Chapter 47: Absent
Inside the house, Mu Xu sat on the sofa, and the voice of the person in his arms became smaller and smaller.
Mu Xu patted his back gently and sang a nursery rhyme to comfort him. He lowered his eyes and saw Lin Jin beginning to fall asleep. He whispered, "Go to sleep. Everything will be fine when you wake up."
As soon as he finished speaking, he heard Lin Jin mumbling in his sleep. His voice was filled with tears and was vague and pitiful: "Grandma... I'm so tired and miss you. If I die, I will go to find you."
Lin Jin didn't know what else his life was about.
Since childhood, everyone has said he was his parents' good boy, and Lin Jin never refuted this. His world is made up of a simple composition: his parents and his grandmother. His father is gentle and elegant, his mother is gentle and generous, and his grandmother is open-minded and optimistic. Their shadows appear in Lin Jin's life every day.
Dad would work overtime the day before to complete his tasks for his parent-teacher meeting.
Mom would cancel a series of meetings for his birthday.
In order to make him happy, grandma would buy him a big lollipop every week and go to the place where he got off the bus in advance to pick him up and take him home. Then, reluctantly, she would walk him to the bus stop with her old steps.
At first, when he first went to high school, the old lady was not used to it. She watched him get on the bus and secretly wiped away her tears on the way home. When she heard that he would go home once a month in his senior year, she couldn't help but tear up again.
Lin Jin knew that he was happy enough, so every time he made a birthday wish, he just hoped that his family would be healthy.
However, in just three years, his family members left him one after another.
His life was so simple, as simple as a circle, divided into three parts, one called dad, one called mom, and one called grandma.
But in the blink of an eye, his circle was empty.
Lin Jin suddenly felt confused. He didn’t know what the meaning of life was. It seemed that it was okay to be alive, and it was okay to be gone the next second.
A few days before the old lady passed away, she suddenly said she wanted to go out for a walk, as if she had a premonition.
He helped the old lady walk all the way, and after they finished walking around the entire night market, the old lady could hardly walk anymore, but she still insisted on walking around.
They walked to a deserted path.
As the old lady was walking, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "Baby, if grandma is gone, can you take care of yourself?"
The old lady looked at her grandson's beautiful hands and suddenly regretted not teaching him to cook. She thought that the family was well-off, and when Xiao Jin grew up and got married, she could hire a cook. But now, she was still worried, worried that the cook wouldn't suit his taste and that she wouldn't be able to take good care of him.
Lin Jin was silent for a moment, then replied, "Probably."
He actually had a lot of negative things he wanted to say, but he also wanted the old lady to spend her last few days in peace, so every word he said was meant to coax her against his will.
Say you will take care of yourself.
He said he would study hard to get his diploma.
Said he would be strong.
But she didn't know that Lin Jin had already fallen into the quagmire where she couldn't see.
The old lady was comforted and finally smiled again. She patted the back of Lin Jin's hand and said, "Then I'm relieved."
Then one sunny afternoon, I fell asleep and never woke up again.
*
In the afternoon after his grandmother's funeral, the sun shone directly into the house, enveloping Lin Jin and the urn next to him, but he felt so cold that his bones were shivering.
Now, it's really just him.
From now on, no matter how good a trophy he wins, no one will be proud of him.
When he gets off the bus and goes home, there is no one waiting for him on the roadside with a lollipop.
When he got home, no one asked him what he wanted to eat.
He had clearly anticipated his grandmother's death, but when he had dealt with everything, he still collapsed.
He lay in bed in a daze, the curtains drawn, unaware of the passage of time. He felt only hunger, stomach pain, and a swollen mind with nowhere to vent.
In a daze, he suddenly missed the two boys he met in his senior year of high school.
I really wish they could be there again, like they did then, hug him, touch his head, and tell him that everything is fine and he doesn't have to feel bad anymore.
Lin Jin felt terrible, as if his heart, head, and eyes were about to explode. With his mind in a mess, he went downstairs and bought some wine to get himself drunk.
I have a headache, stomachache, eyeache, and I feel uncomfortable everywhere.
He felt that alcohol was not very effective, and the more he drank, the more uncomfortable he felt. However, it seemed that by drinking, he could see the boy he wanted to see.
He stared at him for a long time, the tears he had been holding back suddenly flowed out, and he choked out, "Come on, comfort me."
He followed him obediently, then got drunk and started crying, dreaming about his grandmother and talking nonsense.
He murmured and vaguely saw the man kissing him. His head ached and his hearing was blurry. He was breathless from the kisses. Only when they occasionally separated did he hear the young man pleading, "Please don't say these words. Stay alive. Please, Lin Jin."
Lin Jin thought about it for a long time before realizing that he had just said he wanted to go find his grandmother.
grandmother.
Grandma is gone.
Thinking of this, his heart felt like it was burning, his stomach felt uncomfortable, and he cried again in pain. He tilted his head with tears in his eyes: "...nausea." Nausea, nausea in his stomach, uncomfortable, uncomfortable in his body, and uncomfortable in his heart.
He curled up into a ball.
The person holding him seemed panicked and kept apologizing.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He heard the man wipe his tears with trembling hands and say, "I won't do it again."
*
After a hangover that day, when Lin Jin woke up, it was already dark.
When he opened his eyes, he saw his distant cousin Zheng Shu.
The young man sat obediently in the distance, looking reserved and worried.
