Chapter 112 Breaking the Knot
The next morning, Ye Xunyang got up with slightly dark circles under his eyes, forcing himself to act as usual.
He tried his best to hide his restlessness at night, and his words and actions were no different from usual, except that his eyes would occasionally wander for a moment, and his smile was less lively.
Lou Jin saw his forced smile and felt a pang of anxiety, but he remained outwardly calm.
After breakfast, he personally adjusted the silver fish pouch at Ye Xunyang's waist and said gently, "If you're not busy, come back early. You don't look too well, don't force yourself."
Ye Xunyang felt a warmth in his heart and nodded in agreement: "Your Highness, rest assured, I know."
After seeing Lou Jin off, Ye Xunyang also took a carriage to the Ministry of War.
After being promoted to a third-rank military officer, he was required to participate in military affairs meetings regularly.
There were indeed few people today. Several colleagues greeted him with clasped hands upon his arrival.
Ye Xunyang returned the greetings one by one, sat down in his seat, and began to read the military reports sent from various places.
Yet those familiar words flickered before his eyes, but he couldn't quite grasp them. The sounds of his colleagues discussing border defenses also became indistinct in his ears.
He forced himself to concentrate, reviewed several documents concerning the relocation of his subordinates, and offered several suggestions regarding the defense of the capital region.
On the surface, everything seemed normal, but only he knew that the gloom that lingered in his heart could not be dispelled.
Lou Yan's words echoed repeatedly in his mind.
Official business was completed before the Shenshi hour (3-5 PM).
Ye Xunyang politely declined his junior officers' invitation to spar at the training ground, saying he was feeling slightly unwell and left first.
Upon returning to the Prince's residence, he assumed Lou Jin had not yet returned and was about to go to his study to have some peace and quiet when Liu An came up to him and reported, "Your Highness, the Prince is already in the residence and is waiting for you in the East Warm Pavilion."
Ye Xunyang was slightly taken aback, then quickly walked towards the East Warm Pavilion.
Pushing open the door, one sees Lou Jin having changed out of his court robes and is now wearing a dark-colored casual outfit, standing by the window.
Hearing footsteps, he turned around and his gaze swept across the man's face, taking in the weariness that the man could not completely hide in his eyes.
“It seems there’s nothing important today,” Lou Jin stepped forward, naturally took his hand, and said gently, “Perfect, come with me somewhere.”
"Where to?" Ye Xunyang asked, somewhat puzzled.
"You'll know when we get there." Lou Jin gripped his hand tightly and led him outside without giving him a chance to refuse.
Instead of taking a carriage, Lou Jin only brought two personal guards and walked side by side with Ye Xunyang out of the palace. They passed through several bustling streets and turned into a relatively quiet alley.
Finally, they stopped in front of what appeared to be an ordinary teahouse.
This teahouse has a small storefront and simple, antique decorations; it is not a place where powerful and wealthy people in the capital often gather.
"Where is this?" Ye Xunyang was even more puzzled.
Lou Jin turned his head to look at him, his eyes filled with an indescribable complex emotion, and said in a low voice, "This is a place I often came to after I was poisoned and before I married you."
Ye Xunyang's heart skipped a beat, and he vaguely realized something.
Lou Jin led him up to the second floor, familiar with the way, and into a private room facing the street.
The private room was simply furnished, with a tall sycamore tree in the backyard directly opposite the window, its branches and leaves lush and green.
The waiter clearly recognized Lou Jin, and respectfully served him the tea and a few light snacks he usually ordered before quietly leaving and carefully closing the door behind him.
Lou Jin didn't rush to pour tea. He pulled Ye Xunyang to sit by the window, looked at him calmly, and got straight to the point: "Xunyang, you have something on your mind, it started yesterday at the Emperor's residence, didn't it?"
Ye Xunyang's body stiffened slightly, and he subconsciously wanted to deny it: "I..."
"Look at me." Lou Jin interrupted him, his voice not loud, but carrying an undeniable force, "Between you and me, is there any need to hide anything?"
When Ye Xunyang met his eyes, which seemed to see through everything, all the excuses he had prepared stuck in his throat.
He lowered his eyelashes, remained silent for a moment, and when he looked up again, his eyes were filled with struggle and bitterness.
"I..." He opened his mouth, his voice a little dry, "I just... I'm just suddenly a little scared."
"What are you afraid of?" Lou Jin patiently guided him, holding his hand tightly without letting go, conveying warmth and strength.
Ye Xunyang took a deep breath, as if he had used all his strength, to finally express the gloom that had been lingering in his heart all night.
"I'm afraid... I'm afraid that your choice of me wasn't entirely of your own volition. If it weren't for my yang energy helping you recover, you wouldn't have even glanced at me. I'm afraid that one day, when our feelings for each other fade, you'll regret this choice."
