Chapter 112: Perfection (End of the Main Text) Many Regrets...
When I took my next break, it was autumn, with clear skies and beautiful weather.
Yu Qing and Xie Jing went to Tanyin Temple together.
She had come here once a few months ago, and although she had not made any specific wishes, during this period of time, all her confusion had been sorted out and all the misfortunes had been averted. She felt that it would be a good idea to pay her respects again, as sincerity would be answered, and she hoped that everything would go as she wished in the future.
By the way, I'd like to ask for a few more amulets for my family.
Before coming this time, she did not inform Monk Anren. The monk happened to be giving a lecture today and would not be back for a while. The two of them did not care and let other disciples lead the way respectfully.
After burning incense and praying, he took the consecrated jade talisman and read the fortune. This time, without Yu Qing and An Ren's collusion, the fortune was interpreted normally, and all in all, it was auspicious. The young monk spoke eloquently to the two nobles.
"Master, can you take another look at our marriage prospects?" Xie Jing asked.
The monk always answered requests. He took the fortune stick and pondered for a moment before saying, "Let me see yours first. You..."
Xie Jing smiled: "No, let's watch it together."
The young monk looked at him and then at Yu Qing, stunned for a moment: "Huh?"
He tried to guess the donors' intentions, hesitated for a moment, and then said with a stiff upper lip, "This seems to be excellent. It's a predestined relationship, a match made in heaven, and it can last forever..."
The prince looked a little grim when he wasn't smiling. The little monk was afraid he might have made a mistake, so he nervously examined her expression. Yu Qing remained calm and said calmly, "Well, the Imperial Observatory also said so. It seems to be true."
Xie Jing was very satisfied and immediately gave some money for incense.
The temple was filled with red leaves, and the scenery was pleasant. The two of them strolled around casually, and then went to a separate dining hall to have vegetarian food.
With nothing to do, Yu Qing quietly copied a few scriptures in the Zen room. However, after finishing, he was reluctant to present the scriptures written by Xie Jing to the Buddha.
The Buddha receives so much every day and has no shortage of this, so he probably won't blame her.
"Those you copied earlier," she said, "are all in my study."
According to custom, she would eventually go to the main hall where the eternal lamp was enshrined. On the way, An Ren finally finished his lecture and heard from his disciple that Prince Yu Qing had arrived, so he came to look for him.
He was naturally familiar with Yu Qing, but seeing that there was another friend beside the prince, An Ren clasped his hands together and saluted. After the ceremony, he looked up and saw Xie Jing's face, which was a little strange.
He always felt that he had seen these eyes somewhere, but he had never seen this man before.
"This benefactor looks very kind to me," An Ren asked doubtfully, "has any of your sisters come to burn incense before?"
Yu Qing: “…”
She thought angrily, this monk has a good memory.
She said, "This is His Royal Highness Prince Jing."
An Ren was startled. He had never expected Yu Qing to bring a royal relative with him. He immediately asked how he was and said sincerely, "I'm sorry for not welcoming you, my distinguished guest, and I'm sorry for not entertaining you well enough..."
Yu Qing said: "No need to be polite, he is with me."
Anren's eyes moved back and forth between the two of them, and he found that Yu Qing and His Royal Highness Prince Jing seemed to be very close.
"Oh right," Yu Qing said, "something happened. I had previously lit a long-burning lamp here for my deceased wife. This time, let's remove it along with the memorial tablet."
Upon hearing this, Xie Jing looked at her sideways.
Yu Qing felt that since the person was still alive, there was no need to offer sacrifices anymore. Lighting the lamps again might be unlucky, so it was time to remove them.
The Yu Mansion's annual incense offerings were considerable. In addition to his deceased relatives, Yu Qing also offered many lamps to the soldiers who died in battle. This was the first time An Ren heard that the lamps were to be removed, and he couldn't help but ask, "Why is this?"
"Oh. Because the three-year mourning period is almost over," Yu Qing said calmly and relaxedly, "I've found a new love recently and I'm planning to remarry."
Anren: “…”
Xie Jing gently poked Yu Qing's side.
Yu Qing added, "My second wife is jealous and not as kind as my first wife, so it's inconvenient to keep the tablet for my late wife."
Anren had a puzzled look on his face, and Yu Qing herself felt like laughing. She said, "By the way, light some blessing lanterns for His Royal Highness Prince Jing... for longevity, peace, healing... and wisdom."
She thought that Xie Jing suffered every time he wrote memorials, and she wondered if the Wisdom Lamp could help him write more efficiently.
