Hate Tsushima Shuji
The days in the solitary cell passed quickly, like cold snowflakes in winter that pass by in a flash.
I feel that those days were like the sunshine in winter. It looked very beautiful. Although it couldn’t warm me, it still made me feel much better subjectively.
In this home, "wind" is the first ray of light that shines on me, and Tsushima Shuji is some other kind of heat source. He brings me rare warmth, but it disappears quickly.
When I returned to the yard where my mother was that day, she didn't scold me. She didn't care what I brought to her. Even if my father's dislike for me spread to her, she didn't mind at all.
I used to feel uneasy, afraid that she would beat or scold me like other mothers, but she didn't.
When I returned to the yard, there was nothing there. Even the passing birds did not welcome me. They were silent, as if they were mourning something.
I know I have a lot of things planned for tomorrow. I have to go to the tutoring class with my brothers and sisters, and I have to have lunch and dinner with my father and everyone in the Tsushima family...
I have a lot of things to do.
As time went by, my brothers and sisters' pranks became as unbearable as their own, and the servants gradually became indifferent to me...
These are all okay. After all, I am not some ignorant child. I am already a mature adult - compared to my previous self.
The only one who changed a little was Tsushima Shuji. Although the distance between him and me didn't change much from before, I gradually began to like observing him.
Others wouldn't be able to notice it, but Tsushima Shuji looked like he knew it. I wasn't sure, after all, because he only smiled at me occasionally.
It's a rare smile in this family - I don't care how fake it looks!
Shuji Tsushima is good at making everyone laugh, and he is good at getting along with everyone, including me, a "freak".
Regarding this nickname, I am actually very troubled. I don’t think I am weird at all, and I may even be the most normal person in the world.
You see, I have a clear understanding of myself. I know what is wrong and what is right. With these three understandings, am I not a normal person?
I just didn't talk to my family, like my mother.
Thanks to Tsushima Shuji's good friendship skills, even if he smiled at me, it would not make others feel awkward and then bully me for no reason.
Although if they wanted to cause trouble for me, everything about me would be wrong.
But do I look like someone who would be bullied by them? People throw mud at me...
I watched as the wind blew their hair into a mess and even mustered up enough strength to mess up their kimonos.
Oh.
But I knew that adults were different from my brothers and sisters, so whenever an adult came, I acted like they were bullying me—which was how it was.
Over time, they probably understood the huge difference in IQ between the enemy and us.
To be honest, I really don't understand why my brothers and sisters' IQs have to be compared with those of a two-month-old puppy.
At least, our puppy knows to come to me when he hears me calling, and ignores me if he doesn’t hear me.
I still think Tsushima Shuji is a little bit weird.
He was obviously not like my brothers and sisters, and the wind around him was also different from that of others.
That was when Feng was helping me to avenge my brothers and sisters, and he was standing next to me. I originally wanted to keep him away.
But unexpectedly, I discovered that he was different.
The wind around each person is different. In my eyes, the wind around most people in the Tsushima family is blowing slowly towards my father. It is all gray, as if there is a piece of coal ash on everyone's face.
Only Tsushima Shuji is different, his style is special, very special...it's hard to describe, his style is very active, I can't see it when I'm close to him, and I feel like he is buried in the "coal ash" and can't be seen when he's far away.
I had never thought of observing him before, but now I see that the wind around him is really...
I frowned. Can this thing really exist in humans?
His wind was wrapped tightly around his neck, like, like, yes, like hanging.
I am particularly curious about who can have such a style.
Until one day, his wind was looking around in the crowd, and after seeing me, he rushed over hurriedly, grabbed my wrist, and wanted to take me somewhere.
Tsushima Shuji is definitely the most amazing creature in our Tsushima family. I'm not kidding, even his wind is a freak. I never knew that the wind would leave its owner and have so many emotions.
So I followed it obediently.
Then, I found him, Shuji Tsushima, in a small courtyard where no one would normally come.
He was floating quietly in the pool like a water ghost, and I was puzzled because he didn't look like he needed me at all.
But the wind on my wrist poked me panically, as if asking me to rescue him quickly.
