Fear arises from love
We didn't get to have dinner on the cruise ship. When we arrived at the dock, the weather was bad, with strong winds and heavy rain, and even those who didn't bring two umbrellas were soaked to the skin.
Winter downpours are especially unforgiving. Jinnan was freezing cold as he huddled in the passenger seat, even with the warm breeze. Xu Zhiyuan drove, but the road wasn't the way back to Yunting. After about ten minutes, the car stopped at the foot of an apartment building.
Jinnan went upstairs wrapped in a blanket, followed by Xu Zhiyuan, who called Yunting's home.
A few minutes' drive from Hualin, this building is full of single apartments and dormitories for company employees, which they can apply for on demand. Xu Zhiyuan has one, which he uses for lunch breaks.
The elevator was shimmering with a cold metallic glow, its pale white light casting a death sentence on the two bouquets of flowers. People came and went, some looking down at their phones, others looking up in surprise.
"Mr. Jin, Mr. Xu."
After a polite nod and a brief greeting, Xu Zhiyuan subconsciously wanted to distance himself from Jinnan, but Jinnan suddenly held his hand tightly.
A silent war erupted between them, their hands clenched until veins bulged, neither of them willing to let go. In the end, Xu Zhiyuan had no choice but to compromise.
The cold light persisted, with only the red floor calendar scrolling upwards, finally stopping at 26. Jinnan made the first move; he knew which room it was and which way to get there.
During two months of surveillance, he figured out many of Xu Zhiyuan's habits that he did not hide.
Xu Zhiyuan followed behind him, walking past one incandescent lamp after another, watching Jinnan unlock the combination lock and enter the password.
The door was closed and locked. A hand pressed on Xu Zhiyuan's shoulder, and the darkness swallowed the two of them.
The water was still sliding down Jinnan's cheeks, and his half-wet hair stuck to the bridge of his nose. The warm and clear light coming in from the floor-to-ceiling windows fell on the side of his face and gently slid away with the water.
Jinnan wrapped an arm around him, pushing the flowers aside and dropping them to the side, where they dripped all over the floor. A faint floral fragrance drifted with the water, coming from the same closet, the same bottle of detergent, and two hearts that shared the same silence.
Xu Zhiyuan thought he would get a kiss, but it was just a shallow, wet touch.
"Who were those two just now?" Jin Nan asked in a low voice.
"Geng Guangsong's men, I don't remember their names."
"Did they see anything?" Jinnan paused, "I was staring at you the whole time. Did they notice?"
"Are you afraid?" Xu Zhiyuan asked back.
"Aren't you afraid?" Jin Nan also asked.
He didn't seem to want an answer, and just peeled off their rain-soaked clothes. Beneath the fabric, on her delicate white skin, the red marks left by Xu Zhiyuan had not yet faded.
Only if you look closely can you see that above the original red marks, there are also pinch marks. It is Jinnan himself who does not want them to disappear.
The cold was approaching, and in the few seconds of waiting for hot water, Xu Zhiyuan thought of the past.
When he first returned home, Jinnan was far from pretty or delicate. He was a fifteen-year-old boy, less than sixty feet tall, with sunken eye sockets, dark skin, and calloused and scarred hands.
Jinnan never spoke of his past. He wanted no sympathy, no pity, and his tiny self-respect supported his thin spine.
Jin Nan was hazy in the hot water, but his desire was not strong. His intimacy was more to get closer to Xu Zhiyuan. He didn't covet anything. Xu Zhiyuan saw the familiar stubbornness in his eyes, holding his breath, unwilling to give in.
"Afraid." Xu Zhiyuan said.
Jin Nan sneered: "What are you afraid of? Are you afraid that I will damage your reputation as a young entrepreneur? Are you afraid of being stabbed in the back? Or are you afraid of affecting those daughters of Lido..."
Xu Zhiyuan covered his mouth with his hand and poured hot water on his head. Without saying a word, Xu Zhiyuan switched to the overhead shower head. Jinnan, who didn't like water, was soaked and speechless.
Xu Zhiyuan leaned close to his ear and whispered, "I'm worried that people will criticize you, you ungrateful little bastard."
Little ungrateful wolf...
