Chapter 83: Clingy What she wants to hear is "You are obviously beautiful"
After the supplementary lessons, everyone went home one after another.
Guo Yingying's home happened to be in the same direction as Sun Mingyuan and Zou Hao, so the two boys left with her. Wu Bo's home was in the opposite direction, and since it had been getting dark earlier and earlier since the Autumnal Equinox, Zhu Yingning and Xu Sirui would always walk her to the subway station together, fearing it would be unsafe for her to walk alone at night.
Xu Sirui didn't join the girls' chat, walking alone in the back row. Wu Bo usually chatted with Zhu Yingning, but today she was unusually quiet. She lowered her head and stared at the sidewalk, occasionally kicking at fallen leaves, crushing them one by one. She seemed to be worried about something. Zhu Yingning tilted her head to look at her, then looked at her again, and couldn't help but ask, "What's wrong?"
Wu Bo finally woke up from his dream and habitually denied it, "Nothing." After a few seconds, he cleared his throat and whispered, "It's just... I have a small question for you."
"you say."
Her calmness gradually made Wu Bo want to talk, but he also felt increasingly embarrassed. He glanced at Xu Sirui from the corner of his eye, making sure he was far enough away from them that he couldn't hear them. Then he said hesitantly, "Well, that's right... I just want to know, when you're with Xu Sirui and the others... don't you feel inferior?"
She hadn't expected this question, but after thinking it over, it made sense. "I don't think it can be considered inferiority complex, but at first I did feel like I was in a different world..."
"Right, right, right, right! You really understand me." Wu Bo nodded frantically in agreement. "That's exactly how it feels!"
"But now I don't think that way anymore." She smiled. "As long as we get along with each other honestly, we will find that we are all the same. Whether it's you, me, or Xu Sirui and the others, we are all the same."
Zhu Yingning said the last sentence seriously, but this consolation sounded a bit empty and pretentious to Wu Bo's ears. She stopped nodding halfway, like a rusty machine with a spring, and the expression on her face dropped from excitement and joy of being understood to deep disappointment.
"How are they the same? They're completely different, okay?" Wu Bo sighed and complained in a low voice, "Just looking at their looks, there's a world of difference. Look at Guo Yingying. She just arrived today, and she came for Xu Sirui. Anyone with a discerning eye can see who she likes, but isn't Sun Mingyuan still so enthusiastic towards her? He keeps trying to please someone who doesn't like him. I feel embarrassed for him, but he doesn't care at all. Even our class monitor, who seems to be only interested in studying, just offered to take Guo Yingying home. It's good to be a beauty. Unlike ordinary girls like us..."
At the end of the conversation, she realized that she had blurted out and categorized Zhu Yingning as an ordinary girl. She was sobered up in shock. Afraid that she would mind, she hurriedly tried to make amends, "Hey, that's not what I meant. I was mainly talking about myself..."
"It's okay." Zhu Yingning said, "No one has ever praised me for being pretty."
Wu Bo felt the same way again, grabbing her arm and shaking it. "Really? Really?! I knew you could understand me. Ordinary girls like us have it the worst. I read a magazine a few days ago that said the average teenage girl has been confessed to by one man. Bullshit! Am I not a teenage girl? Why haven't I been confessed to by a man? Sigh... Someone as beautiful as Guo Yingying probably has a lot of suitors. Even if that average is true, it's inflated by beautiful women. It's like if my family's income was averaged with Jack Ma's, we'd still make the Forbes list. Reality? Haha."
After saying that, she couldn't help but ask curiously, "By the way, Yingning, how about you? Have you ever been confessed to by a boy?"
Back when she was studying in the mountains, the girls in her class would discuss these topics, but Zhu Yingning never joined in because she was too busy, either collecting and distributing homework, resolving various emergencies in the class, or simply studying. But now, with only Wu Bo by her side, they walked along the street, not needing to think about anything else, so Zhu Yingning had to passively participate in these conversations. She thought for a moment and said honestly, "No."
