Chapter 19 I would never like a plain and ordinary brat like you.
The day after the winter solstice, I woke up crying from a dream.
Overwhelmed by an indescribable sorrow, I sobbed softly from my throat.
In my half-awake state, it seemed as if someone was calling my name, again and again, in a very soft voice.
I was in a daze and forgot where I was, thinking I was lying on my bed in my own mud house. So, the person watching over me and calling my name while I had nightmares could only be—
"mother--"
With my eyes closed, I rushed into the embrace of my mother in my memory, like a bird returning to its nest.
However, unlike what I expected, this embrace was neither warm nor soft enough; it felt hard, like suddenly hugging a large block of ice.
Especially the flat area where the head rests.
Was it my posture that was wrong, or was my position off?
—This feel is completely different from what I remember.
Undeterred, I turned my head and rubbed it around again.
Instead of finding the feeling I remembered, I smelled a sweet fragrance that I had never smelled on my mother before.
The taste was somewhat like pear chunks scooped out of sugar water, mixed with the flavors of pastries and candies, with a vague sense of déjà vu.
As I smelled it, the more familiar it seemed, the more I couldn't help but frown.
"Hmm, this smell... it seems to be..."
"Like what?"
Before I could come up with anything, a voice suddenly rang out right next to my forehead, chilling me to the bone, like a block of ice hitting my head.
I suddenly opened my eyes, abruptly let go, pulled back, and then slammed my butt against the wall.
Then, looking at the young man in blue robes opposite him, who was tilting his head back with a pained expression, he instantly went from sleepy-eyed to terrified, and then to completely bewildered.
I was about to ask a question when, before I could even utter a sound, I started to slur my breath. After the gauze used to stop the bleeding was removed, I felt like something was missing from my mouth.
After hesitating for a moment, I decided to cover my mouth with my hand and speak, just like I did yesterday.
I looked around and made sure I was in the room where I had slept the night before, but it seemed that Young Master Lan was not in the room at the moment.
"Why is Young Master Li here? Why is Young Master Lan nowhere to be seen? And—"
As I poured out my doubts, I turned my gaze back to Li Xiao. When I met his gaze, which was half-resting his chin and looking at me with a deep, mysterious look, I couldn't help but pause.
"Young Master Li, are you... having a toothache?"
I think this conjecture is quite reasonable. Just imagine, why would someone like Li Xiao, who has a sweet tooth, suddenly hold half of his face in his hands and put on such a displeased, stepmother-like face?
If I told everyone it was because of a toothache, no one would doubt me.
However, upon hearing this, Li Xiao's face, already etched with displeasure, darkened even further. She retorted irritably, "You're the one with a toothache, your whole family has toothaches."
Faced with this resentful but not particularly aggressive cursing, I silently nodded in agreement, specifically regarding the first part of the sentence.
“Young Master Li, you are wise. Loquats do indeed cause toothaches, and not only toothaches, but also tooth loss. Just last night, two of my front teeth fell out. You saw it with your own eyes. There’s no faking it.”
I spoke with utmost sincerity. After I finished speaking, I briefly removed my hand from my mouth and raised my head to show the dark, empty space inside my mouth.
"..."
Perhaps moved by my sincerity, or perhaps remembering the copper coin wrapped in a cilantro dumpling that had knocked out my front teeth, Li Xiao fell silent.
There was an indescribable meaning in her gaze as she looked at me.
I think that was probably sympathy.
Overall, Li Xiao's anger seemed to have subsided considerably.
I blinked and asked readily, "Since it's not a toothache, then Mr. Li, what is it...?"
Li Xiao glanced at me for a moment, then suddenly leaned closer.
As mentioned above, my buttocks were already pressed against the wall in my previous helplessness, so if I step back now, I will press my back, neck and the back of my head even more firmly against the wall.
Li Xiao reached out—he raised his wrist, gathered a little strength, and then snapped his knuckles against my forehead.
The sound was really loud, and the pain was really real.
As I covered my forehead, tears welling up in my eyes, Li Xiao casually flicked his wrist, looking at me with a half-smile, and said, "So, kid, you're not made of steel after all. You do feel pain, don't you?"
I had both hands over my head, so I didn't have any free hands to speak. I could only look at Li Xiao with puzzled eyes, trying to get an answer.
