Chapter 061 If "I" Became a Ghost
Suppose I turned into a ghost.
*
When I was very young, my mother or father sent me to the Paradise Religion at their wish.
The followers of the Eternal Paradise Cult are all women. According to them, they all stayed because of their genuine admiration for the leader.
"Our leader is a true saint. He saved us from the hardships of the secular world, provided us with food and lodging, and allowed us to live a happy life."
"The Lord is not only a saint, but also very kind to women like us. He gives us a feeling that we cannot feel anywhere else."
"Yes, yes, yes. How should I put it... It feels like, it's like being with a very close person. To be honest, being with him is more enjoyable than being with my parents!" someone said shyly with a blushing face.
The "happiness" here is obviously not ordinary happiness, but more like the kind of happiness that comes from meeting a rare member of the opposite sex in your lifetime, and this member of the opposite sex treats you particularly well.
I am very curious. According to them, the Master is the best person in the world and it does not matter even if they die for him.
But the leader is very low-key and rarely appears in public. He only comes out at night to bask in the moonlight.
They said that this was because the leader knew that his sudden appearance would cause chaos, and in order not to cause trouble for those who maintained order, he had to stay in the house during the day.
Then, the leader must be a kind and benevolent person. There may be a white light behind him, a compassionate smile on his face, and he will give a warm hug to those innocent people.
A saint, a perfect person.
What would he think if he saw someone like me? Would he feel sorry for me, or would he think that I was the opposite of a saint like him?
Will he hate me, or will he treat me like everyone else in the church, or... a little more special?
No, how can I think like that? I am just an ordinary person. Only people as outstanding as the Master can be treated differently by him.
I patted my cheeks and tried to calm down so I could get back to the work at hand.
It has been three months since I was sent to the Eternal Paradise Cult. During this period, I have not even seen the corner of the leader's clothes. However, through the descriptions of the believers, it is not difficult for me to imagine what kind of person the leader is.
It was around 8 or 9 o'clock in the evening. The church member who led me was a very strict teacher. She asked me to clean the porch and then go back to bed.
I've never done anything like this before. Even when my family fell into poverty, my father and mother never let me do this kind of rough work. It seems that they were trying to uphold the "last elegance of the nobility."
Even if I insisted, they would just let me continue learning the shamisen, or memorizing some waka poems, and then the remaining ancient texts.
Just as I was about to continue kneeling on the ground and mopping the floor, I suddenly heard someone reciting a haiku poem from the side: "Lying down on a green peach tree and watching the moon in a mountain temple, my heart is calm and my mind is at peace."
The voice sounded strangely familiar. As if possessed, I opened the shoji door and saw someone sitting in the moonlight, shaking his head as if intoxicated.
Hearing me open the door, he turned around and I could see his face clearly.
I can't explain what I was feeling. After seeing his appearance clearly, I felt a huge sense of loss in my heart. But I also recognized that this was the leader that the believers talked about day and night.
Strange, wasn't I looking forward to meeting the Master? Why do I feel disappointed now that I've met him?
He smiled at me. His handsome face looked even more approachable because of this gentle and playful smile, and his colorful eyes curved into a beautiful arc.
The smile is beautiful and perfect, and it feels like even the angle of the head tilt has been calculated - this is the point that gives people a beautiful experience.
"Hey, hello, my dear little believer. It's so late and you're still awake. Are you worried about something? Or -" He tilted his head, resting his finger joints on his chin and thinking for a while.
"Is it because you miss home? I heard that children your age get homesick easily~"
When I heard his voice again, I was stunned again. Where did this inexplicable sense of familiarity come from?
Maybe the leader remembered it when he was preaching. I shook my head and threw the complicated thoughts out of my mind. However, he mistakenly thought that I was answering his question and continued to guess curiously.
"What's that? Oh, it's because they asked you to mop the floor. Really, I told them to be nice to the kids... Why didn't they listen to me? Should I manage my subordinates like a boss?"
He twisted his body like a caterpillar in confusion.
I didn't quite understand what he said, but my upbringing taught me that honest children are liked by others, so in order to avoid the leader finding me annoying, I said
"It's because I knocked over the lunch plate at noon, and I have to make up for it by doing work."