Jinnan wanted to retort, but Xu Zhiyuan held him like a ruyi, so he didn't dare to use any strength. For some reason, he felt more wronged than happy.
Was he being ungrateful? Was he being unreasonable? Jin Nan couldn't ask a single word, so he just bit back. Amidst the repetitive gurgling of water, he seemed to hear the phone ringing. It rang for a long time.
After the hot shower, Xu Zhiyuan came out to boil some water. Jinnan picked up his phone and saw three missed calls: one from the car dealership, one from the insurance company, and one from an unfamiliar number.
The car that was scratched during the Lunar New Year holiday has been assessed for damage. The damage is extensive, penetrating the paint and damaging the aluminum underneath. While it doesn't require a factory repair, this one-to-two-meter-long scratch is worth a six-digit figure starting with a five.
This is enough to make Xu Xingwen suffer.
Jinnan wanted to go through the process directly with the insurance company, but the other party was very considerate and contacted a lawyer in advance and asked Jinnan whether he wanted to sue for intentional destruction of property.
Jinnan: "Let me take a look first."
After hanging up the phone, Jinnan was covered with a large blanket, and Xu Zhiyuan brought a puppy mug and stuffed it into his hand.
Since there was no ginger or brown sugar, Xu Zhiyuan used some white sugar to make up for it. He drank it while it was hot and it was pretty good for dispelling the cold.
In front of Xu Zhiyuan, Jinnan dialed the unknown number and put it on speaker. After five or six rings, the person on the other end picked up, starting with a curse in Chinese.
"Damn Jinnan! I just bumped into your lousy car, and you're beating me to death!"
So dirty. Jinnan frowned, wanting to wait until the other party had finished cursing before speaking, but Xu Zhiyuan, holding another puppy mug, reached out and hung up the phone before him.
Jinnan looked at him:?
Xu Zhiyuan raised his eyebrows: "Dog barking, do you want to hear it?"
Jinnan shook his head.
The phone rang again. This time, Xu Zhiyuan answered the call, put it to his ear and listened for two seconds before hanging up again.
Xu Zhiyuan simply ignored the third call, and Jinnan didn't answer either, letting it ring. It wasn't until the fourth and fifth calls that Xu Zhiyuan finally picked up, this time using the hands-free mode.
"Oh shit……"
"If you can't learn to speak, don't come out and make trouble." Jin Nanshang gave the poor guy some advice, and when he was about to hang up, he finally heard the other side begging for mercy.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I was wrong, Brother Jin, President Jin. Can we talk?"
Jinnan glanced at Xu Zhiyuan, who nodded and put his index finger in front of his lips, indicating that he would remain quiet.
Jinnan snorted coldly: "What are you talking about?"
Xu Xingwen was so angry at himself that he was barely breathing. He gasped, "Boss Jin, I was careless about the car. I didn't know it was yours at the time. I was just walking carelessly. It wasn't serious. I'll compensate you for the car cover. Let's settle it privately. Going to court wouldn't look good on anyone, right? And it would be troublesome."
"No," Jinnan said, "I don't mind the trouble. I have several top lawyers."
Xu Xingwen almost choked up at this sentence. Even through the phone, Jin Nan could hear his gnashing teeth: "Boss Jin, please forgive others when you can. Even a cornered dog will jump over the wall."
"Oh, the dog won't scratch my car, right?"
"You!" Xu Xingwen almost burst out cursing again, but finally held back. "Then what are you going to do? You're not short of money, so why do you have to bite me? Humph, I heard you used to be a country bumpkin, and you really did shameful things."
Jinnan picked his ears, thinking something dirty had gotten in them: "I'm so bored."
Xu Zhiyuan smiled lightly without letting the other party hear.
When Jinnan was about to hang up the phone, he glanced at the number, but before his hand touched it, he heard a loud shout from the other end.
"Jinnan! I know! I have something about your father and Xu Zhiyuan. Do you want to know?"
"What's the matter? Do you want to go down and talk to him?" Jinnan asked back.
"You bastard, you don't know what's good for you, do you?" Xu Xingwen cursed. "I'm telling you, Xu Zhiyuan doesn't know about this yet. If he knew, he would definitely turn against us! Just wait to be bitten by the hand. That guy is like a mad dog."
"Don't treat everyone as your own kind, okay?" Jinnan remained unmoved. "Also, apologize to the dog."