Li Xiao, arms crossed, raised his slightly reddened chin at me with a matter-of-fact expression: "Playing the victim won't work. This is what you owe me. Who taught you to keep banging your head against my face with that blockhead? If you really cause any harm, what will you use to compensate me? Yourself?"
At this point, the boy paused, a look of suspicion suddenly appearing in his eyes. Then, his expression hardened, and he took a half-step back, revealing an expression of disbelief.
"So that's what you were planning all along?! You've been plotting against me all along, knowing you're not good enough for me, so you've been trying to find ways to give yourself to me in a roundabout way..."
—I'm numb.
I sat on the bed without moving for a long time in one position... my legs went numb, and my whole body went numb as well.
Regardless, I still can't understand what's going on in Li Xiao's head.
If I'm a blockhead, then what is Li Xiao... a winding corridor? Is this the kind of person who thinks so much, because they have too much money and are bored out of their minds?
I silently watched Li Xiao, who, as if he had discovered some earth-shattering secret, suddenly stood far away from the bed and almost sent himself straight out the door.
I watched him turn his back and pace back and forth in the room, occasionally turning his head to give me a fierce glare.
How should I put it? He suddenly seemed to become a bit neurotic.
I also vaguely heard him muttering something under his breath. No wonder... playing hard to get... it was intentional, something like that ambiguous phrase.
Although this person has never been entirely normal since I first met him, he has now clearly gone too far.
Previously, I was unable to speak, but now I have truly given up on communication.
I'd rather watch Li Xiao go crazy here, putting on a one-man show.
It would be better to wash up and go out to ask the other people in the building if they know where Young Master Lan has gone.
Who knew that as soon as I moved to the edge of the bed, with one foot barely touching the ground, I heard Li Xiao shout from not far away.
"Don't move!"
Goodness, that powerful shout almost made me kick my shoe off my feet.
I looked up at it for no apparent reason.
Li Xiao probably realized that the commotion was a bit loud. He coughed lightly, composed himself, and then asked me mercifully what I had been trying to do.
Hearing him ask that question made me even more confused.
What can I do?
Get out of bed, wash up, find someone, eat, do chores... do whatever you want, you can't just stay in bed all the time.
So I reached out and made a grasping motion, waved it near my lips, and then raised both hands in front of me, palms facing inward, as if washing my face.
Unexpectedly, Li Xiao, who often couldn't understand human speech, understood it immediately.
"You said you want to get out of bed to wash up?" Li Xiao asked tentatively.
I nodded, then looked at the other person, waiting for the next instruction.
After a while, Li Xiao waved his hand and said, "Alright, although your methods were a bit clumsy, at least your intentions were good. I'm a magnanimous young master, so I won't hold it against you."
Upon hearing this, Li Xiao decided not to pursue the matter any further. He put on his shoes and was about to fetch water to wash up when he was stopped by the other person from behind after taking only a few steps.
...Is there anything else?
I turned my head away, keeping my eyes open without saying a word, but I'm sure Li Xiao could tell what I was thinking from my expression.
He said somewhat displeasedly, "Why are you in such a hurry? I still have something to say."
So I stopped and stood there waiting for Li Xiao to continue.
Seeing this, Li Xiao coughed lightly again before saying, "Although I have decided not to hold your clumsy methods of getting close to me against your will, there are still some things I need to say upfront."
At this point, the boy paused slightly, glancing at my expression, seemingly oblivious to anything amiss. He then covered his mouth with his hand and coughed lightly.
"From now on, you are not allowed to come within three feet of me without my permission. Of course, I know that some things, especially people's feelings, cannot be easily changed, but you should know that one-sided affection has no future."
"..."
"I like girls who are good-looking, have personality, and are smart. They don't need to be too tall or too short, preferably a little shorter than me. They should be strong, have lots of hair, and smooth skin, ideally like a marshmallow, fluffy and soft to hold..."
Before I knew it, the conversation had shifted from Li Xiao's admonition to a detailed description of the criteria he would use for his ideal partner.
Seeing how engrossed the boy was, I couldn't leave, but I really didn't want to say anything.
I could only stand there silently, listening casually with one ear to the other. But for some reason, the more I listened, the stranger it seemed.
