Chapter 146 The So-Called Raft Analogy
Why must it be the devil?
In fact, Lan did not specify which perspective she was referring to when she asked the question.
But Pipa didn't hesitate to choose to identify with the devil in the story.
At this point, it would be fine to simply say that the conversation had been going on around this character all along, and that it was just a matter of habit.
But I don't know if it was because I was too tired, or simply because I lost the will to hide it.
The boy smiled and admitted, "Perhaps it's because we're in the same predicament."
The promises made by the devil in hopeless waiting, whether to repay kindness or to repay evil, may well be a form of comfort to himself.
It was as if as long as a reward was promised, someone would come to pay the price.
A disappointment that happens once every century, and the devil has gone through three centuries.
It felt disappointed, even enraged, and vowed to kill the person who would save it in the future, but still refused to say it outright.
Instead, they wanted that person to choose their own way of dying.
Although this could very well be a deliberate act by the author to showcase the fisherman's wit.
Let me also show you the devil's cruelty and cunning.
But as the listener of the story, Pipa only felt the pitifulness of that devil.
It's one thing for a devil to crave human approval, but in the end, he also pins his hopes on divine mercy.
—The good is hypocritical, and the evil is not thorough enough.
If all evil gods are like this, it's hard for Pipa not to suspect that the so-called god in the story is nothing special either.
Hearing the boy's evaluation of the gods in the story, Lan smiled: "Humans are always willing to start from themselves and fantasize about the deities' posture, good or evil, compassionate or cruel."
He spoke each word carefully, his gaze seemingly able to see distant, unknown landscapes through the flickering candlelight.
A breeze has picked up, and the shadows of the trees outside the window sway and rustle.
The flame flickered again, stretching the shadow on the wall into a gigantic, inhuman shape.
It was as if... those weren't their shadows, but some other living thing.
Up close, the young man's lips were still slowly opening and closing.
"Imagine a supreme being, grant it ultimate power and strength, while simultaneously keeping it firmly within your own sphere of understanding and using it for your own purposes. This is both an ignorant arrogance and a cowardly greed."
It's clearly just a discussion based on a story, yet it's still nonsense about ghosts and gods.
Pipa felt a sudden, inexplicable flutter in her heart.
It's happening again, that throbbing headache.
This time, however, it was stronger than ever before.
Something long forgotten is struggling to break free from its deep-buried memories.
A buzzing sound filled her mind. It was the first time Pipa had ever heard that vibrating buzzing sound outside of a dream. The rapid ticking sound was like an alarm going off incessantly.
Nevertheless, Lan's words still reached the boy's ears clearly, calm and composed with a hint of barely perceptible contempt.
"Until one day, humanity was no longer satisfied with that vain imagination—"
Teaching methods are like a raft...
Along with the young man's words, the old man's earnest sigh echoed in his mind.
Two voices, spoken in different times and spaces, rang in Pipa's ears simultaneously. In the interplay of reality and illusion, the scene of standing on high ground looking down reappeared before her eyes—there was no wind, and no fence.
All that could be heard was the deafening sound of a heartbeat and the frantic, chaotic breathing.
The taste of blood rose in my throat.
One step away is the abyss of no return.
The sand and stones rolled down at my feet, swallowed up by the darkness below in an instant before they could make a sound.
He was trembling, hesitating, his throat was dry, and his legs were weak.
Looking back, I saw a huge crowd of people behind me, and every familiar face now wore a hideous, demonic expression.
—And he was a lamb surrounded by wolves.
They will inevitably find it impossible to escape.
But... why fly?
If escape is inevitable, at least he can choose how he dies.
With that thought in mind, he jumped down without hesitation into the sand and gravel that was rolling down below.
You can still faintly hear vicious curses mixed in with the howling wind.
—But it's okay.
He struggled to hold himself tightly in mid-air.
It's okay!
It's just death; everyone who's alive will die eventually!
Like a mother, like Yuanxiao, or perhaps like himself... But if, if there really are gods in this world...
