that afternoon.
He had his fingerprints recorded at Shen Mian's home, but when he entered, he only saw Lin Langli watering the plants in the living room. Lin Langli's calm and relaxed demeanor made Shen Ci feel resentful. If it weren't for Lin Langli's sudden intervention, he would be the one living with Shen Mian now.
Upon entering, the two didn't greet each other, only exchanging glances. Shen Ci asked where Chen Mian was, to which the other only chuckled lightly, his tone laced with sarcasm: "He's heartbroken and is crying in the media room with his cat."
Shen Ci didn't believe it at all; the words "sleepless nights" and "crying from heartbreak" had absolutely nothing to do with each other. But these words still felt like a thorn, making him very uncomfortable.
Too lazy to talk to Lin Langli, Shen Ci coldly said "Stop talking nonsense" and went to the audio-visual room.
He pushed open the door and deliberately made some noise, causing the cat in his arms to look up and meow at him. However, the owner was distracted and didn't even notice him coming in.
His empty expression actually reflected the meaning behind Lin Langli's words; he looked a bit like someone who had just lost love, with droopy eyebrows and a pitiful, wrinkled look.
Shen Ci walked forward with a cold face, picked up the cat and threw it onto the sofa. In the shock of Shen Mian's finally reacting expression, he picked up the boy on the sofa and weighed him, feeling that Shen Mian seemed to have lost a little weight.
How did Lin Langli take care of her? Didn't he say to his father that he would treat her well?
He couldn't help but feel resentful, holding onto Chenmian tightly.
The boy in her arms felt a little embarrassed and gently pushed her away twice: "What's wrong with you? Let go of me, you're acting so strange."
Shen Ci scrutinized Shen Mian's face, looking at her pitiful expression, so much like... If Shen Mian really had someone she liked, would he still be the one with the best relationship with Shen Mian?
From childhood to adulthood, he has been used to having a chattering person by his side, and everyone says that the two of them are the closest people in their lives.
But first, Lin Langli came back, and Shen Mian kept arguing with him and being sad. Now he vaguely felt that there was something between him and Shen Mian.
Shen Ci didn't say anything, and tossed Chen Mian onto the sofa: "Do you want to change your clothes? I'll wait for you."
"I'm not changing." Shen Mian was not interested and didn't even feel like dressing up. She only called Shen Ci out this time to find someone to relieve her boredom. The more important purpose was to take pictures and post them on her WeChat Moments for Shen Jinshan to see.
Unfortunately, Shen Ci did not understand his troubles.
Lin Langli, who knew about his troubles, was someone he absolutely could not discuss this issue with.
After being interrogated that day, Chenmian was in a daze and didn't even notice the expression on Lin Langli's face at the end.
The restaurant where Chenmian wanted to take photos was a Japanese restaurant in the city center. After asking the waiter to park the car, Chen Ci took the initiative to hold Chenmian's hand, who was looking down at her phone, and was in a very unhappy mood.
The chef was quite talkative tonight. He tried to talk to Chenmian several times, but he couldn't because of the other people present.
Finally, after the head chef left, Shen Ci looked at Shen Mian and, noticing that the boy was checking his phone again, asked in a low voice, "What's wrong with you? You've been listless the whole way, looking like you're lovesick. Did Lin Langli do something to you again?"
I tried to sneak in a personal comment to get information out of him, but I doubt it. A self-centered little rascal like Chenmian wouldn't do something like being troubled by love.
Shen Ci kept a straight face, almost holding his breath as he waited for Shen Mian's answer.
The boy being questioned was taken aback, his almond-shaped eyes widening slightly, revealing a hint of confusion.
"Lovesickness?" He repeated the word unconsciously, muttering, "Could it be that I really like...?"
As he spoke, he fell into thought again, biting his knuckles repeatedly until small teeth marks appeared on them.
Shen Ci didn't hear the last name, but Shen Mian's almost tacit response struck him like a thunderbolt, leaving him in disbelief.
A mixture of shock, anger, and an unexpected, bittersweet feeling of grievance welled up inside him, making him dizzy and even causing his vision to blur.
Suppressing her unease, Shen Ci forced herself to remain calm, reached out and removed Shen Mian's bitten, reddened finger, and casually asked, "Who was it?"
Chenmian was startled and only then realized that she had actually spoken out loud.
