84. Pain
◎I really fell in love with Ji Ci◎
Chapter 84
After the delay on the road, Jiang Qiuye returned to Shengjing half a month later. As the weather warmed, the flowers in Shengjing bloomed more and more vigorously, but she had no mood to appreciate them.
After entering the city, she brought her little white horse and galloped all the way towards Prince Qi's mansion. When she arrived at the mansion, it was already the end of the You hour.
"The princess is back." The palace gate opened, and Uncle Fu immediately bowed and came forward to greet her when he saw her.
Suppressing the restlessness in her heart, Jiang Qiuye got off the horse without saying a word. She gradually quickened her pace and galloped straight towards Guihongyuan.
When she reached the door of the study, she stopped, took a deep breath, adjusted the hairpins on her head, straightened her clothes, raised her hand and was about to push the door open but hesitated.
After putting her hand down, she pulled up her clothes and smelled it. A faint smell of sweat came to her nose. When she turned around, Uncle Fu followed her slowly.
"Princess, I haven't had time to tell you yet that the prince went to the Ministry of Justice this morning and hasn't returned yet."
The anger in my heart gradually subsided after Uncle Fu's words.
She had been so impatient to return to Shengjing these days, fearing that she might miss him and cause trouble. Just now, when she had rushed to the study door, she suddenly felt timid again. Now, Uncle Fu's words made her start to rethink things she hadn't considered in recent days.
She originally thought that the situation was extremely serious, but now thinking calmly, perhaps the situation was not as bad as she expected.
She asked the maid to prepare hot water for her. After being a savage for several days, she finally had a comfortable bath in the hot water. After washing up, she changed into Ji Ci's favorite moon-white silk gauze dress, half-tied her hair with a simple jade hairpin, and then went into the kitchen to watch the cooks prepare a table for dinner.
Looking at the time on the clepsydra, she guessed the time he would return, and then stood at the gate of the palace and waited quietly as usual.
The moon was bright and the stars were sparse, and it was already dark when Ji Ci returned home.
The first person he saw when he got off the carriage was his wife standing at the door. She had a delicate face, her lips slightly parted, and dimples on her cheeks.
Under the moonlight, the light was like flowing water, slowly wandering across her forehead, like a dream shrouded in a veil. Mottled and uneven black shadows fell around her, sparse and graceful. Although it was a full moon, it still seemed a little fake.
Neither of them moved when they saw each other, but the cloud in her eyes made him observe her carefully for the first time. It was an unknown amount of time before he realized she was standing in front of him. He lowered his head slightly and saw that she, who was a head shorter than him, raised her eyebrows and smiled softly.
"My husband is finally back. I've been waiting for a long time. I'm sure you're hungry. Would you like to have dinner with me?"
Ji Ci was a little confused. There was no guilt or uneasiness in her expression, and no worry that everything had been exposed.
He didn't answer, but Jiang Qiuye didn't care. She just smiled and took his hand. Seeing that he didn't refuse, she put more strength and took him to the mansion.
During the meal, Ji Ci said nothing, and she was also very quiet, spending most of her time serving him food. He ate whatever she picked up.
Unlike what she said to the emperor, Ji Ci's condition is now 90% cured, and most of the time he can eat normally without the need for medicated food.
This makes her very satisfied.
Seeing him finish his meal, she also stopped, looked at him softly, and whispered, "Husband, you are not angry now, right?"
"Angry?" Ji Ci looked at her with a somewhat angry smile, "Qiu Ziye, how long are you going to keep pretending?"
Could this be dismissed as "angry"? Killing Susu wasn't enough. She'd promised him she'd be a good person, yet she'd also murdered Zhao Wan'er. Now, he strongly suspected she'd killed more than just Susu, the three stalkers, and perhaps even more. Who else?
"Husband?" Jiang Qiuye seemed puzzled by his attitude. "Ye'er did kill Susu, I admit that, but didn't you say you wouldn't pursue the matter further? And Zhao Wan'er, she wanted to harm me first, and I didn't kill her, so that doesn't count as breaking my promise, right, husband?"
Ji Ci was so shocked by her words that he didn't know what to say.