"Rather than passively waiting for divine mercy, the favor of the gods..."
If there truly are gods who can hear my call—
"They decided to create a god who would obey them."
I'm willing to pay any price, not even to live for myself, just to watch those wicked people die before my eyes, suffering the agonizing flames of hell, never to be reborn—
"For this reason, they even went so far as to alienate their own kind and build the altar themselves."
Even if it means giving up my soul and abandoning my body, even if it means having to endure the same suffering, I... I would do it willingly!
Thump thump thump—
At the same time, the boy who was dozing off on the desk suddenly opened his eyes.
As if sensing something, she turned her head to look into the distance, her gaze filled with a dazed and confused look.
Even though I was just sitting in the same spot, a strong, indescribable surge of emotion suddenly welled up in my chest.
There was resentment, there was pain, there was pleading...
The boy couldn't help but touch his chest in surprise, for he had never experienced anything like this before.
The boy remembered that he seemed to have just had a dream.
I dreamt that I was being chased and, with nowhere to turn, I chose to end it all.
—Was it really just a dream?
The boy chuckled inwardly. If anyone dared to bully him like this, he would certainly retaliate a thousandfold.
Moreover, given his nature, he wouldn't have waited until then; he would have already retaliated in kind.
Thinking of this, the boy couldn't help but shake his head.
It was just a ridiculous dream, yet I actually took it so seriously. How...
My arm was suddenly touched lightly.
Turning my head, I met the eye of the classmate next to me who was reminding me.
At the same time, I heard the teacher calling my name.
"Yu Qingzhou".
"exist."
"Has he finally returned from his spiritual journey?"
"I wouldn't dare."
"You seem to be sleeping quite soundly."
"..."
"Now that you're awake, let's explain this sentence to the students."
The boy followed the direction the other person was pointing.
It was clearly written on it—
Once the river is crossed, the raft should be discarded; upon reaching the shore of Nirvana, even the Dharma should be relinquished. Therefore, all teachings are called the raft analogy, signifying non-attachment to the Dharma.
For some reason, a shiver ran through me as soon as I saw those words.
The familiar voice of the old man rang in my ears again, a heavy sigh that sounded even more weathered than before.
Qingzhou, do you understand the principle of letting go...?
[Teacher, I am here—]
It seems you still don't understand.
Yu Qingzhou truly didn't understand.
The saying goes, "You can't get something without giving it up," but if you're willing to give it up, why did you have to get it in the first place?
Yu Qingzhou wanted to say something more, but then she saw the old man's sad departing figure.
He thought to himself that he had ultimately disappointed his teacher.
He should feel guilty and reflect on his actions.
But there was nothing there.
Yu Qingzhou pressed her hand to her chest, but it was empty; she couldn't feel anything.
"Look, isn't that the precious gem of Wuwang Peak?"
"Yeah, yeah, isn't he usually so high and mighty, looking down on everyone? Why is he so dejected now, like a drowning dog?"
"Shh, what are you saying? He's the headmaster's prized student, a prodigy. How dare we mediocre people point fingers at him?"
They're all so noisy...
Just as Yu Qingzhou was about to walk over and have a proper talk with those gossipy guys...
Someone spoke up first: "That's enough."
The boy with dark hair and dark eyes, and his fair skin, reminded people of the first snow on a sunny day.
—She's a beauty.
The boy's eyes were indifferent, and his voice was as cold as his expression.
Yu Qingzhou heard those people call the boy Shen Yun.
They all seemed quite wary.
"That's Shen Yun, right next door to us. I've heard she's a true swordsmanship genius."
Lan, who had just reminded Teacher Yu Qingzhou to ask a question in class, said softly.
As she spoke, a slightly smiling face appeared not far behind Yu Qingzhou's ear.
Yu Qingzhou was startled; President Lan always appeared and disappeared without a word.
"Genius..." Yu Qingzhou murmured the title to himself.
He couldn't help but glance over there, and was somewhat surprised to find that the genius himself was also looking in their direction.
