Chapter 1 "Does he know that I am actually... a man?"
Before stepping into the Flower Moon Pavilion, I was called Loquat; after stepping into the Flower Moon Pavilion, I was also called Pipa. However, this Pipa is not that Loquat. Just like that, a threshold transformed a fruit into a musical instrument.
"Loquat, your name is Loquat, so why do you never like to eat loquats?" One day, Chen Yun asked me suddenly, perhaps on a whim. I shrank back and didn't answer immediately.
Those days were just the beginning of summer, and the weather was unpredictable, sometimes cold and sometimes hot.
It had just rained, and a light breeze was blowing, making it a bit chilly.
As I listened to Chen Yun's question, I suddenly shivered for no reason. I don't know if it was the wind, but I walked to the window and reached out to lower the window pane a little, leaving a crack for ventilation.
The rain, carried by the wind, fell in fine threads onto the back of my hand, sending a chill through me.
When I walked back to the bedside, Shen Yun was already lying down. He casually rested his head on his arm, his brocade robes still in the same condition as when he arrived, not caring if they got wrinkled from sleeping, just lying there casually with his clothes on.
Shen Yun has always been like this; he never takes off his outer clothes in front of me because he thinks they're dirty.
Even though the bed is now covered with a clean quilt specially prepared for him, which was just aired out before being put into the closet and is fluffy and freshly scented, Shen Yun still feels it's dirty.
Because in his view, this place is unclean, so everything, including me... is unclean.
So he slept fully clothed, so he never touched me.
At that moment, I saw that Chen Yun had closed her eyes, so I tiptoed over, intending to find a place to sit down and wait for her to wake up after her nap. But as soon as I reached the bedside, Chen Yun opened her eyes. Her dark eyes were not fully open, but half-open and half-closed, with long, thick eyelashes drooping down, looking wearily as if gathering the evening stars.
I was taken aback by his gaze, and then Shen Yun suddenly reached out and grabbed my hand.
His hands were warm, while mine were cold, not only cold but also damp from the rain, making them a little slippery.
I was startled and instinctively wanted to shrink back, but I stopped before I could do so, because I suddenly remembered where I was and who I was.
Shen Yun had no idea what I was thinking. She just held my hand and looked at it over and over, like a child who had discovered a new toy.
After a while, until my hands were a little warm from being squeezed, Chen Yun finally spoke, "So soft. How come you have such chubby hands? No wonder you can't play the piano." She paused, then seemed to suddenly remember something and chuckled to herself, "That's right, it would be really strange if someone as soft as you had a pair of hard hands."
As Shen Yun spoke, she looked up at me with a smile.
He was truly handsome, with rosy lips, white teeth, and exquisitely beautiful features. In fact, his face was almost too delicate for a man. Therefore, those who saw him couldn't help but feel a pang of regret.
It's a pity he's not a woman, but it's also a good thing he's not a woman.
Perhaps it was the slightly dazed look on my face that caught Shen Yun's attention. I saw him frown, and I immediately realized my rudeness, so I quickly looked away.
Seeing this, Shen Yun asked me, "Why do you look like you've done something wrong?"
His tone always seemed unhurried and leisurely, making it impossible to discern his true emotions.
I recall that night about a year ago, when Shen Yun seemed to ask the terrified Master Zou in a similar tone if he knew what he had done wrong.
I still remember the fascinating changes in the old man surnamed Zou's expression at the time, from his initial arrogance and disdain to his wailing and pleading for mercy, all in the blink of an eye.
That Master Zou never understood where he went wrong. Perhaps he shouldn't have stepped into the Flower Moon Pavilion that night, but even more wrong was that he went up to Chen Yun and acted arrogantly.
The old man's final fate was to have his hands and feet broken, and to writhe and squirm on the ground like a filthy maggot.
His tongue had been chopped off, and blood was flowing all over the ground. In addition, something else kept flowing out of his round, muddy body, emitting a fishy, foul stench that was completely different from the aroma of fine wine and powder.
