Chapter 75
Their vision suddenly spun around, and when this rapid change stopped, Yu Tu and Gu Hongying sat in the flower bud and looked at each other in surprise.
Gu Hongying tried to reach out and hit the petals, and the place where he hammered suddenly bulged inward.
Gu Hongying: “……?”
He continued to hammer the piece that was bulging inward, and it bulged even more violently, and the internal space, which was already small to begin with, became smaller by a small amount.
Gu Hongying was puzzled: "The more we resist, the smaller the space we have to move around? Who designed this? Is this so crazy?"
Yu Tu also reached out and punched the petals, but the situation he encountered was completely different from Gu Hongying's—after he hammered it, the hard inner wall not only became soft, but also did not bulge.
Gu Hongying: “……?”
Unconvinced, he hammered again, and this time the bulge hit his head directly.
Gu Hongying: “…”
His eyes widened and he complained loudly: "These two labels are too blatant!"
Yu Tu pondered: "Is it possible that this flower and I are from the same family?"
After living in the Plant Tribe for more than half a month, he has seen how much the tribe members love their cubs, except for the tribe leader (emphasis). If this flower is really related to the Plant Tribe, it probably also continues the habits of the Plant Tribe?
Although it did not release Yu Tu, the petals felt as hard as iron when Gu Hongying hammered them, while they felt soft and bouncy when Yu Tu hammered them.
Yu Tu thought for a moment and said tentatively, "I think the light inside is a little dim."
The next second, the light inside the flower bud suddenly became three points brighter.
Gu Hongying also joined the team to test the water: "I think it's a bit too bright, can it be dimmed a little?"
No response.
"I think it's a bit too dark, can you make it brighter?"
No response continued.
Yu Tu: "Can you make it brighter?"
The light inside the bud became much brighter again.
Gu Hongying: "This is discrimination!!!"
The petals at the back of his head suddenly swelled up and hit him lightly.
Gu Hongying: "Stingy flower!"
The petals that had just swelled up hit him two or three times.
Gu Hongying: "Stingy but also domineering——"
This time it was Yu Tu's turn to cover his mouth.
"I'm sorry, he didn't mean any harm. I apologize to you on his behalf." After Yu Tu covered Gu Hongying's mouth tightly, he asked sincerely, "Can you please let us out?"
The petals that were swaying slightly suddenly stopped, and the closed petals opened a gap, hesitated for a few seconds, and then slowly closed again.
The "Man-eating Plant" is a snake-suppressing device developed by a medical repairman and an equipment repairman. Strictly speaking, it is not a normal plant that grows in nature, but it has some habits of plants. Although it cannot violate the core instructions, other additional terms will not be implemented on the cubs except the core instructions.
"The space is not big, but we don't feel suffocated yet. The purpose is probably to trap us." Gu Hongying pulled down Yu Tu's hand. Although he was shocked by the double standard just now, his brain was still very useful. "Judging from the completely different attitudes towards you and me, this product made in imitation of the habits of the plant tribe should also have some of the characteristics of the plant tribe, such as caring for cubs."
"Hmm..." Gu Hongying pondered for a while and made a very naughty suggestion, "Tu Tu, how about you just roll around and cry in the flower petals now?"
She was even careful not to hurt him when hammering the petals so that they would become soft. She didn't believe that this flower, which had some characteristics of plants, would watch its cub cry until he was about to die and not let him go!
Yu Tu: "...Can you give me some suggestions on how to be a better person?"
Gu Hongying said confidently: "You are not a human being either!"
This proposal was ruthlessly passed due to Yu Tu's strong protest.
The two of them discussed in low voices for a while, and finally Gu Hongying made the final decision—let Yu Tu tell a sarcastic joke to the flower.
Since it can react to Yu Tu's words, it must be possible to communicate. As long as the flower gets the joke, there will be gaps when the flower shakes when it laughs, and they will act according to the situation!
Yu Tu: “…”
Although it seems a bit unreliable, it also feels reasonable.
