Chapter 152: Stray Dogs Can’t Spit Out Ivory
After she said this, for a long time, she could only hear her own breathing, which even drowned out the sound of Miao Miao's walking.
She had never heard herself breathing so heavily and chaotically.
Zhu Yingning has a method of regulating her breathing that she developed on her own, which she discovered slowly while walking to and from school as a child. After realizing that walking was less tiring using this breathing method, she applied it to running, with remarkable results - even after running 800 meters, she was not as out of breath as other people.
Is it really her who is panting like this now? She is a little confused.
But even more blurry is the vision.
At first she thought that only Xu Sirui was crying, and his tears soaked his cheeks. It was not until she tasted the salty taste in her mouth that she suddenly realized that she was crying too.
When angry, out of a self-protective stress response, it seems that you can say anything to hurt the other person, as if the harder the other person is hurt, the more advantage you have. But when the anger dissipates, what remains is not the joy of victory, but a heavy sadness.
The grip on his collar gradually lost its strength. She was certain she had come over with the intention of punching him in the face, but now she had no strength left, not the energy to vent her anger, nor the energy to comfort him. Fatigue seeped through her bones, and she felt more exhausted than ever before.
Xu Sirui walked past her toward the entrance. He was changing his shoes, and she slid down onto a chair at the dining table, witnessing everything unfold. She silently watched him leave, unsure where he was going.
None of them spoke.
**
There was a thunderstorm around eight or nine in the evening. Wang Xiaoqian was afraid that the newly bought flowers on the balcony would wilt in the rain, so she was busy moving the flower pots in and out. Sun Guoqing was originally curled up on the sofa watching the news, but Wang Xiaoqian yelled at him, "You only watch your broken TV every day. You have no eyes for life. Come over and help me quickly." Only then did he put down the remote control and slowly walked to the balcony to help her move the flowers.
In his bedroom, Sun Mingyuan listened attentively to his parents' conversation while flipping through a comic book. He carefully spread out his homework book in front of him so that if he noticed something wrong, he could cover the comic book with the homework book to pretend that he was studying seriously.
Just as I was engrossed in watching, the doorbell rang.
He had completely entered a state of unity between man and book, completely forgetting himself and ignoring the doorbell. Suddenly, Wang Xiaoqian's almost broken voice exclaimed from outside: "Oh, what's going on? Why is it so wet?! Come in, come in! Sun Mingyuan - Sun Mingyuan!" The voice was so loud that it disturbed him and he could no longer continue reading.
"What's wrong? What's wrong?" He threw the comic book away impatiently, thought for a moment, then picked it up and stuffed it into the cabinet.
"Look who's here! Find the clean clothes in your closet! Hurry!"
She led Xu Sirui in. Sun Mingyuan turned his head and was almost scared to death by Xu Sirui's appearance - he was soaked all over, like a water ghost who had just been rescued from the shore. Water was dripping down with every step he took, and soon a string of crooked wet marks appeared on the floor of their house.
"Oh my god! Are you going to the front line to fight the flood? What's going on?"
"Hey, stop asking and find a set of clean clothes first." Wang Xiaoqian urged him.
Sun Mingyuan finally took action. He was shorter than Xu Sirui, and after searching the closet for a long time, he finally found a set of longer pajamas and threw them over. Wang Xiaoqian closed the bedroom door for them, saying, "Sirui, change your clothes first. Auntie will go outside to make some ginger soup to warm you up." She took the opportunity to wink at Sun Mingyuan through the crack of the door, indicating that he should comfort him first.
After the door was completely closed, Sun Mingyuan smiled and said, "What's wrong with you? You're running around outside on a rainy day instead of staying at home. Trying to imitate others and pretend to be artistic and take a stroll in the rain..."
Halfway through the conversation, he suddenly realized that it was not just rain that wet Xu Sirui's face.
Sun Mingyuan gasped in fear and accidentally choked on some saliva. He clutched his neck and coughed heartbreakingly for a long time before recovering. He dragged Xu Sirui, who was standing motionless by the door with his pajamas in his hand, to the lazy sofa in the corner of his bedroom. "Oh my god—what's going on? Don't scare me. Why are you crying? Is it about Xu Zhengkang? Or your mother?"