Lin Jin was stunned for a long time and asked, "Why are you here?"
It's no wonder he was surprised. The last time they met was at his parents' funeral, and they didn't even say a word to each other.
Although he had no prejudice against Zheng Shu, nor was he upset about the text message sent to him by Zheng Shu's mother, he just woke up and found someone empty in the room.
He was instinctively alert.
Zheng Shu rubbed his head and said, "I'm a university student here. I saw you drinking and being harassed downstairs last night, so I brought you back. Would you like some hangover soup first?"
Zheng Shu, who was used to being domineering and arrogant, now dared not say a word.
After all, he was grabbed by Mu Xu in the middle of the night to be a stand-in, and he had to memorize a bunch of lines; his cousin was not ordinary smart, and no matter which side he offended, it would be fatal.
Zheng Shu felt like the sky was falling.
Otherwise, if Mu Xu had not testified for him that he did not cheat in one of his competitions and eventually won a national award, with his violent temper, he would have really turned the family upside down if he was caught in the middle of the night.
But now, not only is he not angry, he is also full of responsibility and just wants to fulfill this opportunity to repay his gratitude seriously.
The story of how he and Mu Xu first met was that he once saw a competition announcement board and said to his classmates, "Lin Jin? Hey, I have a cousin named Lin Jin, and he's very handsome and has good grades. But we haven't been in touch in a while. I heard he went to No. 1 High School, which is a very prestigious high school. I don't know which university he got into."
Then he heard a deep and pleasant voice beside him say, "A University."
Later he thought about it and thought that maybe Mu Xu was willing to testify for him because of his cousin.
Otherwise, Mu Xu would probably be too lazy to get involved in these matters.
Zheng Shu collected his thoughts, brought the hangover soup prepared by Mu Xu, and coaxed Lin Jin to drink it while it was hot. He also heated up the food prepared by Mu Xu and coaxed him to eat it.
Then, under Lin Jin's scrutiny, he pretended to throw the broken jar around: "Yes, yes, it's true that I didn't do it. I just felt that my cooking skills were too bad, so I ordered takeout to show off. Don't expose me!"
It takes ten or a hundred lies to cover up one lie.
By the time Lin Jin had finished eating quietly, Zheng Shu, who always despised liars, had already mastered it.
He hurriedly sent the people off to rest, saying, "I'll wash, I'll wash."
It was the first time that Lin Jin saw someone so passionate about washing dishes. He glanced at him strangely and sat back on the sofa.
His slender back leaned against the sofa, soft and comfortable, and a picture flashed by in an instant.
It seemed that when he was drunk, someone coaxed him to sleep on the sofa and kissed him until he was breathless.
Lin Jin raised his hand and touched his lips.
After a moment, he called Zheng Shu and asked, "Did anyone use the sofa last night?"
Zheng Shu knew his lines by heart and quickly said, "Yes, yesterday, as soon as you came back, you just lay there, crying non-stop, and you kept clinging to my clothes and wouldn't let go."
Zheng Shu added fuel to the fire and changed the original sentence "You fell drunk on the sofa after you came back and couldn't be woken up" to "You were acting crazy while drunk."
Lin Jin felt embarrassed by what he said and stopped asking questions. He just thought he was dreaming and quickly asked someone to go in and wash the dishes.
After packing up, Lin Jin saw that Zheng Shu was unwilling to leave and was ready to stay here. He asked, "Aren't you going back to school? What time do you have curfew?"
Zheng Shu said nonchalantly, "Cousin, I was kicked out by my roommates. They drink and act crazy in the dormitory every day. Can you take me in?"
Upon hearing this, Lin Jin looked him up and down.
Zheng Shu said, "Smell my clothes and see if they stink. I haven't taken a shower in three days. I don't have any money and I don't want to go back to the dormitory."
Zheng Shu really has no money.
And because his mother was hospitalized after his aunt and uncle's funeral, which cost a lot of money, his father blamed his mother and Lin Jin for this. He took her back home before she recovered and made her do heavy work. He even beat her up when he was unhappy.
After that, Zheng Shu became his aunt's substitute.
Listen to my mother complain and cry.
He also followed his aunt's path, asking her to divorce him, and then felt disappointed when she said "forget it, we're an old married couple" again and again.
Later, his father scolded him for instigating his mother to divorce and beat him up.
After that, Zheng Shu stopped contacting his family. He lost both his living expenses and his tuition. He started working part-time during the day and playing games at night to earn money. If his sponsors were happy, they would even give him a small tip.
But Zheng Shu was strong-willed and never liked to talk about anything with others. He always pretended to be nonchalant and heartless. Then, his body was covered with thorns and he would prick anyone who pissed him off.
The guys in the dorm knew Zheng Shu loved money and competitions, but they never understood his inner world. When everyone else was having fun, he usually joined in. Everyone was having fun, but they were still studying.
The whole dormitory accommodates each other.
Therefore, what Zheng Shu said was half true and half false. The truth was that he had no money, but the truth was that he was kicked out by his roommates.
If the guys in the dormitory knew what he said, he would probably be publicly punished, saying, "Son, when has Dad ever been mean to you? Wait, I'll help you raise your hand throughout the class, so wait and answer the questions!!"
Zheng Shu acted pitifully while apologizing to the guys in his dormitory in his heart, and then he was glad that he had a hangover in the dormitory with that guy last night and didn't have time to take a shower or change clothes.
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