"N-no, nothing." The boy's eyes flickered, avoiding Shen Ci's sharp gaze. "What are you talking about?"
Seeing that Shen Ci remained unmoved, Shen Mian tried to get away with her usual coquettishness, reaching out to tug at the sleeve of the person in front of her, putting on an innocent look: "Shen Ci, why have you been so busy lately? I can't even find you to come out."
"Also?" Sensing the word, Shen Ci stared at Shen Mian for a few seconds, not missing any subtle changes in the other's expression, and finally asked the question that had been terrifying him since evening: "Haven't you been hanging around your older brother lately? Who else is there?"
Shenmian's heart skipped a beat, but she tried her best not to show anything unusual: "Nobody's here. Besides, it's my older brother who's good to me. What's wrong with me looking for him more often? What do you mean by 'revolving around him'? Don't you always tell me to be more sensible and not bother you all the time?"
He paused, then calmed down a bit: "As for others, you know how strict Lin Langli is with me, how could I possibly have the chance to get along with others?"
Who is that? Shen Ci's brows furrowed even deeper.
He had witnessed Shen Jinshan's dependence on Chenmian during this period, and he was already quite resentful, even to the point of being somewhat jealous.
Recently, the relationship between Shen Mian and Shen Jinshan seems to have changed, becoming increasingly clingy, with their intimacy almost overshadowing his. Especially since not long ago, Shen Mian secretly inquired about his elder brother's likes and dislikes.
The conflict between Chen Mian and Shen Jinshan had already made him very unhappy, and now another person had suddenly appeared?
Shen Ci let out a heavy sigh. He couldn't bear to see Shen Mian racking her brains for others like this, nor did he want Shen Mian to become sad.
“Sleepless,” Shen Ci’s voice deepened as he stared intently into the boy’s eyes, “Tell me honestly, who are you thinking about? Why are you constantly checking your phone? Who are you waiting for to reply to your message?”
"Nobody said that!" Chen Mian's eyes darted away, and she started to whine again, "Chen Ci, please stop asking, okay..."
Even if one remains silent, no amount of words can elicit an answer.
The meal was utterly unappetizing. After finishing, Shen Ci drove Shen Mian home with a stern face. He didn't initiate conversation with the boy the whole way, trying to soften Shen Mian's stance through a fit of pique, but Shen Mian didn't respond. It wasn't until Shen Mian nonchalantly unbuckled his seatbelt to get out of the car that he couldn't help but slam his fist on the steering wheel, and the horn blared shrilly.
Chenmian looked back at him, her eyes filled with confusion.
Shen Ci didn't look at him, stepped on the gas, and the car quickly disappeared into the night.
Chenmian remained where he was, the wind ruffling his hair. As he watched the car disappear, he suddenly felt a strong urge to return to the space where Lin Langli was.
Why don't we go find Shen Jinshan and ask him?
As soon as the idea came to mind, Chenmian felt it was feasible.
Then it's better not to go up. Chen Mian called a car and slowly walked out. He didn't notify Chen Jinshan in advance. After all, he left his fingerprints when he went there before, so it shouldn't matter.
It was almost ten o'clock when they arrived at Shen Jinshan's residence. The boy went into his usual room with practiced ease, took a fragrant shower, and changed into the pajamas he had left there last time.
Shen Jinshan hasn't returned yet. He texted the man's assistant to ask, but the assistant only said he was socializing.
Chen Mian waited patiently, his heart pounding uncontrollably. After a while, he texted his assistant again, saying he had arrived at Shen Jinshan's place. This time, the reply took even longer: "Okay, Mr. Chen understands."
Chen Mian stared blankly at the message, wondering what Shen Jinshan thought about knowing he had come, and before he knew it, he had fallen asleep.
He was startled awake by his phone vibrating. It was a call from Shen Jinshan's driver, saying that President Shen had drunk too much at a business dinner and asking if it would be convenient for Shen Mian to come down and pick him up.
Instantly, all sleepiness vanished. Chenmian practically scrambled out of bed, hastily threw on a coat, and rushed out.
The night in early December was chilly, and he got goosebumps while sleeping in the elevator. But as he tidied his hair in front of the gleaming elevator car, he thought that his thin clothes were just right. He looked a little pitiful, but also a little pretty. He thought that Shen Jinshan would soften his heart if he saw him like this.
