Chapter 137 "But Chen Yun, it really hurts so much..."
How do I open that wall?
Pipa tried asking Shen Yun.
Shen Yun did not answer directly, but instead asked the other party what exactly they wanted to do.
He must have overheard what Pipa said when she said goodbye to Li Xiao, which led to his suspicions.
"Can't you just consider it satisfying my little curiosity?" Pipa gave a faint smile in the face of the young man's scrutinizing gaze.
The latter paused for a moment before saying, "You seem... a little different from before."
People always change.
Pipa smiled and replied calmly, "Whether it's an adult or myself, there's no need to be overly attached to anything in life. Things that seem life-or-death now may be forgotten in the blink of an eye."
Shen Yun pursed her lips slightly, her gaze fixed intently on the boy.
“I don’t know, maybe you’re right,” he said softly with a sigh, then called out to Pipa again.
Pipa nodded and hummed in agreement, then noticed Chen Yun's hesitant expression.
Pipa used to think that people like Shen Yun wouldn't be bound by anything, and wouldn't have any worries about it.
It was like the feeling he had when he first saw Senior Sister Shen in Yu Qingzhou's dream.
Whether man or woman, if they have their own ideals and aspirations, they should move forward without hesitation.
Nothing and no one is enough to become a stumbling block on their path forward.
This naturally includes himself.
"So you really like Li Xiao?"
Pipa hadn't expected Shen Yun to ask this question, and paused for a moment.
Then Shen Yun continued, "That day, when you first ran out of the cell, I saw it too. You may not have realized it, but I actually followed you all the way. Until I saw you take out a dagger and point it directly at yourself."
Pipa was surprised for a moment, but then she felt relieved.
No wonder they appeared so quickly; they'd been watching quietly all along.
"He must look like a madman," Pipa said softly with a wry smile.
Shen Yun shook her head and looked intently into the boy's eyes: "You look very calm, like someone who has been trapped for a long time and is about to be freed."
He paused for a moment before continuing, "At that time, I saw you smile very softly."
Did I... laugh?
I don't remember at all.
Pipa subconsciously touched the corners of her mouth, which were no longer upturned, and lowered her eyes to say in a low voice, "Maybe, it might be a facial spasm. Lord Shen must know better than I do that a person's control over their facial muscles is actually very limited."
At that moment, Shen Yun stepped forward.
He reached out and grabbed the boy's wrist, forcing him to look into his eyes.
Including the unpleasant encounter at the Flower Moon Pavilion, this was the second time in the years they had known each other that Shen Yun had treated Pipa so rudely.
Nevertheless, his voice was not loud, and his tone was quite gentle.
"Do you really want to die that badly?" Shen Yun asked.
Pipa's eyelashes trembled slightly. Her gaze back showed little panic, but rather a calm question to Shen Yun: "Do you think it's polite for an adult to ask such a question?"
"..."
"Or perhaps, does the life or death of the loquat really have such a big deal to do with the adults?"
Shen Yun remained silent for a moment.
Pipa noticed the struggle in the other person's eyes, then suddenly chuckled and moved closer to the young man.
They were already very close, and Pipa practically tiptoed right up to Chen Yun's face.
Between breaths, he felt the pressure on his wrist increase.
Pipa didn't pay attention, but continued to look up at Chen Yun, at his handsome face that was pale and full of weariness.
How wonderful! A beautiful face, even if it looks a little haggard, only evokes pity.
The closer you get, the more you can smell the faint fragrance of plum blossoms on the other person, mixed with a faint smell of alcohol.
His deep lips pressed even tighter, and the slight furrow between his brows seemed to be a sign of his inner restraint, yet his body showed no resistance to the boy's approach.
Instead, a ripple-like turmoil appeared in his eyes.
The throat also moved up and down.
Pipa whispered, "I think I can hear Lord Shen's heartbeat. Thump, thump..."
Shen Yun naturally heard it too.
Looking at the unusually behaving boy, he felt he should stop there. But deep down, he was genuinely hoping for something more.
"Does Lord Shen like me? Does he like this body of mine?"
Pipa continued calmly, "She must like it, otherwise she wouldn't have pressed me down so hard that day."
He pointed to his lips with his free finger.
"Start from here, then the neck, shoulders, chest..."
With each place the boy mentioned, his deep, thoughtful eyes darkened further.
His breath seemed to grow hotter without him even realizing it. His eyes flickered, a hint of restlessness in them.
Judging by his face alone, he remained almost completely calm, except for the faint blush that had quietly risen between his ears.
Pipa spoke again, this time her breath gently brushing against the outside of Shen Yun's ear: "When Lord Shen is pressing me down and kissing me like that... do you feel comfortable?"
The answer is, of course, yes.
Shen Yun felt a tightness in her throat; the body's reaction doesn't lie.
He didn't know the other person's intentions, but he had to admit that he did like them and wanted them.
Shen Yun really wanted the person in front of her.
Whether it was that evening or this very moment... he wanted to kiss the boy, to tear off his clothes, to see that familiar face stained with alternating sweat and tears, to want to entwine with him like insatiable beasts...
He wanted him, to possess him completely, from soul to body.
Not just now, but from a much longer time ago, in that distant past he had long forgotten.
But--
Just as Shen Yun, like a bewitched prey or hunter, lowered her head to kiss those lips, the boy spoke again.
"But Chen Yun, it really hurts so much..."
Pipa said softly, her voice so soft it would dissipate in an instant without a breeze.
It was as light as a sleepwalker's murmur.
But Chen Yun heard it clearly.
He also recalled that day when the boy silently got up from the table and bent down to straighten his clothes.
Her clothes were torn, her hair was disheveled, and through the strands of hair, one could vaguely see the red marks imprinted on her smooth skin, some deep and some shallow, like clusters of crimson plum blossoms blooming on a human skin painting.
Plum blossoms are Shen Yun's favorite flower.
The flowers, red as blood, bloom in the snow and ice, so beautiful yet so clean and desolate to an unbelievable degree.
Shen Yun is a clean person.
It has always been this way.
However, the things he did never seemed to be clean enough.
Perhaps because his birth was based on a one-sided sacrifice.
The woman, hanging high above the roof beam, finally returned what she had forcibly obtained, with interest.
—And what about yourself?
Shen Yun thought to herself that perhaps she was still being too greedy.
Because he couldn't bear to part with it, and didn't want to.
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