Chapter 53 Did you get the kiss?
After each time, Shang Qiyue would always show concern and tenderness.
He held Mu Yan and dried his hair, even squeezing out toothpaste and handing it to Mu Yan.
The clothes were brought by Shang Qiyue. Both of them were wearing the matching pajamas that Shang Qiyue had taken Mu Yan to the mall to buy that day. Mu Yan stared blankly at the person in the mirror.
Seeing him lost in thought, Shang Qiyue patted his head and said, "Tired? Hurry up and wash up and go to bed. You don't have to work tomorrow, so you can sleep in."
He followed Mu Yan's gaze and saw the two people in the mirror wearing matching pajamas. He thought they looked exceptionally well-matched and pleasing to the eye.
"What are you thinking? Aren't we a couple? I'm a few years older than you, and you've only been working for a short time. It's only natural for your boyfriend to give you some living expenses every month."
Mu Yan looked up at him, put her arm around Shang Qiyue's neck and pulled him down a little, then gently pecked him on the lips.
This version of Mu Yan was actually somewhat unfamiliar to Shang Qiyue, a kind of pleasantly surprised unfamiliarity.
Shang Qiyue hugged his waist and lifted him up slightly: "Can we kiss like this?"
After they had both finished washing up, Shang Qiyue lifted him up higher and carried him all the way back to the bedroom, where they snuggled together and lay down.
When he's in a good mood, Shang Qiyue really enjoys being close to people, even if he's just taken a shower and his body is still warm.
Although this evaluation is not good, it always reminds Mu Yan of the golden retriever that the couple he used to meet on his way home from the night shift used to have.
But humans are not as pure as animals. The puppy is always lively and enthusiastic, while Shang Qiyue is unpredictable.
When he's kind to someone, he'd do anything for them. But he also always manages to utter some shockingly harsh words when Mu Yan is caught off guard.
Mu Yan knew that Shang Qiyue had no reason to deliberately make himself unhappy; what he had inadvertently said was his true feeling.
Sometimes he simply wished that Shang Qiyue wouldn't be so tender and coaxing, so that he could completely and cleanly remove his heart.
Instead of constantly giving myself hope, making myself think that I can get through this year peacefully and without so much suffering, as I am doing now.
Mu Yan thought, "Not a year left, only a little over ten months."
A day with something to look forward to always gives one a glimmer of hope. Mu Yan thought for a moment and decided to first cash the check tomorrow, and then take his mother and brother to eat the braised duck soup they hadn't been able to eat last time.
Now that he has an extra 100,000 yuan, he's even more confident in ordering a couple more dishes.
When he thought of Mu Juanhua, he suddenly felt that the grievances he had suffered at Shang Qiyue's hands were nothing at all.
Mr. Shang... he just has a bad temper, but he really did help him pay 150,000 yuan, changed his mother to a high-end ward, and said he would keep an eye on the transplant for him.
No matter how hard or difficult things are for me, nothing compares to the suffering of my sick mother.
When Mu Juanhua underwent dialysis for the first time, Mu Yan was still in high school. He took leave from school to accompany her, and was scolded by her and Lin Yi.
Each dialysis session lasts four hours, and lying down for so long without being able to move is agonizing. Mu Juanhua's face gradually turned pale. Mu Yan was young at the time and couldn't control his emotions in front of her. Holding her hand, he burst into tears first.
Mu Juanhua seems to have never had a good life. She married Lin Yi's father and suffered domestic violence. After finally getting a divorce, she met Lin Guojun, who seemed honest and weak, but was a gambling addict and had a little burden, Mu Yan.
She was capable and hardworking; even with just one egg, she could make delicious brown sugar eggs or scrambled eggs for Mu Yan. After the village opened a textile factory, she was the most skilled worker there, just a step away from being promoted to supervisor.
She told Mu Yan and Lin Yi that once she was promoted to supervisor, she would take them to the city for hamburgers. Lin Yi said that there was nothing good about it; he had seen others eat it, and it was just two pieces of bread with a piece of meat in between. He said it was better to cook at home.
Mu Yan knew that her brother didn't want to put pressure on their mother. The factory manager's sister-in-law and the village chief's wife were also working at the factory. If they couldn't win the argument, their mother would feel sorry for them.
However, he still swallowed unconsciously.
But fate was not fair to my mother at all; before she could even get notification of who was in charge, the textile factory went bankrupt.
So she went to work at a restaurant. The small restaurant provided food and lodging. After working there for three years, she saved up some money. She discussed it with her two sons and decided to open a small restaurant. They chose a location near the university town in City A, saying that this way, when Mu Yan went to university, he could still eat her cooking often.
When everything was ready, I contracted that disease.
When Mu Yan thought of her, he felt that being said a few unpleasant things by Shang Qiyue was really nothing.
Dignity can be exchanged for money, and dignity can be exchanged for a mother's health.
It's a very cheap deal. There are probably countless other people in the world who would be willing to make such an exchange, but they are not as lucky as Mu Yan; they don't have that opportunity.
