Chapter 30 He actually touched my palm while he was asleep with his eyes closed.
Perhaps it was because this was the first time in my life I had slept with someone other than my mother, so I tossed and turned for a while, feeling uncomfortable in some way.
Once I close my eyes and try to hypnotize myself, I imagine myself still lying on my wooden bed at home, with my mother lying next to me in bed—
That faint scent, a blend of sweet pear and medicinal aroma, would suddenly pull me back from the shaky entrance to my dream.
As my eyes gradually adjusted to the darkness, I shifted my gaze from the slightly swaying windowpane to the sleeping boy.
Li Xiao was asleep, and sleeping very soundly.
I vaguely remember that he should have been facing away from me before he went to sleep, but at this moment I can miraculously see half of his face peeking out from under the covers.
Illuminated by the faint light shining in from outside, it was almost glowing white.
My hair, which I had let loose before bed, peeked out from under the covers, some sticking up in clumps, others curled up in a messy, disorganized way.
Compared to his hair, the boy's sleeping face was remarkably well-behaved. His eyes and mouth were tightly closed, and he neither snored nor ground his teeth.
Judging from her tightly pursed lips and slightly furrowed brows, she didn't seem to be sleeping soundly; she was probably dreaming.
Seeing this, I couldn't help but chuckle, thinking to myself, "As expected of Young Master Li, he's even competing with people in his dreams."
To be honest, Li Xiao is quite carefree. Not only did he sleep so soundly outside, but he also left me here. Was he sure I didn't have the guts? Wasn't he worried that I would take advantage of his sleep to seek revenge?
With that thought in mind, my hand had already quietly reached out.
It brushed past the blanket separating us, reaching all the way to Li Xiao's cheek. Just as it was about to touch him, I couldn't help but stop.
It was a spur-of-the-moment decision made entirely on the spur of the moment, since the other person was sound asleep, and I hadn't really thought about what I was going to do.
Should I pinch his face, flick his forehead, or pinch his nose to wake him up suddenly with difficulty breathing...? If I did that, I might not be the only one suffering from insomnia during the long night.
I thought to myself with a touch of schadenfreude, but then I was slightly surprised by my own thoughts.
...When did I develop this tendency to drag others down with me when I'm unhappy?
After thinking it over, the only thing I can do is learn from the young master Li in front of me.
—The saying goes, "One who stays near vermilion gets stained red, and one who stays near ink gets stained black."
Lan Gongzi is such a good person, so what he can teach me is naturally the principles of life... Unlike Li Xiao, who always says sensational things to scare people, is petty, has a bad temper, and is simply too willful.
However, he is quite righteous and treats Young Master Lan well. It's just that... his health is really weak. After winter came, his hands felt like they had no life force to touch. He is not only anemic but also faints at the sight of blood. He almost faints on the spot if he sees any blood.
Is such a person really someone you can entrust your life to?
If in the future, Young Master Lan and he really fall in love and get together, what if Li Xiao were to accidentally die...
Wouldn't that add another sad thing to Young Master Lan's life?
Young Master Lan has already lost so many family members; there's no reason for him to suffer the pain of losing his lover again.
Therefore, the best person to ultimately stay by Young Master Lan's side is someone who loves him wholeheartedly and whom Young Master Lan also likes. And very importantly, this person must be incredibly resilient and absolutely cannot die before Young Master Lan.
They are supportive partners and devoted lovers who share the same heart. They can grow old together, walk hand in hand through a long, perhaps ordinary, but certainly warm and peaceful period of time, and finally pass away hand in hand...
As I pondered these thoughts, I gradually felt drowsy. Perhaps it was because the vision was so beautiful, so perfect for us to drift off to sleep together on a snowy night.
Suddenly, I felt a cool, tingling sensation in the palm of my outstretched hand.
I was startled, and my hair went numb instantly. The sensation was so eerie that I thought some long-legged insect had crawled past me from the darkness.
Upon closer inspection, it was discovered that it was actually Li Xiao's hair.
Before I could even calm myself down, a new sensation came from my palms and fingertips. The cool, soft, and smooth touch of human skin, accompanied by warm breaths on my wrists—it was… Li Xiao's profile.
The boy's head had somehow poked out from under the covers again, perhaps unconsciously sensing the nearby heat source.
He even touched my palm while he was asleep with his eyes closed.
It even rubbed its face against it, just like... just like a kitten or puppy tilting its head up and acting cute.