Yu Tu cleared his throat and recited aloud a few of the jokes carefully selected by Gu Hongying: "A hunter shot a fox, and the hunter was shot dead. The fox proudly said: 'I am a reflex fox!'"
The first one didn't react, so Yu Tu continued with the second one: "The mushroom was walking on the road and was hit by an orange. The mushroom was furious and said, 'You blind man, go to hell!' Then the orange died. Because the mushroom wanted the orange to die, the orange had to die."
The light inside the flower flickered.
"There's a reaction!" Gu Hongying encouraged Yu Tu, "Quick! Keep going!"
Yu Tu began to recite the third and fourth: "There was a male deer, it walked faster and faster, faster and faster, and finally became a high-speed male deer."
"The cannibals captured a migrant worker and then released him because the migrant worker's life was too hard."
This time there was no response.
Gu Hongying frowned: "This can't make it really smile. Looks like I have to use my hidden trump card!"
Yu Tu: “…Are you sure?”
Gu Hongying: "Sure! My killer move will definitely succeed!"
Yu Tu didn't think the killer trick was funny at all, but he still recited it seriously: "A polar bear was so bored, so it started pulling out its own hair for fun. It pulled and pulled, and after pulling out the last hair, the polar bear said: 'It's so cold~'"
After Gu Hongying used his trump card, the flower that trapped them suddenly vibrated, the flower stem moved downward, and the petals slowly opened along the ground - it actually worked!
Yu Tu: “!!!”
He was extremely shocked: "It actually works?!"
Gu Hongying's eyes drifted away guiltily for a moment: "No matter what, we have successfully escaped, so let's hurry to the auditorium!"
Although Yu Tu didn't understand why such an unreliable plan as telling a cold joke was so successful, it was a good thing anyway, so he nodded: "Okay!"
So the two of them ran straight there based on the direction of the auditorium in their memory.
In the control room on the other side, there was silence in front of the screen.
Some people were mad: "The 'piranha plant' has been tested many times, how come they can escape so easily! This is unscientific!!!"
He hadn't even finished cracking the handful of melon seeds in his hand when the "Piranha Plant" put them down on its own initiative!
Put it down!
"Old Qi, the people have run far away and we can't catch them now." Someone patted him on the shoulder, "You should hurry up and review the loopholes of the 'Piranha Plant' and plug them as soon as possible."
Because the space inside the flower is limited and there are many things loaded, signal transmission is difficult and there will be a monitoring delay of about ten minutes. But no one expected that these two newborns would come out in less than ten minutes!
After the real-time monitoring images were transmitted, everyone in front of the screen felt incredible, especially the main developer of the "Piranha Plant" -
"How could the 'Piranha Plant' release people just because of a few jokes? This is unscientific!"
There is more than one "piranha plant" on campus. After discovering that the flower is very intelligent, the other trapped freshmen also try to find opportunities to escape through communication skills, telling jokes, etc., but without exception they fail.
The lead developer collapsed: "The point is that these jokes aren't funny!"
When everyone was puzzled, a second-year student from a non-human race saw some clues: "I think I understand why..."
Seeing that everyone was looking at him, he touched his chin and said, "In order to maximize the effect of Qi Yan's 'Man-Eating Plant', it should have taken into account a large part of the characteristics of the Plant Tribe, right? The members of the Plant Tribe are rare, and the number of cubs can be counted on one hand. Caring for the cubs has almost become an instinct."
"If your tribe only had a few cubs, and every cub was a treasure, and a cub was seriously conspiring with others in front of you, and trying to make you happy with sarcastic jokes -" he asked back, "it would be hard not to be soft-hearted, right?"
"You're right." Qi Yan had already retrieved the data of the Piranha Plant and said through gritted teeth, "The sneer didn't cause it to waver at all. It was overwhelmed by the cuteness of the plant tribe cubs and took the initiative to let them go!"
…
After wandering around the campus for a quarter of an hour, Yu Tu and Gu Hongying successfully found the auditorium. The door of the auditorium was wide open, but it was pitch black inside and they couldn't see anything clearly.