What more could she possibly want? Mu Yan closed her eyes, thinking about the 100,000 yuan and the braised duck soup she was going to take her mother to eat tomorrow, and felt much more relaxed.
Exhaustion and drowsiness belatedly enveloped him.
Shang Qiyue, who was beside her, was breathing evenly, as if he had already fallen asleep. Mu Yan glanced at him, then suddenly remembered something, and all her drowsiness vanished in an instant.
He carefully turned over, wanting to get some sleep first and banish those thoughts from his mind.
That's not something he should ask.
He already roughly knew how to please Shang Qiyue, so there was no need to add anything unnecessary.
"Can't you sleep?"
Mu Yan didn't know when Shang Qiyue woke up, or whether he was woken up by her turning over.
In the pitch black, when Shang Qiyue suddenly spoke, Mu Yan instinctively flinched. Fortunately, Shang Qiyue seemed to have no morning grumpiness at all, and simply pressed Mu Yan closer to him: "Don't be afraid, don't be afraid, did I scare you?"
Mu Yan shook his head: "No, nothing."
"Then why can't you sleep? Are you still sad because of Lu Chong?"
"No." Mu Yan denied it subconsciously, his tone decisive. Even Shang Qiyue didn't think he was lying.
Shang Qiyue was already half-asleep, and now he was unusually confused.
There are many reasons why someone can't sleep. Sometimes, he just doesn't know why he can't sleep, even if he tries to clear his mind and not think about anything. After asking, Shang Qiyue realized he had asked a pointless question and didn't expect Mu Yan to reply.
But Mu Yan so clearly, almost subconsciously, denied that it was because of Lu Chong. That must mean he had something else on his mind.
"Then why can't you sleep?" Shang Qiyue pulled the person into his arms and patted him. "What happened? Tell me, I'll help you. What you think is a big deal is nothing to me."
Mu Yan nestled in his arms, hesitating for a long time.
Perhaps Shang Qiyue had long since stopped caring about it.
But no matter what, it was ultimately because of me.
Shang Qiyue was quite patient, gently rubbing the top of his head and waiting quietly.
"I... I'm afraid you'll be upset. If you don't want to talk to me, just pretend I'm talking in my sleep."
Shang Qiyue thought to himself, as long as it's not because of Lu Chong, what else could make me unhappy? He kissed Mu Yan's forehead and agreed.
"What Lu Chong said today... I want to apologize to you." Mu Yan lowered her head, her voice even softer. "Although I don't really have the right to apologize on his behalf, you were the one he said those things to because of me..."
Mu Yan's voice grew softer and softer until it was almost inaudible. Shang Qiyue, who was already half asleep, was even more confused after hearing it.
"Why are you taking this so seriously? I treat Lu Chong's words like they're nothing. Which sentence did he say? Did he say I was a mistress?"
Mu Yan paused for a moment: "And then there's this line, 'I'm sorry, sir, it's all because of me...'"
After a while, Shang Qiyue finally came to his senses. He awkwardly pressed Mu Yan's head closer to his chest, trying to hide his gaze from Mu Yan.
What Mu Yan cares about most is what Lu Chong said: "He was born of a mother but not raised by one."
"Don't worry about it. There's nothing I can't tell you. My mom and I don't get along very well, so I'll just say it. It's not a secret. Most people in our circle know a little about it, even Lu Chong knows."
“When I was born, it was discovered that I had a congenital problem with my glands. The doctor said that I would likely have pheromone disorder after differentiation. This disease is like what you see, which makes me particularly repulsed by the pheromones of the opposite sex. If it is not cured, I will not be able to have offspring. There are very few cases on the market now. Those who are cured have all mysteriously recovered on their own, and those who are not cured have never been cured in their lives.”
Shang Qiyue paused, his tone quite ordinary: "My parents were quite disappointed in me. After I got pregnant with my second child, they sent me abroad... But I understand now. It was a family marriage, and they wanted a healthy heir, which is quite normal."
Mu Yan was somewhat stunned, but being held in Shang Qiyue's arms, he couldn't see Shang Qiyue's eyes clearly: "Sir... and then?"
He can't interact with the opposite sex, and his fertile periods and heat cycles are different from other alphas and omegas. In Mu Yan's view, this doesn't have much of an impact on his life. Besides, a five or six-year-old child is still so young; the possibility of him getting sick later on makes him the most pitiful one.
Mu Yan certainly couldn't understand why Shang Qiyue's parents treated him this way.
“She…died in childbirth.” Shang Qiyue smiled, his tone casual, as if he were telling someone else’s story. “My dad thought it was bad luck, so he just pretended I didn’t exist. But it’s fine, because of the pressure from my maternal grandparents, he doesn’t dare to remarry. My friends’ families are all quite strict, but I’m relatively carefree.”
Mu Yan felt a lump in her throat and didn't know how to comfort him, so she couldn't help but lean closer into his arms and hug him even tighter.
"Baby, do you feel sorry for me?" Shang Qiyue looked down at him, a smile in his eyes.
“It’s alright,” he said. “It’s enough that you feel sorry for me now.”
"God sent you to my side, surely to make up for what I did wrong."
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