I:……
I also poked it, "Does this thing really need me?" I didn't expect to get a reply from it. After all, I had never talked to them, and I assumed that they couldn't understand what I said.
Unexpectedly, it nodded! You can imagine the horror of a plant that you have grown from small to large in your home suddenly growing a mouth. If you can imagine that, that's how I feel now.
I numbly picked up a wooden stick, hooked it on his clothes, and pulled him to the shore.
Me, I really feel like I'm going insane now. Looking at Tsushima Shuji's expression just now, you can tell that he fell in voluntarily, and he even chose an angle where he could see the beautiful sunset.
Me: This world is really too absurd, or my ability to endure is really questionable.
Tsushima Shuji started coughing, and he became indifferent again. He looked around with his crescent eyes, then looked at me. I always felt that he looked very tired.
Who can still be energetic after having just died?
As soon as he woke up, the wind entangled his neck again, as if it wanted to strangle him.
I:?
I looked at my wrist and then at Shuji Tsushima's neck. What the hell?
Subway, old man, mobile phone.jpg
I decided to pay some attention to my blood brother whom I just saved. "What's wrong with you?"
He looked gloomy, as if he had seen the food in the confinement room that made him uncomfortable again. "Nothing."
I stared at him. "Is it really nothing?" If it was really nothing, how could he commit suicide.
"It's really nothing." He looked indifferent, as if telling me not to worry about him.
He now looks much more pitiful than a cat that fell into the water. At least cats know how to lick their fur, right?
I stopped looking at him and changed my topic. "I heard your father hit you today? I thought he would never do such a thing."
Shuji Tsushima didn't say anything. He stood up, wrung out his clothes, and wanted to leave immediately.
I didn't.
I wonder what I would do if he really died.
I thought of the confinement room, and I thought of the warmth of his body.
As much as I hated the confinement room, I liked his warmth.
But I still don't like Tsushima Shuji.
Is that a problem? I like his temperature, but I don't like him as a person, that's normal.
The evening sun was dizzying, as if it was stirring my brain and then dumping it out.
...I'm hungry.
Thinking is not for me.
Shuji Tsushima wanted a delicious cake, but Tsushima Fumi only had half a yellow scarf, which was not sweet.
It's not winter yet, so Tsushima Fluff will not take out her scarf. The scarf is too big and inappropriate to wear, which will offend people.
——Why did he leave?
I was going to go to where my family was having dinner to complete my mission and also to keep myself alive.
——Why should I live?
My brain can't support me thinking about this problem right now. I have a feeling that this will be a very difficult question, no easier than thinking about why my family bullies me.
The time is almost up now. If it’s any later, my father will be angry. When he is angry, he is very scary. He will turn into a big monster and look at me with huge and oppressive eyes.
I staggered towards where my family was having dinner, but Tsushima Shuji was already gone.
...Maybe it's hypoglycemia? I'm not sure. I can't really tell whether my body is healthy or unhealthy, just like whether my life is happy or unhappy. This boundary is very vague to me.
Am I not happy? I have a big family, I have enough food and clothing, and my life is much richer than many people.
Am I happy? I don't know.
Are you healthy? What is the dividing line? I don't have any physical pain, and even if I do, it's just an occasional bump.
If you become an adult, you will understand these issues.
*
I sat in the chair in silence, shoveling food into my mouth numbly. What was I thinking about? What was I thinking about? There must be something meaningful, right?
I can't help but want to leave these questions to my future self, so what should I think about now?
I looked around at my brothers and sisters.
——Ugh, that’s so disgusting. You’ll be scolded if you pick your nose while eating.
Sure enough, his mother slapped his hand away.
——No matter how you manipulate this hairpin, you can't get rid of the fact that it is really ugly.
——How come I didn’t know that you were so arrogant? Is it possible that half of the food in the meal is what you like?
The last guy is Shuji Tsushima. He did this very cleverly, and his father definitely couldn't see it.
Me: I understand.
Actually, there is no need. My father doesn’t care how much we eat in a meal. Only our mothers care. But my mother…
I decided to eat a little more until my father left, then I put down my bowl and left.
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