Xu Sirui shook his head weakly.
He leaned his head against the wall, not saying anything and not doing anything, just silently shedding tears, like a little cabbage that had been exposed to wind and rain without the love of its father or mother.
Sun Mingyuan talked for a long time, his throat dry, but he couldn't get any useful information out of him. During this time, Wang Xiaoqian brought in ginger soup and left. Sun Mingyuan simply picked up the bowl, gulped down a few big gulps, then pushed the bowl forward and asked, "Would you like some?"
Xu Sirui shook his head weakly again, unable to even make an expression of disgust.
"Okay." Sun Mingyuan drank the whole bowl of ginger soup without hesitation. After finishing it, he wiped his mouth and burped very long and loudly in front of him. The sound was like a fart.
Under normal circumstances, Xu Sirui would have exploded, cursed him out loud, and then quickly jumped up and ran as far away from him as possible to avoid being infected by his vulgarity. But now, he was completely oblivious to the scene before him, still crying wholeheartedly. His crying was so quiet, almost silent, except for the occasional sob, and only the tears flowed continuously, like the endless drizzle during the southern rainy season.
Sun Mingyuan then realized the thorny situation. He stood in front of Xu Sirui with his hands on his hips, and used his not-so-bright brain to think hard for a while. Finally, he waved his hand with great enthusiasm and said, "Well, let's not bother with those nonsense. I'll buy you a few bottles of beer. Since you don't want to talk, I'll drink a few glasses with you. Everything you want to say is in the wine. A drunken stupor can make you forget your worries!" But what he was thinking in his heart was, I don't believe that a few cans of beer won't pry open your stubborn mouth.
He knew Xu Sirui's alcohol tolerance, which was basically nothing, and it was easy for him to get drunk, so you could tell at a glance whether he was drunk or not.
After Wang Xiaoqian, Sun Guoqing and the others had gone to bed, Sun Mingyuan sneaked out and bought a few bottles of beer at the convenience store downstairs.
When the wine was brought up, Xu Sirui was not in the mood. He did not show the ordinary people's obsession with wine at this moment. Instead, he looked like he had no interest in anything. It was Sun Mingyuan who coaxed and deceived him into drinking.
After drinking two bottles of beer, he was no longer sober, his tears were flowing more and more, his knees were curled up, his hands were wrapped around his calves, his chin rested on his knees, he curled up into a small ball, looking pitiful.
Sun Mingyuan laughed heartlessly a few times: "Hey, Brother Xu, I don't mean to criticize you, but you really look like a stray dog. Who abandoned you?"
"...I wasn't abandoned by her." He finally spoke the first words of the night, his voice nasal, and he sniffed hard after he finished speaking.
Sun Mingyuan didn't know who the "ta" he was referring to, but he was quick to smell the scent of gossip. He approached him with a sly smile, and like the wolf grandmother coaxing Little Red Riding Hood, he coaxed him patiently: "You haven't been abandoned, so why did you come to me alone?"
Hearing this, Xu Sirui's eyes turned a little distant. He reached out and scratched the imitation cashmere carpet under the lazy sofa, hesitatingly saying, "We had a fight."
"Why are you arguing for no reason?" He had already guessed most of the situation. The only person who could make Xu Sirui cry like this was probably Zhu Yingning. However, it was hard for him to imagine them arguing. He had always thought that Zhu Yingning was a Bodhisattva who had descended to earth, and no one could possibly make her so angry that she would argue with others.
When talking about this topic, he curled his lips and tears began to flow down again.
"Wow, you're like a flood about to flood the Dragon King Temple." Sun Mingyuan took out a few tissues and handed them to him. "Tell me what you said during the quarrel and what she said. I'll help you analyze it."
Xu Sirui wiped her tears with a tissue and repeated the conversation to him. Her tears made the tissue wrinkled and limp.
Sun Mingyuan pretended to listen attentively, but in fact he was twisting his thigh hard the whole time to prevent himself from laughing out loud.
