Chapter 30
A letter to a mysterious kind person;
Thank you for asking Mr. Calico Cat to bring me the book. Although I haven't opened it yet, I can already imagine how wonderful its contents are. Thank you for your kindness over the past few days.
Mr. Calico is a great cat. He often stays by my bedside to take care of me - as elegant as a real gentleman.
As for my health, I think it’s not serious. I was able to go door to door selling my fish the next day after the injury!
But some of my older brothers didn’t want to see me working so hard, so they just let me lie in bed and recuperate.
But I actually don’t like lying in bed and doing nothing… I’m not ashamed to tell you that I can never accept these kindnesses with a clear conscience.
So I also tried to knit some scarves on the hospital bed, hoping to make some money from them.
But my hands were so clumsy that I couldn’t even tie my own hair properly, so I tried hard on my own for two days, and then the brother with orange hair told me to stop.
——Just because such an activity pulled the wound on my shoulder, when he found the tangled scarf I had hidden, I could even see the raging anger behind him.
He was almost about to ignore the pain in my body and hit me on the head!
Although he did it in the end...
To my surprise, the brother sighed, bent down and hugged me weakly.
His reaction left me at a loss, and it made me feel extremely uneasy.
I asked him why he didn't get angry and take it out on me - such behavior might have been somewhat out of spite.
I've never seen him look so helpless and tired.
In my memory, he should be a person who is as bright as the sun, moving forward courageously, and believing that all difficulties will eventually give way because of his strength.
To have him look like that because of me really made me feel... like a light rain was falling in my heart, so heavy that I couldn't even lift a finger.
But guess what he told me at that time? Ha, you would never have thought that he actually said I was a good kid!
Is he insulting me by using this word?
I was so emotionally agitated that I felt like a bell that had been hit hard. Although it looked calm at first glance, the sound it made was huge.
In the final analysis, the scarves I knitted were like a mess from beginning to end, and they did not bring any economic benefits at all. If a dog were given such a scarf, he would even throw it away and hate it.
What's more, I have a criminal record. I have committed unforgivable crimes!
He actually said that to me, saying that I was a “good kid”!
Isn't this ironic?
But in fact, just like the big bell, not only was my whole body so stiff that I couldn't move, even my throat seemed to be pinched. I couldn't utter a word and could only let the tears flow slowly.
I knew I was being hypocritical, so I tried hard to stop myself from crying.
Crying because of emotions is more despised than crying because of hurt.
Emotions cannot bring pain, but being hurt can. A huge and hideous scar is much more empathetic than losing a father or a mother.
…………
…
Normally I wouldn't talk so much to others, but it's just because I've been lying alone for too long and have nothing to do.
Just take this as a pastime.
Or would you like to keep it as a secret between us?
Well, even though I have written this far, I still feel a little awkward, but I am too lazy to delete the previous words and think of other trivial things that may not be worth mentioning in your opinion.
A little girl who is under your care and whom you have never met.
*
The first moment Natsume Soseki received the letter, he couldn't wait to open it and read it, but unfortunately he was stopped by a little girl. He had to take the letter back to his apartment in frustration.
After reading it, he sighed, picked up a pen and wrote a reply to the child.
——
Dear child;
I am glad that you have such high expectations for the book I gave you.
But in reality, the book is not good enough. I just hope you won't be disappointed after reading it.
I'm very sorry about your health. That kind of injury must be very painful for a child, right?
But I am also happy to see your positive attitude.
As for your brothers' care for your health, I think it is just a common concern and you don't need to do so.
...As far as I know, brothers and sisters in your area are rarely related by blood? Then I can understand your anxiety.
Your brother's care for you is out of his own will. If you truly feel this kindness, it is enough to repay it in the way you think is appropriate.
Also, I don’t think crying is wrong, because crying is a right that people have since birth, so I naturally don’t think crying is so-called “pretentious”.
Please remember that crying in front of someone who loves you is a privilege. It is not only a privilege given to you by the other person, but also a privilege you give to the other person.
The other person allows your weakness, and you also allow the other person to see your vulnerability. Therefore, crying in front of someone who loves you is not hypocrisy, but a manifestation of love.