Wu Bo heaved a sigh of relief at this answer, feeling that having someone share her plight made her feel less miserable, yet also felt a bit regretful. While she was eager to drag a friend into the situation to comfort herself and prove that it was normal for her to never have a boy confession during adolescence, she also felt that Zhu Yingning was a good person, a very good person. Even someone as good as her hadn't been confessed to by the opposite sex, which showed that men were indeed superficial and visual animals. How infuriating, how hateful!
The more Wu Bo thought about it, the more indignant he felt. The more he thought about it, the more he felt that all men were not good people. He even started to dislike Xu Sirui behind him.
Xu Sirui was walking along just fine when he suddenly felt Wu Bo in front of him turn around and glare at him with resentment in his eyes, which made him confused. When he wanted to take a closer look, Wu Bo had already turned his head back, as if the hostile look just now was just his imagination.
Zhu Yingning pondered and tried to comfort Wu Bo: "Sun Mingyuan is rather flamboyant when it comes to pretty girls, but if Xu Sirui had bullied you or me today, he would definitely stand up for us. He actually has a bit of the spirit of Jia Baoyu."
Wu Bo said nothing, pouted, and crushed another dead leaf under his feet.
Zhu Yingning racked her brains for other words of comfort, but unfortunately, her experience in this area was limited. After thinking for a long time, she could only say: "The body is only a thing outside the body. You have many good qualities."
Wu Bo looked at her and sighed deeply.
She could tell Zhu Yingning was racking her brains to try to comfort her, but this wasn't the kind of comfort she was expecting. What she wanted to hear wasn't "You have other advantages," but "How are you ordinary? You're obviously beautiful."
**
As the second monthly exam approached, Xu Sirui's homeroom teacher came to Zhu Yingning's class and asked her if Xu Sirui planned to take the exam. "Please persuade him to come and take the exam. Regardless of how he does, at least don't skip the exam."
Zhu Yingning nodded in agreement and went home to tell him about it, omitting the part where the teacher asked her to persuade him and only asking, "Are you going?"
He responded quickly: "Whatever."
Zhu Yingning observed his expression and carefully analyzed his face. Seeing that his expression was awkward and contained a kind of deliberately fabricated indifference, she tentatively asked, "Then should I tell your teacher that you plan to go?"
Xu Sirui still answered: "Whatever."
**
On the day of the monthly exam, Zhu Yingning finished washing up and came out to see that Xu Sirui had also dressed neatly. He was leaning against the entrance waiting for her with his shriveled schoolbag, which was better than nothing. With his broad shoulders and long legs, he looked quite impressive.
On the way to school, she kept an eye on him, wondering whether his calmness at the moment was just an act or whether he really didn't care about the rumors in school.
She thought she had been observing him calmly all the way. When the subway was about to arrive at the station, Xu Sirui finally couldn't help but tsk, raised his eyebrows, and gave her a sideways glance, asking, "Have you seen enough? Are you secretly in love with me or are you just looking at me sideways?"
Zhu Yingning was startled when she was caught peeping, but she quickly calmed down and used the all-purpose answer to evade him: "How do you know I'm looking at you if you're not looking at me?"
"Because I have a brain." Xu Sirui pointed with his chin at the shiny car window opposite them.
“…”
Being able to talk badly indicates a healthy mental state. I wish Yingning to think optimistically.
When they arrived at school, perhaps because everyone was tense and nervous before the exam, no one paid much attention to Xu Sirui. Even if they saw him, they only looked at him for a second or two before hurriedly leaving. Zhu Yingning could clearly feel the slight tension in his waist and back gradually relax as Xu Sirui walked into the campus. His whole body went from being in a state of panic to a lazy and sleepy look.
When they reached the fork in the stairs, she worriedly said, "Since you're here, remember to finish your exam well..."
Xu Sirui hadn't expected her to actually use "since we're already here" in relation to an exam. What the hell was that? Since we were already here, why not take a test? He snorted, remaining noncommittal.
The morning's exams were packed, covering two subjects: Chinese and physics. Once she was in the exam room, Zhu Yingning didn't bother to worry about whether Xu Sirui was taking the test well. She simply gripped her pen and answered the questions earnestly. When the noon bell rang and the papers were collected, she let out a long sigh, leaning back in her chair and pounding her aching neck and shoulders.
