Chapter 71 Tears A pair of eyes filled with tears.
For the first time in his life, Yu Qing experienced what it felt like to be trapped in love, and it took him a while to calm down.
The next day, after getting dressed and putting on his hat, he hesitated to go out because he was worried about going to Beichensi.
After battling her emotions for a moment, she finally left the house in a carriage, wondering why she could be so weak. It was just Xie Jing, wasn't it? Now that she saw it clearly, there was no point in dwelling on it anymore. No point in wasting her energy.
Besides, she was not the one who was at a loss for words. Even if they met face to face, it would be Xie Jing who would try to avoid her.
People are most prone to sentimentality at night; in the daytime, when the sun shines, many sufferings will become dull. Yu Qing thought so, but when she arrived at the hall and saw Xie Jing, a feeling of melancholy filled her heart again.
·
I don’t know what time His Royal Highness Prince Jing arrived.
The official documents and drafts on Yu Qing's desk were all sorted into categories or organized into volumes; the matters to be dealt with today were arranged in order of importance.
There was warm tea on the table and the incense burner was lit, exuding a distant and peaceful atmosphere.
Xie Jing saw her arrive and immediately stepped aside. He said cautiously, "Someone from the Ministry of War just came and asked when the commander would be free to discuss things. I asked their minister to come over at noon. You should be free."
Yu Qing glanced at him and said calmly, "Your Highness will no longer need to do these small things personally. Hand them over to the guards."
Xie Jing said: "...I am willing to do it."
Yu Qing walked around him and sat in the main seat, saying, "Your Highness has learned quite well these days. It would be a waste of your talent to serve as my deputy. I'll assign you some tasks today. If needed, I'll give you a few more capable people. Your Highness, please make the arrangements yourself."
Xie Jing stood there for a moment, at a loss, knowing that Yu Qing was drawing a line between them.
He wanted to beg for mercy, but seeing her frozen face, he felt sad, so he had to go back to his side first.
After half an hour, Xie Jing felt very uncomfortable. He wanted to speak several times but was afraid of disturbing her.
Yu Qing is indeed a little anxious now.
Xie Jing's presence had always been alarming. She'd been reluctantly accustomed to it before, but now she couldn't stand it anymore. Yu Qing couldn't even process the rows of words, and she secretly hated herself for not having enough determination.
Xie Jing had been accustomed to reading people's faces since he was a child in the palace, and he was extraordinarily sensitive to people's emotions. Yu Qing was silent, but he clearly sensed that something was wrong with her aura, and knew that not only was she still angry, but she was probably even more dissatisfied with him.
"Sir," Xie Jing said, "there is something I want to talk about..."
Yu Qing said: "Speak."
"The secret guards I left at your house were unintentional. They weren't monitoring you or anyone else," Xie Jing explained softly. "They were just helping me pass a message to Qiu Lian and the others."
He felt uneasy this morning, so he called his people over to ask them. He learned that Yu Qing was probably planning to purge the Marquis' Mansion, but unfortunately the secret guard had become the target. If Yu Qing misunderstood that he had framed Qiying, he would have no way to explain himself.
Yu Qing said: "Are you done?"
Xie Jing: "Yeah."
Yu Qing: "Okay, I understand."
When she saw the note from the secret guard, she did doubt Xie Jing, but since Xie Jing said so, she just believed it.
She discovered that Xie Jing was not heartless. Although he did not leave her a word, he still remembered to send a message to Qiu Lian and Dong Li.
In his eyes, "husband" is an unnecessary existence.
Seeing her indifferent attitude, Xie Jing couldn't help but feel anxious. He had been thinking over and over all night last night, not knowing how to repair his relationship with Yu Qing. It was too difficult.
When Yu Qing was nice to him, she was really nice, gentle, considerate, and caring. When Yu Qing disliked him, she was really distant and left him helpless.
In the past, he relied on her kindness and good character to play tricks on her and make her pity this helpless princess. But now Yu Qing would not pity him anymore.
Ultimately, he was useless, unable to win her favor or understanding. He had spent the previous twenty years in the palace, humiliated and subservient, so he only knew those tactics. Tears and sobbing only worked with those who cared about him.
·
Xie Jing endured the bitterness in his heart and persevered until noon. However, after lunch, he returned to find Yu Qing ordering people to move his things elsewhere. He was stunned again: "What is he doing?"
"Your Highness, it's not convenient for me to squeeze into this room all the time," Yu Qing said. "The room next to it will be used exclusively by Your Highness in the future."
The main hall of Beichensi is very spacious and can accommodate ten Xie Jings.
Xie Jing whispered, "...If it takes up too much space, I can move to the side."