"Oh, so that's it!" he said happily, but I suspected that he didn't understand what I said at all, and his expression was so determined that I doubted myself for a moment.
I decided to say it again
"It's not their problem, Master."
Strangely enough, after hearing the Master's voice for the first time, my awe of him actually decreased a lot.
"The sisters in the church are all very nice, but they are a little strict with me."
"Soga, I know, everyone is still as good as ever, that's great."
I nodded slightly. Everyone in the church is really good, the best people.
"Oh, right." He looked at me and said, "Xiao Rong seems to be alone in church all the time. Doesn't she feel lonely?"
…It seems like I’ve been discovered. The leader has noticed something strange about me. That’s right, people who don’t fit in are more likely to be discovered by predators.
Really... I've tried so hard to fit in.
After a long one-sided silence, he continued to say to me, "I shouldn't have discovered you, a little mouse hiding in the church, so quickly. But a few days ago when I was out, I happened to rescue a brother and sister. They looked so pitiful at the time. I can still clearly remember the look in the brother's eyes... Sorry, sorry, I've gone off topic again.
After giving them blood, I recalled the time when I accidentally discovered the person who had discovered the secret. "
He smiled at me, like a blooming flower stained with blood. His temperament now was exactly the same as it was when he appeared before me that night.
"I seem to have focused my attention on the adults and forgot that there are still a small group of children like you in the church."
…
"Will you eat me? Eat me like you ate my sister."
Maybe I should be scared now, but to be honest, not only am I not scared, I even look very calm. The concrete evidence is the interest that gradually emerges in the eyes of the master. As expected, the master said to me
"Why doesn't Xiaorong look scared at all? As far as I know, humans should be extremely scared when faced with a life-or-death situation, right?"
I really couldn't answer this question for him, not because I didn't know the answer, but because my heart seemed particularly narrow and ugly in front of him.
I wondered, if my parents knew that the place where I was staying was ruled by a cannibal, what would their reaction be? Would they come and take me back?
I asked my sister who was in charge of purchasing at school to bring a letter to my parents, but of course they didn't come after two months.
I think they are just like other parents. They just think that the letter I sent was the same as those sent by other little girls, and their parents think I was being willful.
I comforted myself like this, but I seemed to be able to clearly realize how easy their lives would be after getting rid of me.
For them, it is a good thing to send their own children, whom they are unwilling to treat unfairly, to a place where they can enjoy a good life now that their family has fallen on hard times and they themselves are having trouble making a living.
If this is the case, then there is naturally no need to feel too guilty about children who can enjoy a good life, and it seems that this is even something worth showing off.
"Our children are very intelligent! They have all been chosen by the masters of the Eternal Paradise Cult!"
When I was brought here by my parents that day, I saw with my own eyes a father saying these words.
I admit that I was very resistant to this completely unfamiliar environment. Even though the sisters in the church were very nice, I felt at a loss with their enthusiasm.
So it is understandable that he could not sleep at night and sneaked out, right? It is also understandable that he met the cannibalistic leader in the middle of the night, right? Now that he was discovered by the cannibalistic leader and was about to die, it is not surprising, right?
Every day I was afraid that he, who was sitting high up in the hall, would see me, find out that I had discovered his secret, and then eat me up. Only when that happened did I finally feel relieved.
Well, now, these days of being afraid every day are finally coming to an end - this is the only thought left in my mind. Maybe the fear has been consumed in advance, and I really can't have any other emotions now.
"How pitiful." He supported his chin with one hand and looked at me with a smile on his face. His colorful eyes seemed to be looking at me from outside the world.
"Xiao Rong...are you going to turn into a ghost? Are you going to turn into something like me?"
"…………I, in fact, may, seem to, want to die a little bit…Is this not normal? Am I being ungrateful to my sisters for taking care of me? Am I not doing well again?"
I'm useless.
The leader sat up from the ground, squatted in front of me, gently wiped the corners of my eyes, and said to me softly like a real gentle god.
"Come and become a ghost."
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