Chapter 15
Why can't we talk to him?
Because in the following days, there were several heavy rainstorms.
The local meteorological observatory issued a red alert for heavy rain. The August downpours came with great force, relentlessly eroding the summer heat.
So for the next few days, Josh stayed at home and didn't go out. Occasionally, he would practice self-defense with Chen Zhiyu, or find an interesting movie and stay in the living room together.
The prolonged downpour swallowed up the city's original colors. Thunder rumbled outside, and dense raindrops frantically pounded against the living room window, making a crisp sound that made the interior even more tranquil and peaceful.
In such an environment, Josh always felt a unique sense of comfort. She loved the rain, provided that she didn't have to go out that day.
The roads surrounding the residential area have not been properly maintained and have long been damaged due to neglect. Even the street opposite the residential area is in the same condition. The ground is uneven, and coupled with problems such as poorly dredged sewers, the roads become severely flooded, especially during the rainy season and heavy rains.
When Josh was in elementary school, he sometimes had to wade through knee-deep water to get to school when it rained.
Over the years, this section of the old town has still not improved. But now, Josh is no longer one of those chasing time, so he seems particularly relaxed.
On the sixth day of the holiday, the heavy rain began to subside slightly.
The living room window was half-open, and fine rain drifted in with the wind. The cool summer breeze dispelled the sweltering heat that had accumulated indoors for so long, and even encroached on more of the space.
The stuffiness was dispelled, and the living room was cool enough.
Josh changed into a light blue linen loungewear set, with ankle-length pants and a loose-fitting button-down short-sleeved top.
She was lounging lazily on the sofa, a face mask on, chatting on her phone.
Because of the rain, the house was gloomy early in the morning. A light was on in the living room, casting a bright glow.
Chen Zhiyu sat on the carpet under the sofa, leaning over the coffee table, writing his summer homework. His pen moved steadily and lightly, the sound of the pen tip scratching the paper being swallowed up by the sound of rain.
Inside the room, occasional voices could be heard.
Josh is chatting with Tang Ning.
Tang Ning is too lazy to type, so he usually sends long voice messages. Only Josh will patiently open them, listen to them, smile, and then reply.
Chen Zhiyu had been observing this process for years, and it hadn't changed.
Because she had a face mask on, and Josh was too lazy to get up to get her headphones, she turned the speaker volume down to the lowest setting, probably to avoid disturbing him. But since they were close, Chen Zhiyu still heard some of their conversations.
The two really chatted about everything under the sun, from work to beauty and gossip.
But it will also involve other areas.
'The guy I introduced to you last time... he's polite and handsome...' Tang Ning's voice came through Josh's phone again, but she quickly cut off the ambiguous words.
Chen Zhiyu didn't even have time to fully grasp the meaning of that sentence. It was enough to leave him momentarily stunned as he sat at the coffee table.
His heart seemed to skip a beat, and in that instant, it felt as if his soul had been ripped from his body.
These words kept swirling in his mind, and Chen Zhiyu fell into a brief daze. Undeniably, those unfinished words were like a heavy blow, truly dealing him a severe damage.
This also reminded Chen Zhiyu of a reality he had to face.
This was a question he had never considered before.
Just as his thoughts came to a standstill, Chen Zhiyu stopped writing, and the black carbon ink spread across the white paper, seeping through the entire sheet.
Outside the window, cold raindrops clung to the glass, leaving long streaks.
The rain started to get louder again, the sound of the rain was deafening. He stood there, stunned, the noisy rain in his ears sometimes loud, sometimes soft, sometimes noisy, sometimes silent.
However, it couldn't mask the chaotic heartbeat.
He began to care and become curious about how Josh replied to Tang Ning.
What is her actual attitude towards this? Is Josh really in a relationship?
Chen Zhiyu dared not think any further, feeling a sharp pain in his heart and his mood began to sink.
After that, he had no time to think about anything else. He began to comfort himself frequently and endlessly look for a way out for himself. If Josh really did date someone but didn't introduce her to him, did that mean that person was unimportant and not worth it?
Starting with this sentence, Chen Zhiyu fell into a vicious cycle, sinking into it endlessly and unable to extricate himself.
Suddenly, Josh spoke up from behind, "When do your tutoring sessions start?"
When Chen Zhiyu realized that Qiao Xi had said those words to him, he came to his senses, cleared his dry throat, and slowly and honestly replied, "The day after tomorrow."
Due to the intense academic workload in high school, Josh strictly forbade Chen Zhiyu from taking summer jobs.
But Chen Zhiyu didn't want to do nothing all summer, so the two eventually reached a standoff and, after a long negotiation, found a compromise.
Josh asked an acquaintance for help and asked them to find him a tutoring job.
Chen Zhiyu had excellent grades, so he easily got the tutoring job. The job was relatively flexible and he could still have time to review his lessons.
Josh did the math. "That's next Monday. What a coincidence, we're starting work on the same day?"
Chen Zhiyu calmly explained, "That family said they wanted to take the child on a trip abroad first, and then come back to catch up on lessons."
“Traveling,” Josh murmured, then stopped asking questions.
What she didn't know was that the students' parents originally planned to have their children attend classes first, and then take them on a trip.
Chen Zhiyu calculated when Qiao Xi would return and asked her how many days off she had taken before suggesting to the students that classes be postponed by a week.