Her expression remained unchanged as she continued softly, "My husband left me alone and returned to Shengjing. Now that so much time has passed, his anger should have subsided. Zhao Wan'er loves my husband, and I can see that. I was just jealous of my cousin before, but now it's all because I care about my husband."
He sneered, "Care? Do you really care? Have you ever counted how many times you've lied to me?"
Jiang Qiuye lowered her eyes for a moment, then raised her hand and took off her gauze top, revealing her porcelain-white skin. Ji Ci was stunned. He didn't expect her to do such a thing in front of the servants and in public.
He immediately waved his hand, and Uncle Fu and the others lowered their heads, not daring to look at the two men, and immediately left the dining hall with their backs bent.
She didn't care at all. She simply took his hand and gently placed it on the scar on her chest. The raised skin was different from the surrounding white skin. It was ugly, rough, and tinged with a deep red. Under his fingertips, there was the mark of someone who had risked her life for him.
His hands and body froze, his emotions were churning, and he didn't know how to express himself.
Jiang Qiuye pressed down his palm, letting him completely wrap himself around her. She smiled faintly and said, "Husband, can't you see whether Ye'er truly cares about me? What about now? Can you feel it now?"
Ji Ci frowned at the touch of his hand, pulled it back from her soft spot, and said in a low voice, "Put on your clothes!"
"Okay." She slowly put her top back on, tied the laces, and acted like a well-behaved and obedient person.
He calmed himself down, looked back at her gentle face, and said in a deep voice, "Ye'er, have you ever lied to me?"
Before she could answer, he continued, "Imitating handwriting, dodging secret guards, killing a tiger single-handedly, and having such outstanding archery skills, aren't you going to explain all this?"
Jiang Qiuye blinked her peach blossom eyes and said without any panic, "Husband, is this important? Does this mean that you don't want Ye'er anymore?"
She moved closer to him and said softly, "Husband, you love Ye'er, right? You said it yourself. Ye'er also loves you, husband. Ye'er can't live without you. As long as you don't abandon me, that's enough. Nothing else matters. As for what you said, I'm sure you can do it. If you can do it, why can't I?"
"Brother Jian Xi, do you really... not want Ye'er anymore?"
Ji Ci found that facing her who was so stubborn, he was getting more and more troubled and had no way to deal with her.
He had been a student of great Confucianism since childhood, reading the teachings of sages, formulating laws, and always being strict with himself. But the wife he personally proposed to marry, the only woman in his life, was a murderer without moral values.
Killing innocent people simply for personal gain.
He even bent the law for her own benefit and threatened to send Zhao Wan'er away. Even now, he was still looking forward to something that might be impossible.
He pushed her away from him, stared at her intently, and said disappointedly, "So even killing and harming people doesn't matter, right?"
Jiang Qiuye paused for a moment, then smiled and looked at him. "It's just that Chen Susu died. Zhao Wan'er didn't die either, she was just wounded by an arrow. That's nothing. Didn't your husband also kill County Magistrate Gao without asking for permission first? Not to mention the white bones on the battlefield. As long as Brother Jian Xi still loves Ye'er, nothing else matters."
He was stunned, sneered and shook his head.
He didn't know how to refute it.
But at this moment, he realized that the woman in front of him was not normal at all, and it might not be an exaggeration to describe her as a lunatic.
madwoman.
She was selfish and had no good intentions. I thought she would regret being caught with her. But it turned out that she had no regrets at all. Perhaps her only regret was that she hadn't been careful enough and let him see her.
And she, even now, is still avoiding the question when answering his question.
After years of illness and numbness in his heart, he is only twenty-three years old, but he seems to be in his eighties.
It was she who tore open a wound, soothed the fishy smell that had tormented him for years, and stirred the blood that surged through his body. Since when, everything about her had been affecting his emotions, her beauty and delicateness seemed to bring him back to his glorious past, to his younger self.
His heart, his body, everything was throbbing with her. He had expected so much from her, and now he was disappointed.
He finally realized that the woman he fell in love with was a complete madwoman.
At this moment, he found that he didn't even dare to ask her about the three men who had been dismembered, nor did he dare to ask all the doubts he had these days, nor did he dare to tell her that he was sending people to Wuzhou to personally investigate her identity.