"Oh my god... what do you mean she threw herself into a rage and fought the class bully for that guy named Zhang Jiacheng?" He was trying so hard to hold back his laughter that his face twisted, his nails digging into the flesh through his pajamas. "Have you eaten away all your intelligence with your jealousy? Even if you don't believe there's nothing between her and that Zhang guy, at least use your toes to think about it. With her personality, is it possible for her to do something like fighting in public? Huh? Fighting with the class bully... Oh my god, Xu Sirui, you're really making me laugh to death."
He started to laugh as he spoke, stroking his chin as he thought, "And it shouldn't be like that... Why are you so unsure of yourself? If I had a face like yours, I'd definitely think every woman in the world loved me. If a woman looked at me twice on the street, I'd suspect she wanted my number. Why are you so hung up on that Zhang guy?"
Xu Sirui didn't laugh, nor did he get angry because Sun Mingyuan made fun of him. He looked genuinely troubled. He said that when he participated in a variety show in the mountains before, he also didn't fit in with the classmates in that class. Someone also made trouble for him at that time, and it was Zhu Yingning, the class monitor, who stood up to defend him.
It was because he had been protected by her before, and he knew how easy it was to develop dependence on and affection for her in that situation, and he also knew how easily she would worry about the vulnerable, so he suspected that Zhang Jiacheng, who was copying his path, might also take away her care.
"I know she treats me very well, but even if she tells me a hundred times that I am special, I can't believe it. I'm not special. Her kindness to me can be copied to other people. She can save me in this way, and she can save others in this way. I'm just an ordinary person among those she has helped. I can be close to her only because of the distance advantage. But what about the future? If we go to different schools and work in different cities, what is the difference between me and those people she helped?" As he said these words, tears flowed between his lips.
"Even if I try hard to convince myself that I am indeed special to her, it's useless. People change. Do you still remember who you liked in first grade?"
His eyes, washed clean by tears, were exceptionally pure. Staring at him with those eyes, Sun Mingyuan stuttered for once: "Uh, I..."
Well, he really didn't remember.
After trying hard to recall, he seemed particularly fond of their Chinese language intern teacher. She had straight black hair, a scent reminiscent of lavender laundry detergent, and spoke in a gentle voice. But after a long and agonizing effort, he couldn't recall her name. Was it Shen or Chen?
"Do you still remember your first career ideal?" he asked again.
"I really remember that!" Sun Mingyuan quickly raised his finger. "My first dream was to become a zebra crossing painter. I thought it was a cool and stress-relieving job."
"If you were asked to take this job now, would you still do it?"
"Uh... that's definitely not the case." Sun Mingyuan touched his nose and tried to defend himself, "I'm grown up now. When people grow up, they will definitely have different thoughts and pursuits."
"So, you see, you've changed." Xu Sirui smiled, his smile looking particularly pale under the light. "Everyone changes, you and me too. Nothing is eternal. You may like someone today, but as time goes by and your experience grows, your preferences will change, and you will no longer like this type of person. Even if you don't change and your preferences remain fixed, there is a chance that person will change. She will gradually become the type you don't like over time. It's so difficult to like someone one-sidedly, let alone fall in love. I don't even trust myself, how can I trust another person's sincerity?"
Sun Mingyuan had originally been joking, hoping to tease him about his jealousy once he sobered up. He knew that Xu Sirui, sober as he was, would never discuss such topics as liking and caring about someone. However, after a few rounds of conversation, the smile on his face faded.
He had thought Xu Sirui and Zhu Yingning's quarrel was just an ordinary one, like the one Wang Xiaoqian and Sun Guoqing would occasionally argue about the placement of slippers and the way they squeezed toothpaste. If he tried to mediate, they would accuse him of making a big deal out of nothing, saying that couples always quarrel, and that quarrels were just a sign of a good relationship.
However, after listening to Xu Sirui, he felt that the conflict between him and Zhu Yingning was not as simple as the placement of slippers and the method of squeezing toothpaste.
Xu Sirui thought very deeply.
It was so profound that it was beyond his ability to answer his questions.
Sun Mingyuan scratched his head, mobilizing all his brain cells, thinking for a long time, but he could only utter a sentence like constipation: "...Why do I remember you were not like this before?"
