Chapter 128 Kiss me, am I being mean like this?
It was as if a bucket of ice water was poured over Xu Xingxing from head to toe. She became hypothermic, shivering, stiff, and shaking.
By the time she realized what was happening, she had already rushed out of the house and started looking for someone.
She searched dozens of streets in the city at the fastest speed ever, but could not find any trace of Yuan.
Xiao Tao was just a low-level maid, and what she heard was not necessarily true, so she returned to the princess's mansion and turned the house upside down, but there was no trace of him at all.
Those she caught and questioned all wore expressions of bewilderment and terror. She dealt with those who tried to stop her with decisive and ruthless action.
She vaguely understood Hou Yuan, and understood the kind of indifference that made him so annoyed that he wanted everyone to die.
Why are you pretending to be a good person?
Go to hell, go to hell. Anyone who dares to hurt him, go to hell.
Hatred and fear arise together, anxiety and despair arise together.
Unable to open her spiritual consciousness, she could only search around like a headless fly.
As time passed, the strings in her head became tighter and tighter.
Go to hell!
She ignored everything and broke into the most luxurious courtyard in the princess's mansion. With a few moves, she snatched the sword from a guard and rushed into the princess's room.
She killed anyone who tried to stop her. With a few sharp strikes, she chopped off a pile of heads. She pushed through the crowd, pointing her sword at the man on the couch, and demanded in a hateful voice, "Where is he?"
The frail princess's expression suddenly became strange. She smiled as she looked at her with a split lip. "All of this has already happened. What are you trying to change? What are you trying to stop? Have you forgotten? This is what he wanted."
Her body stiffened, and she fell uncontrollably into the cold.
Yes, it had already happened, and she couldn't stop it. This was just an illusion, a vision he had subconsciously chosen. Furthermore, Hou Yuan had the ability to recover, so he couldn't die. As long as they got out of this illusion, everything would be fine again...
so……
...Is she going to keep burying her head in the sand and act like an ostrich protected by others?
Should she let him relive the heartbreaking past for her sake without any resentment?
Does she really love him?
What's the difference between her and that bastard Shi Chen and the disgusting princess?
They rely on their power and magic, but what about her?
She finally peeled away the chaos and saw what was wrong.
What she has always relied on is his love for her.
His love is paranoid, crazy, extremely morbid, but also pure, sincere and extremely partial.
And what about her? She seemed doting but was actually ready to withdraw at any time; she seemed happy but actually never really stood with him.
What is this, playing with him?
Yes, because of her uncle Chen Li, Cheng Xue and Fang Qi, she wanted to escape and push him away, but was it all his fault?
Since when did she start putting all her mistakes on him?
Did he feel it? He did, but he had no complaints, only willingly enduring it. Now, for her, he had to endure this purgatory-like suffering all over again, walk through this nightmare all over again.
He clearly dislikes it, clearly hates it.
Her brows were full of coldness. She pierced the princess' throat with a sword, then placed the sword across her neck and slashed it with force. Blood spread across her neck and she fell to the ground, her vision quickly blurring.
Before she lost consciousness, a conversation flashed through her mind:
"What a coincidence! I just happened to possess the person who brought you food."
"That's no coincidence."
When she asked further, Yuan just smiled and said nothing.
So, if she died, would she be able to go closer to him?
.
She woke up suddenly, gasping for breath, and immediately looked around.
In front of her was a secret room, filled with many cleaned torture instruments, all neatly arranged. The person she possessed was sleeping on a relatively tidy bed. Therefore, although this room looked scary, it should be a place for people to rest.
Just as she was about to get up and leave, she ran into someone. The person saw her and said anxiously, "You're just awake now. Come and take my shift."
"Replacement?" Xu Xingxing said in a daze.
"It's just been sent to the princess's mansion. They said they want a whole human skin. Skinning is a delicate job and one person can't do it. You go and help. I'm going to take a shit and then I'll take your turn." The man said and walked out without stopping.
Xu Xingxing felt cold and her throat was clogged. She heard herself say, "...Where?"
