Chapter 28 On that day, Young Master Lan still did not return.
All I know for now is that the boy in black is surnamed Shen.
The boy's father seemed to be deeply involved in the downfall of the Lan family, and even became the culprit in the incident according to Li Xiao.
However, compared to Li Xiao's righteous indignation, Young Master Lan himself seemed to have no ill will towards the young man from the Shen family.
Comparing the two, it seems that Young Master Lan, as the person involved, has let go of everything—at least on the surface—while Li Xiao, an outsider, is still holding a grudge, which inevitably raises questions.
Considering Li Xiao's reaction when he encountered the Shen family's young man outside, and his extremely disdainful attitude when mentioning him, it seems that in addition to standing up for his friend, there is also some personal grudge involved.
Could it be... a love rival?
A thought flashed through my mind, like a bolt of lightning in the night.
My heart skipped a beat for no reason, then started beating faster and faster at a more intense pace.
Thump thump—thump thump—
I instinctively clenched my fists, and my palms quickly became damp with sweat, but I had no idea where the sudden feeling of bewilderment and tension in my heart came from.
—Is it because of Young Master Lan?
Because I secretly cherish the warmth and care that Young Master Lan is currently giving me, I'm afraid that someone who suddenly appears will steal all his attention and make me lose everything I have now... Will that be the case?
—No, that's not it.
From the moment I first had the idea of secretly trying to bring Li Xiao and Young Master Lan together, I had already anticipated this possibility.
To be honest, if it really happened, I would definitely be disappointed, but I wouldn't rule it out.
It was originally Mr. Lan's act of kindness that saved me from that dark and hopeless life.
He was a bodhisattva made of jade, yet he was roughly thrown into the mud. Luckily, he didn't sink, and he still retained his compassionate and pure white appearance, not minding that I, a tiny, homeless ant, briefly lingered in his outstretched palm.
Even though I am not entirely virtuous, how could I possibly be jealous of someone who might have given me the same rare light and warmth that Young Master Lan has given me, just for my own selfish desires?
I just... don't know why I'm always thinking about that dream.
As soon as I close my eyes, the scenes from my dream seem to be still vivid in my mind.
A woman in black stands holding a sword, while red plum petals fall gracefully, fluttering like falling red butterflies.
She smiled and leaned closer, our foreheads touching, our breaths mingling. She called me "Junior Brother" and tied the red hair ribbon I had given her tightly around her hair, saying that no matter what she looked like, Junior Brother would always be the same.
He also asked if she remembered saying she wanted to become Daoist partners with her senior sister.
She talked and talked, and finally, she stood under the red plum tree, swaying and waving at me. The sword in her hand disappeared and fell into my hand.
There was snow, blood, and someone's tears on the sword—by the way, I woke up crying.
When I woke up, I was very sad, but I didn't know who or what I was sad about.
It was just a dream... My senior sister doesn't exist, and the "me" in the dream doesn't exist either.
Because I am a loquat, not a Yu Qingzhou.
I think it must be because I saw the heavy snow for the first time yesterday, and was deeply moved. I was also captivated by the sight of the dashing young man riding his horse through the snow. So, what I thought about during the day, I dreamed about at night.
As for why the boy outside the dream turned into a woman in the dream, if you have to explain it, it's because dreams are inherently illogical.
As we pieced things together, the only thing that didn't make sense was the face of the woman in the dream...
In yesterday's fleeting glimpse, separated by the swirling snow and the distance between the upper and lower floors, I didn't actually get a clear look at the details of the boy's features.
I only had a general idea in my mind, that he was a good-looking boy.
That's why I felt such a huge turmoil in my heart when I suddenly saw what the other person looked like.
—They look so alike.
Even twins may not look that alike.
Whether it's their physique, appearance, or overall demeanor, they are almost identical, like two people in a mirror...
"Tch, just eat it if you want. Why hesitate like that? It looks so stingy. A pear is just a pear. Even if you cut it into flowers, it's still just a pear. It'll just spoil if you leave it too long. It won't turn into gold."
Li Xiao seemed very dissatisfied that I was staring blankly at the rabbit-shaped pear slice, thinking that I was really admiring it too much to take a bite, just as I had said.
I looked up at him.
