Chapter 110... With Yu Qingzhou around, he can focus on being a loquat grower.
Pipa knows that freedom is always a relative thing.
He no longer belongs to Huayuelou, nor does he belong to himself.
After that tangible contract was torn up, what followed was an invisible shackle—or perhaps it shouldn't be called a shackle, but rather a tacit understanding that needs no words.
As long as he doesn't leave the city limits, he can go to almost any place he can think of, as long as he has Ajiu and her group with him.
Lan Yunzhi is not as carefree as she appears.
This might explain his pale complexion and thin figure when they met again.
In comparison, Li Nian appeared more often in front of the loquat.
Although he kept referring to himself as "I" or "I am," Li Nian was more like an innocent young master from a wealthy family than Lan Yunzhi.
Because they lacked childhood, they are more playful and also very attached to loquats.
Pipa sometimes thinks that if she had a younger brother, it would probably be like this.
—Provided that Li Nian doesn't go crazy.
All topics involving Yu Qingzhou and leaving are high-risk options, and Pipa will try her best to avoid them.
—Another point is that Li Nian is not very well-behaved when she is sleeping.
Lan Yunzhi arranged another place for Pipa.
Although they were still in the same courtyard, Pipa felt it was much better than sleeping in the same bed.
At least that's what he initially thought.
That very night, he dreamt of being entwined by a python, which then woke him up in a fright.
Then they found the young man sleeping peacefully with his eyes closed.
Pipa originally wanted to reach out and wake the other person, but seeing the dark circles under the young man's eyes, she held back. Besides, he was just a lodger.
Pipa gently brushed away the hand that was wrapped around her waist, and heard the young man muttering discontentedly in his sleep. After a short while, she felt a ticklish rubbing against her neck.
Pipa then moved further to the inside of the bed, avoiding the head that was trying to bury itself in the back of his neck.
After repeating this several times, the loquat gradually became sleepy.
Later, I don't know when I fell asleep. When I woke up with sleepy eyes, the person next to me had become Lan Yunzhi.
"I'm sorry to have bothered you last night."
Lan Yunzhi immediately apologized, her eyes lowered as if she were very remorseful.
His appearance is naturally gentle, and if he deliberately shows weakness, he gives people a feeling of pity.
Seeing this, Pipa really couldn't say anything other than that it was none of her business, since, logically and emotionally, this matter had nothing to do with Lan Yunzhi.
If you care too much about it, it will only make you seem pretentious.
It could be said that they didn't care at all... and the body's reaction couldn't be faked.
They are all adults without any particular physical defects. They pretend not to see in the dark, but there will always be an unavoidable awkwardness early in the morning.
At times like this, Pipa actually hopes that when she wakes up, she will see Li Nian.
At least it wouldn't be as humiliating as it was when facing Lan Yunzhi.
Five years of downtime is enough for Pipa to grow from a half-grown child into a handsome young man.
However, it is impossible to immediately change the loquat's consistent behavior towards young people.
Pipa hasn't yet found a new role psychologically, but his body can no longer return to the desireless state of a child.
Especially when the object of this unconscious impulse was Lan Yunzhi.
Guilt even outweighed shame itself.
He dared not reveal even the slightest clue in front of Lan Yunzhi.
—But in bed, this is undoubtedly the most difficult crime to conceal.
Lan Yunzhi seemed to have guessed what Pipa was thinking. She always woke up a little earlier and left the room to avoid the awkwardness of staring at each other.
They would also return to their own rooms early after nightfall and close the door.
Pipa saw all of this, said nothing, and silently bolted the door from the inside.
Even so, Li Nian would still sneak into his bed in the middle of the night without anyone noticing.
They're even more punctual than those kids rushing to meet their targets.
One day, Pipa woke up from her nightmare of being entangled in vines again and found the young man leaning on her shoulder with a sweet and innocent look on his face, almost pressing his whole body against hers.
He finally couldn't resist applying more pressure to his hand.
The young man woke up with a soft cry, his sleepy eyes clearly indicating that he was Li Nian.
Li Nian looked around and saw that she was on the boy's bed. She seemed a little surprised, but she was obviously more happy.
