Chapter 29
You can't bother people around you casually, because only those who are loved have the right to act coquettishly.
I found a quiet place and sat down alone.
I think I must look very lonely now, but even so I still don't want to ask others for help.
Because I had anticipated this situation when I dragged my body out like this.
I didn't intend to cause trouble to others, I just thought that I had to go out. Besides, I was not used to lying in bed alone.
No one would accompany me, and Zhongye had to go out to work - while I stayed in Yang steadily, so did everyone else.
But I also don’t want Zhongye to stay with me because of his worries. To him, the sheep’s affairs are the most important thing.
The sheep's affairs should not be postponed because of me.
The same goes for Akutagawa. His companions need him more than me.
Besides, I am fully capable of protecting myself. The reason I didn't make that trafficker suffer before was simply because I hadn't yet developed how to use my special abilities.
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So it is the moments of life and death that can better temper people.
Just then, someone gently hugged me from behind.
I was stunned, but quickly came to my senses.
"elder brother."
I smelled a familiar scent.
I turned my head, saw that face, hugged him back and repeated "Brother."
Dazai Osamu sat next to me and let me do the little movements of almost hanging on him.
He reached out and patted my back, adjusting his position so that I wouldn't press on the wound. Seeing the wound on my body, he said, "You've been doing a lot of things recently."
I didn't say anything because I was quickly becoming drowsy and wanted to sleep.
"It hurts, but I survived." I looked up at him. "You're complimenting me."
He smiled and put his head against mine, rubbing my head. "Yes, yes, my sister Rong is the best."
I buried my head in his chest again with satisfaction. I felt the bandages on his body and said, "Brother has grown taller again."
Then I let him go because I smelled blood on him.
Dazai Osamu casually took my hand and looked at it. "Well, there are coils on Velvet's hands, but my hands don't have anything like that."
He showed me his left hand.
I blinked slowly. "I don't really want to start a fight with you right away."
Whose hand did I get the cob for? Now he is still mocking me. Isn't he afraid that I will fight him with my teeth?
He raised his hands in surrender. "Alright, alright, you still have to go back and take care of yourself, okay? No matter what you do, your health is the most important thing."
His words suddenly overlapped with everyone else's, but I lowered my head unwillingly and said, "But I just put this line together..."
"Never mind, Rong. Your body is more important than that." Perhaps because he had stayed in that place for too long, his tone unconsciously carried a hint of command.
…
"don't want!"
When I heard what he said, I was furious. Where did he learn this adult tone? Don't talk to me in this tone casually.
Everyone else can talk to me in this tone, but Dazai Osamu can't. He just can't. He's the only one who can't.
Perhaps realizing my attitude, he immediately softened his tone.
"But, Rong..." He said uneasily.
"Does your injury hurt?"
"No pain like yours." I told him bluntly.
…
"Does Velvet care about me?"
...I want to be possessed by Chuuya Nakahara!
I remained silent. In fact, before we met, I felt that I should have a lot to say to my brother, but when I really saw my brother, I just wanted to stay by his side quietly for a while.
Fortunately, Dazai Osamu was willing to speak.
"I've been working for GSS lately, helping them keep an eye on some smuggled goods. It's not an important job, but I can still make money... Can you come visit me, Rong?"
He guessed it. Yes, how could my brother not guess it?
"Don't try so hard, Velvet."
…
"Brother, you know that the person you are least likely to deceive in this world is me."
"If I look at a normal person, will there be a bloody smell on him?"
He remained calm and said, "It's mine."
I leaned against a tree by the roadside and said nonchalantly, "Brother, I was kidnapped before. Don't check that place. Just think of it as being for me."
My eyes were dull as I recalled that every guard there was armed with a gun. That place had a powerful force behind it, and it must be bigger than the GSS.
My brother didn't say anything, but suddenly turned to look at me and said, "Rong, I'm hungry. Shall we go buy some crabs?"
"I still have wounds on my body, so this shouldn't be suitable, right?"
"It's okay. You can eat crabs if you're injured. I've checked. Of course, if you don't want to eat it, I can do it for you."
"Don't even think about it."
Although I don't really like eating crabs.
*
I don't feel sorry that Dazai Osamu has left.