Gu Hongying didn't rush in. He looked around and then his eyes lit up—there were some rubble at the base of the wall of the auditorium.
Gu Hongying ran over and picked up a piece, then returned to the door of the auditorium. He weighed the gravel in his hand and threw it into the open door. The sound of stones falling to the ground could be heard in the darkness.
"They didn't set a trap?" Gu Hongying rubbed his hair. "Did I think too badly of them?"
But the next second, Gu Hongying knew it was not the case, because a terrifying suction force suddenly came from the open door of the auditorium!
Gu Hongying's feet left the ground in an instant, and he waved his hands wildly and grabbed Shangyu Tu's arm. The two of them were immediately sucked into the dark door.
Along with Gu Hongying's horrified scream of “Ahhhhhhh————”, the door quickly closed and then opened, and his scream disappeared.
At the base of the auditorium's wall, the small stone taken away by Gu Hongying reappeared in its original position, waiting for the next smart person to arrive.
*
"Hello? Qi Yan? Can you hear me over there?" Voices suddenly came from a hidden room in the auditorium. The dark screens lit up one by one, and the whole room became as bright as day in an instant.
"Yes!" On the floating yellow talisman, the strokes drawn with bright red cinnabar were shining, "Have the two new students arrived?"
除了遍布整個校園的總控室，最容易布置出效果的就是大禮堂的分控室。因為展示性彙報通常都在這裏，所以大禮堂的建築本身材料用得極好，還具有很高的容納性，翻譯成通俗易懂的話，就是這裏很适合拿來做最後的“驚喜”。
“到了。”浮空符紙的一端有人回答他，“果然是扔石頭進來的。”
作為為新生整蠱，不是，開學典禮前的最後一環，大禮堂的布置常常是重頭戲，無論是運氣夠好直接避開了一路危險來到大禮堂的幸運兒，還是過關斬将艱難抵達大禮堂的倒黴蛋兒，都一視同仁地被卷入到重頭戲裏———不在這場活動裏參與一下，那該多遺憾吶！
“你們都布置好了嗎？可別出什麽岔子了。”符紙上豔紅的朱砂閃光閃得極其急促，“如果有和草木族相關的通關關鍵點，記得提前撤出來，那兩個新生裏，有一個來自草木族！”