No one dared to step forward to stop them; they simply covered their mouths and noses in disgust and fear.
Aunt Xun, the manager of Huayuelou, was also hiding in a corner. She didn't dare to move at all, half of her face was deathly pale, and the other half was flushed red.
Aunt Xun was always stingy. Looking at the dirty floor, the broken table, and the shattered porcelain, she felt a pang of heartache, yet she was also afraid of the young man sitting on the table wearing official boots... or perhaps he could only be considered a teenager. She dared not speak out against him.
Just as I was looking at Aunt Xun, she also saw me at the same time.
She was stunned for a moment, then as if she suddenly realized who the culprit was, her usually smiling eyes immediately shot out a venomous look.
The moment those venomous eyes locked onto me, my heart sank, and I knew I was doomed.
In Aunt Xun's view, the whole affair with Master Zou was probably caused by me. If I hadn't succumbed to the unbearable pain and escaped the room, if I had simply died at that old man's hands, none of this would have happened. Although she couldn't confront me now due to the situation, she would definitely seek revenge later...
Thinking of this, I couldn't help but shudder, and at the same time, a heavy wooden door flashed before my eyes.
Men or women who broke the rules in the building would be dragged through that door, and once they went in, they never came out unscathed. Even if they barely survived the relentless inhuman torture, they would eventually be wrapped up in a mat and thrown into the lowest-class restaurants to be sold cheaply, working day and night to entertain customers until they breathed their last breath in pain and humiliation.
The thought of such a future makes me tremble uncontrollably.
Just then, a voice rang out, interrupting my terrible fantasy.
The sound itself wasn't loud, but it resonated powerfully in the quiet hall.
"That one over there."
I couldn't hear anything in one ear, and the other was still buzzing, so it wasn't until the third time that I realized that Chen Yun was calling me.
Actually, we weren't standing that far apart.
Earlier, I escaped from the room and rolled down the stairs while being chased. Then I was dragged on the ground by my hair. My terrible screams probably aroused some interest in the old man, which made him start to teach me a lesson even more brutally in front of everyone.
Everyone just watched and whispered among themselves, but no one stood up to say a word.
Even the few people in the building who seemed to have a good relationship with me on weekdays just stayed far away, afraid of being affected and becoming the next me.
While physically assaulting me, Master Zou continued to hurl vulgarities and raucous laughter, humiliating and tormenting me in every way.
At that time, I gradually stopped feeling pain, but my ears kept ringing, and my vision was blurry, filled with blood and tears, turning red and black in waves... I thought, I'm about to die.
Therefore, I am not entirely clear about what exactly happened at that time.
By the time they came to their senses, Master Zou had already collapsed a few steps away, barely alive, filthy and a pitiful sight.
I don't know how I still had the strength to stand up, but the scene before me seemed to have some kind of magic, making me forget my injuries. I just stared at it without blinking until I met Aunt Xun's face, and then I belatedly felt afraid and in pain.
"Come here." Shen Yun called me again, beckoning me gently, as if she were calling to a cat or dog on the street.
At that time, I didn't know his name was Shen Yun, nor did I know what he did.
He called me, so I went over and walked step by step to Chen Yun.
I didn't know it at the time. It was only later, when Shen Yun told me about it, that I realized how strangely I had been walking back then.
I dragged a leg that had no feeling, and I practically hopped around to maintain my balance. My clothes, which had become dirty and tattered from the pulling, made me look like a scarecrow that had been exposed to the wind and sun in the fields for a long time and had suddenly come to life.
I stood in front of Shen Yun, staring at him like a fool without moving.
Shen Yun looked me down as if she were appraising a product that didn't look very appealing.
When his gaze fell on my numb left leg, his two long, dark eyebrows seemed to twitch slightly, before he regained his previous impatient expression.
"Sing a song, it's too boring, no fun," Shen Yun said. She seemed completely unaware that the somber atmosphere was entirely her own doing.
I also felt very stifled, but it was the kind of stifling that makes you feel like you're suffocating. My mind was completely blank; I couldn't think of anything, let alone sing.