The man turned around in surprise, looking like he couldn't hold back his shit. "Did you fall asleep? Go to the end and turn left. Let's..."
Xu Xingxing rushed out at a speed that was unattainable for a normal person.
This distance only took a few seconds at her speed, but it gave her the illusion that it was the longest distance in the world.
She finally reached the outside of the cell and kicked the door open. The person inside looked up in panic. When he saw it was her, he cursed, "Are you having a seizure? Can you slow down?"
After cursing, he went back to work.
Xu Xingxing looked along his arm and saw that the man's hand was carefully peeling the skin of the man on the wooden bed along the spine.
The young man she had been looking for was now lying on the wooden bed, his face facing inward, enduring this cruel torture motionlessly.
The skin on his entire back had been completely peeled off, even the bright red texture on the back of his neck was exposed. Blood was slowly flowing down, the wooden bed was covered with blood, and the entire floor was covered with crimson.
"Eh? What are you still standing there for? Hand me the scissors on the shelf. Don't waste time, the princess will need this skin tomorrow morning!" After the torturer said this to Xu Xingxing, he bowed his head and said to the young man, "You are really tough. If you weren't still breathing, I would have thought you were peeling a dead person's skin."
The executioner noticed someone coming to his side and stretched out his hand without even looking up. However, he did not wait until the scissors were placed in his palm. Instead, he turned it in the person's hand and put it into his throat.
After Xu Xingxing dealt with this man, he quickly took off his coat, wrapped the man on the wooden bed tightly, and fled the place with him on his back.
Some people blocked her way and some people chased her, but it was nothing to Xu Xingxing. She quickly left those people behind and escaped from the city.
And from beginning to end, Hou Yuan held her neck obediently without saying a word.
Xu Xingxing didn't say anything. She used her memories of the present life to escape to a nearby mountain and found a natural cave.
After she slowly placed Hou Yuan in a stable position, she lit a fire nearby and then came over to take a closer look at him.
The boy's face was stained with blood, his features pale and gloomy. He was also looking at her, his eyes were gentle, and his voice was soft and low: "Xingxing, I'm sorry."
Xu Xingxing's heart was instantly filled with grievance and resentment. She raised her hand, grabbed the man's collar and bit his lips. She bit the beautiful white lips hard, and at the same time, a huge hole was opened in her heart.
When she left, her face was covered in tears. She didn't respond. Just as she was about to stand up, she was pulled by her sleeve by Xuan Yuan: "Xingxing...are you blaming me?"
Xu Xingxing carefully wiped the blood off his cheek with his sleeve and said, "The wound on your back needs to be treated. The skin that has been peeled off is almost clumping together."
However, Hou Yuan stubbornly held her wrist, raised his eyes and said, "Don't worry about it, I want to look at you."
Xu Xingxing looked at the man's paranoid eyes, and suddenly her mind flashed back to the pair of pupils filled with lust last night. Even under such crazy demands, he was still so stubborn and determined. The words he whispered in her ear over and over again at that time finally became clear at this moment:
"Xingxing, please don't despise me."
Why do you say that?
It seemed as if he had been saying this ever since she entered the illusion.
She didn't even have time to feel heartache, so how could she hate him?
She slowly leaned over and gently kissed the knuckles that were gripping her wrist, looking up at him, "I'm in charge."
The kiss burned Hou Yuan's hands so much that they trembled for a moment. The woman saw the opportunity to break free and came to his back.
His body stiffened even more, and his voice became hoarse: "...It's ugly."
Xu Xingxing looked at the bloody mess on his back and finally stopped her hands from shaking subconsciously. After hearing him say this, she pecked him on the back of the head again and said, "How could it be? You are the most perfect in my heart."
Another sweet talk that comes to mind.
Zhu Yuan's body suddenly became stiffer, and he said, "Nonsense." But the aura around him became light and airy uncontrollably.
He has always been so easy to please.
Thinking of this, her mood became even more depressed.
