Chapter 63
"I thought you might come here," Yang Ye chuckled softly. She walked up the stairs, placed the cup of hot coffee next to Zhou Yiheng, and then moved to the side, creating a perfect distance between them.
After all, he doesn't really want to sit with me right now.
"I know you are very afraid of me now." Yang Ye turned his head and looked at him. "After all, seeing a monster who has lived for more than a hundred years but still looks like a twenty-year-old, anyone would be shocked."
She moved the corners of her mouth and smiled.
I gazed down the alleyway I'd just come from. It was completely dark. The light from the street lamps filtered through the bare branches, casting a few fragmented patches of light on the ground. Occasionally, I could hear the thud of car tires rolling over the stone slabs at the intersection. The wind rustled the weeds at the base of the wall, and mixed with the sound of a radio, leaking from someone's window, the humming sound so faint it was hard to make out what it was playing.
She propped her chin up with her hand, tilted her head slightly, and took in the quiet of the night. It seemed only then that she felt the alleyway she was in now still resembled the one she had been in decades ago. The same blackness, the same silence, even the sound of the wind brushing against the wall was very similar to that time.
But back then, there weren't the bright streetlights we have today. Walking through the alleys at night required using a lantern. The light from the oil lamp was wrapped in a paper cover, and the bamboo frame was covered with two or three layers of paper. It was thin, but it could only illuminate the small area at your feet. It was nothing like today, with its rows of streetlights, making everything bright.
"My original name was Niuhulu Zhaoran," Yang Ye began. Her voice was calm, just like her eyes now, without any ripples. "I was born in the 27th year of the reign of Emperor Guangxu, which was 1901. My father was Prince Duolo Cheng, and my aunt was the legitimate wife of Prince Heshuo Gong, a member of the Guarjia clan. The year Emperor Xuantong abdicated, my father also lost his position. After the founding of the Republic of China, I followed the trend and changed my surname and given name."
Zhou Yiheng's pupils trembled. Even though he already had a rough idea of Yang Ye's identity, he was still startled when he heard her say it. His dry throat seemed to be blocked by the winter wind, and he couldn't make a sound. Only the heart was beating violently in his chest.
"You know, Beijing back then was completely different from now," Yang Ye said, looking at the alley in front of him. "People back then were divided into different classes. There were rules for speaking, doing things, walking, even how to use chopsticks and the direction to sleep. I was engaged to Aljiatai when I was fourteen. I think I told you about this. I didn't know anything at the time. I didn't know who Aljiatai was, or why I wanted to marry him. But back then, it was all about the parents' orders and the matchmaker's words. It wasn't up to you whether you knew or liked it. But later, some things happened, and Aljiatai and I were married off. I originally thought that this should be a happy thing for me. After all, I didn't have to marry a stranger inexplicably like my cousins. But I got it wrong. It's not your turn to think about what was right or wrong at that time."
Yang Ye pursed his lips and chuckled, "They say I have a bad fate. My fiancé died in a foreign land before I even got married. They say I'm the reincarnation of a star of misfortune, and whoever I come into contact with will be unlucky. Everyone has to avoid me when they see me. Even the old women who come to help in the mansion look at me with disgust."
"At first, when I heard these words, I was furious. I would run to my father and argue with him, my eyes red, saying that the truth was not as they said, and that these people were just gossiping and slandering innocent people. I even pulled my maid and the kitchen helper out to argue for me. But in the end, the rumors kept spreading. No one wants to listen to your explanations; they only care about what they want to hear. Later, I spent a lot of time at home, and I read a lot of books. One day, my eldest sister from Aunt Lin's family came to visit me. She told me about a story very similar to mine. In that case, a girl, unwilling to marry casually according to her family's arrangements, sneaked out alone at night. Perhaps it was bad luck for her, as she fell into the river not long after leaving the city. They said she was unfilial, that she wanted such a good marriage right across the street, and that she was unlucky and unworthy of such a blessing. But when I asked more questions, I learned that the girl was only thirteen, and the man she was engaged to was fifty-six."
"My eldest sister said that a woman's fate is not her own. No matter what you do, even if you have done the best you can, they will still use all kinds of words to find ways to belittle you. The truth of right and wrong for women is the same as that of the world. Some people don't care about the so-called truth from the bottom of their hearts. They are just tortured by life for a long time and want to find a place to vent their anger. Emotions need an outlet, and I just gave them this outlet. They pointed at me and cursed at me, and then put a frame of nonsense without a head, so that they would feel better in their hearts. Just like the rain in the sky that has been held back for a long time, it always finds a cloud to fall down happily, so that genius will be happy."
