Chapter 065
For some reasons, Mr. Mori arranged a business trip for me to Aomori, and he was sure that I would not refuse the task he gave me.
Oh……
I really don't :(
When I was sitting in the car, I no longer felt carsick, as I had gotten used to it... Sorry, I was still very dizzy, as if I had been working non-stop for two days and two nights and then returned to the office to find a pile of documents.
I was in such a bad mood that Incheon, who was driving the car, kept looking back at me.
I said, "Incheon, I don't want to die young."
Dazai Osamu is currently busy with the final work of the Dragon War. He definitely doesn't want to go back. There is no possibility at all.
Therefore, I didn't tell him that I was going back. Telling him would probably only make him unhappy, although he might be able to guess it himself...
Alas, wise men, too much wisdom will lead to harm.
I closed my eyes, leaned back in my chair, and hoped that I could sleep through this difficult journey.
Incheon is a qualified assistant. It is rare for me to fall into a deep sleep in an environment that is not suitable for me.
The boundary between dream and reality, the breeze blowing through the treetops, the mushrooms after the rain breaking open the rotten leaves above their heads... Who is humming an unknown tune that reaches my ears through the mist?
A girl, ah, looks so familiar.
I experienced her life in my dreams. It was a life as hopeless as mine, but I could feel that the way she committed suicide was very similar to the freshness and cheerfulness that Dazai Osamu dreamed of.
And, oh my god, why does that "big moth" look so familiar to me, like a relative I have never met.
When I woke up, I felt even more tired.
It was already dark, the shadows of the trees on the roadside passed by quickly, and the mountains on the horizon rose and fell in my eyes.
Incheon seemed to notice that I was awake and told me that it would take another ten minutes to reach Aomori.
I opened my phone and checked the time. I started to feel tired again. The thought of going back to see that big family made me feel like my limbs were tied with heavy chains.
"Incheon," I said sadly, "What do you think about us turning back right now?"
"...Dazai-sama, you know this is very difficult, right?"
I collapsed in the back seat of the car, wanting to die.
"Then at least we can delay for one night and find a nearby hotel."
Musashi turned the steering wheel as instructed and drove in another direction.
"Thank you, Incheon. Please be my assistant forever!"
"I'm really flattered by your compliment," Incheon replied lazily, seeming to not care about the reward at all.
cut.
After checking in, I lay on the big bed in the hotel. I should have felt sleepy, but I was so awake.
Alas, my supernatural power is so noisy. I want to go back, go back to Dazai Osamu. At least if I am by his side, holding his hand, my ears will be much quieter.
It's been five hours since I left Yokohama. I miss his special ability.
I couldn't sleep, so I turned over and stood up like a resentful female ghost.
Sooner or later, I will be driven crazy by this magical life.
I tucked my coat in and prepared to go out for a walk, when I ran into a Musashi Inchuan who was smoking outside.
When he saw me, he seemed to be stunned for a moment, then he threw the cigarette on the ground and stomped it out, grabbed the collar with one hand to fan away the smell, walked up to me and asked, "Dazai-sama, where are you going so late?"
I didn't look at him and said calmly, "I'm just going out for a walk, don't worry about me."
I didn't hear his answer, so I looked up at him and asked, "Don't you understand?"
"Yes." He looked at me, took a step back and saluted like a mafia.
I left.
I walked slowly along the main road, and the shadows of the trees on the roadside danced an ancient dance with their claws and fangs bared.
I didn't care, because the vague thoughts I was thinking occupied all my attention.
I once longed to become someone like Dazai Osamu, but is this idea really correct?
I want to be like him, calm in the face of danger and miraculously turning the tide, but what about him? Does he want to be like me? He doesn't understand how things happen, so he doesn't bother to solve the problems, and can even tolerate most of the idiots in the world.
This way, we can live a happier life.
Did he not have those moments when I felt vulnerable? Did he not have those moments when I felt vulnerable and wanted someone to be there for me?
What was I, such a slow-witted person, doing at a time like this?
My steps became faster and faster until I missed a step and fell down the grassy slope by the road.
I lay on the grass, watching the dense grass connect to the deep forest, the deep forest spread into the deep sky, and finally disappear into the invisible darkness.
Perhaps, in the eyes of other people who know Dazai Osamu, Dazai Osamu is extremely intelligent and powerful, but in the eyes of his relatives, he is only a few years older than me.
