Chapter 50

"Ding-ling--ding-ling!!!"

It was a harsh and noisy ringtone.

"Tu Tu!" Yu Tu heard an anxious but pleasant female voice, "Tu Tu, wake up, don't scare your mother!"

"Tu Tu..."

His consciousness seemed to float in and out of the darkness, and the sound seemed to be getting closer and farther away. Yu Tu had to work hard to open his eyes. In his blurry vision, he first saw the ceiling of the hospital, then the medicine hanging by his bed, and then the woman standing by his side with a worried look on her face.

The woman was probably in her forties, but she was well maintained and had almost no wrinkles around her eyes. When Yu Tu looked at her face, he always felt that it was somewhat familiar, as if she was somewhat similar to him.

Seeing him wake up, the woman's eyes instantly turned red: "Why don't you eat properly in the hospital, you little brat? Do you know how worried your father and I are?"

Yu Tu didn't understand the situation clearly for the moment, so he remained silent.

The way he seemed to be immersed in his own world made the woman's heart ache again. She reached out and touched Yu Tu's cheek. There was a thin layer of silk on her soft palm: "Tu Tu... get better soon..."

"That world..." There was deep pain in her eyes. She wanted to say something, but she changed the subject abruptly, "Tu Tu, why do you suddenly not eat again? The doctor said that you had recovered well some time ago..."

"Ms. Yu, please move aside. We need to examine Yu Tu." She was interrupted by a gentle voice before she finished her words. Yu Tu looked in the direction of the voice and saw a female nurse in a white coat, pushing a small cart in her hands. In front of her stood a male doctor, who also had a gentle and friendly face and was looking at him with a smile.

"Okay, okay." The woman who spoke first moved aside, but her eyes were always on Yu Tu, with heartache in her eyes.

Yu Tu saw them tying some unfamiliar small instruments on his arms, hands, and head... He was a little panicked, and his hands consciously grasped the quilt, and then he was patted gently and soothingly.

"Don't be afraid." The woman slowly pulled his clenched fist apart, "Mom is here."

After they checked, the small instruments were withdrawn one by one. The male doctor looked at the data on the instrument, frowned, and a hint of confusion flashed in his eyes: "Everything is normal."

The woman's face suddenly turned ugly, and her eyes slowly turned red: "Doctor Zhou... Tu Tu... has he fallen into that world again?"

"Tu Tu." Doctor Zhou first smiled apologetically at the woman, then bent down slightly and asked at a distance that Yu Tu would not feel offended, "Do you still remember me?"

Yu Tu woke up in this ward. He was very wary of the two people in front of him and the silent nurse beside him. He suspected that he had fallen into some kind of illusion because of the ringing sound.

His vigilant look obviously made the doctor surnamed Zhou feel a little awkward. He stepped back a little, trying not to irritate the patient in front of him: "It seems that you have forgotten me."

He sighed and said, "My last name is Zhou, and I'm your attending physician."

"I know you are very uneasy now. Your mother and I will not get close to you." He said, "I know you must suspect that we are bad people with bad intentions or hallucinations in a fantasy world."

Seeing Yu Tu's more vigilant eyes, Doctor Zhou couldn't help but sigh again: "Ms. Yu, please stay away from him now. He is very scared."

The woman called Ms. Yu quickly tilted her head and wiped away the mist that suddenly filled the corners of her eyes: "...Okay."

She stood up very slowly, and then retreated to the same distance as Dr. Zhou. Their movements were very gentle, as if they were afraid of accidentally irritating Yu Tu.

"Tu Tu, we know you have a lot of questions now, but this world is real, not fake." Dr. Zhou said, "If you don't believe us, you should at least believe in yourself."

He took an encrypted diary from the cart and placed it at the foot of his bed under Yu Tu's vigilant eyes, then took another insulated box from the cart: "I'll put your meal here. You can read it after you eat."

The woman wanted to say something, but under the constant hints of Dr. Zhou's eyes, she left with red eyes. The nurse was the last to leave, closing the door behind her. After Yu Tu confirmed that no one had entered the single ward, he took the encrypted diary in his hand.

Almost without thinking, he dialed the password to the correct position. With a "click", the password book opened. After turning to the first page, he saw his own handwriting.

[I had a very interesting dream. I dreamed that a world was separated by a barrier and divided into two worlds. After waking up, the memory of the dream was slowly disappearing, and I felt a little pity. ]

[I wrote down my dream in a notebook, and I will call them the inner world and the outer world for now. The outer world is ordinary people who live like us, and the inner world is like what is written in novels, with demons, ghosts, monsters, and humans.]