Like a fluffy, soft marshmallow... Is this really a metaphor used to describe humans?
Moreover, once you put Young Master Lan into this setting, the eerie feeling immediately doubles.
Although Young Master Lan is indeed refined, fair-skinned, and handsome, Li Xiao is not the burly type. On the contrary, he is a handsome young man with red lips and white teeth. In recent times, due to his rapid growth, he looks much thinner and more frail.
I began to suspect that either I had some misunderstanding about Li Xiao, or Li Xiao had some subtle cognitive bias about the world, including himself.
After what seemed like an eternity, Li Xiao finally stopped his speech, as if he were satisfied. He waved to me, who was pretending to listen attentively but was actually daydreaming and completely absorbed in his own thoughts, indicating that I could go about my business.
"Alright, now that I've said all that, you should understand that I will never like a plain and ordinary brat like you."
—Oh, that's wonderful.
I numbly thought to myself, at this moment I am hungry and my legs are numb from standing, so I naturally look listless.
However, in Li Xiao's eyes, the same scene appeared as me being saddened by his harsh rejection and unable to hide my disappointment.
Because of this, his attitude towards me seemed to soften a bit.
When I finished washing up and came back, Li Xiao was already sitting down at the table. There was rice porridge and several delicate side dishes on the table. The rice porridge was steaming hot and still emitting white smoke.
When he saw me coming over, Li Xiao raised his hand to beckon me over as usual, and then asked me to sit down at the table.
I hesitated and didn't do it immediately.
Li Xiao frowned slightly as she looked at me: "Is there a problem?"
I thought for a moment, then spread my palms out to show the distance between us, then held up three fingers in front of my eyes, and finally shook my head at my own hand.
This time, Li Xiao reacted quickly as always: "Is it because the distance can't exceed three feet that you're not coming over?"
I nodded, my innocent face radiating sincerity.
Li Xiao tilted his head and chuckled: "How interesting, you only heard half of it and only remembered half of it. So you have no recollection of me at all without my permission?"
I hesitated, then nodded, then shook my head. Strictly speaking, I had heard him say that, but I just hadn't remembered it in time.
Seeing that I seemed confused, Li Xiao didn't bother to waste any more words with me. He simply leaned over and pulled out a chair, gesturing for me to sit down.
This time, I looked at the rice porridge in front of me, sat down without any further trouble.
The rice porridge smelled delicious, and after cooling for a while, the temperature was just right.
It can be said that it greatly comforted my body and mind, which had been constantly ravaged by accidents since I woke up.
Li Xiao was also very satisfied.
She even brought up the whereabouts of Young Master Lan at the dinner table.
"Brother Lan went to sweep the tombs," Li Xiao said casually.
I didn't even have time to swallow the last grain of rice before I looked up in surprise.
From the snippets of conversation I overheard, the Lan family's misfortune must have occurred at the end of spring this year. Young Master Lan's relatives must have also met with misfortune at that time, neither on their anniversary nor during Qingming Festival, a time suitable for ancestor worship.
So……
For whom was he going to pay respects, and why was he doing so today?
Li Xiao saw the doubt in my heart and smiled calmly, "It seems that you don't know that Brother Lan actually has a younger sister who died young, right?"
That... I naturally don't know.
When I met Young Master Lan, he was already Young Master Lan of the Flower Moon Pavilion.
Young Master Lan was gentle and friendly, yet also polite and distant. Despite being in this filthy world of pleasure, he seemed to be nothing more than a detached bystander.
Young Master Lan treated me extremely well; he was a living bodhisattva who saved me from dire straits. At the same time, he patiently taught me like a kind older brother, teaching me to write and the principles of life.
I know that, as Li Xiao said, there are many ordinary little devils like me in this building alone.
Among so many pitiful people who had no choice in their own lives, why was I the one chosen? I am both grateful and terrified.
Such a gift, given so easily and without cause, would naturally not require any reason or time to be taken back if one wished to do so later… It is something that the young master could decide with a mere thought.
Therefore, since Young Master Lan refuses to mention his past, I will not ask him a single question.
—I don't have any unnecessary curiosity.
But that didn't stop Li Xiao from eagerly telling me about it.
Of course, it didn't stop me from silently pricking up my ears and listening carefully whenever I heard anything related to Young Master Lan.
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