After An Ren left, Yu Qing said to Xie Jing, "I've noticed that good people seem to remember you. An Ren only met you once, and he still remembers you."
After all, Qingjia is such a nice person. Anyone who knows "her" will definitely have an impression of her, unless he or she is disrespectful to the princess.
Xie Jing said: "Well, most of the royal family members are not good people."
Yu Qing wondered what they had in their eyes. Even if she was so pretty, even if she looked down on everyone, she would still remember them, right? Xie Jing had a really hard time in the palace before… As the prince thought about it, he felt pity for her again.
The princess's lamp was gone, only her brother's was. Yu Qing stood there quietly for a moment, with a thousand thoughts in her mind. What she wanted to tell him the most was that she had gotten what she wanted and was now living a happy life.
Although there was no way to share it, she thought that if his spirit was in heaven, he would surely see it and protect Xie Jing together.
·
There were many pilgrims coming and going in other places in the temple, and it was not very comfortable with so many people. Yu Qing took Xie Jing to the back mountain.
Xie Jing was very cautious along the way, and Yu Qing couldn't help but laugh. He said, "There aren't that many snakes here. I haven't encountered them before. I don't know how you got here before."
Xie Jing said: "You must not stay too far away from me."
Yu Qing took him by the hand and promised, "I won't leave for a moment."
The woodland was quiet and deserted, and the stream was flowing gently, bringing a refreshing coolness. Xie Jing had brought his attendants with him this time, and they had been following behind. When they reached an open space, they came over and spread out a cushion for resting, and brought water and a food box brought from the mansion.
...It’s really nice to have a caring wife, Yu Qing thought.
She opened the food box and saw that one of the layers was her favorite milk cake. She picked up a piece and tasted it. It was delicate and delicious. She tasted something special and asked in confusion, "Why does this cake look like it was made in your house?"
Xie Jing said, "Yes, the chef in the palace made it."
Yu Qing was even more puzzled. She asked, "Did you bring him to the Marquis' Mansion? How come I didn't know about it?"
Xie Jing said quietly, "I asked someone to call him over last night, and he made it right away."
Yu Qing had no recollection of it, and didn't know whether it was true or not. Last night, in a rare instance, they hadn't slept together. Xie Jing was at Wenhua Garden, while she had returned to Huaifeng Pavilion. Mainly because she had to leave the capital early that morning and needed to rest early for fear of being unable to get up. Furthermore, since they were visiting a peaceful Buddhist temple, it was best to avoid any mischief the night before and be more pious.
But she still felt something was wrong. She continued to eat her dim sum when suddenly an idea struck her. She asked, "...was this really made by the dim sum chef?"
Xie Jing didn't say anything, just looked at her eagerly.
How could Yu Qing not understand? He was stunned for a moment, in disbelief, and said, "Really?"
Xie Jing actually didn't want to admit it.
Yu Qing was quite surprised and asked anxiously, "Why didn't you tell me?"
Xie Jing said: "It's not as good as what others do."
Yu Qing said decisively: "No, this is definitely the best in the world."
Xie Jing whispered, "That's not what you said before."
Yu Qing immediately felt wronged: "How is that possible? When did I say that?"
Then she suddenly realized that this must not be the first time Xie Jing had done this. He had done it before, but she just didn't know it!
She had tasted the snacks from the palace several times and only remembered that they tasted very good, but she couldn't tell how much of them were made by him.
Yu Qing really didn't know why he kept it a secret. She shook his arm twice, feeling both amused and helpless, and asked, "Which of those times did you do it?"
If she had known this earlier, she would have savored it carefully and not left a single bite.
This is a dessert made by her princess herself.
Beautiful and gentle, considerate and dexterous... How could such a person exist in the world?
"Not many times," Xie Jing frowned, "...The first time you didn't get to eat it was in Beichensi."
Yu Qing was stunned, and when he thought back it seemed to be true.
He had delivered some snacks once, but the two of them started arguing in Beichensi and accidentally knocked it over.
Wouldn't that be a waste of his kindness? What a pity! She was in a trance for a moment, and felt extremely annoyed.
I don't know how long it took him, but my heart bleeds when I think about how he worked so hard to make such exquisite snacks, but in the end they were all cleaned up and treated as dirt.
Xie Jing said, "It doesn't matter. It's not much anyway."
Seeing that he still felt aggrieved when talking about it, Yu Qing thought to herself that it’s not a big deal, he must have cried a lot.