However, when she met the boy's scrutinizing gaze, she immediately lowered her head as if feeling guilty.
"I don't know why I'm here again. I swear I didn't mean to upset you."
As she spoke, Li Nian confidently raised two fingers above her head.
Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the boy's indifferent expression and seemed to lose heart again.
Instead, he lowered his shoulders, placed his hands neatly in front of him, shrunk his body slightly, and looked at the other person with his head tilted to the side like a little animal that had made a mistake.
"Please...don't be upset, okay?"
Even though she knew that Li Nian was inside the shell, Pipa's gaze still flickered slightly.
—Because of Lan Yunzhi's face.
He couldn't see the pleading or dejected expression on that face.
Li Nian was still explaining that she couldn't sleep soundly alone at night and needed to hug something to fall asleep.
Pipa immediately grasped the key point: "Then how did His Majesty fall asleep before? Did he also find someone to hold him?"
"..."
Li Nian stammered, her smile faltering, her guilt deepening: "It's not what you think, actually...actually..."
Perhaps due to excessive nervousness, I unconsciously reverted to using my previous self-reference.
Looking at the young man drenched in sweat, Pipa smiled calmly: "Actually, Your Majesty doesn't need to explain anything. It's late, you should rest early."
As he spoke, he turned around and closed his eyes.
The room was quiet, and there was no sound for a long time.
The gaze lingering on his back showed no sign of leaving.
After a while, Pipa was getting a little drowsy when she heard a faint murmur: "Why is it still not working? I've already... I've already tried so hard to learn..."
He wasn't sure if the other person was asking him or asking themselves.
Actually, Pipa also wanted to ask why.
Why do people always like this kind of wishful thinking?
Pipa wondered if Li Nian had considered that the problem wasn't actually what Li Nian had done.
The only difference is that he is Li Nian, but he is not Yu Qingzhou.
Pipa was unaware of the specifics of their past and had no intention of getting involved.
Of course, Pipa was very fortunate because the other party regarded him as Yu Qingzhou, so they never took any outrageous actions.
But that's all there is to it.
Pipa didn't know how long this superficial calm could last, but she had a premonition that it would explode sooner or later.
—What can I do before that?
Yu Qingzhou appeared in his dream again.
She was still standing behind him, unable to see his face.
"You seem troubled," Yu Qingzhou said.
"Yes." Pipa didn't hide anything at all; whatever he was thinking, Yu Qingzhou in his dream knew perfectly well.
He gave a bitter laugh to himself: "Thanks to you, I'm living a life of luxury, with everything done for me. I should be content, but even I don't know what my situation is right now."
[...]
Okay, I know this really has nothing to do with you.
Pipa murmured softly, her shoulders slumping dejectedly: "I probably just wanted someone to talk to. Yu Qingzhou, are you listening?"
The person behind him responded softly.
Pipa suddenly felt happy for some reason, perhaps because someone was here with him.
And this person is Yu Qingzhou, even though the other party also said something like they were one person.
But at least in his heart, with Yu Qingzhou around, he could be at ease being his loquat.
After all, how can two identical people exist in the world at the same time?
[Yu Qingzhou, if only you were my older brother. Then we could grow up together. You would still be that beloved and praised little Taoist priest, and I would be that annoying, clingy little brother.]
As if amused by her own thoughts, Pipa chuckled to herself.
Then he began to describe the scene with great enthusiasm.
[Whether it's Li Xiao, Li Nian, Lan Yunzhi, or anyone else—they all like you, but I'll stick to your side and be their stumbling block. I'll watch them get anxious and jump around because they can't get close to you, and then I'll hide behind you, stick my tongue out at them, and make faces.]
As she said this, the corners of Pipa's mouth turned up, as if she could hear a soft laugh coming from behind her.
It carried a hint of barely suppressed a smile.
When we got home, my mother would smile and hug us, playfully scolding me for being undignified and unsteady, and telling me I should learn from her.
As he spoke, the boy's laughter faded, replaced by a subtle sadness: "If only that were true."
He sniffed, then suddenly turned around to look at the silent young man behind him.
[Yu Qingzhou, are you really Yu Qingzhou? Or just a figment of my imagination?]
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