Chapter 43 Hate
He turned on the main light in the room and searched every corner of the room until he found the cloakroom. He was completely exhausted.
This time he couldn't bear it anymore, so he went out and saw that the light was still on in the gap of Mu Xu's room, so he knocked on the door decisively.
Mu Xu opened the door quickly. For some reason, the corners of his eyes were bloodshot and his brows were slightly furrowed.
Lin Jin didn't wait for him to speak and went straight to the point: "Mu Xu, I lost my marriage certificate."
Mu Xu paused and looked at him in confusion: "Why are you suddenly asking about the marriage certificate?"
Lin Jin was so anxious that he didn't notice that when Mu Xu heard this question, his body suddenly stiffened, and even his tired face looked a little unhappy.
Lin Jin said, "I suddenly remembered."
Mu Xu looked at Lin Jin for a long moment, then suddenly said, "Another half a month."
Lin Jin was slightly surprised: "I know."
After he finished speaking, he raised his eyes and found that Mu Xu's eyes were actually a little red.
Lin Jin panicked instantly. He quickly raised his hand to wipe his tears and asked, "Why are you crying?"
Mu Xu closed his eyes and said, "Why did you suddenly think of the marriage certificate?"
He let Lin Jin wipe his cheeks, his voice hoarse: "Lin Jin, you don't want me anymore?"
He thought that they had agreed to a month's stay, and even if Lin Jin wanted to leave in the end, he would respect Lin Jin's idea.
But now, when he thought about Lin Jin using the marriage certificate to get a divorce, he didn't want to let go.
Seeing the information about Fu Yigu during the day, Mu Xu thought she could pretend nothing happened. But when she closed her eyes at night, all she saw was Lin Jin's face, suffering from grievances. She opened her eyes again, then closed them again. It was her fault for not protecting him. Lin Jin stood by the bridge and jumped into the sea in the blink of an eye.
He opened his eyes again, then closed them again, and it was daytime again. Fu Yigu said to Lin Jin, "Do you think Mu Xu is a gentleman? Do you know how many years he has been following you? How long have those eyes stared at you sinisterly in the darkness, and how many years have they coveted you?" Fu Yigu cursed loudly. Lin Jin's face was full of disbelief. He turned around and said to him, "Mu Xu, you are disgusting."
He was covered in cold sweat.
For the first time ever, I fell asleep with the headlights on.
After finally calming down, Lin Jin knocked on his door and started looking for the marriage certificate.
Whether in a dream or in reality, this person must disappear and leave.
Lin Jin didn't care about whether they had a marriage certificate or not at this moment. He stood on tiptoe, wiping his tears as he said, "I'm not rejecting you. I just suddenly remembered that I haven't seen a marriage certificate in a while, so I asked. Stop crying, okay?"
Mu Xu just thought that Lin Jin was coaxing him.
He reached out and embraced her, buried her head in his neck, and said, "No divorce."
"Never leave, never leave."
Mu Xu hugged him tightly, sniffing the lavender scent on his pajamas, and confided in a hoarse voice: "Lin Jin, I just had a lot of nightmares."
Lin Jin was heartbroken, and all he wanted was to soothe the man's tears. He gently stroked his back and said, "Is that why you sleep with the light on?"
Mu Xu hummed in frustration and said, "I dreamed that you didn't want me anymore."
He spoke lightly, but in that dream filled with dark fog, Lin Jin was first bullied, and then he stood on that bridge, his eyes empty, filled with boredom, and said, "Mu Xu, I don't want to act with you anymore. I'm so tired."
Then the water began to splash, and he lost his hold on his lover.
"I won't abandon you." Lin Jin promised softly.
Mu Xu muttered, "Lin Jin, don't leave."
"I'm not leaving." Lin Jin was almost used to coaxing Mu Xu. He tilted his head and naturally kissed the corner of Mu Xu's lips.
He understood Mu Xu's "Don't leave" as staying here tonight and sleeping, and without thinking, he whispered, "Go to sleep, I won't leave."
