Chapter 137 But who told you to love them?
"Haven't you found it yet?" The bedroom door was open. Mu Yan knocked and went in. "Could it be left in the car...? Should I go down and get it?"
Mu Yan wondered if it was just her imagination, but Xie Chen's shoulders seemed a little tense. When he slowly turned around, Mu Yan was already standing beside him.
“Found it,” Xie Chen said softly.
"That's good." Mu Yan smiled gently and breathed a sigh of relief. Shang Qiyue was taking care of Yao Yao at home, and he didn't want to face Shang Qiyue. He had been waiting for Xie Chen in the car, but when Xie Chen didn't come down, he looked around the car but couldn't find him.
He was a little worried and almost suspected that Xie Chen had lost his ID card, and that it would be troublesome to replace it.
"Actually, I've been carrying it with me the whole time..."
"I couldn't find it for a moment, I thought I'd left it at home," Mu Yan smiled. "I sometimes do that too..."
Mu Yan is a very meticulous person, and such a thing has never happened before. He has always been very understanding.
Xie Chen looked at him with his dark gray eyes, and after a while, he slowly shook his head.
".......no."
Xie Chen's expression was serious, and Mu Yan didn't immediately understand what he meant.
"I don't want to divorce you."
"I don't want to divorce you." As Mu Yan was stunned, Xie Chen hugged him and repeated what he had just said.
“…Brother?” Mu Yan was stunned. When she came to her senses, she called out to him softly.
Xie Chen didn't become more rational because of that "brother." Instead, he suddenly lowered his head and hugged Mu Yan even tighter, his nose brushing against Mu Yan's earlobe, his breath hot.
Mu Yan's ears were very sensitive, and they turned red almost immediately.
"It's not just... wanting to be your brother."
“When Yunlin Temple looked back at you, it wasn’t because you resembled Aunt He, but just because I subconsciously thought you were very beautiful.”
Mu Yan's heart skipped a beat. He didn't have time to think about the sentence. He just instinctively shook his head slightly, not knowing whether he wanted to deny his beauty or to reject Xie Chen's earlier statement that he wanted to do more than just be his brother.
“Yan Yan, you can have other people... Lu Chong or Shang Qiyue, I know they are very important to you.”
"But I don't believe that I'm unimportant to you, or that I can be discarded."
Mu Yan's breathing became erratic, and she struggled to push him away slightly: "Brother, your...your thoughts may be a bit unusual, but you need to know that this is not normal...it's not fair to you. You should find someone who loves you wholeheartedly..."
“I don’t care,” Xie Chen interrupted him. “You can continue to like them, I don’t mind, as long as you like me a little more…”
His hands were clasped around Mu Yan's lower back, almost enveloping Mu Yan's waist.
Xie Chen's body temperature was much higher than Mu Yan's, and since it was summer and Mu Yan was wearing less clothing, Mu Yan's waist area was already sensitive. He struggled slightly, trying to get away.
His legs started to feel weak, and Xie Chen noticed this. He half-lifted and half-carried him and sat him down on the edge of the bed, letting Mu Yan sit on his lap and gently pressing his forehead against Mu Yan's.
Mu Yan shook his head again, but couldn't say anything. Xie Chen's burning gaze felt very strange to him. Apart from the night he came home wearing a bite stopper, Xie Chen had never looked at him like that before.
It was as if they wanted to devour him.
He wasn't scared that night because he had a bite stopper, but now that the bite stopper is gone, the strange feeling Mu Yan is having now isn't exactly fear.
Xie Chen's hand slowly moved up his spine and then stopped on his fair and slender nape.
There wasn't even a piece of clothing separating them at the back of his neck; the alpha's hand, which was much warmer than his own, was simply holding the back of his neck.
"Yan Yan, they need you, and so do I."
"Besides Aunt He and you, I have no other relatives."
"I also want to be closer to you, I want you to love me..."
Then Mu Yan saw Xie Chen's features gradually become clearer, but also blurred because they were too close. Just as their lips were about to touch, Xie Chen paused, as if waiting for Mu Yan's final rejection.
But Mu Yan seemed stunned, neither agreeing nor refusing.
Xie Chen waited a long time, and finally saw a tear clinging to Mu Yan's fine eyelashes.
When he first saw Xie Chen, he was surrounded by people, and the abbot of Yunlin Temple, who was almost never seen, was personally chanting sutras for him.
Mu Yan's first reaction to him was fear.
There was a degree of aversion, though; Mu Yan simply wanted to keep his distance from people of their class.
But now that he thinks about it, that person seemed a little... lonely.
So many people surrounded him, but apart from the one glance he gave him, his gaze seemed empty the rest of the time.
It wasn't the arrogance of Lu Chong, nor the indifference of Shang Qiyue; it was simply a lack of focus.
Lu Chong has good friends like Senior Jiang and kind and gentle older sisters like Lu Zhi, while Shang Qiyue has friends he gets along with.
Xie Chen seems to have many important people around him, but he says he needs himself.
Mu Yan always thought that he was relying on Xie Chen, that he needed Xie Chen.
So Xie Chen needs him too?
So Xie Chen also needs his love?