米勒克爾大學的每屆新生基本都以人族為主，輔以少量的妖族，還從來沒有招收過草木族的成員，以至于極其難纏的新武器“食人花”折戟沉沙。
他們雖然是高一屆的學長學姐，手裏卻并沒有這一屆新生的詳細資料。
因為他們在學校裏修習了一年，又提前做好了布置，如果還讓他們針對每個人的弱點做陷阱，那就太絕對、太沒意思了，反而是這樣的未知更加有趣。
盡管每年大部分新生都留下了“完美”的回憶，但仍有幾個出類拔萃的新生讓人眼前一亮，拍案叫絕。
“草木族？行，知道了。”符紙另一端的人都這樣強調了，大禮堂分控室裏的人也不會不聽，“還有其他需要注意的點嗎？”
“沒了。”符紙上鮮紅的朱砂痕跡開始黯淡，“你們記得實時上傳素材，剪輯那邊的人在催了。”
朱砂徹底黯淡，符紙化為飛煙。
通話結束。
*
“我手呢？我腳呢？” 一張潔白的大餐桌上，一個金邊瓷壺忽然蹦噠起來，壺蓋和壺身碰撞，發出清脆的響聲，它用顧鴻影的聲音嚷嚷着，“我怎麽360度都能看得見？！”
他在桌上蹦來蹦去，桌上鋪着的潔白桌布都被他弄得皺巴巴的，金邊茶壺蹦到桌邊，壺嘴朝下瞄了一眼：“卧槽！好高！”
它又慫慫地蹦噠了回來，他身後的青瓷茶杯如果不是閃得快，估計就要被他撞倒了。
金邊茶壺在桌上轉了個圈，看到了離他好一截遠的青瓷茶杯，遲疑道：“……荼荼？”
青瓷茶杯無奈地“嗯”了一聲。
虞荼真是沒想到，繼自己變成茶樹苗後，居然還有一天能變成青瓷茶杯，他才學會用根走路沒幾天，居然就要适應用茶杯底座走路了。
虞·青瓷茶杯·荼忍不住看他對面的金邊茶壺，也就是顧鴻影———他那蹦噠的流暢勁兒，不像是沒當過茶壺的。
虞荼現才剛剛能控制自己走路和說話，顧鴻影已經能連蹦帶跑順帶大喊大叫了。
這就是獨屬于漫畫主角的天賦嗎！
震驚.JPG
“我就知道惡作劇的人沒安好心！”金邊茶壺顧鴻影叭叭叭吐槽，“這咋的，還要拿我們吃飯喝茶啊？”
這個房間裏只有一張巨大的餐桌擺放在正中間，餐桌上有各種各樣的餐具，牆面光滑潔白，沒有裝飾，只有一面牆上有扇門，門把手是圓形的，打磨得光滑到反光。
任務是什麽在這種情況下一目了然。
“指望我們用這麽易碎的身體蹦下餐桌開門出去？”金邊茶壺的壺蓋打得啪啪響，顧茶壺簡直難以置信，“門把手是圓的啊，他們瘋了嗎？！”
“呵，只會怨天尤人，嘴裏抱怨的弱雞。”顧茶壺的不遠處，一把金色的刻着浮雕花紋的餐叉發出一聲冷笑，“既然設置了這樣的困難，那必然有相應的解法。”
顧茶壺：“……？”
“你誰啊？”
“你居然不知道我是誰？！”金色浮雕花紋餐叉發出一聲震驚的反問，他覺得自己受到了侮辱，氣得整個餐叉都立起來了，“你竟然認不出我？！”
顧茶壺：“不是，我真的不認識你啊！”
金色浮雕花紋餐叉的聲音都氣高了：“昨天開學報名你把我撞進醫療室今天你居然翻臉不認人？！”
他說話的聲音高昂一氣呵成，讓人明白這把餐叉的肺活量真的很好。
顧茶壺恍然大悟：“哦哦對不起，我想起來了，你是艾克裏·安東尼是吧？”
金色浮雕花紋餐叉：“……”
他暴跳如雷：“我叫埃裏克·安東尼！”
顧茶壺誠懇道歉：“對不起，你的名字有點長，不小心記錯了。”
顧鴻影已經道過歉，埃裏克也不可能繼續咄咄逼人，他又冷哼了一聲，用餐叉柄蹦到桌子邊，然後……自由落體。
一聲清脆的金屬碰撞音傳來，還有一聲小小的、忍痛的抽氣聲。
顧茶壺：“……”
虞茶杯：“……”
他們蹦到餐桌的邊緣，那地上躺着一把金色的餐叉，或許是剛剛那一下摔得有點痛，餐叉現在立不起來了，于是顧鴻影和虞荼有幸見到了……
一把餐叉在大理石地面上，健康地爬行。
看餐叉艱難又堅定地爬向門邊，虞荼小聲問：“你們倆是有仇嗎？”
虞荼問出這個問題的時候，餐桌上其他餐具紛紛有了點反應，比如盤子悄悄往前面挪了幾毫米，燭臺上有根蠟燭微微彎腰，銀白色的餐刀蹬了一下潔白的桌布……
顧鴻影同樣小聲回複：“呃……也不算有仇吧，就是有點誤會，情況挺複雜的，從這兒出去了我再給你講。”
盤子失望地停在原地，蠟燭的腰彎得更低，銀白色的餐刀氣鼓鼓地翻了個身……人哪怕變成了餐具，也依舊改不了湊熱鬧的習慣。
顧茶壺忽然轉了個身，他一蹦老高，落到了銀色餐刀的旁邊，壺嘴彎下來，敲了敲餐刀的刀身：“我知道你也是人！別給我裝死，你蹬桌布的時候我感覺到了！”