Yes, why wasn't he like this before? His brain was groggy from drinking, and Xu Sirui buried his head in his arms, thinking hard.
He thought, perhaps it was because Xu Zhengkang's incident had triggered and amplified the extremely sensitive part of his personality, or perhaps it was because he liked her. Because of his love for her, he became more sensitive, more fragile, and more greedy, so greedy that he felt he had completely changed. He clung to her like a spiritual driftwood, hoping that she would only carry him and him.
But how is this possible?
She is free and independent. No one except her parents is obligated to bear the burden of another person's life.
Some people may be destined to only keep a distance as friends. If they get too close, the more delusions they have, just like a flame approaching, which will not only sting themselves but also burn others.
The more he thought about it, the more suffocated he felt. He grabbed a few other cans of beer nearby, opened the pull rings, and poured the beer into his mouth. He felt that he was not drunk enough. He should be drunk enough to fall asleep directly. Then he would not feel so uncomfortable and would not have so many random thoughts.
Sun Mingyuan tried to stop him twice, then let him go.
It was already past midnight and he had classes tomorrow. He was afraid that if he didn't sleep, he would not be able to get up tomorrow morning. He rubbed his eyes and said to Xu Sirui, "I'm going to brush my teeth, you take it easy," and went to the bathroom.
When he came back from brushing his teeth, he found Xu Sirui was on the phone. He scratched his head in confusion: "Who are you calling in the middle of the night?"
"I'll call Zhu Yingning." He spoke a little slurred.
"Why did you call her? If you were going to call her, why not pick a more normal time?"
Xu Sirui suddenly burst into tears again, tears flowing freely as if they were free. She choked and said, "I want to ask her why she said that to me. She said that to me, and it really makes me sad... Why could she say that to me?"
Sun Mingyuan was both amused and helpless. He stepped forward and kicked him a few times. "Alright, you're just asking yourself why others say that to you. Hurry up and apologize! You're so drunk after just a few bottles of wine. You're disturbing people's sleep in the middle of the night. If I were Zhu Yingning, I wouldn't even pay any attention to you."
After being reminded by him, Xu Sirui woke up as if from a dream, dialed the number, and murmured "I'm sorry" into the phone.
After she finished speaking, she was silent for a long time, then looked up at him with a helpless look in her eyes: "She ignored me, she kept saying weird things, is she still angry with me?"
"What do you mean by talking nonsense?" Sun Mingyuan was confused. He squatted down and took his phone. Just as he was about to check the call page, he saw the number on it -
10086.
Sun Mingyuan: “?”
**
He couldn't remember how the night ended, but it was just a mess, and he couldn't make any successful calls. He was exhausted by Xu Sirui's torture, and finally he just casually threw himself on the bed and fell into a deep sleep.
The next morning, Sun Mingyuan was awakened by his alarm. He flicked it off with muscle memory and was about to go back to sleep when the events of the previous night flooded into his mind, sobering him up a bit. He opened his eyes, only to be blinded by the sunlight streaming in through the window. He blocked his gaze with his hand, squinting and glancing around the bedroom until he spotted Xu Sirui on the other side of the bed.
This guy was so drunk, yet he still knew to lie down on the bed. Sun Mingyuan silently complained in his heart.
Xu Sirui sat leaning against the headboard, looking like he'd been awake for a while, or perhaps he hadn't slept all night. The sunlight drew a sharp dividing line between them, his side fading into shadows. His eyebrows and eyes were like ink, and the sharp, clear lines of his profile now merged with the darkness, becoming blurred, like smoke and fog.
"Are you sober?" Sun Mingyuan complained incoherently, "You were like a madman last night, you know that? If you do this a few more times, I'll lose at least a few years of my life... Hey, let me tell you..."
As he spoke, his voice became increasingly quiet, and he no longer knew what he was saying. His eyelids grew heavy from sleepiness, and he couldn't help but fall into sleep again. The last thing he saw before his consciousness faded was Xu Sirui looking out the window and saying to him, "The rain has stopped outside."
The sound seemed to come from far away and was carried away by the rain.
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