Mu Xu's body froze, and he almost wanted to chase after the kiss.
But Lin Jin let him go, pulled him to the bed, stuffed him into the bed, turned off the lights, and the room was pitch black. Lin Jin crawled in in the dark.
He said softly, "Good night."
The bed sank, and a familiar breath enveloped Mu Xu. He reached out and gently put his arm around Lin Jin's waist, buried his head in his neck, and said, "Good night, Lin Jin."
Lin Jin was not very sleepy, but he was worried that Mu Xu was not sleeping well, so he imitated the way his grandmother coaxed him to sleep, gently patting Mu Xu's back and coaxing him to sleep like a child.
Where he couldn't see, a little wet mark appeared on the pillow, and then slowly dissipated with the man's strong sense of panic.
*
When Mu Xu first met Lin Jin, he actually didn't like this person very much.
Although we were just in the first year of high school at that time, everyone basically had their own circle.
Lin Jin's class is on the second floor and he is on the third floor. Every time Lin Jin goes to the office, he has to pass by their class.
When I first noticed Lin Jin, he was wearing a neat and clean school uniform, discussing topics with a few classmates who were also good at writing, and Fu Yigu was one of them.
Fu Yigu is a high-profile person and always treats Lin Jin as his property.
Mu Xu disliked him the first time she saw him.
Someone in the crowd surrounding Lin Jin shouted, "How can you be so ingenious!"
Then, with a snap, Fu Yigu put his arm around Lin Jin's shoulder in an especially affectionate manner, pulled him closer to him, and said with a smile, "Of course, our little Jin is so outstanding."
At that time, Mu Xu was standing in the corridor.
He watched quietly as Fu Yi Gu put his hand on Lin Jin's shoulder and moved him to the side, and then slowly, the distance between him and Lin Jin grew farther and farther.
Fu Yigu looked down upon everyone, including Mu Xu, with an arrogant look.
It was provocative, ostentatious, and he treated Lin Jin as his own property.
The group led by Lin Jin discussed the topic very passionately, forming an invisible boundary that made it impossible to fit in.
And that afternoon, Lin Jin, bathed in the sunlight, looked holy and beautiful. Those talking eyes accidentally glanced at Mu Xu as they turned the corner.
But in the fleeting moment of eye contact, his thick, fluttering eyelashes didn't even move.
It was like treating him as air.
Mu Xu's originally restless heart sank instantly. He pursed his lips and suddenly felt that he really disliked this afternoon.
He thought of the hand that was around his shoulder, the distance between them that was growing farther and farther, and the eyes that treated him like air.
Then when people around me said, "Apart from anything else, Lin Jin from Class 5 is really good-looking," I suddenly felt that I probably didn't like him, otherwise I wouldn't be so unhappy.
He thought this person was too focused and too distant.
It was as if his circle of friends was already locked in. He would never even glance at anyone who wasn't in his circle. And even though that person was clearly showing him off like an object, he still let him do what he wanted.
He was cheated but still counting the money.
After that glance, Mu Xu unconsciously began to pay attention to Lin Jin.
He found that although he and Lin Jin were not in the same class, people around them liked to mention them together.
It is said that among the freshmen in the first year of high school, there are two stunning flowers.
One is a lotus in the water, untainted by the mud; the other is a treasure on the cliff that has experienced the frost, out of reach.
Lin Jin is that lotus flower.
But Mu Xu really didn't like this metaphor.
Cliff, pond.
One can tower into the clouds, the other can be low to the ground; the difference is more than just a world of difference.
——You will never have any intersection, and you will never be in the same circle.
Mu Xu can always extract this meaning from other people's words.
He began to meet Lin Jin and Fu Yigu, who always asked for a beating, in every corner.
And Lin Jin always makes people unable to take their eyes off him.
Mu Xu found that he always chewed his meals slowly, always refused to eat corn, and would go to the classroom for evening classes without drying his hair after taking a shower. When he went home, he would always take the No. 19 bus. When he got off the bus, his grandmother would always be there to pick him up, and sometimes his parents would also be waiting for him there.