"Won't you?" Shen Yun seemed to be getting a little impatient.
"Actually, if you would like to hear a song, sir..." Aunt Xun finally had a chance to approach with a smile, but she was stopped by a look from Shen Yun.
Then Shen Yun looked at me again, signaling me with her eyes to hurry up.
Aunt Xun watched us both nervously from the side. She knew my background and was afraid that if I said something wrong, it would displease Shen Yun and cause more trouble.
I opened my mouth, and with great difficulty, a sound came out, but what came out was a nameless, folk tune.
—This is a folk song from my hometown.
When I was little, whenever I couldn't sleep or woke up from a nightmare, my mother would hum this tune to lull me to sleep. She would always sing while gently patting my back with her warm hands.
But now, probably no one will do that anymore.
It's been seven or eight years since I last heard my mother hum this little tune. I don't even know if my parents are still alive and well, or if they know that I've left my hometown and fallen to this state...
My singing was neither pleasant nor melodious; my voice echoed mournfully in the vast space, sounding like a wronged ghost wailing for its own death.
Strangely enough, I was forced to finish singing Shen Yun's song, and I even seemed to find it somewhat satisfactory.
Then he asked me what the song was called.
I shook my head and said I didn't know, I just heard my mother sing it when I was little.
Upon hearing this, Shen Yun showed a thoughtful expression, and then suddenly asked me what my name was.
I stammered, "It's called loquat."
After listening, Shen Yun asked me how I wrote it.
I thought for a moment and replied, "It's the kind of loquat that you eat."
Shen Yun looked at me and suddenly smiled. Then she turned around, took out a silver note, and placed it in front of Aunt Xun, saying it was a small compensation and she hoped Aunt Xun would accept it.
That banknote seems to contain a rather large sum of money.
Aunt Xun hesitated at first, not daring to reach out and take it, but she didn't dare not take it, and finally she held it in her hand.
"This... I can't accept this. You're too kind, sir. You're too kind." She said this, but her eyes were beaming with joy.
Shen Yun didn't stand on ceremony with Aunt Xun. With a wave of her hand, two tall and handsome young men immediately stepped out from the crowd behind her and carried the corpse out of the ground as instructed by Shen Yun.
The next day, a notice was posted throughout the city stating that this wealthy man, surnamed Zou, had committed multiple cases of abusing and murdering young girls, and the evidence was conclusive. However, he was shot and killed on the spot for resisting arrest, and according to the law, all his property was confiscated…
After Shen Yun left that night, I developed a high fever, and it wasn't until the evening of the third day that I learned about it from Aunt Xun.
That person was after Master Zou; saving me was just something he did on the side.
Then it dawned on me, and I realized that's how it is, that's how it should be, that's how it makes sense... But a sense of inexplicable disappointment welled up inside me.
I had a high fever and was bedridden for two whole days, during which time I couldn't get up to do any work.
Strangely, Aunt Xun not only didn't wrap me in a straw mat and throw me out, but instead spent a lot of money to treat me and give me medicine, and instructed people to take good care of me so that nothing would go wrong.
I don't understand how Aunt Xun could still smile so kindly at me even now. I think either she's gone mad, or there's some crucial detail I don't yet know about.
Sure enough, Aunt Xun warmly took my hands, patted the back of my hands with a smile, and told me that my good luck had come.
"What good luck?" I asked cautiously.
Aunt Xun waved her silk handkerchief with an air of seriousness: "Young Master Shen has spent a lot of money to keep you for a year. During this year, you must serve him diligently. Maybe he will be happy and redeem you from your servitude."
"Young Master Shen?" I listened blankly, somewhat at a loss for words.
"That's the guy who asked you to sing yesterday. Not only does he have a father who's a high-ranking official, but he's also very accomplished at a young age... You know what, it's like a great pie just fell into your lap and hit you."
Rather than feeling happy, something else came to mind first.
Somewhat worried, I pressed Aunt Xun for more information, asking, "Does he know that I actually—"
...Was it a man?
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