銀白色餐刀：“……”
好奇心果然害死刀！
他大聲哀嚎：“我什麽都沒聽見，我沒有耳朵———”
顧茶壺：“別裝了，你要不現在跳下去，去試試開門？”
銀白色餐刀發出激烈的聲音：“我不要！”
那把餐叉掉下去時的響動聽着就好痛！
顧鴻影将目光移向燭臺上的一根蠟燭，那根白色的蠟燭在他的注視下慢慢融化成一灘燭淚，擺明了就一個詞———裝死。
顧茶壺：“……”
在大理石地面上健康爬行的餐叉已經爬到了門邊，他立起來，彎了彎自己的餐叉柄，然後“咻”一下彈到了門把手上。門把手本身就光滑到反光，餐叉又是金屬，上去了不到一秒餐叉就光榮地再次摔在地上。
餐叉躺在地上不動了。
金邊茶壺蹦到離門最近的那一端的桌子邊緣：“艾克裏你還好嗎？”
金色餐叉憤怒且中氣十足的聲音遙遙傳來：“是埃裏克！！！”
他躺在地上翻了個身，拒絕繼續和顧鴻影這個傻缺茶壺交流。
金邊茶壺又蹦回來，壺蓋啪嗒啪嗒發出清脆的響聲，他蹦到虞荼旁邊：“荼荼，我們怎麽開門啊？”
虞荼：“我只是一只茶杯，我也不知道。”
顧鴻影沉思：“變成人形肯定是變不了了，不然艾克裏早就變回來了，不會用餐叉的形态去開———”
金色餐叉憤怒且中氣十足的聲音再次遙遙傳來：“是埃裏克！！！”
餐桌上其他餐具：“……”
你耳朵真好使。
“限制人形總不至于限制原型吧？”顧鴻影越琢磨越覺得有道理，金邊茶壺蹦起來，在各種餐具之間穿行，“有沒有不是人的餐具啊？麻煩吱一聲！”
融化成一灘的蠟燭發出一聲輕微的“吱”。
金邊茶壺乒乒乓乓地蹦過來：“剛剛只是我的猜測，我也不确定是不是真的。你願意試試變成原型嗎？不願意也沒關系，不用勉強。”
一灘燭淚沒說話，但他開始聚成一團，在其他餐具期待的注視下，燭淚漸漸有了輪廓，微光一閃，變成了……一只憨态可掬的珍珠鳥。
“完了，我比他原型還重！”
“還有誰不是人嗎？急急急急！”
“你們是怎麽操縱餐具身體的？我現在還不能挪動！”
……
在驚喜過後又面臨絕望的打擊下，其他餐具也紛紛出聲，誰都不能指望一只體長只有幾厘米，體重不過十多克的小鳥能打開門，然後将一桌子餐具都運出去。
顧鴻影又溜達了一圈後，回來盯上了虞荼。
虞荼是草木族成員的事情，新生裏目前除了顧鴻影還沒人知道，但顧鴻影沒有直接點出他的身份，他将選擇權交給了虞荼本人——知道歸知道，但他不能道德綁架他的朋友。
青瓷茶杯沉痛地問：“真的只有這一個妖族了嗎？”
"There is another one that is a large beast, but now it can only speak single words." Gu Hongying added, "If he hadn't tripped me, I wouldn't have realized he was a human. No, he was a monster."
When tableware becomes this difficult, don't expect to be able to return to its original state.
Yu Tu: "Is there really no other way?"
Gu Hongying tapped the lid of his pot.
The celadon teacup leaned back and pretended to be dead for a few seconds before struggling to get up. With a flicker of light, a tall and green tea sapling appeared in its place.
The other tableware on the table became excited, and those that could move jumped forward, and the crackling sounds were endless.
“Ahhhhh, I finally see hope of leaving!”
