Chapter 304

Paranoia.

Delusional disorder, also known as paranoia, is a psychiatric diagnosis that refers to "the presence of one or more non-bizarre delusions in the absence of other psychiatric symptoms."

Judging from Yu Tu's various manifestations after he was discharged from the hospital, his symptoms have deviated from the definition of "non-weird" and are more like something between delusion and hallucination.

Yu Tu watched himself being transferred out of the ICU. Unfamiliar medical staff walked around him like a flowing white wall. In the cracks of the white wall, he saw "Mom".

The mother in my memory was well maintained, with almost no fine lines around her eyes, but now there are obvious red bloodshot eyes, large dark circles under her eyes, fatigue all over her face, white hair on her temples, and she looks like an unkempt wolf.

They stared at each other across the white wall, and Yu Tu saw the heartbreak in her eyes, which was the powerlessness and despair of watching his beloved child walk step by step towards death.

Yu Tu was stabbed by such a look, and his chaotic memories began to surge again. The pain became more intense, and dizziness, nausea and vomiting surged up at the same time. He heard a harsh sound from the instruments connected to his body, and a large group of people rushed in. The gaps in the white wall were filled, and his vision became more and more blurred.

He lost consciousness again.

When he woke up again, he was back in the ICU. Unfamiliar instruments bound his movements like ropes. He felt extremely tired. His brain was like a rusted machine, unable to function or think. Every breath he took caused severe pain in his chest. This unbearable pain told him over and over again that he was alive. He was truly alive.

Being unable to move and struggling to breathe, Yu Tu's perception of time becomes more acute. He feels that time passes so slowly. In the ICU where the lights are on for a long time, he loses the sense of day and night.

Medical staff came and went, and no one spoke to him. He seemed like just a living, breathing object. In the hospital, patients had no dignity, and everyone who came here was trying to survive in pain.

The "tick-tick-tick" sound of the instrument was regular and lonely. Over a long period of time, Yu Tu began to sort out the memories in his mind bit by bit: the magnificent and fantastic inner world, the ordinary and happy life, the door that would not be opened on a snowy night, the warm and beautiful little home, the dangerous experiences, the peace of mind of daily life... Two completely different lives kept jumping around in his mind.

Was this a continuation of the previous illusion, or were those unscientific experiences... just a fantasy of his from the beginning?

A nurse came over and expertly connected new medicine to the catheter in his arm. The cold medicine flowed through his blood vessels and seemed to cool his heart a little.

Yu Tu stared at the drops of potion falling from the bottle. The drops reflected his distorted face. Everything seemed so real, without any falsehood.

Who is real? Who is fake?

Yu Tu couldn't tell the difference anymore.

He stared at the scenery separated by iron bars, just sitting there in a daze. After being in the ICU several times, he was finally released from the hospital. But the pain when breathing, the several operations, and the wolf rehabilitation after treatment for nerve damage, everything was particularly real.

The loss of consciousness soon after the anesthetic injection, the discomfort of fear while lying on the operating table, the panic of losing control of limbs after getting out of bed - can illusions really reach this extent?

There is no spiritual power, no runes, no sword techniques. These things exist in his mind, magnificent and fantastic, but if you think about it carefully, they are castles in the air. All the details disappear when you look into them in depth, as if the structure of the story cannot stand up to scrutiny.

After Yu Tu was discharged from the hospital, his gentle mother got angry at him for the first time. She broke down and yelled, and all her former dignity disappeared:

"You said this world is fake, so I acted with you. You said you wanted to paint, so I prepared a studio for you. I supported you desperately even if I didn't understand what you liked. What did I do wrong? You keep tearing my heart out like this!

Yu Tu! ! I will obey you, indulge you, and tolerate you no matter what you want, but what about you? How do you treat me? ! You hurt yourself again and again, and you don’t take your life seriously again and again. I don’t ask for anything, I just want you to live a healthy life, is that so difficult! "

She screamed, her skinny back arched like a broken bridge, and as it broke, she let out a hoarse, desperate wail: "Is this... so difficult? Tell mom, is this so difficult..."

She sat on the ground hugging her knees, tears streaming down her face as she looked at Shangyu Tu's stunned face: "Why can't I understand your world? Why... What should I do with you, Tu Tu, Mommy has no choice..."

She was like a beast that had lost its mind. Pain, despair, hatred, and heartache, these complex emotions were torn apart and stuck together by love, forming a vortex of despair. But the underlying colour of the vortex was still love.

Because I love him, I suffer doubly.

There was no blind tolerance or support; her reaction was just like that of millions of ordinary people in this world, real people with flesh and blood.

Yu Tu looked at her eyes that were constantly shedding tears. Her eyes were full of red bloodshot, and the expression on her face was strange and evil because of the pain. He remembered her in his mind.