She slowly peeled off the hair stuck to his back, then gently lifted up the already wrinkled skin. She hesitated for a moment, thinking that with Hou Yuan's physique, covering the skin back on his back would help him recover better. But just as she was about to do so, she heard Hou Yuan say, "Just cut it off."
Xu Xingxing was startled and said, "Okay."
As he spoke, he slowly cut along the edge where the skin and texture met with the blade.
The blood-soaked flesh was wet and soft, reminding her of the smooth feeling she had felt before. A similar touch, one vibrant and hot, the other eerily silent and still.
This thought made her tears fall uncontrollably again, and she could only wipe them away with her elbows.
She was extremely careful, but a lot of blood still came out. Soon, her hands were stained with blood.
She finally finished processing the skin and flesh, leaving only naked, fragile red flesh on Zuo Yuan's entire back and even the back of his neck. However, she had no medicine on her and could not bandage it, so she had no idea what to do next.
Can only watch.
She didn't dare to look, but stared at it masochistically.
Wei Yuan probably sensed her feelings and said, "Just leave it there. It will grow back on its own."
"I'll go buy medicine tomorrow." Xu Xingxing said.
"No need." He turned his head slightly back and said softly, "Xingxing, please send me back to that village tomorrow."
"Which one?" Xu Xingxing asked.
"I encountered Shi Chen's place." Hou Yuan paused at this point, then smiled and said, "Now I still have a way to let Shi Chen take me away. After a few days of recovery, I will be in trouble."
The anger in Xu Xingxing's heart rushed into her mind again, and she said coldly: "I won't send you there."
Hou Yuan's body trembled slightly, and then his voice became soft, as if trying to persuade her: "Xingxing, you can't avoid what is going to happen."
Xu Xingxing's heart ached, tears welled up in her eyes again. She retorted, "Why can't I escape? This is just an illusion, not the real past!"
The air was silent for a moment, with only the crackling sound of the burning fire remaining in the cave. A strong smell of blood floated around, which became sweet after smelling it too much.
Wei Yuan was the first to break the silence. His voice was so low it sounded like an illusion, and in this cave it seemed somewhat ethereal: "Stars..."
Xu Xingxing wiped the tears from her cheeks, stood up and walked in front of Wei Yuan. The boy looked up at her, his dark eyes reflecting the firelight, silent and fragile.
She lifted her skirt and knelt on the ground, looking him straight in the eye. She asked seriously, "Yuan Yuan, why did you hide the skinning incident from me?"
Zhu Yuan's eyelids trembled slightly, and before he could say anything, he heard the woman say, "You must be afraid that I would be upset, so you deliberately kept this from me, right?"
Yu Yuan looked at her, was silent for a long time, and finally nodded.
The woman continued, "Then, are there other things you're hiding from me?"
Zhu Yuan's pupils shrank sharply, but returned to normal in an instant. He was about to speak when the woman interrupted him: "I'll speak first, and you answer me later, okay?"
After saying this, the woman moved closer and held both of his hands in her palms.
Small hands, holding big hands.
Yuan Yuan's heart couldn't help but soften and tremble.
Xu Xingxing held his hand for a long time, and finally spoke the first words:
"sorry."
A cool breeze suddenly blew, tangling their hair together. A tear slid down her cheek, but Xu Xingxing ignored it. She looked into the man's wide eyes and said seriously,
"Xiao Hei, I'm sorry."
After she said this, the rest of the words immediately poured out. She went from looking at him to not daring to look at him, but the words still flowed out one by one:
"I'm sorry. I clearly said before that I wouldn't leave you and wouldn't abandon you, but I pushed you away again and again."
"I'm sorry. Master Uncle and I were both responsible for what happened to him, but I blamed it all on you, saying harsh words and ignoring you."
"I'm sorry for making you feel so insecure..."
"Xiao Hei, there are a lot of things I can't figure out, a lot, but I don't want to think about them now. I want to hear you talk about it." Xu Xingxing held his hand tighter and tighter, tears streaming down her face. "Will you tell me? Or, because I've broken your heart before, will you never believe me again?"