After struggling for a while, he could only grit his teeth and ask, "Ye'er, have you ever lied to me before?"
She pursed her lips, pinched her palms, did not avoid his gaze, and shook her head slightly.
Ji Ci nodded with a wry smile, stood up, raised his hand to stop her from following him, turned around and said in a stagnant voice: "It's getting late, Princess, please go to bed early. I still have official business to attend to, so I'll return to the study first."
After a pause, he said slowly, "Don't worry. You once risked your life for me, and you worked hard to cure my illness. You will always be my princess. I bent the law for your sake and sent Zhao Wan'er back to the south. No one else will know what happened that day. I have done my best, and there will be no next time. Whatever the future holds, you will take care of yourself."
He finished speaking with difficulty, slowly clenched his hands, and then he no longer paid attention to Jiang Qiuye and left the dining hall directly.
There was silence all around. A gust of wind blew in from outside the door, lifting a few strands of hair.
She seemed to have lost all her strength as she sat back on the round chair, the smile on her face completely gone, and her heart was bitter. At least she was still his princess, and she was still by his side.
She shamelessly took advantage of his innocent love and guilt.
She was in a daze for a long time. When she returned to her bedroom, the lights were off and she didn't change her clothes. She just collapsed on the bed, paralyzed and unable to move at all. She was extremely tired after all the tossing and turning.
For some reason, the wound on my heart, which had long since healed, suddenly began to ache.
She raised her hand and rubbed the scar, but the pain lingered.
Why does the wound hurt so much?
What happened to her?
"Jiang Qiuye, you are so stupid that you don't even know that you are moved."
"You're doing this for yourself. You're in love with that person! Master Akiba!"
The words that Jinhong said before she left began to flash through her mind one by one.
Now she had to admit that she really had feelings for Ji Ci.
That's why she was so jealous of Zhao Wan'er, so jealous that she wanted to kill her, and that's why she was so anxious and flustered because of his indifferent attitude, and that's why this wound was so painful.
What should I do?
Does someone like her have the right to be moved?
…
She couldn't sleep all night, and Ji Ci didn't go back to his bedroom to sleep. He didn't fall asleep until dawn. When she woke up again, it was already afternoon, and he was no longer in the palace.
When night came, she dressed as usual, stood at the palace gate waiting for him to come home. Although he didn't say much, she gently took his hand and ate together.
After dinner, she smiled and helped him take a bath, as if nothing had happened between them.
At about the same time, he refused her service and asked her to leave the bathroom. After a while, he got out of the tub, dried himself, and went back to the bedroom.
Mingyue seemed to have noticed the discord between the princess and the prince these days, but as a servant, she didn't dare to speak up. She filled the kettle with water and placed it on the table. She cautiously watched the princess's faint smile as her elbow accidentally knocked over the porcelain cup.
Jiang Qiuye reached out and swiftly caught the cup before it fell to the ground, then calmly put it back on the table and let Mingyue leave.
Ji Ci saw the whole scene just now.
He lowered his eyes, his expression darkening. It was only today that he noticed how swift her movements were. Before he could react, the porcelain cup had already returned to the table.
With a bitter smile, he walked back to the bed, ignored her gaze that was about to become material, dried his hair, and then lay down, closed his eyes and fell asleep.
Jiang Qiuye turned off the lights, feeling a little dejected. She climbed quietly to the inside of the bed and looked at him for a long time. However, she no longer had the courage to get close to him and tease him as before, so she turned around and closed her eyes.
She had worked so hard to keep her position, but now his silence was like a slap in the face. She didn't feel any joy at all, and instead, her depression and discomfort deepened.
In the past, she could cry whenever she wanted. But now, for some reason, she couldn't shed a single tear. She felt a burning sensation in her heart, and the pain in the wound on her chest grew more intense day by day.
After a long time, she fell asleep and her breathing gradually became steady.
Ji Ci opened his eyes in the darkness and tilted his head to look at her who had already fallen asleep. After adapting to the darkness, the moonlight fell on her back, making her look even clearer.
She was wearing a thin nightgown, and beneath the transparent fabric there was a huge scar besides her butterfly bone.