"Please, Boss, take me away quickly. I don't want to be a coaster anymore!!"
"And me, and me! Can you take me with you?"
…
The chaos ended in the end when the pearl bird pushed the tableware that could not move on its own to the edge, and Yu Tu caught them with leaves and put them on the ground. The ones that could move lined up on the table and Yu Tu took them down one by one.
Those who were able to move came down and jumped towards the door by themselves, while those who couldn't jump were packed up by Pearl Bird and Yu Tu using tablecloths into bundles.
After packing, Yu Tu looked at the package which was N times bigger than himself and felt the impermanence of life.
Yu Tu dragged the package forward with a branch, and sounds came out of the package from time to time. Although many tableware could not move, except for a few special ones, the other tableware could speak and communicate.
"Don't point the tip of your knife at me, or you'll scrape off my paint!"
"Hahahaha, move the brim of your tall glass, you're tickling my itchy flesh, hahahaha!"
"My hair! My pot lid! Don't kick my head lid!!!"
…
In the midst of this noisy conversation, Yu Tu finally arrived at the door, dragging a large package. The door handle was very smooth, and the pearl bird had tried it with its wings and claws, but couldn't open it at all.
The young tea tree seedlings were not tall enough, and several teapots that were not afraid of falling spontaneously started playing the game of stacking the pots. Yu Tu Miao climbed to the top with difficulty, stretched out her leaves to reach the smooth door handle, and after slipping several times, she finally opened the door a crack. Yu Tu Miao took one more step and pushed the door open with her branches!
At the moment the door was pushed open, fireworks suddenly exploded outside the door, and thin colorful ribbons and shredded paper flowers immediately hung all over the small tea tree sapling.
Yu Tu heard a laughing voice: "Congratulations to everyone for passing the final surprise and successfully completing [Tableware Escape]! Let's applaud!"
There was a burst of enthusiastic applause outside the door, mixed with one or two bursts of laughter from time to time.
The little tea tree sapling with colorful ribbons and paper flowers on its head: "..."
The irritable mood reached its peak.JPG
But that’s not all. After all the tableware in the room turned back into human form and calmed down, the seniors with big smiles on their faces led them out of the room filled with unforgettable memories and came to the front stage of the auditorium.
The auditorium of Miller College is extremely luxurious. Behind the huge stage in the front, there is a giant light curtain that takes up an entire wall. Seats that look more comfortable than massage chairs are distributed around it, forming a semi-arc.
After the freshmen, who had been severely tortured, sat down, a compartment suddenly popped up next to their seats, and a small table stretched out from the compartment. Inside the table was "junk food" specially prepared for them - high in calories and without nutrition, but eating it could make people happy.
After this group of "tableware" sat down, some people came in from outside the door one after another, probably also freshmen.
When everyone was present, the door of the auditorium slammed shut. The huge screen that occupied an entire wall began to light up. On the screen, faces that could be found in the seats appeared—
Some were frightened by fierce ghosts and cried for their parents and rolled over; some were chased by koi that crawled ashore from the lake and screamed and grumbled; some were punched and kicked in the man-eating plants and were squeezed to the point of fainting on the spot; some were grabbed by the ankles by skeletons and dragged into coffins, howling until the skeletons lost their hearing on the spot...
All in all, the vlogs in the light screen are treated equally, and everyone is given at least five to ten seconds of wonderful moments. If the ones are particularly wonderful, the time can be extended.
The freshmen who were eating with a smile on their faces: "..."
The smiles gradually disappeared from every face and moved to the faces of the seniors behind the scenes.
After the vlog filled with all the dark history of the first-year students was played, what appeared on the screen were emoticons.
For example, when a pelican grabs the head, it means [a revelation], when a koi carp bites the hand, it means [surrender], when a spider web ties you up and you hang in the middle of the web, it means [I’ll give you the stage]... At the end of all these various real-life emoticons, there is a line of even more murderous and heartbreaking words—
[Gengxu Year series of emoticons, welcome to enter the academy official website to download~]