When I saw him huddled in the satin quilt, wrapped up like a colorful giant rice dumpling, with only a small opening at the top revealing his serious face, I almost couldn't help but burst out laughing.
"What kind of expression is that?" Li Xiao was even more dissatisfied. Even through the blanket, I could imagine that he had his arms crossed by now.
"No, it's just that seeing how warm and cozy Young Master Li looks, and knowing that you'll get better soon... makes me happy for you, Young Master," I replied with a smile.
Seeing my calm demeanor, Li Xiao still believed me, muttering softly, "At least you have a conscience."
They didn't seem inclined to hold onto the matter any longer.
Perhaps due to his physical weakness, Li Xiao seemed much more approachable than usual. The room was filled with the warm glow of the heating, creating a peaceful and quiet atmosphere that was almost drowsy.
An idea gradually began to take shape in my mind, and it grew stronger as time went on.
—Perhaps I can try to learn more about the Shen family's young man from Li Xiao.
Of course, bringing it up directly is definitely not an option. If things go wrong, not only will the rare peaceful atmosphere be shattered, but given Li Xiao's temperament, even if he temporarily appears sickly and listless due to a cold, he could still use his last bit of strength to throw me out of the house.
At that point, he won't see it and won't be bothered, but I won't be able to bear the suffering.
As I was thinking to myself, I picked up the pear piece on the skewer and put it directly into my mouth. Then I felt my upper gums suddenly feel a sharp pain, followed by a tingling and soreness in my scalp.
Oh, I forgot... I'm missing two front teeth now. I can't bite into it, so I can only stuff the whole rabbit into my mouth and chew it on the side.
Well, to be fair, these pears are quite sweet.
Unlike apples or bananas, even the sweetest pear flesh seems to have a slightly cool and sour taste near the core.
The sourness isn't very pronounced, but it's just enough to balance the other flavors, preventing it from being cloyingly sweet.
Because my train of thought was interrupted, the eagerness I had felt to know about the Shen family's young man seemed to suddenly dissipate.
Then it turned into a faint self-deprecation.
I'm someone who can't even take care of myself, yet I'm eager to inquire about a stranger I've only met twice.
—Even if we knew more, so what?
Background, name, personality, hobbies, experiences... even if all these things were laid out in front of me, it would still be nothing more than the life story of a stranger.
It wouldn't allow a boy to suddenly transform into a woman—the dream person who merely flashed through one's mind and instantly threw one into disarray was not him.
After letting go of those unnecessary thoughts, my heart immediately calmed down, and I even felt a sense of peace and tranquility that came from letting go.
Li Xiao said, "Why are you laughing all of a sudden?"
I was quite puzzled: "Why does Young Master Li keep staring at my face for no apparent reason?"
If Li Xiao hadn't said anything, I wouldn't have even realized that I had just laughed.
The boy retorted, "Besides me, you're the only other person in the house. If I didn't look at you—"
He paused for a moment, seemingly feeling that his explanation lacked force, and then changed his tune: "What's wrong? This young master can look at whomever he wants. Do you think you, little brat, have to tell me what to do?"
"As for Young Master Li's affairs, Pipa naturally wouldn't dare to interfere, nor could she," I replied calmly, my tone obedient and respectful.
Hearing this, Li Xiao was clearly pleased and turned his head to give a soft snort through his nose: "That's more like it."
“But…” I looked into his sleepy eyes and said earnestly, “Young Master Li, do you really not need to rest for a while? You just told Mr. Ajiu this yourself.”
"I...I just said it offhand. They were too noisy, and I found it annoying, so I made up an excuse to send them away. I let it go, but you actually believed me."
Li Xiao defended herself in a low voice, then looked at me with some amusement: "And what's with that Mr. Ajiu?"
I hesitated for a moment: "That... gentleman with the thick beard, I just heard his companion call him Ajiu, isn't that his name?"
To everyone's surprise, Li Xiao's smile became even more unrestrained upon hearing this.
"You think everyone is like you... Why is your name 'Loquat'? Why not 'Orange' or 'Pear'? Your parents, who could give you such a name, must be rare geniuses."
"..."
Hearing the words "father" and "mother" casually uttered by the boy felt like being pointed at and suddenly stabbed hard in the heart.
I stopped talking, not because I was angry.