Unfortunately, Shen Jinshan was too drunk, and his little trick of concealing his presence went unnoticed.
When they arrived downstairs, they saw the back door of the van half open, with Shen Jinshan leaning against the back seat, the night wind blowing his slightly messy hair.
The man had his eyes closed, his brows slightly furrowed. His usually impeccably tailored shirt was now unbuttoned at the collar, revealing his beautifully sculpted collarbone and a small patch of skin. In the darkness of the night and the dim light inside the car, he exuded a rare air of languor.
Chen Mian's gaze was fixed on him; he had never seen Shen Jinshan like this before.
In his eyes, his elder brother had always been a dignified and noble figure. Even during the time they lived together, Shen Jinshan always exuded elegance and poise, never appearing so relaxed.
The driver helped the employer up on the other side, and together with Shen Mian, they took Shen Jinshan back.
The two were so close that Shen Mian could clearly smell the alcohol mixed with the base notes of perfume on Shen Jinshan's body. It wasn't unpleasant; on the contrary, it had a unique, intoxicating aura of a mature man.
After settling Shen Jinshan on the sofa in the living room, Shen Mian turned around and went to the refrigerator to get a bottle of soda water. She unscrewed the cap and held it to Shen Jinshan's lips: "Brother, have some water."
Shen Jinshan closed his eyes and obediently lowered his head. He held the water bottle a little too high. The moment Shen Jinshan lowered his head, Shen Mian felt a warm touch on her fingertips.
At first glance, it looked just like Shen Jinshan kissing his fingertip.
Watching Shen Jinshan's Adam's apple bob as he drank water, Shen Mian suddenly felt a surge of pride. It turned out that even someone as capable as Shen Jinshan had times when he needed him.
Isn't this the kind of "mutual support" he imagined? He can do it very well too.
After drinking some water, Chen Mian went to the bathroom and wrung out a hot towel. She gently wiped Chen Jinshan's forehead, cheeks, and neck.
In this position, he inevitably smelled the mixed scent of perfume and alcohol on the man again. Shen Mian felt that he must really like Shen Jinshan, otherwise why did he feel that Lin Langli smelled bad when he was near him that day, but now that he was next to Shen Jinshan, he felt particularly at ease.
The warmth of the towel soothed Shen Jinshan's skin, and the man let out a soft hum, seemingly enjoying the tranquil care.
As Chenmian wiped his neck, he suddenly raised his hand and gently covered the back of Chenmian's hand holding the towel.
Shen Mian froze, his movements halting instantly. Shen Jinshan's palm was burning hot, still warm from the alcohol, completely enveloping the cool back of his hand. That heat, like an electric current, instantly coursed through Shen Mian's limbs.
"Mianmian?" Shen Jinshan's voice was hoarse, filled with weariness, yet also seemed to contain some indescribable emotion. The man didn't open his eyes, but gently held Shenmian's hand, his thumb unconsciously rubbing the back of his hand.
This slight caress almost suffocated Shenmian. He held his breath, motionless, feeling as if the small patch of skin held by Shen Jinshan was burning up.
Shen Mian was unusually shy. Shen Jinshan knew it was him when he called his name and was still so affectionate. The cold treatment he received a while ago was indeed a misunderstanding.
Time seemed to stand still at that moment. Chen Mian could hear her own heart pounding and Shen Jinshan's heavy breathing.
The boy mustered his courage and looked up to carefully observe Shen Jinshan's face, which was so close to his. Gone was his usual coldness; Shen Jinshan seemed exceptionally real at that moment.
A strong urge welled up inside her, and she almost wanted to lean in and kiss him.
But he still didn't dare. After staring for a while, he couldn't help but reveal a silly smile.
The person on the sofa slightly opened their eyes, squinting and looking at the boy in front of them with a confused expression.
"Mianmian?" Shen Jinshan asked again.
Chenmian nodded quickly: "Yes, brother, it's me, it's me."
Chen Mian waited patiently for a while, but Shen Jinshan did not move.
She probably wants to say something to him.
After waiting patiently for another minute, it still didn't move.
Chenmian was a little angry. She pulled her hand back in annoyance and turned around to change the hot towel.
But the moment he pulled away, the man on the sofa propped himself up, stretched out his arm, and hooked the young man who was about to leave.