Yu Qing found it very confusing.
It was clearly him who was excessive, and his attitude was pretty good, so why did he act like he was being bullied?
She didn't know whether Xie Jing did it on purpose or it was her illusion, but her expression, tone, and vague sense of grievance... she really couldn't stand it, as if she had been pricked by a sharp thorn.
Yu Qing thought, this must be Xie Jing's usual trick.
Just like the incident between the Chen family and the Queen, Xie Jing was not a lamb to be slaughtered. He was a hunter from the beginning.
She had reminded him several times, fearing that he would be taken advantage of. She was completely deceived by the illusion.
Because of this face, Yu Qing probably subconsciously developed a sense of protection for him. Even if it was not as much as the princess, it was much more than that of ordinary people.
In just a few short months, Xie Jing had gone from a penniless commoner to a sought-after prince, deeply favored by the emperor and respected by others, blending effortlessly among the aristocratic families. How could such a man be so simple? He must have been incredibly resourceful!
Having learned from the previous experience, Yu Qing could no longer underestimate Xie Jing. He had to assume the worst in everything, or he would be fooled again.
To avoid misunderstanding, Yu Qing thought about it and confirmed it.
"Xie Tingxuan's matter is actually related to you."
Xie Jing: “…”
Yu Qing said: "I think I asked you once if you really went to Yongping Lane to kill him, and you denied it. In fact, it was you who did it, right?"
Xie Jing was speechless.
“…It’s me.”
Yu Qing said: "Yeah. I guess so, it's true."
Xie Jing's face drained of color again. It had come back like a boomerang. Why did he always do the wrong thing? Yu Qing had caught him lying again.
He really didn't want Yu Qing to see his dark and vicious side. Because he always knew that Yu Qing had a clear mind and she liked people who were pure, innocent, kind and gentle.
But... he did do it, it was just revenge, he didn't actively harm anyone.
He had been bullied so badly in the past, and his loved ones had been forced into such a desperate situation, it was only natural for him to do what he did.
After hearing his affirmative answer, Yu Qing also understood.
I still remember when he was in the palace, he was so innocent and sincere, a perfect little white lotus. Even the emperor didn't doubt him and gave him hundreds of thousands of rewards later.
The queen must have been deceived by him a long time ago, but fell into his trap and was killed by the orphan girl who was ignored and controlled by her.
When Xie Jing was "Qing Jia", she never showed her face in public and kept a low profile in the palace. Therefore, many people only had a vague impression of her, which made it easier for him to lower others' vigilance.
He is really good at disguising himself, making people feel soft-hearted towards him.
...When I cried to her before, was it just an act?
His tears were like knives, sharp enough to be used as weapons. Her tears were so tender and pitiful that even a woman like her couldn't resist.
If he were a real husband, facing such a princess, he would definitely take good care of her and love her deeply. Who could remain indifferent?
No matter who she marries, Xie Jing will live a good life. This is his ability.
She still remembered the princess's mention of menstrual fluid on their wedding night, and how she later claimed she was infertile and had little desire to consummate the marriage. It seemed like she was just trying to cover up her mistake. Xie Jing certainly didn't want anything to do with men anymore, and perhaps she was still enduring Yu Qing's proximity.
By the way, there is also his disease, which occurs every two or three months, and the imperial physician is helpless and cannot explain the cause.
Now he has been back in Kyoto for several months and has been doing well. He has never heard that King Jing has suffered from any old illness and has been bedridden for several days.
I think it's fake. Was it to avoid the Queen's control? Later, it was an excuse to avoid intimacy? Finally, it was a prelude to fake his death?
The same goes for his figure. In fact, Yu Qing didn't dare to assume that they were the same person because he and Qingjia were completely different.
Qingjia's height is similar to her own. Although she is tall, she does have a girlish figure, with a slender figure like a willow in the wind.
Xie Jing was already an adult at that time. How did he do it? How did he become so tall and graceful two years later?
I remembered what Xie Jing said at the Duke's Mansion, that the bones of men and women are different.
I've heard there's a technique called "bone-shrinking kung fu" that allows one to change bones and body shape. Could Xie Jing have also practiced this technique? That would be a truly unique skill.
Is it true that he doesn't know martial arts? At first glance, he looks weak and powerless, but who knows if that's true or not? Yu Qing didn't jump to conclusions based on his experience this time.
Prince Rui is a man of unfathomable depths. Xie Jing and he are brothers, so they must have something in common.
Yu Qing was silent for a moment, and finally said to Xie Jing, "Your Highness is much more capable than I imagined. I don't think you need to stay in Beichensi anymore. I will report to the Second Prince tomorrow and ask him to find another place for you."