The student was naturally happy to agree; nobody wants to jump into the pit of private tutoring right after starting their vacation. After friendly negotiations, the student ultimately spoke with the parent to reach a final decision.
The tutoring sessions are tentatively postponed for one week and will resume next Monday.
However, this was Chen Zhiyu's own scheming, and he couldn't tell Qiao Xi the truth.
The living room quickly returned to silence, but for a long time afterward, Chen Zhiyu found it difficult to concentrate. He couldn't focus his thoughts and couldn't get past that voice message.
After an unknown amount of time, Chen Zhiyu noticed that the person behind him had moved. Then, a slender hand reached out from behind him.
Josh removed the face mask, casually placed his phone on the coffee table, and went to the bathroom to wash up.
Chen Zhiyu turned his head to the side. Qiao Xi's phone was very close to his right arm. If he moved slightly to the right, his elbow could touch it.
Her phone was an inexpensive domestic brand phone, quite old, encased in a plain black phone case.
The phone screen is lit up, displaying the screensaver image.
Her screensaver featured a niche couple she had been a huge fan of for a long time. They were so obscure that even though Chen Zhiyu had watched the famous anime, he never imagined they were actually a couple.
Josh's phone is set to never turn off, so the screen is always on.
The reason she set her phone to never turn off the screen was because the phone's buttons were worn out and the lock screen button was malfunctioning.
Josh was busy with work and studies and didn't have time to repair it, let alone buy a new phone. Although the phone had fingerprint unlock, he deliberately set it to never turn off the screen to avoid trouble.
As for the screen lock issue, she installed a one-click screen lock app on her phone, which easily solved the problem.
Until the early winter of the year before last, the weather suddenly turned cold. Josh was busy outside when his phone was frozen and shut down. In the end, he had no choice but to find a repair shop nearby and spend a few dozen yuan to repair it.
However, she never changed the screen saver's off time back.
In this somewhat dim space, the screen emitted a blinding, burning light, like a candlelight that lured moths to fly one after another.
Chen Zhiyu's gaze seemed frozen. He watched as his phone's battery level jumped from 58% to 57%, his eyes fixed on the screen. For a moment, he forgot what he was doing, and his heart suddenly started racing, almost unbelievably fast.
He had to admit that the half-sentence had had an unimaginable impact on him.
Because of the rain, it was too dark, and the bathroom was not well lit either. At this moment, the warm yellow light in the bathroom was on, casting a light onto a floor tile in front of the door.
The soft light reflected off the phone screen, creating a dazzling interplay of light and shadow.
In fact, he could easily reach Josh's phone with a simple tap on WeChat to find her chat with Tang Ning and learn about Josh's attitude towards finding a boyfriend.
Chen Zhiyu felt a taut string pulling at his heart, a demon inside him screaming, "It's just looking at my phone, it's nothing."
However, he cared about the answer, but behind the answer was like Pandora's box, and Chen Zhiyu was unsure if he could handle it.
Chen Zhiyu was tormented by these doubts and anxieties, and kept hesitating. His heart was filled with turmoil, and he felt as if his internal organs were being weighed down by a huge boulder, making him feel uneasy.
If we don't explore the hidden truths, can we pretend nothing happened? His hands, hidden under the coffee table, were clenched so tightly his fingertips turned white. Chen Zhiyu took a deep breath, and finally, forcibly turned his head away, refusing to look.
Soon, Josh returned.
*
In the days that followed, Chen Zhiyu tried every day to convince himself and force himself to face reality.
In the dark room, a sliver of light from outside shone through the window, and the howling wind made the window frames tremble, producing a chilling sound.
In the dim light, Chen Zhiyu sat listlessly against his bed, his long legs dangling across the edge, his head bowed, his gaze fixed on the watch he treasured and kept on his bedside table.
That was a birthday present Josh gave him.
His thoughts began to wander uncontrollably: would she also buy birthday gifts for other men?
His mind was constantly constructing various possibilities.
Even if Josh doesn't talk about it now, he will in the future.
This is a fact he will eventually have to face.
He will eventually see her dating and even get married, but what will he do after that? Will he be able to remain calm?
Unexpectedly, after trying to convince myself, what followed was another, even more profound suffering.
Can he really just stand by and watch Josh fall in love with someone else?
No, he can't.
Chen Zhiyu still couldn't convince himself.
Late at night, it was pitch black outside the window. His blurry shadow was reflected on the bedroom window. Chen Zhiyu stared blankly for a long time, feeling as if he were lost in the deep sea and had lost his way home.
Endless darkness enveloped him.
Chen Zhiyu admitted that he initially developed a strange dependence on Qiao Xi, but this dependence later went in an uncontrollable direction. He began to crave Qiao Xi's kindness and regarded it as his own.
Josh's attention is definitely going to be on him.
Suddenly, as if he had found a guiding light, a glimmer of hope finally flashed in his deep eyes.
Chen Zhiyu breathed a sigh of relief. He believed he had found the best solution for both sides, and his mind and body relaxed. His inner knot was untied at that moment.
Yes, her slightly raised eyebrows conveyed a relaxed and open-minded attitude. If Josh wants to date, then why? Why can't she date him?
If Josh is to be in a relationship, he can only be her one and only choice.
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