"Actually, I ate it," Yu Qing said, "It seems that at that time... there happened to be a piece that didn't fall out. But there was only one piece."
This time Xie Jing was surprised. He blinked and his expression brightened.
"I thought," he said, "that you wouldn't touch anything I gave you. You were so mean."
Yu Qing said: "I didn't, that's not the case. Don't assume that casually in the future."
Even then, if Xie Jing told her that he was the one who did it, Yu Qing would probably... appear unmoved, and then start tasting it when no one was around.
Xie Jing gently put his arm around her waist, and he was happy again.
Yu Qing thought for a moment and said, "From now on, milk cakes can only be made for me and no one else."
Xie Jing said, "Okay... can't I even eat it myself?"
Yu Qing: “…”
Yu Qing said: "That's fine."
Xie Jing smiled.
It’s so sweet, Yu Qing thought, how come it seems sweeter than snacks?
"...When I was a child, I wanted to eat snacks, but my mother was not very good at making them, so my brother often went to the market outside the city to buy them and brought them back to me." Yu Qing said.
At that time, her father and brother were both on the battlefield, and Mrs. Lu gave birth to her while accompanying the army. The family lived in a border city like other military households. Even for a general's family, they could not be said to have luxurious living, but Yu Qing had no complaints at all. That was the most carefree time of her life.
She still doesn't want to think about the days after Yu Lang was seriously injured. It has always been her nightmare.
After her brother's death, she became a different person. She didn't know why, but that little girl was so brave and had the fortitude to make such a decision. Later, whenever she felt weak, she would think about her past self.
Her teenage years were her most difficult. She had to grow up quickly and become independent, while also constantly giving up on herself and having to let go of many things. Her first time in battle, she saw blood on her blade, and she couldn't sleep all night after returning.
She also felt resentful—why was fate so unfair, letting her brother go? And why did everything have to happen to her? How much better would it have been if the accident hadn't happened?
But in the end, she managed to maintain her composure. Perhaps it was her innate character, aspirations superior to others, unwilling to admit she couldn't do it. The exhilaration of battle had helped her somewhat, and during the pacification of the northwest, she had also experienced a satisfaction that others could never have imagined.
However, when everything returned to calm, she became confused again.
It seems like I am always distant from others, and I don’t know what else I can pursue. Fame, wealth, wine, sex, money and anger are nothing but that.
When I think about the next few decades being like this, everything seems boring.
When her parents leave one day, she will become the loneliest person. The thought of that future is so heavy that even she shudders.
Yu Qing simply talked about his past. In fact, it was all in the past now. There was no pain at all. Even today, he could talk about it calmly.
Xie Jing was very quiet. Yu Qing looked up and laughed again, "Where's your handkerchief?"
Xie Jing was heartbroken and shed silent tears. He felt sad and distressed.
"I didn't say anything..." Yu Qing said in a low voice.
She also felt soft-hearted.
Xie Jing belonged to her and understood her. If he hadn't been there, she might never have told anyone else about it. She could definitely relate to Xie Jing's words. He and she seemed different, but in reality, they were so similar.
She had been waiting and longing for his appearance. She had always thought that he might not show up in her lifetime, but she didn't expect that he would actually appear before her. Fate was actually very kind to her.
"Before you came, I always felt like I had nothing," Yu Qing said, "It's different now. Fortunately, you are here."
Xie Jing said: "No."
"...Actually, you already have everything," he said. "I'm just the last one."
Xie Jing had always felt that if Yu Qing didn't like him, he wouldn't have anything to impress her, which made him particularly distressed. After all, she was already perfect: she had a family, status, a good reputation, power...it had always been this way.
Yu Qing stared at her blankly, his mind racing.
...It seems to be true.
Although there are many hardships, what I have gained is far beyond what others can achieve.
Because she never lacked money, she didn't think it was that important. If she was asked to give up, she probably wouldn't agree.
If she had not become the prince, perhaps she would have faced more difficulties - unable to take revenge, unable to protect the people around her, unable to use her own skills, and perhaps even had to compromise... That would definitely be more painful, and she simply could not accept it.
And her only flaw had been filled up perfectly. What had always bothered her was now flawless.
Just now, when she was praying in the Buddhist temple, she could not think of anything else except for the safety and health of her loved ones... It turned out that she had nothing else to ask for in this life.
Thinking of this, Yu Qing suddenly felt relieved. Looking back at the past, all the regrets disappeared like smoke.
Because this moment is so perfect.
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