Xie Jing's heart sank to the bottom when he heard this. He subconsciously said anxiously, "No, I don't want to leave."
Yu Qing really felt that it was a waste for him to be doing nothing here. With that energy, he should go to the court and stir up trouble with Prince Rui.
Looking at her expression that refused to be rejected, Xie Jing was helpless.
"I know the prince is... unhappy with me because of what happened back then, but I really have my own difficulties," he said in a panic. "I've been in the palace for so many years and I have no choice. If I had a choice, I wouldn't want to lie to you about so much. Marrying you was a marriage granted by the emperor, and I couldn't refuse. At first, I... couldn't tell you the truth, and later, of course, I couldn't speak up. After all, this is not a glorious thing..."
He hated his former self, weak and powerless, forced to endure in that sickly, twisted body to survive. Yu Qing was naturally a hundred times better than him. She was resolute and brave, fearless. She was an invincible general on the battlefield, while he was just a self-pitying princess in the deep palace.
He also wanted to come before Yu Qing openly, but he had no choice. If he hadn't relied on a fake identity, he wouldn't have had the chance to become friends with Yu Qing.
When Yu Qing heard this, his expression finally changed.
She felt that she was calm enough and had sorted out her emotions last night, but Xie Jing's words still ignited a fire in her heart.
Being forced into a situation is not glorious, this is what Xie Jing thought.
She admitted that it was indeed very difficult for her to carefully disguise her identity while trying to please the husband who arranged the marriage for her.
What about her? What does her heart mean?
All the beauty and warmth are wishful thinking.
"Can't help myself?" Yu Qing interrupted him.
Xie Jing stopped talking.
"Yes, Your Highness, this is really difficult. When you live under someone's roof, you have to compromise," Yu Qing sneered, "but crying in the middle of the night and asking me to accompany you, is this also beyond my control?"
If you don't want to, then don't pretend so much. She even suspected that Xie Jing was bored and was playing with people's hearts for fun.
Xie Jing was speechless again.
"...Yes, I did it on purpose," Xie Jing's voice trembled a little, "but I didn't think too much about it, I just..."
I can't say it.
But no one had ever been so nice to him, and he was greedy and wanted Yu Qing to be nicer to him.
Yu Qing's expression became even uglier.
Xie Jing was already disheartened. He knew that no matter what he did, there was no way to salvage the situation. His behavior was indeed hypocritical and disgusting. After all, Yu Qing was an open-minded person.
In fact, he knew her secret... and had been hiding it from her. Since then, he had been deliberately trying to get close to her, but he didn't dare let her know.
This matter was very important to Yu Qing. He was just worried that he would accidentally touch her sensitive spot.
What can I do to make you forgive me? Even if I'm not your beloved princess, can you give me a chance?
"What happened in the past was all my fault..." Xie Jing said, "If the prince wants to vent his anger on me, I have no complaints."
Xie Jing is very good at being submissive and calming people down.
Yu Qing tried his best to remain calm, gritting his teeth and saying, "No need. I have nothing to vent. Your Highness, have someone pack up their belongings. I will speak to Prince Rui as soon as possible."
Seeing that she was completely unmoved, Xie Jing felt truly desperate.
"Why does it have to be like this?" Xie Jing asked, "Haven't you and I been getting along well lately? Beichen Division has a lot going on right now, and I'll do my best to help you with it. Can we put the past aside for now? I really want to be with the prince."
Yu Qing took a few deep breaths, but couldn't control himself anymore and asked, "Let it go? Tell me how? Let me forget about you? I can't do that!"
Xie Jing said: "...I'm sorry."
Yu Qing said sternly, "You don't need to apologize anymore!"
Xie Jing's soft attitude made her feel even more powerless, like hitting cotton. Xie Jing didn't understand at all; he didn't understand how she felt.
At this moment, Xie Jing looked at her at a loss.
Yu Qing finally closed her eyes and said to Xie Jing, "Your Highness, do you know? When you were dead, I really hoped you could live. Now that you are alive, I hope you are really dead."
Xie Jing didn't say anything and didn't respond for a long time.
Yu Qing looked up at him, her pupils shrinking. Xie Jing stared at her blankly, his face full of sorrow, his eyes filled with tears. At this moment, a teardrop slid down the side of his face from the corner of his beautiful eye.
Tears fell to the ground with a plop.
Xie Jing seemed to have realized something, and only then did he realize that he couldn't help crying. He frantically wiped away the tears, afraid that they would only flow more. In the end, he could only hurriedly say to Yu Qing, "Your Highness, there's no need to tell my brother. I can leave on my own."
Then he turned and left the main hall of Beichensi.
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