Chapter 144 Main World 3 Why reject him if you love him?
Jian Ziyan's phone page was still open to the news. Even through the screen, he could feel the cold and sharp light emanating from the black eyes on that familiar face.
He is very familiar with this face and this voice. In the cyber world where plastic surgery can also change the voice, these are all created by him.
And now, this face and this voice appeared where they should least appear.
Jian Ziyan maintained a stiff posture and slowly, slowly moved his Adam's apple.
"Xiaojiu." He said dryly in his mind, "Is it what I thought?"
"I'm sorry to tell you... yes." 419 had just recovered from the shock, "Host, it's Qin Wang. Not only is he really your fellow villager, but I bet he didn't lose his memory again."
Jian Ziyan stood there motionless.
"But maybe this is a good thing?" 419 was not sure, but said hopefully, "You've been through so much. I originally thought it would be too hard for you to remember everything by yourself... Now there's someone who remembers what you did. Maybe it's a good thing for you."
There was one thing that Jian Ziyan had never mentioned, so it just watched.
With such a powerful golden finger that can rewrite facts and causes, how could the tasker not pay any price?
For every plot that is rewritten in the small world, Jian Ziyan must completely experience the past that he has rewritten. Otherwise, how can he accurately face all unexpected situations without being exposed based on just the few words he has rewritten?
It's just that this experience was compressed into a very short period of time, and it didn't even take up the time of the small world. Jian Ziyan had experienced it, and with the help of world consciousness, he could easily put himself into the role.
He can block out the pain, but the emotional marks left by everything he has experienced are unavoidable.
The reason why 419 really thinks Jian Ziyan is amazing is not only because he can get forgiveness points, but more because he can even block his own emotions for the sake of his goals. He is cruel to those who hurt him, and even crueler to himself.
This is the real reason why it accepts this host who sometimes seems to deserve a beating.
It had accompanied Jian Ziyan all the way, and it felt very distressed when it saw that he was having such a hard time living in his own main world. Now it saw Qin Wang, who knew a little about what Jian Ziyan had done and had no bad intentions, appear. If it had eyes, its eyes would surely be filled with stars.
"This is your real fellow countryman, host!" 419 couldn't control his excitement and said, "Even before, even if the probability had increased to 99.9%, we couldn't confirm that Qin Wang was really your fellow countryman. Now we can finally confirm it!"
"Although he is my fellow countryman, it doesn't mean I really want to meet him in this world." Jian Ziyan's eyes were distracted. "Jiu, is it too late for me to ask you to block my memory now?"
"......?" 419 asked sincerely, "Aren't you afraid of being discovered by the world consciousness?"
A vein popped out on Jian Ziyan's forehead.
The communication between consciousnesses was very rapid. Although the two spoke a lot, in reality, only a few seconds had passed.
The voice behind him seemed calmer: "I was worried before, what if you don't remember me?
Would it scare you if I went crazy right then and there? Now it seems better than I expected, you still remember me."
He used an affirmative tone.
It's over.
Jian Ziyan lamented in his heart that without the assistance of world consciousness, his acting skills were really not that good.
He couldn't see that behind him, Qin Wang's gaze almost pierced through him, but was hiding a cautious madness.
Qin Wang stared at the slender figure in front of him, his head buzzing, countless intense emotions colliding in his heart, he could hardly control his desire to move forward.
He wanted to hug this body, wanted to kiss his eyes, his lips, and all the places he could touch. He wanted to hold him with all his strength and integrate him into his bones and blood.
He was frightened, panic-stricken, and worried about gains and losses, but he tried his best to suppress all the emotions that suddenly erupted in his heart, as if he had cut off the head of the beast in his heart with his own hands.
Even though every cell in his body was screaming with pain and desire, he still stood firmly in place and spoke in a pleading tone.
"If you still remember me, just look back at me, okay?"
Jian Ziyan's shoulders trembled.