Please don't be ashamed of crying, it is no uglier than the morning dew sliding down the petals, it is even just as beautiful.
I will keep this secret somewhere where no one else will know about it, please rest assured.
An old man.
*
Because of my immediate post-injury behavior, I was forced to extend my "vacation"
I have been lying in bed for almost a month, and the dead leaves are falling - just like the money I have lost.
One morning I actually saw snow falling. I heard from Yuxing that snow is not common in Yokohama. Even if it snows, it is very small and accumulates in a thin layer on the ground. It usually melts into water the next day.
I think this is very novel. Growing up in Tsushima, I can see heavy snow almost every year.
I wonder what this light snowfall in Yokohama will be like.
Just as I was curiously watching the tiny snowflakes melting on the wet ground, Nakahara Chuuya came in and said he would take me to the other side to warm up by the fire.
Because it would be very humid when it snowed, they bought a small sun last year, and many people would choose to gather together and warm themselves by the fire in such weather.
…
When I arrived, I found that they were divided into two groups. At the door, they filled a large barrel with firewood and gasoline and started a fire.
Several ropes were pulled up in the house, with quilts hung on the ropes. Through the layers of quilts, the warm light of the sun and the coughs of several children could be vaguely seen.
Nakahara Chuuya took me into the house and told me that when it snowed yesterday, the roof collapsed for some reason, a boy's leg was broken, and several quilts were wet.
He said that the wind outside was very strong and the house was very stuffy. Many boys were more irritable and couldn't stand being indoors, so they all wanted to go outside.
Of course, he would wait at the door with the other boys later.
I saw a boy lying in the house, the one with a broken leg. He was shouting that he was a man and should go to the door with everyone.
Yuxing bluntly interrupted him with two slices of bread.
The bread that had been left overnight was a bit hard, and the choked boy started coughing violently.
When they saw Nakahara Chuuya bringing me in, they silently made way for an empty seat.
A five-year-old saw me and plucked up the courage to ask me to tell a story.
I am not a person with a bad taste, but the knowledge base provided by the Tsushima family is a bit outdated. After careful selection, I can only choose two stories about winter in my mind.
The Little Match Girl and the Japanese Traditional Tale Snow Woman
Looking at the expectant eyes around me, I decided to talk about "Snow Woman" first.
Maybe there will be a few people who can’t sleep that night?
The boys at the door heard us telling stories and became quiet, but the younger ones couldn't help but run over. I noticed them and raised my voice a little.
…………
…
After finishing the story of "Snow Woman", my voice was a little hoarse, and Nakahara Chuuya handed me a glass of water. It turned out that the boys had gathered around us unknowingly, making the place stuffy and crowded.
Now I understand why the boys said the room was stuffy.
The story of "Snow Woman" has a strong Japanese fantasy flavor, to put it simply, it's scary.
Even Nakahara Chuuya hugged himself and shuddered. When he saw me looking over, he stiffened his neck and said to me, "This story is too boring!"
The others more or less agreed with him.
I nodded in understanding, poured a glass of warm water for Chuuya, and then started talking about "The Little Match Girl".
Older children seem to have heard a lot of it, but there are still children of my age who have not heard this story, not to mention those who are younger.
Stories that are familiar to others are still popular stories among these people who have not read books, so I still received their praise.
Apart from Shirase, he seemed to have long been fed up with the fact that I was ordered by Chuuya to rest and lie in bed all day.
After I finished my story, he was the first to make a sound, a mocking sound.
"This is a story that has been told countless times elsewhere, right? It's so old-fashioned."
I nodded in agreement. “Although this story and the previous one are both very cliché, I really think they are beautiful, like two different snowflakes that have traveled through time and space and landed before my eyes.”
After listening to what I said, Shirase fell silent unwillingly. I didn't understand why he looked unhappy, because our conversations ended like this many times.
Nakahara Chuuya, who was standing by, couldn't help but grin, and patted my uninjured shoulder vigorously with a laugh.
Shirase glanced at Chuuya, but Chuuya didn't agree.
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