His dark pupils were as deep as a cold pool after rain, making Yu Qingzhou feel as if she had been sucked into them in an instant.
"They've all left, but you're still watching."
Lan reached out and gently waved her hand in front of Yu Qingzhou's eyes, her gentle voice seemingly unintentionally tinged with a hint of teasing: "It can't be love at first sight, can it?"
Lan was just saying it casually.
Unexpectedly, Yu Qingzhou did not refute these words, but instead murmured softly, "...maybe."
In fact, Yu Qingzhou didn't know what love at first sight should feel like, but Shen Yun's dark eyes kept appearing in his mind.
Yu Qingzhou wanted to know what kind of formidable strength could be unleashed beneath that beautiful exterior.
Yu Qingzhou remained silent for so long that the smile on Lan's face gradually faded.
"You're not serious, are you?" Lan asked tentatively.
Yu Qingzhou nodded casually in agreement: "Yes, I'm serious."
Lan fell silent.
Yu Qingzhou clearly didn't notice the strangeness in the other person's emotions; he genuinely wanted to have a face-to-face spar with the person named Shen Yun.
However, arranging fights in private is not allowed.
If discovered by superiors, the consequences range from a demerit to being forced to resign.
Moreover, the old man's disappointed expression was still fresh in Yu Qingzhou's mind, so he dared not make any rash moves.
However, since then, Yu Qingzhou has begun to pay attention to the other party, intentionally or unintentionally.
He discovered that Shen Yun had actually been quite famous all along.
Strangely, Yu Qingzhou seemed to have no recollection of the past.
"That's because you're always daydreaming," Lan said softly. "If I hadn't greeted you, you probably still wouldn't know who your deskmate is."
That's absolutely right.
“But I have good grades,” Yu Qingzhou said earnestly.
Upon hearing this, Lan was taken aback for a moment, then chuckled softly with a hint of helplessness: "Alright, alright, I understand. You're the top student, with the best grades."
Upon hearing this, Yu Qingzhou was somewhat dissatisfied with his friend's perfunctory attitude. However, Lan couldn't help but laugh, clinging to him like a boneless koala.
To be honest, Lan is not heavy at all, and her clothes and hair are exceptionally neat, no less so than those clean girls. She even has a faint fragrance.
Yu Qingzhou didn't dislike Lan's approach at all.
But he just felt an inexplicable awkwardness, perhaps because—every time this happened, someone would cast strange and peculiar glances at them.
Unlike their previous blatant verbal provocations, these people always had a meaningful look in their eyes.
Yu Qingzhou disliked this very much.
But whenever he tried to go forward to investigate, Lan would gently tug at his sleeve.
Just like when reminding him to answer the teacher's questions in class, he looked very careful.
Upon receiving such information, Yu Qingzhou would usually stop pursuing the matter.
Because Lan is his only friend here.
Yu Qingzhou didn't want to put his only friend in a difficult position. As for the others, they didn't really matter to him.
His teacher had told him this a long time ago.
He is different from these people; they are destined not to walk the same path.
Since we're not on the same path, why create unnecessary complications?
Last time, Yu Qingzhou was also confused from sleep, which is why he thought of arguing with those guys.
Recalling the last time, Yu Qingzhou subconsciously placed her hand on her heart.
"What's wrong?" Lan asked with concern.
"It's nothing," Yu Qingzhou shook her head.
Unexpectedly, I bumped into Shen Yun at the corner the next moment.
Similar to when we first met, Shen Yun was still dressed in all black. However, with her fair skin and good looks, she looked good in any color.
As Yu Qingzhou studied Shen Yun, those cold, dark eyes also subtly scrutinized her.
Shen Yun knew Yu Qingzhou.
It should be said that everyone in this place knows the name Yu Qingzhou.
Since enrolling, the other party has been enjoying absolute resource allocation from top to bottom.
Of course, as the only direct disciple of the chief, Yu Qingzhou is indeed quite respectable in all aspects.