Startled by the movement, Chenmian lost her footing and ended up sitting on Chen Jinshan's lap.
The person beneath him chuckled softly. Chen Mian quickly tried to get up, but Chen Jinshan wrapped his other arm around him, locking him in his embrace.
Chen Mian's heart skipped a beat, and she turned her head, trying to see Chen Jinshan's expression clearly.
But the floor lamp next to the sofa was turned off, and the whole room was suddenly dark, with only a sparse glimmer of starlight coming in from the window.
There was no moon tonight, and Chenmian could only watch it with difficulty. He softly called out Chen Jinshan's name and then called out "Brother".
Shen Jinshan ignored him. The man placed his face on the young man's frail neck, and Shen Mian heard the other man's deep and hoarse voice: "Mianmian, why are you here again?"
Shen Mian was furious when she heard the second half of the man's sentence. Did Shen Jinshan despise her? Well, he really was drunk and spoke the truth.
The previous sweet affection vanished in an instant, and Shen Mian was filled with anger. She began to forcefully pry open Shen Jinshan's arm, trying to break free.
Shen Jinshan pulled him even tighter, and Shen Mian felt the person behind him sniffing at him as if searching for food.
"Chen Jinshan, let me go!" Chen Mian was angry and didn't even call him her brother anymore.
Upon hearing this, Shen Jinshan naturally did not loosen his grip. Instead, he moved one hand down, cupped the young man's knees, and pulled Shen Mian firmly into his arms.
Chenmian felt very uncomfortable in this position, almost like a baby being held.
But during the struggle, he heard Shen Jinshan whispering in his ear.
"Mianmian, you naughty child who likes to seduce your brother."
After speaking, the man pressed his lips against the sleepy man's earlobe and touched it intimately.
These words left Shen Mian's mind blank; she couldn't believe that Shen Jinshan had actually discovered it.
Before he could even be shocked by those words, the mature man's aura pressed down on him, his dormant eyes widened, and he felt his lips being covered by the scent of alcohol.
Shen Jinshan's kissing technique was terrible. Shen Mian was held and encircled like this, completely powerless to resist. She felt that this was not a kiss at all, but rather like her mouth was being bitten.
He was so dizzy from the kisses that he felt like he was suffocating, but he couldn't feel the same pleasure he had when he kissed Lin Langli last time. Instead, he felt embarrassed, his breathing was disordered, and his mind was in a terrible state. He felt like he was about to drool.
He felt dizzy and lightheaded, and with no support, he could only lean on Shen Jinshan's arm, limp and powerless.
Shenmian couldn't help but move around, raising his legs as if to kick someone, but in the interval between kisses, Shen Jinshan skillfully touched Shenmian's ankles with his other hand, took off his shoes, and then held Shenmian's two feet in his hands and rubbed them.
Shen Jinshan's hands were large and extremely hot. Shen Mian's feet were encircled, and the soles of her feet were being touched until they were itchy. She felt uncomfortable both above and below her feet and began to push him away with moaning sounds.
Shen Jinshan easily subdued him, his lips parted slightly, and Shen Mian caught his breath a little, but before he could catch his breath, Shen Jinshan pulled him tighter again, his lips pressed against his eyelids, then meandered downwards, touching the young man's cheeks, the corners of his lips, and finally his earlobe.
Shen Jinshan lingered near his earlobe and breathed softly. Shen Mian froze, as if a switch had been flipped, and remained motionless.
She felt the man encircling her was burning hot all over, and Shen Mian was about to faint from fright. Suddenly, she heard Shen Jinshan say in distress, "What should I do, Mianmian? You naughty child, your brother is already failing, and now you've made him like this again..."
Despite her feigned distress, she didn't slow down her actions at all. The man pinched her chin, squeezing and releasing it as if measuring her, while her lips frequently landed on his face, densely layering down, kissing every inch of his face.
Chen Mian felt Shen Jinshan's infatuation with him, his cheeks flushed and his head spun—he was really about to faint.
A note from the author:
After this chapter, the next one will be a confession, hehe. I hate writing transitional chapters the most. It's like this when I'm writing about vinegar and dumplings—I don't want to make dumplings, I just want to write about vinegar, lol.
In this chapter, Mianmian's love-struck mind is a little humble, but it won't be so frustrating later on. It's almost the end of the month, do you guys have any extra nutrient solution? o3o
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