Chapter 32 What Now
"Well, when I was in high school, the people in my class would often mention you, saying that you came from a wealthy family, were good at studying, and were good-looking. So they always thought you were a little out of touch with the world."
Mu Xu chuckled, and after a moment of silence, he said, "Thank you, Teacher Lin, for remembering me."
He couldn't help but lift the strands of hair on Lin Jin's forehead and said, "I thought I didn't leave any trace in your life."
Lin Jin responded: "...I'm not a scumbag either."
Ying Wan found that he was indeed a scumbag. He had forgotten countless people, including those who had eaten in the cafeteria with him, the people who sat in front and behind him, and even Mu Xu, who went to the same university as him.
He didn't recognize any of them.
Mu Xu smiled and said, "Then Teacher Lin, please take a closer look at me."
The two walked side by side along the stone brick path in the lawn, and finally walked along the edge of the playground to Lover's Lake in the west district.
It happened to be sunset, and the orange-red afterglow made the entire campus magnificent and gorgeous. The lake reflected the magnificence of the sunset, and the lake surface was sparkling with orange, red, pink and yellow.
Several pairs of young couples were walking side by side, looking contented.
A gentle breeze blew by, dropping endless petals of all colors, more beautiful than rain, as if giving the most polite welcome to the arrival of the guests.
Lin Jin and Mu Xu walked in it, feeling extremely comfortable.
Lin Jin watched the orange light dye Mu Xu's cheeks and hair into a golden halo, and his heartbeat instantly became noticeable.
He suddenly smiled and said, "I think I understand why people from the East District used to like going to the West District so much."
Mu Xu lowered his eyes and looked at him intently.
Lin Jin said, "There's such a wonderful place in the West District. Whether it's a couple, friends, or classmates, coming here will probably leave behind the most unforgettable memories."
He honestly explained the reason for his feelings: "Like me, no matter what time it is in the future, I will probably remember you at this moment."
Lin Jin is always open about his feelings.
Maybe when he is confused and bewildered, he won't know how to react, but once his feelings are understood, he will face them truthfully and express them sincerely.
Just like he once knew that there was something wrong between him and Fu Yigu, he understood it decisively.
More like now, he knew that he liked Mu Xu who was like a painting at this moment, so he said that he would remember Mu Xu at this moment forever.
Mu Xu looked at those beautiful eyes filled with his own reflection and the afterglow of the sunset, and his Adam's apple rolled up and down.
Reason gradually disappeared.
Then he suddenly woke up when he saw a young couple playing by his side.
He sighed silently, raised his hand to rub Lin Jin's head, and asked with a smile: "Does it look good?"
Lin Jin nodded honestly and replied, "It's very beautiful. It's so beautiful that it takes a thousand years to be admired at first sight."
Mu Xu suddenly didn't know whether the suggestion of taking a walk here was good or bad.
His teacher Lin used this delicate and innocent face to speak gently and sincerely, one word after another that made him want to do something bad.
But there are students everywhere.
He sighed in self-abandonment, pinched the back of Lin Jin's neck in defeat, and said, "Teacher Lin, take it easy when you're trying to hook me. I have to be a role model for others."
Lin Jin didn't know why Mu Xu said this.
He blinked and looked at Gu Mu seriously: "Don't you like me praising you like this?"
After that, he said seriously: "But I kind of want to praise it."
Mu Xu suddenly stopped, his eyes dark.
The afterglow fell on the lake and circled around them, which was extremely beautiful.
Mu Xu and Lin Jin stared at each other for a moment in the golden sunset, then he said in a hoarse voice, "Lin Jin, you said in high school that you didn't like boys."
Lin Jin was stunned when he heard this, not because he couldn't remember when he said this.
Because he had received many confessions from boys at that time, he often said that he didn't like boys.
But what surprised him was that Mu Xu knew.
He murmured, "How do you know?"
"I overheard it by chance."
"So, yeah."
Mu Xu looked at him and asked, "What about now? Do you still not like men?"
Lin Jin opened his mouth, confused.
For more than 20 years, every time he rejected someone, he said his sexual orientation was female decisively and clearly, but now he looked at Mu Xu.
I couldn't say anything for a long time.
Doesn't he still like men?
Lin Jin has never liked anyone else.
In his cognition, he only thought that his parents were heterosexual. According to his understanding, his parents had never liked the same sex.
So he naturally thinks of himself as straight.
Even when boys confessed to him one after another later, he never felt anything, so he became more determined in his opinion.
But does he really not like boys?
People who don't like boys.
How does it feel when you are kissed and hugged by someone of the same sex?
Would you help a guy of the same sex just because he is jealous?
Lin Jin’s circle was too small. He wanted to find the correct answer, but found that he couldn’t find it.
Before, Fu Yigu always leaned on him and tried to hug his waist, but he always made it clear that he didn't like him touching his waist and hands.
Later, Fu Yigu gave up and started to put his arm around his shoulders, saying, "Classmates all put their arms around each other's shoulders, so I can do the same."
Lin Jin thought about it and felt that this was barely acceptable, so he just let it go.
But he still resists other intimate actions.
So from the perspective of people who don’t like boys, they wouldn’t feel helpless at all if they were approached and kissed by someone of the same sex.
But would he feel disgusted and uncomfortable like he did towards Fu Yigu, and then reject him decisively?
If this is the case, then he would feel helpless every time Mu Xu approached him, feel a little lost when Mu Xu left after close contact, and feel uncomfortable when being kissed, but not at all disgusted.
What is the reason for this?
Is it because he admires Mu Xu too much that he doesn't care, or does he actually have some bad thoughts about Mu Xu?
Lin Jin felt that this kind of question with no answer was too complicated. In his question bank, there were no similar questions or answers to refer to.
He seems to be heterosexual, but he doesn't seem to be.
Because he didn't know whether his indulgence of Mu Xu was due to the gratitude he felt in high school and his current admiration, or because he was moved.
So Lin Jin pursed his lips and said, "I don't know."
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