A fierce struggle was revealed under his drooping eyelashes.
To put it bluntly, he and Qin Wang did not have any deep hatred. If Qin Wang had not confessed to him, he would even have greeted him with a smile.
But Qin Wang likes him, or rather, he likes Ling.
Without the cover of his small world identity and without those things to pave the way, can he really face him and this relationship?
Seeing that he didn't respond for a long time, Qin Wang's breathing trembled and his voice became hoarse.
"Ziyan..."
After calling out his name, Jian Ziyan finally couldn't help it and slowly turned around.
Qin Wang was just a few steps away from him, staring at him quietly.
He watched Jian Ziyan turn around. The slender young man happened to be standing under a paulownia tree. The moment he turned around, wind blew, and the fluttering paulownia leaves fell down, brushing against his delicate and handsome eyebrows, landing on his shoulders, and then lingeringly scattered to the ground.
Even though Qin Wang tried his best to endure it, his eyes gradually turned red.
It turns out that this is what love really looks like.
In the last world, they faced each other in their truest form, but could not touch each other.
And now, if he took a few steps forward, he could actually touch him.
Qin Wang looked at Jian Ziyan for a long time, and suddenly smiled slightly.
As he laughed, a tear rolled down from his eyes and merged into the autumn wind.
Before he saw her, he longed to see her, and now that he has seen her, he longs to touch her.
Once he touched it, he knew he wouldn't be able to help but want more.
"You..." Jian Ziyan found that his voice was a little hoarse, and paused before saying, "...you are back too."
Very stupid opening line, very useless greeting.
But there was a light in Qin Wang's eyes, as if he had been redeemed.
"Yes, I'm back too." Qin Wang took a cautious step forward, shortening the distance between them, and observed whether Jian Ziyan had any intention of retreating.
Jian Ziyan did not move. He looked at Qin Wang with complicated eyes: "You shouldn't have come back."
Qin Wang should be a tasker in a separate world, or he should be the protagonist, playing such an important role. In any case, he should not leave the small world so quickly.
After all, there is only one way to escape from the small world, and that is physical death.
Jian Ziyan now finally remembered why he felt familiar with the name Qin Wang. The reputation of Qin Enterprise was well-known in his world. He had just seen the news that Qin Wang had been in a car accident before he traveled through time.
Qin's Enterprise, it turns out to be this Qin's Enterprise.
Those who go on missions to a separate world often never return, so under normal circumstances, Qin Wang should have been a dead person in this world.
He observed Qin Wang. The real Qin Wang was taller than Gu Bai. He wore a high-necked sweater with a well-tailored long windbreaker over it, which made his shoulders broad and waist narrow, giving him a great figure.
"Why shouldn't I come back? I missed you."
Qin Wang took two steps closer, and the distance between them was already very close. He lowered his head, as if he could kiss Jian Ziyan's forehead if he leaned over.
"You said you would wait for me on the Yellow Spring Road. Now I'm here to find you. Do you regret it?"
Jian Ziyan finally felt the distance between them. He moved his lips but still did not step back.
He raised his clear eyes and met Qin Wang's slightly red eyes.
"I can understand your feelings for me in that world, because I am very powerful in that world and I can protect you, but I am no longer Zero, Qin Wang, and this is not the underworld." Jian Ziyan said, "In our world, I am just an ordinary person among the countless living beings. There is no difference between me and other people. You love Zero, but you may not love me."
After a few minutes of mental struggle, he decided to talk about everything.
Although he has a somewhat awkward personality, he doesn't want to drag others down or waste their time.
There were ripples in Qin Wang's eyes.
"Zi Yan, do you think I fell in love with you because you are so strong?" he said, "Do you think that if we both become ordinary people in this world, I will no longer love you?"
Jian Ziyan didn't say anything.
People can easily fall in love with each other in two situations: one is when they have experienced a crisis together, and the other is when they have received unreserved protection.