"Haha, just wait. When the time comes, you'll come begging me with the letter of apology."
Xu Xingwen hung up first. Jinnan looked around, confused as to why he'd called. Did Xu Xingwen just want to have a fight?
After a few fiddles, his phone was taken away by Xu Zhiyuan, who turned it off and removed the shell in one go, then walked away with the phone.
"What are you doing? Don't take it out on my phone." Jinnan chased after him.
Xu Zhiyuan squatted by the counter, dug out a card pin from the box, and took out both SIM cards. "Your phone number is unusable. Go to the business hall tomorrow to cancel it. The number must have been leaked internally. I'll help you check it. Don't answer unfamiliar calls in the future."
Jin Nan didn't take Xu Xingwen's words seriously. But Xu Zhiyuan's reaction was somewhat stressful, far from his usual calm and steady style.
He observed quietly. Xu Zhiyuan's movements were like a student refilling a pen, familiar and steady. From his performance alone, no one could guess what he was thinking. Time flowed like an inkless line.
"Zhiyuan."
"Um."
"Is what he said true?"
"I have no idea."
Whether it was a cover-up or ignorance, Jin Nan couldn't tell. He only knew that Xu Zhiyuan didn't dare look him in the eye. Xu Zhiyuan held the SIM-free phone in his hand, fiddling with it for a while, connecting it to WiFi before returning it to Jin Nan.
"Xu Zhiyuan." Jin Nan reached out and took his hand. "I don't want any misunderstandings between us. I...if you tell me what's going on, I can handle it well. I'm grown up now, not the same person I was before. Let me help you occasionally, okay?"
Jinnan's hair was completely dry. He had been in this small space that didn't belong to him for two or three hours. Whether it was the narrow space or the soft wooden bed, Jinnan had adapted well.
He could also adapt to Xu Zhiyuan's secret just as he adapted to a strange environment.
But unfortunately, Xu Zhiyuan didn't give him this opportunity: "That matter has not been concluded yet. Sorry, I don't want to tell you."
"Can I know the reason?" Jin Nan whispered.
Xu Zhiyuan remained silent for a long time. His silence was a silent rejection. He closed the cabinet door and extended his hand to Jinnan, who was still squatting. Jinnan didn't take it and stood up on his own.
The two of them faced each other in silence, and the bridge of trust slowly crumbled between them. Sometimes Jin Nan felt that love was the most fragile emotion. Love was not enough for him to trust Xu Zhiyuan, nor was love enough for Xu Zhiyuan to tell him everything about himself.
They just liked each other, what was the big deal? Their love for each other was so weak that they didn't even dare to hold hands in public.
"Forget it. Don't tell me. I don't want to know." Jin Nan said, "You two both have the surname Xu. You are one family."
Xu Zhiyuan just stared at him.
Jinnan's ears felt warm. Xu Zhiyuan pinched the earring in her right ear and gently twisted it between his fingertips. It was the pair Xu Zhiyuan had bought.
"What do you think of me?" Xu Zhiyuan asked.
Jinnan gritted his teeth and imitated him just now, saying nothing.
Xu Zhiyuan continued to press: "Do you think I don't care about you? Do you think I will favor others and hurt you?"
The room was so quiet, the world outside Jinnan held its breath, and he was the only one left, isolated and helpless.
Isn’t it?
What kind of thing was it that Xu Zhiyuan would hide from him like this? Xu Zhiyuan didn't explain at all, didn't tell him anything. Jin Nan had already given in. To someone else, Jin Nan would never say something like "Let me help you" in such a humble manner.
Unfortunately, Xu Zhiyuan was not moved at all.
The doorbell rang at an inopportune moment.
Jinnan wiped his face and let go of Xu Zhiyuan's hand: "Let's calm down first."
Yun Ting's housekeeper brought Jin Nan some clean clothes. Jin Nan opened the door, took the bag, and had no intention of coming back in.
Xu Zhiyuan stood at the entrance with a gloomy expression, but did not stop him.
Jinnan turned around and glanced at Xu Zhiyuan: "Good night."
This was probably one of Xu Zhiyuan's rare free nights in his long life. Xu Zhiyuan's own room had no surveillance cameras or wiretaps.
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