"The truth of this world is that there is no truth at all. Right and wrong are never revealed to others, but rather to one's own heart."
"Zhao Zhao, I heard my neighbor's sister say a few days ago that the world outside is great. She said that women can wear long skirts and dress beautifully. They can lie on the grass and read books. No one will say that they are not dressed properly, and no one will point fingers at them. They can also go to school and study foreign languages and arithmetic with the boys. If they study well, they can work in foreign companies. They can keep their own money and buy whatever they want without having to worry about other people's opinions."
"Zhao Zhao, when can we see a day like this?" Sister sighed beside her, her body slightly twisted when she relaxed, but when she heard footsteps outside the yard, she immediately sat up straight, put her hands on the stone table properly, and straightened her back.
Sister, life now is what you imagined it to be.
"Afterwards, I locked myself up at home for six years. I don't know how I got through those six years, but perhaps, those six years were also the quietest time for me. Apart from reading and going to the Buddhist temple, I hardly went anywhere else."
"Why?" Zhou Yiheng asked rarely, and he turned around to see Yang Ye.
"Because of the rules, unmarried girls are not allowed to go out on ordinary days. Besides, my reputation was not very good at that time. Instead of going out and being pointed at by others, I might as well stay at home and seek peace and comfort." Yang Ye smiled and spread out his palms, looking at them again and again in the dark sky. "On my 20th birthday, that was the first time I sneaked out of the house. I didn't go far, just walked around the city, just strolling around. Maybe you will think it's just going out, which is somewhat simple, but for me at that time, the decision to sneak out alone was something I had planned for many years."
"Later, I married Xue Shangyang," Yang Ye's voice was a little fluctuating. "He had studied abroad in the United States. His father was already in power at that time, and he was a young man of the new school. For a descendant of the fallen Eight Banners, it was almost impossible for me to marry him."
She lowered her head and smiled. "I had no idea about the day he came to propose marriage. It was only when my father asked the housekeeper to find me and tell me the reason that I found out. Since someone proposed to marry me, my father must be happy, but my father still held his old prince's airs and pretended to be a lecture to him. I thought Xue Shangyang would be angry, but after the marriage, he said that my father must have treated me very well. After all, at that time, my father must have been under a lot of pressure to say those words. Parents who love their children will have long-term plans for them. Although he is strong and old-fashioned and only abides by the old rules, for me, my father really wants the best for my future."
"What about your father?" Zhou Yiheng asked.
"Dead," Yang Ye said lightly, "The second year after I got married, my father committed suicide by taking poison."
"Why?" Zhou Yiheng was puzzled.
"My father didn't want to come to this new world. Everyone is equal and free, but for someone like my father, he was forced to become a servant to his once high and mighty master, and told that his current status is the same as that of the slave he used to despise and could beat or kill, and that he has the same rights. How could my father tolerate this? My father is a stubborn person who loves to dwell on trivial matters. He couldn't see that the world had changed, and he just thought it was the end of the world, so he took poison, which was his last act of loyalty and filial piety."
"In fact, I can guess what my father is thinking. He has enjoyed a rich life, and his ancestors were related to Huang Erye. How could he tolerate this so-called equality for all? But in the third year after my father bought the house, my mother Ye passed away, and later my two brothers and nephew died in the riots. By the 13th year of the Republic of China, Xue Shangyang was the only relative I had left." Yang Ye smiled bitterly. She looked ahead, her eyes aching, and she tried hard to control her emotions.
"What about Xue Shangyang?"
"His teacher was a member of the Beiyang government army, and his father had many ties to the government. There were many battles in the early years of the Republic of China, and he participated in all of them. Before I sent him on the train for the last time, he told me he was going to Tianjin, where a war was raging. At first, I didn't know how serious the war would be, because I would receive a letter from him every two months. Later, the address of the letter changed from Tianjin to Guangzhou, and then to Nanjing. The letters became less and less frequent, and my contact with him went from once every two months to once every six months, and then once a year."
"Then he..." Zhou Yiheng suddenly hesitated.
"I didn't see him in Shanghai for 37 years." Yang Ye took a deep breath and swallowed hard. "When he arrived in Shanghai, I had just fled to Hangzhou. If I had stayed in Shanghai for another month, I might have seen him again."
Zhou Yiheng saw her lower her head slightly, and suddenly understood, "That's why you chose to open a grocery store in Hangzhou."
Yang Ye didn't nod or shake her head. She simply raised her hand to straighten her skirt. Looking at the alley ahead, she was momentarily lost in thought. All those years she'd spent in the shop, it felt like she was guarding something, yet it also felt like she was guarding nothing.
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