Chapter 192 Pregnancy Dream
That night...
Pipa had no idea what happened after that night.
He slept a very deep and restful sleep, which naturally resulted in a series of chaotic dreams...
Pipa felt her soul suddenly leave her body, enveloped and plunged into a bottomless darkness. All sorts of sounds and images... suddenly slipped away from her, like tiny, agile fish swimming by.
It seemed within reach, yet he could never grasp the truth within it.
The loquat itself is like a floating waterweed, without purpose or direction.
In the chaotic darkness, amidst the flow of sights, sounds, smells, tastes, touches, and mental objects, it gradually fades, becomes transparent, and eventually dissipates into countless tiny specks of dust hidden within...
He forgot who he was.
Or perhaps, who he is is no longer important.
After all, even if dust has a name, it is still dust.
However, these tiny particles, almost indistinguishable from dust, can form one of him, and naturally, they can also form the millions of other things in the world besides him.
Then he saw himself turn into a handful of soil buried underground at some unknown time.
One day, a bird flew by and dropped a fruit that was pregnant with new life.
The fruit took root in the soil, and it became that sprouting bud.
After a not-so-short wait, the bud finally broke through the shackles of darkness and grew into a thin sapling.
Only then did he have the opportunity to truly see the land to which he was rooted... although as a tree, he could never grow eyes in the true sense of the word.
He found himself living in a corner of an unfamiliar courtyard, and it was the first time he had 'opened his eyes' to see the world as a tree.
A high sky, a low wall, and a listless girl in a small, fenced courtyard.
The first sound he heard was the other person's silent sobbing.
Strangely, although he was a tree, he instantly understood the girl's feelings. It was as if... as if he had once existed as one of her kind.
There probably is.
As a tree, he had forgotten his memories of being human. Yet, at the same time, he remembered the moment he awoke from the depths of darkness as a handful of earth.
Therefore, based on this, if he really was ever born as a human being, it must have been in the extremely distant past...
He was not able to think about this issue much.
He heard the girl let out a small gasp, so he looked over and saw her swollen, red eyes staring wide-eyed at where he was.
At that moment, in his mind—he didn't know if a tree actually had a brain, but let's just call it that for now.
The word "walnut" popped into his head.
Indeed, he thought the girl's eyes looked like two walnuts at that moment.
The metaphor popped into his mind very naturally, followed by a feeling of cuteness... He genuinely thought that the way the girl stared at him blankly was incredibly cute.
Even if her eyes were swollen from crying, even if her face was excessively pale.
But it's still cute.
He savored this novel feeling, then belatedly realized that he had been discovered—
Loquat.
He heard the girl murmur incredulously, seemingly surprised by his appearance: "There is actually... a loquat seedling here."
After hearing the girl's words, he realized that he was actually a loquat tree.
And because of the other person's slightly surprised tone, he felt pleased with the fact that he was a loquat tree, especially when those swollen, tearful eyes were staring at him with hopeful eyes—
He was even somewhat flattered.
And so, he transformed from a handful of nameless dust into a loquat tree. Although, strictly speaking, loquat tree isn't really a name.
But it seems that because of this... he began to feel needed.
Because the girl seemed to regard him as one of her own, someone she could confide in.
He then gleaned some information from the other person's fragmented words.
For example, the girl wasn't a native of Nancun—oh, right, Nancun is the name of the village they lived in.
The girl came from a distant, prosperous city where she had relatives and friends. Her decision to leave her hometown and come here was not voluntary.
It was an accident.
The girl didn't elaborate on the specifics of the accident. And as a tree, he couldn't very well ask her anything.
The days passed peacefully, one after another.
Of course, this tranquility applies to a single tree.
After all, there are so many troubles in the world, and even within this small village, there seems to be an indescribable complexity, even more complicated than its branching roots.
He could hear a cacophony of noises simply by remaining motionless and quiet in the corner.
The sounds of men shouting and cursing, women sobbing, children wailing and laughing, dogs barking, chickens crowing, and occasionally the faint, mournful sound of drums and gongs from a traditional opera performance...
In comparison, the small courtyard where he was located was the quietest.
Because there are only two people in this family.
One was a young girl with swollen, red eyes whom he had just met. The other seemed to be the girl's husband, a young man who appeared to be honest, always with a blank expression and rarely spoke.
Unlike other men in the village who would beat their wives at the drop of a hat, the young man did not beat his wife until she screamed.
But he could tell that the man was no good either, judging from the girl's crying when they first met and the iron chains deeply embedded in her flesh.
The girl was trapped and imprisoned in this small courtyard.
Although it had a pair of feet, because of the rustling iron chains, invisible roots extended from its feet.
Trees grow roots to absorb nutrients from the soil, but what about humans?
As a tree, he had finally managed to dig out a phrase from the depths of his memory: "fallen leaves return to their roots." But this phrase was only for people nearing the end of their lives, and it was completely unsuitable for a young girl in the prime of her life.
Furthermore, even if fallen leaves are meant to return to their roots, it shouldn't be here, it shouldn't be in Nancun...
In that instant, a thought suddenly popped into his nonexistent mind: if only he could help her, help her leave the village, and bring life back to her gradually lifeless face.
If only that were the case...
But it's just a thought.
As a tree, it takes root in the ground, and whether it likes it or not, it stands there day and night, for as long as it lasts, until the moment it dies.
This is the destiny of a tree, part of the laws governing this world.
He had no complaints about it, nor did he feel the slightest injustice. He just felt a little regretful, regretful of his powerlessness.
As the days went by, he watched as the girl's complexion gradually turned from pale to sallow.