His grades were consistently in the top ten of his grade. When he went to the office to pick up his homework, he would always bring his own test paper and discuss a few questions with the teacher on the way. Every time he figured out a question, the corners of his mouth would curl up slightly, and he would silently praise himself, "I'm awesome!"
By the time Mu Xu realized that his life was no longer about studying and his parents, he had already fallen.
When the monthly exam results came out, he subconsciously stood up, walked past the crowd at the podium clamoring to see the results, and calmly strolled to Class 5 to listen to the noisy shouting from the podium.
"Damn, Lin Jin, you're awesome! You're third in the grade again!"
"Ahhhh, Master Lin, thank you! I told you that it's most effective to ask Master Lin for your luck before the exam! And you bastards still call me superstitious!"
"Master Lin, celebrate however you want!"
"Need I say more? He's definitely going back to celebrate with his parents. As long as our classmate Lin Jin has his parents and grandma with him, who else can he see?"
"Who else can I see? I see Fu Yigu, right? Fu Yigu."
Mu Xu felt that he probably didn't like Lin Jin, because he was unhappy every time Lin Jin and that group passed by him.
But he also felt that he wanted to fit in with their class, wanted to listen to their gossip, wanted to be like those people, surrounding Lin Jin, naturally pulling his clothes, touching his shoulders, and chatting with him freely.
Mu Xu felt that he might not be studying normally.
Otherwise it wouldn't be so extreme.
Especially now, those people in the class are making fun of Lin Jin and Fu Yigu.
Fu Yigu cooperated and put his arm around Lin Jin's shoulder.
Lin Jin leaned to the side but didn't avoid the arm. He said softly, "Don't make jokes like that. It's not nice to others. Besides, I don't like men. Too many jokes can easily lead to misunderstandings."
Mu Xu was inexplicably unhappy.
He turned his head away, not even wanting to glance at the classroom, the rude arm, the triumphant smile on Fu Yigu's face, and Lin Jin's indulgence.
"Mu Xu? Why are you here?"
Teacher Yang passed by and looked in surprise at the person who should have been upstairs suddenly appearing in front of Class 5.
And the child was not carrying anything with him, he was just leaning on the railing and staring blankly.
She teaches three classes, one is Lin Jin's class and the other is Mu Xu's class. To her, both Lin Jin and Mu Xu are her beloved disciples whom she holds in her heart.
Mu Xu stiffened when he heard that, then said nonchalantly, "The flowers in front of this class are blooming beautifully. Come and enjoy them."
After saying that, he said, "Teacher, I'll go first." Then he turned and went upstairs.
Teacher Yang said "Oh", and imitated Mu Xu, standing there admiring the flowers for a long time, then pulled Lin Jin, who was about to go to the office, and asked: "Are these flowers blooming well?" How could the child be so fascinated by them?
Maybe it's a soil problem. The school has planted countless trees like this, but this one is the only one that has full bloom. The red color spreads across the top like fire, covering up the little bit of green that's left.
Lin Jin was confused by her question. He admired it for a long time and said, "It's very beautiful."
It would be a good idea to pick a few for Mom, Dad, and Grandma, he thought.
When the class was divided in the second year of high school, Mu Xu, who had always been sensible, hesitated for a long time.
He didn't know why he suddenly hesitated, but he just inexplicably wanted to be in a class that could focus more on the liberal arts. Fortunately, every time he passed by others, he could see a little bit of his own shadow in those beautiful eyes.
Ms. Qiao looked at her son holding the subject division sheet motionlessly and felt something was wrong.
So she put down her Hermès bag and, with a rare motherly concern for her free-range son, asked, "Why do you look so sad?"
Mu Xu glanced at the girlish woman in her late 40s, hesitated to speak, and then said, "There is a good student named Lin Jin in the school."
He seemed to have no idea how to start.
He pondered for a long time, then under Ms. Qiao's gossipy gaze, said something incoherent and distressed: "The science class and the arts class are not on the same floor."
And Lin Jin chose the full text.
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