And in that world, Zero did both.
He was not surprised that Qin Wang fell in love with Ling, but now he was no longer Ling. Just because he loved Ling did not mean he would also love an ordinary Jian Ziyan.
Jian Ziyan thought about these things rationally, but he couldn't suppress the bitterness that welled up in his heart.
After experiencing so many worlds, Qin Wang is the only person he has ever truly loved. Because of their status as a fellow villager, he cannot simply regard him as a paper man in a story. Once he starts to treat someone specially, his feelings are no longer under his control.
How could he not like Qin Wang? Qin Wang was excellent, strong, determined, and kind. After wandering through eight worlds, this was the only person who had ever given him the familiar warmth.
But this love should stop in the previous world.
Qin Wang suddenly read a hint of almost resolute rejection in his eyes, and his expression suddenly changed.
Just now he felt a little sad and a little relieved, because Jian Ziyan seemed not to know his identity and thought he was just Qin Wang in the last world. He didn't remember the harm he had caused him in the past, which gave him a despicable opportunity, but then he understood Jian Ziyan's thoughts and he panicked.
He and Jian Ziyan have been together for more than just that short lifetime. They have been entangled together for nine whole worlds. He knows Jian Ziyan too well.
Every time Jian Ziyan makes a decision, he will show this look.
"Zi Yan, you are not me, don't rush to make a decision for me, okay?" Qin Wang stretched out his hand tentatively, but was avoided by Jian Zi Yan. His breathing quickened for a moment, but he did not retreat, but moved closer, and then held Jian Zi Yan's hand tightly, "Zi Yan, as you said, you are no longer zero now, don't put logic and reason over feelings, look into my eyes, feel my heartbeat, how can you think I don't love you?"
Jian Ziyan lowered his eyes, his long eyelashes trembling slightly, but he did not respond to Qin Wang's words.
Qin Wang held Jian Ziyan's hand tightly with enough force to almost break each other's hand bones, but neither of them seemed to feel any pain.
"Look at me!" He placed Jian Ziyan's hand on his heart. His thunderous heartbeat could be clearly heard even through the clothes. "Jian Ziyan, you said you loved me. I don't believe you were lying to me."
These words hurt Jian Ziyan.
"That's enough." He tried hard to pull his hand free. "Qin Wang, you just woke up and there are still many things to do. Soon you will realize what you should really care about..."
"You are the one I care about the most." Qin Wang said without hesitation, "The reason why I can open my eyes again in this world is because of you. Do you think that in my heart, there is anything more important than you? After you died, I didn't want to live anymore. It was you who tied me to that world with responsibility, and you left without a trace, leaving me without wanting to live but not daring to die. Jian Ziyan, do you really know how cruel you have done to me? When I was desperate, you didn't let me die. When I finally dared to die, you left me a last word saying that you loved me..."④
Qin Wang's voice trembled, and tears fell on their clasped hands. Qin Wang seemed unaware and looked straight at Jian Ziyan.
"Are you lying to me? Are you kidding me? Otherwise, why would you want to run away when I really found you?"
Jian Ziyan didn't move. He looked at the tears dripping from his fingers that were clenched until they turned white, and his eyes gradually became hot.
"Just think of it as me lying to you."
Under Qin Wang's incredulous gaze, he smiled lightly, and then took advantage of the other party's shock to successfully pull his hand out.
"Qin Wang, if we met under normal circumstances, you wouldn't fall in love with me, and I wouldn't fall in love with you. Our worlds are too different, and we shouldn't even have any intersection." He said lightly, "But because of an accident, we met in a bizarre world. At that time, you were not you, and I was not me. We were just playing our own roles, just like actors in a play. No matter how touching the plot is, it should not be brought into real life."
Qin Wang stared at him in a daze, unable to believe what he said.
"You think our relationship... is just acting?" He said in a hoarse voice, "Jian Ziyan, do you really think that the life and death we have experienced can be summarized by a simple accident?"