My familiarity with Li Xiao made me almost immediately certain that the other party was simply being sarcastic and not intentionally targeting anyone.
So I simply don't know how to continue the story in this situation.
If Li Xiao hadn't mentioned my mother, I could have just gone along with the conversation as if nothing was wrong, laughed it off, and then let it go.
...Just like I always do when he calls me an idiot or a moron.
But now, I really can't do it.
Li Xiao didn't hear my response, so he squinted and leaned closer to look at my expression.
We each held a blanket and sat on either side of the bed, separated by a small lacquered wooden table used for placing snacks. He leaned almost his entire upper body against the table, and with his movements, the blanket that was tightly wrapped around his head was pulled back, revealing slightly messy hair.
It was the first time I noticed that Li Xiao's hair ends were actually slightly curled, especially the part near the ends.
"Why aren't you saying anything? You're already not very pleasing to the eye, and now you're all sullen. Are you angry with me?"
"We don't have loquats," I answered truthfully.
But Li Xiao seemed dissatisfied with the answer. He was convinced that I was hiding something, so he insisted on getting to the bottom of it.
I got a little too close, and a soft breath brushed against my face, adding a hint of the bitterness of medicine to the original sweetness of the pear.
I blinked and leaned back subtly.
Because I remembered the last time our faces were almost this close, it seemed that Li Xiao caught me at the corner of the stairs and then unilaterally made a bet with me to play some kind of game called "Red Light, Green Light," but then deliberately interfered in the middle.
Then, because of a sneeze, he bumped his nose against my forehead. Although it sounds absurd, in reality, he did move his nose first.
The result was predictable.
That's how I learned that the seemingly arrogant and domineering young master Li actually had a problem with fainting at the sight of blood, and that he was quite ill with it.
So, it seems I was secretly cursing Li Xiao before he sneezed that time.
However, in the ensuing chaos of war, Li Xiao didn't think to investigate further.
They probably forgot about it afterward.
Looking back now, it's clear that Li Xiao was right – he was incredibly accurate at sensing when others were secretly criticizing him behind his back.
What are you hiding from?
Li Xiao laughed, and that malicious feeling seemed strangely familiar.
I swallowed hard and said calmly, "Pipa didn't mean to dodge, but was afraid that she might accidentally bump into your nose again, Young Master Li."
"..."
Li Xiao's smile froze.
“It must have hurt a lot to hit your nose. And given your current condition, if you lose so much blood and faint again, it will definitely be even more unbearable… Young Master Li, you don’t want Mr. Jiu and the others to worry about your health any longer, do you?”
"..."
A noticeable crack appeared in the smile that had been frozen on Li Xiao's face.
He slowly retreated, stopped laughing, pulled the blanket back over his head, then turned away, refusing to communicate with me in any way.
Looking at the large, brightly colored rice dumpling leaning against the corner, I inexplicably sensed a hint of loneliness emanating from it.
And I finally let out a soft breath.
Thinking about Li Xiao, he realized that he was quite similar to Chang Li, whom he used to tease about his figure and point out his mistakes and scold him—both were very childish.
This is probably why, even though Li Xiao can be really outrageous at times, as long as he hasn't crossed certain boundaries, my worst feeling towards him is just dislike.
You can even occasionally notice his cuteness.
With a personality like Li Xiao's, if given the right guidance, he should grow into a very good adult.
The person who takes on this mentor role should possess at least two qualities: first, the qualities of a teacher, and second, the ability to make Li Xiao obedient... For example, Young Master Lan.
Thinking of Young Master Lan, I subconsciously looked towards the doorway.
This room is separated from Young Master Lan's room by only one wall. Now that the room is so quiet, if someone comes back from outside, they should be able to hear the noise if they listen carefully.
However, I never heard the sound I was waiting for.
Several groups of people came and went in and out of the room to add or replace teacups and coal, all of them coming and going quietly.
Perhaps following the orders of the manager, they moved very carefully, without disturbing Li Xiao, who had already fallen asleep.
I looked at him sleeping soundly and reached out to tuck the blanket around him, which kept slipping off in his sleep.
As the light filtering through the window gradually dimmed, I watched as the sky outside darkened.
My anticipation gradually sank.
...That day, Young Master Lan still did not return.
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