His voice grew softer and softer until it was almost inaudible, yet every word struck Lou Jinxin like a hammer blow.
Lou Jin listened quietly, without immediately refuting him, but looked at him with deep eyes.
After he finished speaking, Lou Jin slowly opened his mouth, his voice low and steady: "So, you suspect that my feelings for you started from needing you, rather than from loving you?"
Ye Xunyang neither nodded nor shook his head, but simply acquiesced.
Lou Jin sighed softly, but there was no blame in his sigh, only endless heartache.
He raised his other hand and touched Ye Xunyang's cheek, his fingertips warm.
"Xunyang, do you know that I noticed you even before I knew you might be the antidote?"
Ye Xunyang looked up in surprise.
Lou Jin's gaze fell on the sycamore tree outside the window, as if he were lost in memories: "At that time, I was frequently afflicted by the poison, and I was exhausted both physically and mentally. I had no interest in anything around me. Once, I was sitting alone in this teahouse when I happened to see you passing by downstairs."
A faint smile curved his lips: "Back then, you were just a junior officer in a camp on the outskirts of Beijing, wearing a worn-out military uniform, leading a horse, and talking to an old farmer being bullied by a local ruffian on the street."
"But you didn't reveal your identity or bully them. You just showed off your skills and made those thugs leave in a sorry state. You even bought all the old farmer's unsold vegetables so he could go home early."
Ye Xunyang was stunned; he had no recollection of such a trivial matter.
“I was thinking at the time,” Lou Jin withdrew his gaze and refocused on Ye Xunyang’s face, his eyes gentle and attentive, “that there is such a clear-headed and resilient young man in this capital city.”
"Later, the Imperial Advisor proposed that my father bestow a marriage upon me. At first, I was angry and resistant. I did not believe what the Imperial Advisor said, and I was even less willing to drag others into this quagmire."
He paused, his fingertips tracing Ye Xunyang's knuckles.
"However, when I found out that it was you, my resistance was mixed with a sense of relief that I was unaware of, because I knew you were a kind and upright person."
Ye Xunyang's heart began to beat faster involuntarily.
Lou Jin's voice was slightly hoarse, "I admit that I did think about using your family's power at first, and even after I found out that you were useful to my condition, I thought about what to do with you after I was cured of the poison. But you are so considerate to me, a cripple, and take care of me with all your heart."
"Since my mother passed away, no one has ever been so kind to me. You are the first. I cherish this warmth from you, so I have fallen hopelessly in love with you."
He cupped Ye Xunyang's face in his hands, forcing him to look into his eyes, his eyes filled with sincerity and deep affection: "Xunyang, listen carefully and remember this well."
"The initial connection was due to a series of unfortunate events. But falling in love with you is the most willing choice I, Lou Jin, have ever made in my life."
"You are not my cure, you are my life."
"Without you, even if I were cured of the poison and survived, I would be nothing more than a walking corpse, a puppet vying for the throne. With you, even if there are mountains of knives and seas of fire ahead, and I die from the poison, I would feel that I have no regrets in this life."
"So, don't doubt, don't be afraid." His thumb gently brushed against Ye Xunyang's slightly reddened eyes.
"Whether in the past, present, or future, my heart, Lou Jinxin's, has always belonged only to you, Ye Xunyang. Nothing else matters. If one day I truly betray you, then call me..."
Ye Xunyang suddenly reached out and covered his mouth, preventing him from uttering those ominous vows.
He looked at Lou Jin, his eyes completely red, and the tears that had been building up all night finally rolled down his cheeks.
"But I had my own selfish reasons back then. I wanted you to recover so I could leave. My kindness to you was just a pretext for something else."
His voice carried an undeniable firmness: "Your selfish desire is to escape, while mine is to keep you here. I watched you go from initially distancing yourself and planning to later showing uncontrollable concern, and finally to giving yourself completely... This process is the real reason I fell for you."
"If we really talk about the beginning, we might not be considered pure. But it was from that impure beginning that the purest feelings later grew."
Lou Jin cupped his face in his hands, gazing into his teary eyes. "Xunyang, relationships are never about how they begin, but about how we choose to stay together. I chose to love you, and you ultimately chose me. Isn't that enough?"
His voice choked with emotion, filled with relief and immense gratitude, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have overthought things..."
Lou Jin pulled down his hand, held it tightly, lowered his head and kissed away the tear stains at the corner of his eye, his voice so gentle it could melt water.
"I am the one who should apologize. I didn't do enough, which made you feel uneasy. In the future, I will definitely protect you more carefully, and protect your heart as well."
The elegant room was filled with the aroma of tea, while the leaves of the plane trees outside the window rustled softly.
Ye Xunyang leaned on Lou Jin's shoulder. Their beginning may have been a little unusual, but their present and future were only about each other's purest feelings.
That's enough.
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