Chapter 202 Going Home
The loquat closed its eyes.
Until that scene, like an old painting, gradually faded from view and melted into the all-too-familiar darkness—the darkness after death and the ignorant moments before birth.
If a person can live well and live life to the fullest, then a lifetime is enough.
Living is an endless cycle, constantly teetering between life and death. While alive, one is already infinitely close to death, and even after death, one can never find peace. This is perhaps a torment with no end in sight.
This kind of torment, if given a nicer name, could actually be called immortality.
People generally believe that longevity is desirable.
Those who are happy want to stay happy for a long, long time.
Those who are having a bad time always think about how they can find a chance to turn things around in the future.
Those who live mediocre, aimless lives may not cherish life enough, but they will still fear death. Even if they don't know the benefits of living, they know that what everyone strives for and cannot obtain must be good.
Life is an unknown journey... whether smooth or bumpy, joy, anger, sorrow and happiness vary.
What seems like a predictable future might come to an abrupt end due to unforeseen circumstances.
And adventurers who seem to have experienced many ups and downs may unexpectedly find themselves with a peaceful end in their old age.
—I forget who said it, but a person's life is actually all about preparing for the moment before they die.
But for Pipa or Yu Qingzhou, no matter how well they prepared, that moment would never come. They were trapped in the cage of reincarnation, rising and falling, going through countless twists and turns, yet ultimately unable to escape.
The good thing is, the cage is big enough.
If one is careless or negligent, taking everything for granted and busily following the crowd forward, one may never realize it in one's lifetime.
Unfortunately, he was so stupid and foolish, he didn't understand social etiquette, and he didn't know how to go with the flow.
They always have their eyes looking around, and when they see something that catches their attention, they can't help but stare at it.
People shouldn't get stuck on trivial details.
It's not because people's hearts are fragile and can't withstand such scrutiny—it's actually this world that's truly fragile.
It's like someone suddenly having a whim to stare at a familiar face a couple of times.
At first, it just felt a little unfamiliar. But after looking at it for a while, something really started to feel off.
Why is this face so strange?
This person couldn't help but think that he undoubtedly recognized this face, could clearly recall the owner's name, and knew the other person's personality and preferences...
Even at the first meeting, the other person had their hair wrapped in a white towel and sported a hairstyle that closely resembled the image of an Arab, perhaps a little fatter or thinner, darker or lighter than they are now.
But without a doubt, the other person was indeed someone I knew.
At this very moment, in the eyes of the observer, this face has become completely unfamiliar.
Eyebrows, eyes, nose, mouth, ears... each of these important components of facial recognition is fine on its own, but there's something different about them.
The world is the same.
As long as you grasp one point, even if it doesn't actually become a loophole, when you look up again, everything seems to have undergone a complete and earth-shattering change in secret, without the observer's knowledge.
Loquat was constantly troubled by this feeling and could never get rid of it.
Because this feeling comes from inside his body.
It's like a seed that's dense but doesn't sprout.
It took root and sprouted silently.
By the time he became aware of it, it seemed as if his flesh, his mind, and even his bones were wrapped with these dense, silk-like tentacles.
To peel it away, one must first tear open one's own flesh, dig open one's own nerves, and break through one's relatively hard bones—then the person will be surprised to find that even his bone marrow has been invaded by the tentacles of this thing, turning into a dense and sticky existence like a spider web.
This person is destined to fail to achieve their wish, because they have become one—the seed and the person parasitized by the seed as nourishment and soil, so closely intertwined, as if they were born that way.
Therefore, if we want to completely eradicate this accidental seed, we must first kill the host it parasitizes.
Even if you separate the seed from the flesh and blood, and pick out all the tentacles from the brain and from the crevices of the bones, you can still see the seed.
—And so, the host died.
And this seed might survive for a while longer.
If by chance it encounters a suitable parasite during this period, it will successfully parasitize it.