The girl appeared in the yard less and less.
He could only glean from the scattered conversations coming from inside the house that the other person seemed to be sick. He was somewhat worried, but other than that, there was still nothing he could do.
One day, an old woman dressed in red and green rushed into the courtyard, and after a short while, she was very politely invited out by the male homeowner.
That was the first time he had ever seen such an undisguised expression of joy on the young man's usually dull face.
The old woman who received the red envelope from the young man smiled even more, her triangular eyes crinkling.
With silver teeth, he kept saying congratulations, saying that the family would soon be welcoming a new member.
[It's definitely going to be a big boy.]
The old woman said with great joy, then paused and adopted a more experienced tone.
"Alright, nephew, don't worry too much. Once a woman becomes a mother, she'll always think about her child... Besides, she's already given birth, what else is there to think about? The child is her root; if she stays here, where else can she run off to? She can only stay and live a good life."
Upon hearing this, the young man looked thoughtful, then said, "Thank you for the advice, Auntie. I'll need your help again then."
The old woman laughed heartily: "Hey, there are no outsiders in this village. Besides, just based on our nephew's character... he can't be wrong."
Looking at the two people in the courtyard, the loquat tree could tell that the guests seemed to be having a great time.
He also noticed the half-open window revealing a girl's face—swollen, blank, and completely devoid of the lively appearance he had seen when they first met.
He showed not a trace of anticipation for the child that was about to arrive in the family.
Upon seeing this, a great confusion suddenly arose in his mind—why could the joys and sorrows of people differ so greatly, both inside and outside the house, in the same space and time?
As a tree, he could not speak, let alone ask questions; he could only silently observe everything.
As spring turned to autumn, he never saw the girl leave the house again, nor did he hear her say a word.
If it weren't for the occasional clanging of chains and the sound of breaking dishes, he would have thought that the girl had left the courtyard sometime during the night.
Later, as the weather gradually turned cold, probably one day in late autumn, he suddenly felt lonely.
He felt even more bewildered and helpless than when he first woke up underground, completely unaware of what was happening, and faced with the chaotic darkness.
That window hasn't been opened for a long time.
He didn't know if that window would ever be opened again.
In the cold and loneliness, he fell into a deep sleep, or perhaps to use a more accurate expression... hibernation.
Compared to animals that can move independently and store up food and shelter for the winter in advance, the hibernation of a tree is dangerous and passive.
If they happen to encounter a rare, harsh winter, they might freeze to death.
—But what if they really freeze to death?
Life and death are preordained, and lifespan is determined by Heaven. Since we are born into this world, we should be aware of this.
Even as human beings, we are still capable of cherishing life and fearing death.
But as a tree, he has absolutely no say in the matter.
Not to mention his past self, who was nothing more than a handful of dust, never to be seen again. As for what happened before that, he didn't remember, and therefore had nothing to say...
So even if he doesn't survive the winter, he'll just return to dust.
The worst possible outcome is simply returning to the starting point, so what's so scary about that?
Aside from... not being able to hear the girl's gentle voice again, there's a slight sense of regret, but it's only a slight regret...
He fell asleep with those feelings in mind.
He thought he would hear the howling wind, the barking of wild dogs, or some other random noise while he was half asleep.
But no, he slept exceptionally soundly that night.
I didn't even feel the slightest bit of cold.
Thump—thump thump.
The sound of drums, seemingly coming from nowhere, reached his ears. It was so clear and close, yet it didn't bother him at all. Instead, it brought him an unprecedented sense of peace and comfort.
In a state between dreaming and waking, he seemed to have returned to the time when he was in the dark underground, patiently accumulating strength and waiting to break through the soil.
However, compared to that complete darkness, the area he was in now was warmer and safer, and even gave him a sense of déjà vu.
But no matter what I do, I can't remember, and I don't want to think about it.
Until that day, he woke up again from his dream and suddenly found that he had left the place in his dream.
Blinding light filled the air, and a huge black shadow loomed over him. For the first time, he felt fear, pain, unease, anxiety... Countless negative emotions intertwined in his fragile heart as he experienced all of this for the first time.
The next moment, a weak cry escaped from his open mouth.
mouth……
That's right, it's his mouth.
But how can a tree grow a mouth, or even let out a faint cry?
When he finally understood what was happening, he had become a baby... a human baby.
More accurately, he became that girl's child.
As a human infant, he doesn't wake up for long periods. When he does wake up, he mostly acts on his body's instincts, including eating, excretion, crying, and laughing...
Do children really know what joy and anger are?
What he saw was just a moving, making-sounding lump of flesh, yet he was also that lump of flesh itself, which was very strange.
He could feel the fear and satisfaction emanating from this body, and he could also clearly feel the process of transmission itself.
His strongest and closest connection with this physical body was probably the moment he was born.
The abrupt severing of his previous state of ease, the feeling of being forcibly plunged into a strange world, awakened a deep-seated, indescribable, yet unforgettable fear within him…
He thought that the source of that fear was probably a long-forgotten memory.
As the physical body he was attached to grew, new understanding gradually overshadowed old memories, which then began to fade into hazy, indistinct images.
And so the scales began to tip...
He was no longer sure whether those memories of trees were just his own delusions and fabrications.
In particular, he did see that tree, that little loquat tree growing in an inconspicuous corner—it was alive.
Because the tree is alive, he cannot be a tree, so that dream can only be a dream.
So, he really is his mother's child... Just think of it that way...
Because if he thinks that way, he can justify living on...
—But, since I am a loquat.
So who was the second body in the grave?
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