But his love wasn't something expensive... He gave Xie Chen what he wanted.
Mu Yan closed her eyes, and then tears fell down her cheeks as her soft lips touched Xie Chen's lips.
Xie Chen also felt that tear.
In front of him was the Alpha's burning chest, and behind him were the Alpha's hands that held him captive.
Mu Yan was breathing rapidly, his eyes were wet and red, and his legs, which couldn't touch the ground, were weak. He could only hold onto Xie Chen's shoulders with his hands.
“…Brother.” Between kisses, his voice trembled, as if begging for mercy, or perhaps an unconscious display of affection.
Xie Chen gave a soft "hmm," but his lips remained pressed against his, and he asked vaguely between caresses, "...Do you hate it?"
Mu Yan's eyelashes trembled slightly, and she couldn't speak.
"Don't you like me at all?"
Xie Chen gave him very little time to rest, and soon kissed him again.
For some unknown reason, Xie Chen's palm slid slowly down Mu Yan's waist, supporting his knees, and he picked Mu Yan up and stood up.
Mu Yan exclaimed in surprise and instinctively wrapped his arms around Xie Chen's neck. Xie Chen kissed him as they walked, and soon they reached the French windows.
“Lu Chong is okay, Shang Qiyue is okay…” Xie Chen leaned closer, “Baby, so you really don’t like me at all?”
Mu Yan was pinned against the one-way floor-to-ceiling window, her legs forced apart and wedged against Xie Chen's waist. This position was extremely shameful, and Mu Yan's ears were almost burning red.
He seemed to have guessed that this was his last chance to reject Xie Chen.
Xie Chen wouldn't force him; as long as he refused now, it was still not too late.
But now... he seems to want to get closer to Xie Chen as well.
Closer than now... closer than hugs, closer than kisses...
They were not related by blood, nor did they grow up together. Their fate was elusive, like a thread that could be cut at any moment. Mu Yan also wanted to... get closer to him.
Xie Chen once said that he wished Mu Yan had grown up by his side since childhood.
There seems to be another kind of relationship in the world that is closer than blood ties and even the bond between siblings.
Xie Chen tightened his grip on his waist, brushed his nose against the side of his neck, and took a deep breath.
"Baby, you are too kind, and too greedy."
"You want to give happiness to everyone, you want to give love to everyone. I don't think they deserve your love."
“But who told you to love them… Never mind,” Xie Chen murmured.
Sunlight streamed through the glass, casting overlapping silhouettes on the floor and leaving damp patches.
The phone rang once in the middle of the call, and Xie Chen answered it for him, turned on the speakerphone, and held it to his ear.
Lu Chong said he had just learned how to make fruit tea, and it tasted pretty good, so he wanted to send some over.
Mu Yan struggled to stop crying and looked at Xie Chen with pleading eyes.
"Send it over," Xie Chen answered for him. "You can also move in; the maid's room is for you."
Mu Yan fainted several times. When he woke up once, he vaguely felt someone feeding him water.
He was very tired and thirsty, and almost dehydrated.
He couldn't even lift his eyelids. The person fed him very slowly, and he could only sip a few mouthfuls of water from the person's hand.
The water seemed to be finished very quickly.
Mu Yan wanted to drink some more water, so he opened his eyes wide, wanting more water, but what appeared in front of him was Shang Qiyue's face.
A few seconds later, he realized what he was like. His ears burned, and he unconsciously shrank into Xie Chen's arms, almost wanting to hide himself.
Xie Chen noticed his embarrassment and gently covered his eyes with her hand.
The light suddenly dimmed, as if a dark and safe little world had been created.
This action actually did not serve any purpose of concealment; it could even be described as burying one's head in the sand. However, Mu Yan inexplicably relaxed, quietly resting her head on Xie Chen's shoulder and gently resting her head on Xie Chen's neck.
"Pour him some more water," Xie Chen instructed Shang Qiyue, who was standing nearby.
"Drinking so much water..." Shang Qiyue's voice drifted over faintly. Mu Yan didn't have time to think about the meaning of the words, but she heard someone say, "He'll be very embarrassed."
Xie Chen said something else, and then held the water glass to Mu Yan's lips again.
Mu Yan almost instinctively drank a few sips of water. The warm water flowed down his throat, and Xie Chen gently patted his spine, telling him to drink slowly.
Shang Qiyue looked at the two of them with some resentment in his eyes, but when Xie Chen raised an eyebrow and looked over, he withdrew that gaze.
“You can sleep in the room next to the nanny’s room,” Xie Chen said calmly, looking at him. “If you don’t want to stay next to Lu Chong, you can sleep in Tang Yuan’s room.”
"Then let's sleep in Tangyuan's room," Shang Qiyue said with a nonchalant smile.
Xie Chen carried Mu Yan upstairs again. Mu Yan rested her head on his shoulder, her eyes closed from exhaustion, as if she had fallen asleep again.
But when Xie Chen called him, he would still respond with a very soft hum.
He seemed to melt into a puddle of water, his body so limp that he was almost too weak to hold.
“Baby,” Xie Chen called softly, “do you really love me?”
“I love you,” Mu Yan murmured.
"I love you."
[Author's Note]
Request for nutrient solution
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