The distance of a few years is as close as the distance between my fingertips and the sky in front of me.
I opened my mouth, wanting to say something, but in the end nothing came out. The vague sounds I uttered merged into a series of intermittent “Mom…Mom…”
I miss home.
I put down my open palms, moved my fingertips slightly, and told myself that I couldn't.
When I came, I was wearing a black cashmere coat, a silk white shirt, a pair of black high-waisted wide-leg pants, and a pair of five-centimeter-high black high heels.
But now, my coat was covered with grass clippings from the tumbling, and there were streaks of dust on my cheeks.
I lay on the grass, even expecting a vicious wolf to suddenly appear.
The wind started to blow again, bringing with it the coolness of the rainy night, which made my heart feel chilly.
Large families, including the Tsushima family, had the custom of regularly organizing people to go hunting in the nearby mountains. For example, the local Akita dog, which is particularly suitable for traveling through the narrow mountains and bushes of the island country, is a good example of this custom.
Since I was aware of this custom, I naturally had no hope of the appearance of a wolf. The probability of a wild dog appearing was greater than this.
I seemed to see the silver spider web in the distance flashing like the stars in the sky.
The sky in the distance became even emptier.
"Moshimoshi?"
Dazai Osamu's voice pulled me out of my wandering thoughts. When did I... actually take out my cell phone and call him...
I didn't say anything, so I didn't say anything. During this time, he probably had the patience to sit in the office and process the documents.
"Aiya, you still like to act coquettishly even though you've grown up so much, Rongrong~"
I curled my lips and thought to myself that I was not acting coquettishly.
"The sky is clear tonight and the first star of Orion can be seen."
I heard him open the window.
"Really? The light pollution here in Yokohama is still making it hard to see those things."
I pursed my lips and held my breath for a while, but finally I said to my phone, "I'm sorry, Azhi."
"Huh?"
"I was always very ignorant in the past, and I made you worry a lot."
"…Are you asking me to remember your last words? If this is your last words, it's really boring."
“…Get lost.”
“Hehe~”
Although the atmosphere has been completely ruined by him, after much thought, I decided to make things clear to him tonight.
"I think it would be better if you didn't interrupt me, because I'm also nervous about what I want to say to you next."
I heard him close the window.
"I have been a stupid kid since I was little, brother. You must know that I hated you when I was little."
There was the sound of his light breathing in the microphone, but to me it was just a vague acknowledgement.
"Then I realized that maybe it wasn't you that I hated. I hated myself the most. I'm sorry. I used to be so deeply trapped in this kind of self-loathing that I seemed to have ignored many people without realizing it."
This kind of self-centeredness can be considered a self-centered defect.
We were silent for a long time again, and he sighed, "Mr. Rong, you know, ever since I brought you here and into the Mafia, I have always hoped that everyone who meets you would not dislike or hate you."
I could hardly hold back my tears.
"You always say you are stupid, but in my heart, you are excellent. When you encounter problems that are difficult for ordinary children of your age, you stay calm and take the initiative to find solutions. When you encounter setbacks, you do not stop moving forward. When you encounter difficulties, although you know that you may not be able to complete it, you still encourage yourself and work hard to complete it."
"You always ask me if I'm not doing well enough. But sometimes I even think you handle it better. I don't want to face the softness of people's hearts because it's too scary. You are much braver than me."
"You always want to compare yourself to me. I think that's normal. If you can't compare yourself to me, that's also normal. I'm your brother, a rare smart man in the world."
"I'm actually not very good at comforting others. When you're sad, I'm always at a loss as to what to do, so the results are always unsatisfactory for me."
"Brother" I said in a crying voice.
I sobbed and was speechless. I was still too weak. I was just going back home and yet I was exposing myself to such a desperate situation.
I think the education of my late father was successful. I still hate my own weakness until now. But it is not the case when I am with Dazai Osamu.
"You are always ashamed to reveal your true thoughts. Actually, I am the same, but I am more timid. I am afraid that if I don't say it, my stupid sister will never know how excellent she is."
He chuckled complacently, and I could even imagine the corners of his mouth curled up like the smug look he had when he was a child.
He would often deliberately act more fragile than me to tell me: look, even a boy is weak, so it's normal for you, as a girl, to be weak.
The same is true today.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