When did she feel that something was wrong with this illusion?
Was it when he fell asleep while being intimate with Niu Yuan, and the next day he happened to possess the person who brought food to Niu Yuan?
Was it when Hou Yuan clearly said that she was sentenced to death by the princess, but she didn't have to go through this at all?
Or did she wake up again and possess a maid, and Yu Yuan had just been resentful of her because she had looked at another man's body the day before?
He seemed to have some control over this illusion.
But the wounds on his body were always real.
While she was frantically searching for him, she ran into a familiar male lover. She pressed him, and he replied with a look of regret, "I'm heartbroken that he's dead. If he hadn't committed the crime of assassinating the princess, I would have pleaded for him. It's such a pity that he was taken away before I could remove the poisonous insect I had planted in him. My dear, I'm heartbroken."
"What kind of insect poison? There are so many, but he's really strange. The love poison has no effect on him. Even the centipede that crawled into his ear couldn't control his mind. Even the bone-eating poison couldn't make him wail and beg for mercy. Tonight, the phantom spider plus the love poison made me think that his relationship with the princess would be a done deal. I never thought he could break free from the illusion and hurt the princess. Haha, it's really strange, strange, strange."
The male favorite clearly had a look of pity on his face, but he spoke vicious and cruel words. Xu Xingxing directly threw all the poisonous insects in his room onto him, sealed the entire house completely, and then turned and left.
Her nerves were tense and her mind was hazy at the time, but when she finally found him and took him away without saying anything, she encountered something.
Why, after she killed the princess and saved Hou Yuan, the illusion didn't collapse?
What did the princess say before she died?
"That's what he wants."
So, what exactly does he want?
She looked at the boy, but tears blocked her sight. She wanted to hug him, but was afraid of touching the wound on his back. She simply clasped her hands with his and continued, "I... don't believe in love between men and women."
Feeling the boy's body tremble violently, she tightened her grip on his hand. "No, I was wrong. I don't believe anyone can love me forever. My father gave up so much for my mother, and after we finally got together, he fell in love with someone else within a few years and left both my mother and me behind. So, I've always thought that love between men and women is mostly like this, nothing good."
Wei Yuan's voice was extremely rough, filled with blood and anger: "So you said... your love for me is... fake?"
"How is that possible!" Xu Xingxing's fingertips turned pale as she gripped Hou Yuan's fingertips. "I said I love you, and I really do, but I'm probably a little lacking and evasive in this kind of intimate relationship. I subconsciously avoid thinking about the future and prepare a way out for myself in case you change your mind."
"Change of heart?" Zhu Yuan's body tensed up instantly. "Are you afraid that I...will change my heart?"
"Yes, maybe more than that, I don't know. But it doesn't mean that I don't love you, it's just that I am subconsciously protecting myself." Having said that, Xu Xingxing wiped away her tears and looked at Yuan. The boy's face was also stained with blood and tears, and his pupils were trembling as he looked at himself.
She took a deep breath and continued, "When I first came to this world, the system, that is, the god, told me that if I completed the task of the Book of Beasts, it would allow me to make a wish. My wish has always been to return to my original world."
Her hands were instantly gripped by Hou Yuan, causing them to hurt. Her expression remained unchanged as she continued, "But if this wish changes in the future, even if I really want to return to that world, I will take you with me."
"I will break my retreat, wear away my subconscious avoidance, and take you with me wherever I go. I will deeply bind my future to you and never think of pushing you away again. Okay, Yuan Yuan? Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Outside, a drizzle began to fall, and the fire in the cave was gradually extinguished, but no one cared or paid any attention.
Tears of blood like beads fell from Zhu Yuan's eyes uncontrollably. He stared at her in a daze, opening his mouth several times but saying nothing.
After an unknown amount of time, Wei Yuan finally opened his lips, but his voice was hoarse: "You...really won't abandon me again?"
"Not again. I swear."
"Star……"
"I am here."
"Kiss me."
Xu Xingxing propped himself up and raised his lips.