Jian Ziyan took a step back.
"You're probably still not fully awake. Go back and calm down for a few days." He still lowered his eyes. "When you regain your sanity, you won't say such things again."
After saying that, without waiting for Qin Wang's response, he turned around and strode away.
He walked hurriedly, stepping on the fallen leaves, and his figure quickly disappeared around the corner of the road.
Qin Wang stood there alone, his hands still holding something, just like the dance he once danced with Ling. He also held his hands loosely like this, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't hold on to what he wanted to grasp.
"... As expected, he escaped." Lu Wufeng sighed, "For exactly the same reason. Even if I go through it again, I can still feel the pain of being torn apart by my soul."
"He thinks we are not in love with him. I really don't understand why he thinks so." Felix said sadly, "He is obviously not us, but he always asserts our feelings on his own initiative."
"Mr. is a very kind and benevolent person. He did this out of consideration." Chi Zhou, who rarely spoke, spoke in a low voice. "He couldn't bear to see us in trouble. He couldn't bear to see us feel pain about our choices once we 'wake up'. So before this, he wanted to prevent the possibility of tragedy from happening... Mr. is Mr., and he has never changed."
"Why, it's just a setback, are you going to give up just like that?" A sinister young man's voice sounded. It was the young emperor. "Master Soul, if you can't do it, I will do it. It will take several reincarnations to see the teacher again. You want to give up, but I won't."
Qin Wang took a deep and slow breath of the cool air, then slowly exhaled.
He curled up his fingers and the expression on his face became calm.
"The main soul can only be me. Don't think about things you shouldn't think about." He said, "My sudden appearance caused a great shock to Zi Yan. This is my fault. I was too impatient. Let him calm down first."
"You don't want to give up, right?" Yin Yao asked worriedly.
"Give up?" Qin Wang laughed softly. The beast with its head chopped off in his chest woke up again, and a faint light shone in his eyes. "As long as I have a breath left, I will never let him go. It's impossible."
On the other side, 419 was also confused.
"Host, you..."
It was halfway through its words when it saw Jian Ziyan's red eyes and nose, and suddenly it couldn't say anything anymore.
"Why are you doing this..." It was so anxious that it was spinning in its consciousness space, "You, you, hey, Qin Wang still remembers you, isn't that good? Why did you reject him, don't you want someone to accompany you?"
Although it had only been back for a day and a half, it could already see that Jian Ziyan was lonely.
A world that he would risk his life to come back to
In fact, there is nothing in this world worth him staying in. He has no relatives and no friends. The only thing that supports him to come back is his sense of responsibility towards his father, the dean.
It may not understand humans well enough, but it also knows that humans are social animals and no one can endure eternal loneliness. Jian Ziyan has been alone for so long and has endured for so long. Now that someone comes to love him, he still has to push himself away.
"I have explained the reason very clearly, Xiaojiu." Jian Ziyan's tone was casual. If his voice was not a little muffled, it would be somewhat credible. "You have watched me come from one world after another. How much sincerity can I have for the characters in the mission world? The taskers are all the same. We are cold, selfish, and only care about the mission. Qin Wang just came back too quickly and has not yet sorted out the difference between the play and reality, but he will understand."
419 wanted to find some words to refute, but it was very stupid and could never win an argument with Jian Ziyan. At the same time, it felt really sorry for him. A system was so frustrated that it wanted to cry.
"It's okay, Xiaojiu." Jian Ziyan comforted it instead, "I've been through this for 22 years. I could do it before, and I can do it in the future."
As he said this, he rubbed his phone with the hand in his pocket, but still resisted the urge to take out his phone to check anything related to Qin Wang.
This fate does not belong to this world, so let it end here.
*
The author has something to say:
Reveal a shocking secret x
Just like I have arranged a theme for each small world, the main world also has its theme, which will be slowly revealed.
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