"Mom." Yu Tu tried hard to smile, "Please send me back."

He said in a calm voice, "Let's go find Dr. Zhou and try again."

…

Yu Tu returned to the mental hospital where he first woke up, and the attending doctor was still named Zhou.

He had to take a lot of brightly colored pills every day and was in a daze most of the time. Occasionally, when he was awake, he would sit by the window. The iron railings divided the scenery into several small pieces, and spring, summer, autumn and winter passed by one after another.

Yu Tu threw away everything related to the inner world and tore up all the drawing papers. He quietly received treatment. Those magnificent and fantastic things were getting further and further away from him, and his evaluation scores were getting higher day by day.

Mom and Dad often come to see him. They always smile, but there is deep worry in their eyes. He has recovered and relapsed many times. No one knows when he will get better, or when he will say goodbye to this world completely.

Yu Tu was as quiet as a lifeless doll, or a slowly withering flower.

During the first year of treatment, Yu Tu forgot all the spells and sword techniques he had learned.

In the second year of treatment, Yu Tu's memory of the inner world began to blur.

In the third year of treatment, Yu Tu began to forget his friends and relatives.

During the fourth year of treatment, Yu Tu remembered nothing, but he stroked the two ugly scars on his right arm and added a third deeper scar with the broken mirror he had hidden.

It was snowing outside the window at that time, and the blood dripping on the white quilt looked like blooming plum blossoms.

Yu Tu, bleeding, opened the door that imprisoned him.

The nurses who saw him in the corridor screamed sharply and they frantically pressed him. The shrill ringing and chaotic footsteps covered up the gentle sound of the falling snow.

Someone was stopping his bleeding, someone was bandaging his wounds, these feelings were so real.

"Thank you." Yu Tu said softly, "I actually don't remember anything."

Through the gaps in the crowd, the snow falling outside the window came into his eyes, fluttering and covering everything.

"But I remember that I still have something very important to accomplish."

Even though he no longer remembers what it was.

…

After waking up from excessive blood loss, Yu Tu saw an endless desolate expanse. He rolled up his right sleeve, revealing his arm to be smooth and white, without the ugly scar.

The lost memories returned belatedly, diluting the four years of confusion in the illusion. Yu Tu blinked slowly, and for a moment he didn't even know what day it was.

His friends lay sprawled beside him. Yu Tu staggered to his feet and checked their breaths one by one. A faint stream of air hit his hands - they were all alive.

Yu Tu remembered everything.

The vest was surrounded by the waves of the endless sea and pushed into the scenery in the gap. Gu Hongying and Canglong also disappeared in the gap.

According to the plan, Gu Hongying and he should open the gate of life and death and open the gap between life and death. They will complete everything in the gap, but Canglong intervenes and the final location is changed. Yu Tu senses that the final destination of the half consciousness in his vest is [Desolate Mountain].

Afterwards, he lost contact with the vest again.

No one knows what happened in the "Desolate Mountain". The sun and the moon came out at the same time, the spiritual energy was overwhelming, and the constructed formation madly absorbed the spiritual energy to suppress the growing monsters, and then various natural disasters followed.

With Huailin Town as the center and Wutong Town as the border, almost the entire Chongming City’s population was evacuated, because Chongming City became the largest weird gathering point in the entire world.

Whether it was the alien beasts that had not yet been completely wiped out in the seal or the newly born monsters, those above C-rank seemed to have been inspired by something and all rushed here. Those that were unable to move and were firmly fixed in a certain place were also moved here by an unknown mysterious force.

Except for the necessary personnel to maintain the formation, all the living forces of the inner and outer worlds were concentrated outside Chongming City. This was the first time that the technological side and the mysterious side stood together in such a united way.

When it comes to life and death, everything else can be put off until later.

No one knows when this gathering will fail and the monsters will scatter again. In order to nip the danger in the bud as much as possible, everyone takes turns to "kill monsters". The fewer monsters there are, the safer the lives of ordinary people will be.

Although Yu Tu and his friends are sophomores, their level has already surpassed many graduates. What they lack is enough practical experience, so they were arranged to stay in Luping City, which is dotted with C-level monster spots. Every day, they close their eyes and recover their spiritual power to clear monsters.

After cleaning up the monsters for about a week, Yu Tu and the other three suddenly received a signal to retreat. But before they could evacuate from the city center, a horrific earthquake suddenly struck Luping City, which had almost become a ruin. The spiritual power, which was not stable to begin with, became wildly turbulent due to the earthquake.

Faintly, he saw strange marks rising into the sky from nine areas of Chongming City, connecting at one point and then returning. Amid the rumbling of the sky and the earth, he heard a faint ringing sound.

As a result, all those who had not evacuated Chongming City fell into a coma.