This was undoubtedly the first time in my life I had encountered such a situation. What was even more bizarre was that the person who made this move was actually Li Xiao... the person who had once said that he would make me his dog.
That's really strange.
I can't quite describe the complex emotions welling up inside me right now. There's surprise, embarrassment, a touch of novelty, and even a tiny bit of excitement... but there's absolutely no discomfort or resistance.
So, this is really strange.
—This is how I perceive the unconscious actions of a teenager.
—And this is especially true of me right now, who doesn't feel any dislike for the other person's actions whatsoever.
Could it be that I've always harbored resentment towards Li Xiao for making me his dog, without realizing it... which is why I readily accepted it?
That must be it.
I told myself, this must be it.
Otherwise, there's no way to explain why, despite being treated this way, I felt a faint sense of joy deep inside.
I belatedly realized I wanted to pull my hand back from there.
Before he could make a move, his entire hand and wrist suddenly sank downwards, and he was pressed down under the boy's head.
I was completely stunned.
Try to exert force outwards secretly without waking Li Xiao.
But Li Xiao's head was much heavier than I thought. My back was sweating, but Li Xiao still rested heavily on my hand, without moving an inch.
I let out a breath and had the idea of waking Li Xiao up.
He reached out his other hand, ready to push the person awake.
Only after pushing him did I realize that Li Xiao really only looked thin. When he actually lay down, he was so heavy and sluggish that he was still breathing. He really looked like a fresh corpse.
I was half-sitting, supporting my body with the arm that was being pressed down, with most of my body exposed outside the blanket so that I could exert more force when pushing.
Although charcoal was still burning inside, it was still somewhat cool.
I sat quietly in the dark, staring intently at Li Xiao's sleeping face—if there were a third person in the room watching all this, it might be quite terrifying.
I don't know what I was thinking at the time.
It's probably that magical state where you miss out on a rare bout of sleepiness, your body is desperately thirsty for sleep, but your mind is unusually excited.
His mind was a jumble of thoughts, trying to figure out the most vicious way to wake the boy from his dream.
His body remained still, like a lurking beast watching its unsuspecting prey.
After a long while, I suddenly shuddered.
Like someone who has been sleepwalking for a long time, suddenly pulled out of a nightmare. I silently lay back down and silently pulled the blanket tighter around myself... It was just too cold.
As my body temperature gradually returned, my drowsiness unexpectedly returned.
That night, I didn't have any of those strange dreams I used to have.
There was neither a fall from a high platform, nor an endless ladder in the snow, nor a woman in black wielding a sword.
I only vaguely remember that I was doing some kind of hard work.
It seems that a very large stone mortar is used to mash baskets of pears into a puree.
After finally finishing most of the work, there was only one last step: to find a heavy stone to weigh down the lid of the large jar containing all the fruit puree.
I quickly selected a suitable stone, thinking I would lift it up and place it on the jar in one go.
Unexpectedly, when I first picked up the stone, it seemed okay, but as I lifted it higher and higher, the stone seemed to get heavier and heavier.
In the end, I just couldn't hold on any longer. Not only did I lose my grip on the stone, but a falling rock also pinned my entire hand down, and I couldn't lift my arm no matter what I tried...
When I woke up, the arm that had been sticking out before I went to sleep was back inside the covers.
The tingling, numb pressure seemed to linger in my muscles, leaving me feeling listless and lacking energy.
Li Xiao had gotten up early and was having breakfast in the outer room.
Unlike the lazy and idle young master I had imagined, he didn't seem to have the habit of sleeping in late.
I thought he must have had a good rest, judging from how well he slept last night.
But what you can see is the same listless face.
Two listless people met at the table, and it was as if they saw their own reflections in each other.
I thought his cold had gotten worse.
As it turned out, Li Xiao said that he was almost fully recovered, and the reason he was like this was because he hadn't slept well last night. As he spoke, he glanced at me almost imperceptibly.
—It's as if the culprit who kept him up at night was actually me.
His serious demeanor left me completely bewildered.
Wait a minute, could everything that happened last night just be a vivid dream...? But my arm is still so sore I can't lift it.
However, I soon realized what was going on.
The direct cause of Li Xiao's lack of sleep was a stiff neck—though it was actually my arm that he used for most of the night.
Because of this, Young Master Li felt that I bore an unshirkable responsibility for his stiff neck.
I was confused. Shouldn't this be blamed on him for sleeping too soundly, having a bad sleeping posture, and not noticing that he rolled off the pillow?
