Akutagawa Haunting
Rong, who was crying out of breath, thought of her brother, because her brother was a coward even more useless than Rong. If Rong was so scared, then her brother must be even more scared.
——This is Suzuki’s brother, Dazai Osamu.
"How are you, little brother?" The third in command of the GSS organization put his hand on the thin shoulder of the black-haired and phoenix-eyed little boy, speaking in a tone that sounded both proud and threatening.
The hand he placed on Dazai Osamu's shoulder was even dripping with blood.
But Dazai Osamu seemed not to hear the threat in his words, nor to notice the neurotic smile on the third-in-command's face. He gave him a smile that could be considered obedient.
"Now that I think about it, it's not that hard to accept."
Hide your shaking hands in your pocket.
I'm afraid I'll remember the scene just now for the rest of my life.
*
Time passed slowly, and in the blink of an eye, a month had gone by. I still couldn't really play together with the sheep people.
People who are not sheep have never shown me kindness, but like a small animal of a different species in a flock of sheep, I feel out of place.
I feel that imitating their lifestyle is like a clumsy pretender who collects wool from the flock and then sticks it on himself.
It clearly wanted to make a "meh" sound, but when it opened its mouth it made an ugly weird cry, which attracted surprised looks from all around, as if to say, "Look, that's a weird thing."
There seems to be an essential difference between them and me. Under our almost identical skins, I see that the "bag" that contains myself is missing a piece of bone and is sunken.
Many times this month, I have woken up from my sleep in the middle of the night with a startle.
Sometimes I remembered the tragic death of that man, and sometimes I vaguely saw my brother turning into a pile of bones in some deserted corner.
After being awakened, I usually choose to sit alone with my knees hugged until the morning light shines into the room through the window, and then continue my work for the day.
On many of those nights, I was always in a state of half asleep and half awake.
The moonlight is so clear, as if I am the only one left in the world.
Every time I think of the story that Dazai Osamu told me, about the witch who was afraid of thunder and her little girl who was not afraid of thunder.
I can be that little girl for my brother, but my brother is a powerful witch who can fly on his broom at any time to a place where thunder can never be heard again.
He thought the little girl was not afraid of thunder, so he left her there without any worries, in the small nest prepared by the witch for her.
The little girl was not afraid of thunder. She was only afraid that her witch would not want her, that she would once again become an unwanted little child, and that she would live in suffocating loneliness.
The little girl is actually a big fool. If she doesn't ask for what she wants, she will never get it, such as her mother's love or her father's forgiveness...
To Rong, death is not scary.
*
As Nakahara Chuuya looked at the dark circles under the child's eyes and his increasingly slow reactions, he began to wonder:
Am I not able to raise something properly?
Nakahara Chuuya tried to care about Rong, but he had no such experience and his way of caring for people seemed particularly clumsy.
He took the child to her favorite video game arcade. Although the child also liked it and always enjoyed the game, the sad expression on her face reappeared after a while.
He took the child to a high place to enjoy the breeze, really high up, above the clouds, but the child only pointed at the big moon and said, "I want to give it flowers."
He asked her why, and the child replied, "Mr. Moon, who is above the clouds, can't see Miss Flower."
He said, "The moon won't be sad because it can't see the flowers."
Who knew that the child only thought for two seconds and said to him happily, "I'm just making excuses for myself. Chuuya, you don't understand. The moon won't be sad, but among the thousands of ordinary flowers on the ground, there is one that yearns for the moon."
It turns out that I was longing for the moon. There is absolutely nothing I can do about it.
But you can't just leave children alone. No matter who abandons them, just wait for gravity's revenge!
After that, the child looked much better, at least the dark circles under his eyes were much better than before, but he still had that expression in the corners that were not easily noticed.
However, there was one thing that concerned Nakahara Chuuya: the child would look up and gaze into the distance from time to time, as if he was waiting for someone.
*
I met that boy again, the boy with white hair.
Only this time, he looked a little bit wolfish.
When I met him, he was fighting with a bunch of people, but the result was obvious, he won, just a little hard.
My progress was obvious, because once again I was almost at peace with seeing someone die in front of me.
Actually, it's not the case. I'm just pretending to be calm.