The lips and tongue went from lightly touching to entwining, the breath changed from trembling to heavy panting, and the sweet kiss was mixed with the wet and salty taste of tears.
It took a long time before it stopped. Xu Xingxing was dazed for a moment and realized that she had been held on Wei Yuan's legs without her knowing.
She took a deep breath, held the boy's face and asked softly, "Can you tell me now, is there anything else you are hiding from me?"
Hou Yuan held her in his arms, lowering his eyelids, not daring to look at her: "I said, Xingxing, don't be angry."
"Let me hear it." Xu Xingxing kissed his trembling eyelashes. "I will still be angry when I need to be angry, but I won't leave you even if I'm angry."
Hou Yuan was stunned for a moment, then slowly buried his face in the crook of the woman's neck, deeply inhaling her scent. After a while, he finally spoke, "This illusion was what I had always wished for. The change happened after you arrived. If you hadn't come, this illusion would have continued like this, probably until I met you at Spirit Beast Mountain. But after you came, this illusion immediately figured out my plan and set you up as the link to push me to perfection."
Xu Xingxing nudged his ear and asked, "What is a ring?"
Hou Yuan's voice was a little hoarse: "That's right, your actions are not bound by my past. Even if they deviate from the real past, they are still considered the illusion itself."
"Then I could have taken you away by force from the beginning?"
"yes."
Xu Xingxing sighed, carefully avoiding his injured back, hugged him and asked softly, "Then why didn't you tell me?"
"I don't want to." Hou Yuan hugged her tightly, like a naughty and clingy child. "I don't want you to deliberately coax me to save Gu Nuo. You are kind and soft-hearted, and you are sincere to others, but I am despicable and just want to monopolize you. I am in this illusion and at a disadvantage. I thought that here, you can only feel sorry for me, and you can only smile at me... Thinking of this, I don't want to talk to you anymore."
Xu Xingxing's heart was pounding. Finally, she couldn't help but turn her head and kiss his earlobe. She said, "Which eye of yours can see that I'm sincere to others? I'm just being civilized and polite, okay? In this world, all I want is to quickly complete my mission and go home, but... it's different when I'm with you."
Zhu Yuan was startled, raised his head to look at her, his eyes sparkling: "Isn't it different?"
Xu Xingxing couldn't help but kissed his lips again: "Of course it's different, very different. Only you make me feel that this world is real. Only when I'm with you am I Xu Xingxing, not Xu Xing'er. There are many more things. I will tell you slowly in the future, okay?"
Wei Yuan liked the word "later". He looked at the woman, his Adam's apple rolled, and he couldn't help but kiss her again.
The extinguished flames lit up with tiny sparks in the cool breeze, just like the trembling heart of Hou Yuan.
After a long time of lingering, they finally stopped. He looked into the woman's misty eyes, gently rubbed her forehead, and murmured, "...I'm obviously afraid that you will despise me, but I also hope that you will cherish me. I'm obviously afraid that you will fall into this illusion, and when you really come, I think it would be great if I could use my suffering to put a shackle on you in this illusion.
"Xingxing, am I being despicable?"
"It's not despicable, but it's a bit of a moral blackmail. However..."
Xu Xingxing couldn't help but ask, "You've said it several times, but I really can't figure it out. What are you afraid that I'll dislike?"
Niu Yuan was silent for a moment, then lowered his eyes and said, "I am now... very weak and incompetent."
"It's just right that I can protect you." Xu Xingxing answered swiftly, "If I don't know how to do anything and get bullied, looking utterly miserable and ugly, will you despise me?"
Wei Yuan was agitated by her question, and raised his eyes with sinister intent: "Whoever dares to do this to you, I will kill him-"
"I know." Xu Xingxing interrupted his villain line, "So, I am the same as you."
After saying this, she reflected for a moment: "No, I am much worse than you, but in the future, I will love you more, love you well, love you wholeheartedly, and will never think of leaving you again. So, please don't hurt yourself intentionally and make me feel sad again."
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