Then the remaining flesh and brain matter of the previous host, and perhaps a few scattered traces of consciousness, will be integrated into the current host, more or less, but certainly to some extent.
Thus, a thrilling escape from nothing to something, from danger to safety, was achieved, and a transmission of will was completed... from the first person who noticed something was wrong, to the successors.
This is actually somewhat similar to Ah Liu and his group's situation, except that Ah Liu and his group were themselves passed on as seeds.
The loquat, on the other hand, is closer to that container.
Memories, doubts, and more memories took root in his mind and body, carrying the flesh and blood of countless so-called predecessors, and through endless cycles, they would feed back to his past self at some point in the future.
This is how he became who he is today, and it also created countless versions of him that exist in the future and the past, and in different points of reincarnation...
My head was throbbing more and more, as if it were about to split open.
Pipa involuntarily bent over, panting heavily. At the same time, he felt a warm, wet sensation suddenly well up where his palm was covering.
That sticky and slippery texture was all too familiar.
Blood……
Pipa didn't expect that the eye she was covering would bleed.
As he realized this, he suddenly remembered something from the past, which shouldn't have been too distant—he guessed this, though he himself wasn't entirely sure.
In short, when he visited Li Xiao in the dungeon, the latter suddenly bled bright red blood from his eyes in a fit of emotion.
It's like that time even earlier, at the Hidden Immortal Sect... What was it for back then?
Right, it's that restriction.
Although Li Xiao disliked Yu Qingzhou at that time, he had to go against his conscience and try to please her because of the restriction, and even felt a strong dependence and longing for her.
Ultimately, hatred prevailed, and the boy suffered the backlash of the restriction, enduring immense physical and mental torment.
On that very day, Yu Qingzhou was preoccupied with how to complete the handover and get rid of this hot potato as soon as possible, and didn't notice that she had forgotten to apply medicine to the other party's eyes.
And so, that horrifying scene unfolded.
I never imagined that this feeling would be so painful...
He had already experienced it once before, but perhaps because his heart and mind were filled with hatred, or perhaps because there were few other parts of his body that were intact at that time.
It's not like now, when the pain is so intense, like having my flesh cut open, so agonizing.
But that's not all, because the loquat suddenly sensed that within the warm liquid, there seemed to be a clump of soft and elastic flesh.
At this moment, the almost spherical mass of flesh seemed to be about to succumb to the pressure, wriggling outwards and squeezing his palm.
That is—
Pipa felt a tremor in his heart, because he recognized it clearly; that familiar touch was definitely an eyeball.
The eyeball popped out...
Just like before when someone fell from a height and was in a near-death state.
No, strictly speaking, it was just a hallucination based on memories, but at this moment it feels like the real thing.
Why...why all of a sudden...
Pipa clung to the last shred of reason, searching for answers in her aching mind.
Why……
"Well, have you thought it through? Are you sure this is your life's wish?"
Even though it was unbearable and my ears were filled with a noisy buzzing, I could still hear the voice coming from above me with perfect clarity.
His tone was calm and quiet, as if he were asking a terminally ill patient if they had any unfulfilled wishes.
That was his own voice, belonging to that Yu Qingzhou... and so on.
A sudden flash of inspiration struck Pipa's confused mind—why was there an extra version of herself?
Yes, there is indeed one extra.
The loquat reminisced about everything that had happened along the way.
The fragmented images of death reappeared before his eyes—if before his attention was focused on the tragic deaths of each and every one of himself.
At that moment, Pipa's gaze shifted to the blurry figure in the corner.
The familiar yet unfamiliar face gradually became clear, and the similar, bloodied and mangled faces were reflected in the drooping eyes.
At that moment, he met himself... But no matter how close he got to the edge of life and death, he couldn't hide the fact that he was still on the side of life.
In other words, at that moment, two identical leaves appeared in the same time and space scene. According to what the other party said before, such a situation could not have occurred.
If... if the other party is indeed not lying, then it can only mean one thing.