Those were the claw marks left by a tiger, but he had never noticed them.
His heart trembled, and he gently propped himself up, leaning over to examine it in the moonlight. The wound ran from the shoulder to just below the scapula, revealing the fierceness and danger of the fight with the tiger that day.
He stretched out his hand, but did not touch the healed wound. He slowly traced it from top to bottom from a distance.
After an unknown amount of time, he finally lay back down, his eyes still fixed on the wound. While he was admiring the two wounds on her back and chest, he suddenly realized that she seemed to have suffered many injuries.
The whip wounds and knife wounds on the palms of his hands never really left any marks. Every month or two, the scars would disappear without a trace.
What should I do with her?
This woman who made him love, hate, pity, and anger at one moment. He never wanted to see her face again, but he really couldn't be so cold and heartless.
Outside the dormitory, the wind was blowing harder and harder, as if it would never stop.
When she woke up the next day, Ji Ci was gone again, and she felt confused.
He seemed to have figured something out and stopped avoiding her. From that day on, he went back to his bedroom to sleep every day. But every time he lay down on the bed, he fell into a deep sleep and never touched her again.
She continued to wait for him at the mansion every evening, inviting him to dine with her, and then they would bathe and go straight to bed. Day after day, she would only occasionally be invited to attend banquets during the day or buy some medicinal herbs.
It doesn't matter, as long as I can stay.
As long as she didn't reveal more and didn't let him find out her true identity, it would be fine. She would continue to do what she had to do in the future.
After attending a banquet hosted by Princess Anyang, she came out of the princess's mansion and got on the carriage when she suddenly noticed a figure passing by in the distance.
When she looked again, he was gone.
The man's back looked very much like Jinhong, and she felt a little uneasy.
After Jinhong left that day, she repeatedly warned him not to appear in Shengjing again. Jinhong knew everything about her, and she should have killed him directly, but in the end she relented and let him go.
Now she was in a precarious situation with Ji Ci. If Jin Hong was discovered by Ji Ci, more things she had concealed and deceived him would be exposed.
She was certain that he would not indulge herself again.
Jiang Qiuye pried the carriage door frame with force, lowered his eyes to think for a while, and then chased in the direction of the figure.
Turning the corner, I saw pedestrians hurrying along the road and vendors bustling about, but there was no sign of Jinhong.
Mingyue followed, puzzled, and leaned over to glance at where Jiang Qiuye was looking. She asked, "Princess, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, I just thought I saw someone I knew, but I realized I was mistaken."
She shook her head, and with Mingyue's support, she returned to the carriage and left.
Perhaps it was because of the uneasiness and boredom she had been feeling recently, and because she drank alcohol at the banquet today, she must be too sensitive and easily startled by things.
The palace's carriage slowly drove away along the street, and the guards following the carriage also left.
In a spice shop on the corner, a woman finally revealed herself. A veil obscured her face, and a gentle breeze blew past, revealing her cheeks beneath, a rosy crimson they hadn't seen in a long time. Her face was different from before: a large, round, black scar stretched across her forehead.
She slowly walked out of the threshold, went down the steps, and watched the shadow of the carriage disappear into the distance.
There was hesitation in Jinhong's eyes. She clenched her fists and felt annoyed.
After leaving Jiang Qiuye that day, she wanted to return to Feiyan Pavilion, but she didn't expect that Feiyan Pavilion would not tolerate spies who gave up their mission halfway.
In order to save her life, she told the Pavilion Master that Jiang Qiuye wanted her to kill King Zhuo Jun. However, she did not expect that the Pavilion Master not only did not think of capturing Jiang Qiuye, but instead locked her up and punished her with cruel drugs.
She knew she might not live long if she stayed any longer, so she killed the person who brought her food, found a way to escape, and rode back to Shengjing at full speed. Finally, she saw Jiang Qiuye. That woman was becoming more and more beautiful, while she was now so ugly that she could not face others.
She wanted to do something, but she didn't know how to act and had no plan.
At this moment, she suddenly thought of Ji Ci.
If she could find Ji Ci and report Jiang Qiuye to him, perhaps... he could protect her from the pursuit of Feiyan Pavilion?
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