However, the main reason why Shen Yun noticed Yu Qingzhou was that they were both important participants in that project.
As for the person next to Yu Qingzhou... she was an unknown figure.
If I remember correctly, it was called Lan.
It looks ordinary from every angle.
It's unclear what Yu Qingzhou saw in the other person that led her to choose such a person as a friend.
Thinking of this, Shen Yun unconsciously frowned slightly.
As an observer, one shouldn't interfere excessively in another's life. However, Shen Yun needs an explanation regarding Yu Qingzhou's recent unusual behavior.
"Is this student's expression so strange because they are not feeling well?"
Yu Qingzhou was surprised that Shen Yun would take the initiative to talk to her.
Especially the questions that were originally meant to express concern, after being processed by Chen Yun's mouth, sounded strange in both tone and word choice.
For a moment, Yu Qingzhou was too busy being surprised.
Fortunately, he had Lan, the long-talking one, by his side.
"You should ask Junior Brother Shen about that."
"What?"
"Junior Brother Shen emerged from behind the wall without a word, dressed entirely in black with such a cold expression. How could it not be frightening to see him like that out of the blue?"
Upon hearing this, Yu Qingzhou couldn't help but glance at Lan again.
Seeing that the other party usually has a gentle and mild appearance, I didn't expect that when facing Shen Yun, who exudes an aura of not wanting strangers to approach, she not only was not intimidated at all, but even showed a sharp tongue that she didn't usually have.
Like a mother hen protecting her chicks.
He couldn't help but look at Yu Qingzhou with newfound respect.
Even so, Yu Qingzhou still felt that it was a bit too much.
So, imitating Lan, he gently tugged at the other person's sleeve.
Then he turned to Shen Yun and said, "I'm sorry, I was a little distracted and didn't realize what was happening. As for my friend, he only said those things out of concern for me."
But despite saying that, Yu Qingzhou felt that Shen Yun probably wouldn't care about these things.
After all, the other person didn't seem like the type to be petty or calculating.
Moreover, last time, it was Shen Yun who took the initiative to speak up and shut up those gossiping people.
—According to conventional definitions, Shen Yun should be considered a good person.
Yu Qingzhou thought, then silently added, "Hmm, a good-looking person."
Shen Yun noticed Yu Qingzhou's subtle actions and became even more certain of her earlier guess.
His subjects of observation seemed to have developed some unnecessary behavioral deviations, and the source of these deviations... was it that boy named Lan?
The depth of the essence is still uncertain.
But just as he brushed past them, he felt an unfriendly gaze.
When I actually looked back, what I caught was the scene of that guy named Lan smiling and turning his head to talk to Yu Qingzhou.
The two people in the picture seem to be standing a little too close.
From his perspective, there were even a few moments when Lan Kaihe's lips brushed past Yu Qingzhou's ear, but the latter seemed completely unaware.
Shen Yun frowned slightly.
I have a bad feeling in my heart, but I can't quite put my finger on it.
"Chen Yun, what are you looking at?"
A classmate passing by followed Shen Yun's gaze and suddenly realized what was going on. "Tsk tsk, no one else is this blatant."
He paused, then lowered his voice and said, "However, what can you do when they're the head of the household's precious darling? They certainly have nothing to fear."
"What do you mean?" Shen Yun raised an eyebrow slightly.
Seemingly amused by the boy's earnest and inquisitive demeanor, the student was taken aback for a moment, then burst out laughing.
"That's true. It's normal for a top student like you, who's always buried in his studies, not to know about those shady things. To put it bluntly, it's just about those things between men and women..."
Shen Yun didn't immediately understand: "Male or female?"
The classmate seemed to realize something, slapped his forehead, and said, "Hey, look at my mouth, it's that... that thing... right, homosexuality! You top student, you should know what homosexuality is, right?"
Shen Yun naturally knew what homosexuality was.
The question is, is this even possible?
Is it possible for a heartless person to fall in love with just anyone, regardless of gender?
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