They do not exist in the same space-time, or at least not in the same dimension, so the other party can ignore the constraints of the rules.
A being that transcends the cycle of life and death, possesses power greater than that of humans, an inconceivable being... perhaps not entirely accurate, but at this moment, the only term Pipa can think of is God.
No... the concept of God is too arbitrary; there should be a more accurate and suitable definition.
That is—
Once the river is crossed, the raft should be discarded; upon reaching the shore of Nirvana, even the Dharma should be relinquished…
[...the face of a man-made god must originate from humanity.]
[You have great potential... Junior brother, you have the potential to become a 'god'.]
The voices rang out, and the past and present lives slowly rotated, finally freezing on that crucial frame.
Pipa suddenly raised her head and looked into those seemingly gentle but emotionless eyes, and saw that the small figure in them also opened and closed its lips at the same time.
"You are... that artificial god."
He forced out a hoarse but firm voice from his throat and shut his mouth. He stared intently at the other person's reaction, his breath already thick with pain and the smell of blood, yet he held his head high without the slightest thought of backing down.
At the same time, somewhat inappropriately, he recalled the teachings that Young Master Lan had once given him. He remembered that the other man had said not to bow his head easily, and to become a very good and capable person in the future… It seemed that achieving both of those goals was too difficult for him, so choosing one of them would be barely enough to not completely disappoint the other man's expectations.
After all, even though I'm in excruciating pain, I'm still holding my head high...
"An artificial god."
The young man repeated Pipa's words in an extremely calm tone, as if he was not surprised at all by what he was seeing: "It seems that there is indeed such a name."
These words undoubtedly confirmed Pipa's guess.
After the young man finished speaking, he paused, as if he had thought of something. A businesslike approving smile suddenly appeared on his usually calm face, as if to acknowledge his 'younger self'.
"If only I had been this perceptive when I was younger," the young man murmured, expressing regret, though his tone didn't betray much remorse. "I probably wouldn't have been so easily fooled."
"..."
To be fair, this artificial god is quite frank, making no attempt to hide his past foolishness.
As Pipa was lost in thought, she suddenly realized that she didn't feel as bad as before. Meeting those still calm eyes, the latter nodded, confirming Pipa's guess.
"As an extra reward," the young man said, adding, "You're welcome."
"..."
Pipa realized that the other party clearly had no intention of being polite to her.
How could he remember that the prerequisite for creating a god is being heartless, rather than being stupid?
Although it might not be the right time, Pipa subconsciously reflected on her usual behavior. It didn't seem that strange... Could this be the price of becoming a god?
The artificial god on the other side, after uttering that meaningless polite remark, remained silent, watching this side quietly, as if waiting for something.
What are they waiting for?
It was nothing more than a dying wish.
Pipa lowered his hand from one eye and immediately felt more warm, sticky liquid flowing from his eye socket, even dripping onto his face, but he didn't reach out to catch it.
Although the pain has subsided, the damage to the body has not been repaired; instead, it shows signs of gradually collapsing.
Pipa thought with some regret, "It seems this time will be the same."
"Can you tell me why this happened?" Pipa asked.
“Collapse,” the artificial god said.
"Oh...it's still somewhat novel." Pipa didn't even know what nonsense he was spouting. He opened his mouth, wanting to ask the people outside, but then thought better of it.
Even if we knew, what could we do?
He can't even protect himself.
Weak, incompetent, and passive... He really hated himself like this. He wasn't impressive at all. Not to mention the artificial god opposite him... he couldn't even compare to a healthy ordinary person he randomly picked up on the street.
However, if the price of becoming a 'god' is to transform from a piece of wood, as some young master described, into a real clay sculpture, it doesn't seem to be what he wants.
So... his wish is...
“I want to go home, back to where I truly came from,” Pipa said, still holding her head up, but her gaze shifted slightly downwards, landing on the left side of the young man’s chest, before she gave a not-so-pleasant smile on his blood-stained face.
"Don't you want to get your heart back?"
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