Sadly, his arrival did not make me feel any less sad, but it did make me feel much happier.
The problem was not solved, but my brother's arrival was like a shot of adrenaline for me.
After he and I finished eating crabs, we met Nakahara Chuuya who came to visit us. He poked my head with his finger and carried me back to the sheep in a frustrated manner.
The kind that curses while walking.
*
I lay on the bed and repeatedly assured him that I would not run around before letting him leave, looking back every few steps.
Lying alone in bed, I can do nothing but watch the white clouds outside the window floating around like the sea fish sold in the morning.
I more or less understood what my body needed. Dazai Osamu, Nakahara Chuuya, and even Akutagawa all advised me to get enough rest.
Lying in bed slowed my mind down, a feeling I haven't had in a long time.
It's better to say that after leaving the Tsushima family, I rarely let myself think about those things. Now, I don't want to think about this matter and there is nothing else to think about.
Thinking carefully, I realized that as long as no one else heard about this kind of thing, I could still discuss it in my mind, so I felt relieved and bold enough to think about myself.
In fact, I shouldn't have cared about those kids in the first place. At least they could have saved their lives by staying in that basement.
But if you leave with me, there is at least a 90% chance that you will die.
But, that's their own idea. If you think about it carefully, their decision has nothing to do with me.
Also, without them I wouldn't have taken so many injuries, the guards wouldn't have been on guard and I could have left slowly, so there's no need to be upset about it afterwards.
I actually started to blame those kids, but when I realized this, I stopped thinking about it.
What was wrong with those people?
They, like me, just wanted to go home.
Besides, those guards I killed might not have been unaware of the consequences if I were caught, and they might have believed, like me, that the death they gave them was a more reassuring destination.
Since what they want to give me is death, which I don't even want, and they have such a horrible mentality, then isn't what I give them the same thing?
Thinking of this, I feel at ease.
…………
…
I can't do it at all. I still have hallucinations of the blood on my hands. Sometimes I even dream that the place where the blood appeared is rotten and crawling with maggots, and those children are twisting their broken bodies and hugging my legs.
Not to mention the boss of each dream - the three guards.
I was killed many times in my dreams, all in the ways I had imagined dying that night.
To be honest, when I think back to that night, I just think it is incredible that I survived that night. I even think that there must be God helping me, otherwise there is no other explanation for my luck that night.
I was so moved that I almost crawled out from under the quilt and kowtowed to the god with all my heart.
But I didn't.
If there really is a God in the world, He should not have allowed me to appear in this world, because God is omniscient and omnipotent, and I have become a disaster.
There are many people like me in the world. If there really is a God, He would never allow someone like me to appear in this world.
If there really is such a God, then He must be extremely evil, a bad God, and not worthy of respect.
*
While I was daydreaming, the calico cat I had seen before jumped in with a book in its mouth and wiped its paws on the ground.
It successfully interrupted my thoughts that if the gods heard this, they would be so angry that they would come down to earth to execute me.
Mr. Calico Cat put the book next to my hand and refused to jump onto my bed as if he hated his dirty paws. I could only quietly take out a handkerchief and put it on the bed.
Avoid doubts about Mr. Calico Cat's humanity.
"Humanity needs cats to heal."
After I finished talking to myself, I instantly felt ashamed.
How on earth did I say that?
...Fortunately, Mr. Calico Cat is just a cat. No matter how smart he is, he can never turn into a human!
Mr. Calico Cat was like an elder doting on a younger one. He actually understood what I said and even jumped onto the towel and lay down.
I guess the calico cat brought the book at the suggestion of its owner.
Because Mr. Calico Cat has shiny and smooth fur, like a duke among cats, he is well taken care of, and his owner is a very smart person - as smart as his brother.
He (she) discovered me through clues on his (her) cat and asked Mr. Calico Cat to come and keep me company.
Thank you to that kind-hearted person. I feel much happier now that Mr. Calico Cat is with me every day.
So when I received the book, I wrote a letter to that kind person, using my limited vocabulary and a child's tender handwriting.
After I finished writing, I wrapped it up and gave it to Mr. Calico Cat, asking him to keep it safe and deliver it to the mysterious kind-hearted person.
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