He seemed to have a lung disease and kept coughing after the fight, but his own health was bothering him and me.
"Rashomon!"
The black beast brushed past my ear. I didn't show it on my face, but cold sweat dripped down the palm of my hand.
"Since you have no ill intentions towards me, I have allowed you to spy on me. So, are you finally going to tell me your purpose now?"
I'm not surprised that he was able to find me. After all, from the way he was fighting, I could tell that he was a very sharp person.
"You have a sister, right?"
The supernatural creature called "Rashomon" by its owner stopped in front of me, like a silent threat.
"What is your purpose?"
I smiled. Although the smile may have seemed a little distorted due to the fear in my heart, it didn't matter, as long as the purpose was achieved.
"It just seems like a coincidence." I kept a smile on my face and stuck my head out so that we could have a more "fair" negotiation.
At least I should be able to see his expression or he should be able to see mine.
"I also have a brother, and he's currently on an adventure. Unfortunately, he has no intention of taking me along...
Now, as a brother, can you tell me what he is thinking?"
…
"I think he just wants to protect you."
Maybe he is also a brother, but not my brother, so I can say the following words, and I guess this is also the reason why he answered just now.
I nodded in agreement. "Oh, oh, oh! I think so too... But don't you think he's too selfish?"
"The dead are relieved, leaving us the living to struggle and miss them. Isn't this essentially irresponsible?"
"Like you are now, lung disease?"
He nodded.
I continued, "You fight every day, and you keep your sister away from harm - in this respect you are very similar to my brother."
"Let me think about it. What is your sister thinking right now? I guess she wants to help her brother just like me. What will she do to achieve this?"
"Yin is a very sensible child." His expression looked serious or even ferocious.
“Yes, yes,” I replied perfunctorily. “My brother once commented on me as the best child in the family. A good child wouldn’t behave like this after seeing a dead person…”
Bragging about myself in front of strangers... This is the only time in my life!
"Forget it, I know one more thing. You also have your own small group like Yang's Nakahara Chuuya, right?" I showed him the blue bracelet on my hand.
The effect was very obvious. The black beast that had been hanging in front of me slowly moved away.
I could finally relax a little. "Want to make money? Any organization needs money, and I happen to have a way to make money safely..."
I made a "a little bit" gesture with my hand.
"A small path."
"Why should I believe you?"
I took out my hand and looked at it carefully. It turned out that it was not an illusion. My hands were full of sweat from fear.
Pretending to be nonchalant, "Because... my special ability is very useful."
"You can choose not to believe it, but the opportunity to make your sister and friends live a good life is now in front of you. Do you want it or not?"
He seemed to be thinking about the feasibility, and I tried my best to act nonchalant so that he wouldn't feel that I was actually in a weak position.
Because if he doesn't agree to me, I will have to kneel down and beg him, or go back to persuade the sheep's people.
"Okay, I can follow you and give it a try, but if it doesn't work as you say, or if I find out you're hiding this from me, I'll tear you into pieces!"
"Good!" I guess I must be smiling brightly now.
"However"
But? Why are there so many "buts" in this world? My smile is frozen on my face, which must be a bit scary.
"I have a question. Why didn't you choose the sheep Nakahara Chuuya? To you, Nakahara Chuuya should be a better choice?"
So that's the question. It's not unexpected. Now that I think about it, isn't it a little too late to ask this question since you've already agreed to it?
The alert look in the boy's eyes is similar to the boy who killed people without blinking an eye that I saw that day. Although he is taller than me, I am not sure of his age because of the precedent of Dazai Osamu.
"Because, Nakahara Chuuya has other uses for me."
Actually, no, I simply never thought about cooperating with Nakahara Chuuya from the beginning. Why is that? I myself don’t really understand it.
I like Nakahara Chuuya. There is no special reason. If I have to say specifically, for me, it might be because he saw it.
This leader is really weird. What kind of leader would take his subordinates out for some fresh air to change their mood?
"By the way, after talking for so long, I still don't know your name."
He looked at me in surprise and said, "You know so much about me, why don't you even know my name?"
Because the wind doesn’t know your name, so I don’t know either.
"I think basic courtesy should be observed. My name is Rong."
"…I will never change my name, my surname, Akutagawa Ryunosuke."
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