[This is a really interesting dream. Every night in my dream, I become another person. However, my identity in the dream is a bit miserable. I am an orphan who was abandoned in an orphanage. Life in an orphanage is too miserable... When I wake up, I have to reward myself with a big meal! ]

…

[I knew it wouldn't be boring! Acceptance letter from Miller Kerr University! It's a joint venture between Chinese and Western schools! Here I come to practice magic! ]

[Why can I only sleep eight hours a day? The world in my dreams is much more interesting than the world I live in now...hiss...it's just that my luck is really not that good QAQ]

[I shared this magical dream with my parents, and they praised me for my rich imagination and good memory. I even remembered the details of the dream very vividly! ]

[This story is getting more and more detailed, and it makes so much sense! ]

…

[I’m sleeping longer and longer…]

[A dream—Is it really possible to dream continuously for years without interruption? Is it really... just a dream? ]

…

[Is this world fake? Is the world in dreams real? ]

[Am I really the Yu Tu of this world? Or is it that... the Yu Tu in my dream is me? ]

[I can’t tell the difference between reality and dreams anymore. Maybe I’m under too much pressure. I need psychological counseling.]

…

[This world is fake, I must go to the other side of the dream, that is real. Although I am a little reluctant to leave my parents and life here, but it is all fake. ]

…

[I jumped off the building, but I didn't die. My mother was terrified and sent me to the hospital. The windows of the hospital were all closed with iron bars. I had to find a way to escape from there.]

…

[I went out twice, jumped into the river once, and cut my wrists once, but I couldn't leave this world. The feeling of being on the verge of death is so real, I'm a little scared.]

[My father and mother are always frowning. Seeing them like this makes me feel bad, but they are fake, and this world is fake too. Only dreams are real, and I have to go there.]

[I can't find any other way except death. ]

Yu Tu read slowly, his brows furrowed more and more as he read, because he was very sure that the handwriting was indeed his. He had some small habits when writing, and even if ordinary people tried hard to imitate him, it would be impossible for them to write every word exactly like him.

Yu Tu had only written the first half of the diary and was almost at the end.

[Today was my fifth suicide attempt and my second time cutting my wrists. Every time I was on the verge of death, the feeling was so real.]

…

[Maybe I am too resistant to reality, or maybe it is the sequelae of multiple suicide attempts. Every time I wake up after suicide, I lose part of my memory. Maybe one day, I will forget everything in reality, not recognize anyone, and just feel like I am trapped in an illusion.

Dr. Zhou said that I had psychogenic amnesia because I was too resistant to reality and stubbornly believed that the dreams I had been having for the past few years were the real world.

“They were trying to treat me, and I would sneak up and see my mom and dad crying in the hallway in the middle of the night. They were really sad, and I could feel it.”

[Reality and dreams... Which one is true and which one is false? ]

After a few blank pages, Yu Tu saw the last two lines of handwriting, which were a bit messy and sloppy.

[I can’t tell.]

【But I want to cooperate with the treatment and give it a try. 】

*

After reading the diary, Yu Tu rolled up the right sleeve of his hospital gown, revealing two deep, ugly scars on his fair arm—they were scars from cutting his wrists.

He closed the diary in silence, and a feeling of confusion suddenly surged in his heart, which had always been vigilant.

There are too many things written in the diary, including the E-level mission "Old Building", the D-level mission "Bloody Wedding Dress", Gu Hongying, Sanqing, An Jiajia, the baby spirit, and Special Team 7... Even in this diary, the progress in the dream has reached the point where Gu Hongying wanted to go to the scene to watch the Nuo ceremony, but felt it was unsafe, so in the end none of them went out, but just watched a few times from the balcony on the third floor of the B&B.

Every detail related to the "dream" written in the diary is something that only he knows, and it is difficult to fake. Unless it is a large-scale illusion array that uses a lot of manpower and material resources, it must also be accompanied by the extremely difficult "peeping" function. Ordinary illusions will not appear like this.

Yu Tu hadn't touched the insulated box, and the food inside was slowly getting cold. Several hours later, Yu Tu heard a knock on the door—it was Dr. Zhou, whom he had spoken to before.

"TuTu, can I come in?"

Yu Tu politely invited him into the room. Doctor Zhou had a box in his hand. He showed it to Yu Tu from a safe distance to confirm that it was harmless. Then he placed the box in front of him and stepped back.

Yu Tu opened the box. Inside the box lay a piece of cloth about the length and width of a finger. The moment it was opened, it slowly floated to a position about the height of a palm.

It looked very familiar. It was the acceptance letter from Miller College.

"I don't know the extent of your psychogenic amnesia after you woke up this time," Dr. Zhou said, "but I think you need this."

"It was imitated from our previous conversations. I don't know if it looks similar. I hope you'll feel less nervous and scared when you see something familiar." He said softly, "It's okay if you always think that's the real world."

"At least..." he said, "life is precious. Don't commit suicide again. Your parents and friends are all worried about you."