In short, whether my arm is there or not, Li Xiao's neck is going to suffer.
—Okay, no matter what the faults are, it's all our fault as subordinates.
I said to myself.
After greeting them, I moved to the seat reserved for me and sat down, quietly consuming my porridge. You can use a spoon to drink porridge; it's not a problem if you don't use your preferred hand. It's just a bit slow.
I was slowly sipping my porridge when a plate of milk cake was suddenly pushed in front of me.
"Just drinking porridge won't fill your stomach." Li Xiao said casually.
I glanced at the milk cake; it was tender, fragrant, and steaming with white vapor, as if it had just come out of the pot. Then I looked at Li Xiao, who was already engrossed in eating.
I noticed that Li Xiao was eating a bowl of red bean dumplings, with a semi-transparent base of fermented rice wine, topped with some bright yellow osmanthus flowers and plump orange-red goji berries.
I think Li Xiao really likes to eat this kind of sweet and sticky food... even the sweet dumpling soup the night before last.
Although he verbally expressed his disgust, in reality, most of it ended up in his stomach.
Young Master Lan ate some, but not much. He was always like this, only taking small bites of whatever he ate, never indulging in food. It was impossible to guess what he actually liked.
I've been by his side for almost half a year, and I still have absolutely no clue about Young Master Lan's dietary preferences. It's as if he treats everything the same, without any particular preference whatsoever.
In comparison, Li Xiao is much easier to understand.
He wouldn't touch a dish he didn't like, but when he came across something he liked—usually desserts—he could order a whole table of them repeatedly without ever getting tired of them.
I stared at the other side, lost in thought about random things, and before I knew it, I was in a daze.
Li Xiao noticed my gaze, paused in her eating, and asked me, "Do you want to eat?"
He seemed a little surprised, but I really don't like things that are too sweet, so I declined honestly and thanked him for his previous kindness.
The milk cake did indeed smell as good as it did, and it even had a slightly salty taste, which surprised and skeptical me.
However, I didn't say anything and just ate in silence.
After a while, while I was still dealing with the food in the bowls and plates, Li Xiao had already finished her breakfast and was watching me awkwardly holding my spoon from across the table.
One spoonful of porridge, one spoonful of milk cake, then another spoonful of porridge, and so on, in a continuous cycle.
“You should have woken me up yesterday,” Li Xiao said somewhat abruptly.
...I actually called out to you, and even made a move, but you were sleeping too soundly to wake up, young master.
I answered silently in my heart, of course I couldn't say it out loud.
Li Xiao thought I had endured having my arm as a pillow all night because I was afraid of offending him... Well, if you interpret it that way, there's not much of a problem.
So, I followed his lead and replied, "Young Master Li, you're too kind. This is just a small matter for Pipa, and you don't need to take it to heart."
I'm telling the truth. My arm is sore, which is one thing, but whether or not I should care is another.
In this building, it's perfectly reasonable for a guest to sleep with their entire body pressed down on them, let alone just having their arm pressed down on them for a night.
I heard a rumor in the building that someone was once crushed to death under the body of a large, obese guest.
It is said that his death was extremely gruesome, with many things inside his body flowing out, including soup and water, which seeped into the bed.
Later, the customer paid some money, and the poor man was wrapped in the quilt that had been under his body when he died and dragged to a mass grave to be abandoned.
That's all.
Compared to this, what is an arm that has gone numb from sleeping?
I finished speaking clearly and ate my fill, then stood up and started clearing the table. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Li Xiao pursing his lips, looking conflicted and lost in thought.
When I put the cleaned dishes on the tray, ready to place them outside the door for someone to take them away.
Li Xiao suddenly called me to a stop, and I obediently stopped what I was doing, turned around, and listened attentively to what he had to say.
“I thought…” Li Xiao hesitated for a moment, then finally continued as if she had made up her mind, “I thought we—”
This time, however, before he could finish speaking, there was a sudden, urgent knocking at the door.
The emotions he had painstakingly built up were interrupted. Li Xiao cursed under his breath, then shouted at the door with barely suppressed anger, "Knock, knock, knock! What are you knocking for? Why are you knocking so loudly? I'm not deaf!"
The knocking outside stopped abruptly, as if startled, and fell silent.
A moment later, the steward's somewhat cautious voice rang out: "Young Master Li, please calm down. It's about Young Master Lan and his group..."
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