Wu Bo ran to her, his hands and legs shaking with excitement, tears welling up in his eyes. "Oh my god, I actually finished this physics test! I actually finished it!"
Physics was Wu Bo's natural enemy; she hated the subject with a passion because—unfortunately—her father was a junior high school physics teacher. Since he was a physics savvy himself, he had unrealistic expectations for his daughter's physics. But Wu Bo wasn't even good at it. She used to struggle to finish her exams. Every time she came home, her father would nag her, with comments like, "How come you didn't inherit your father's excellent genes?" and "Your logical thinking skills are a mess."
"Don't worry about whether I did it right or not. Anyway, I've done it this time." Wu Bo lifted Zhu Yingning from the chair, his face ready to kowtow to her. "You are my second parents! Mom—"
"...Wu Bo, calm down." Zhu Yingning was at a loss whether to laugh or cry.
After a moment of lost emotion, Wu Bo remembered that he had other exams in the afternoon and quickly took Zhu Yingning's arm, saying, "Let's go eat first."
"Okay, where is Zou Hao?" Zou Hao would usually go to the cafeteria with them, so Zhu Yingning asked casually.
Wu Bo's nose turned up, his chin tilted diagonally across the classroom, and he said in a dissatisfied tone, "So?"
According to Wu Bo's theory, there are only two kinds of students in the world: those who resolutely refuse to check their answers after an exam, and those who can't wait to check every single thing. She was the former, and Zou Hao was naturally the latter. His utilitarianism in studying was fully demonstrated here. Although he had a better relationship with Zhu Yingning and relied entirely on her for tutoring, after the exam, he would always go to Tan Jingjing, who consistently ranked first in the grade, to check on the questions he was unsure of, and only then would he turn to Zhu Yingning's answers as supplementary support.
Wu Bo was quite disgusted by his behavior and would call him a traitor every time he saw it.
"Let's go first and ignore him." She whispered in Zhu Yingning's ear.
As the two were about to leave, Zou Hao, as if he had eyes on their backs, caught up with them. Ignoring Wu Bo's disdainful look, he asked Zhu Yingning, "Did you choose B or D on the multiple-choice question in Chinese? And what was the answer to the last big question in physics?"
Zhu Yingning didn't care at all about the traitor's behavior. After a moment of recollection, he said, "I chose a B in Chinese, and I calculated the final physics question to be 1.7 seconds."
The three of them walked out side by side. Zou Hao analyzed calmly, almost coldly, "You and Tan Jingjing both chose B for Chinese. I guess B is the only choice. Tan Jingjing calculated 2.4s for Physics, and I lean more towards her answer. Did you forget to add the ball's travel time when you calculated the last problem?"
"Ah, it's true." Zhu Yingning suddenly realized.
Wu Bo covered her ears with a bitter face, not wanting to listen to the two people saying things that would irritate her heart.
When they reached the end of the corridor near the stairs and were about to go down, Zhu Yingning looked up and saw someone waiting there.
"...Xu Sirui?" She looked at him in surprise.
He let out a pretentiously natural "oh," straightened up from the wall, as if he had just spotted them, and said nonchalantly, "You guys are going to dinner? What a coincidence." After an awkward pause, he added, "Since we happen to meet, let's go together."
Zhu Yingning, Zou Hao, and Wu Bo: "..."
This "coincidence" is too deliberate.
Zou Hao and Wu Bo weren't familiar enough with Xu Sirui to criticize him, so they could only watch him closely and pretend not to notice he was waiting there on purpose. Zhu Yingning, the only one familiar enough to criticize him, looked at his indifferent expression and the contrasting red ears. She didn't have the heart to expose him. After a few seconds of silence, she said, "Then... let's go."
Since four people walking side by side would block the entire staircase, they naturally split into two rows, with Zhu Yingning and Xu Sirui walking together.
As they walked onto the tree-lined avenue leading to the cafeteria, the wind blew through the gaps between them as they walked side by side. In this cool breeze, she recalled what Zhou Tianqing had said to her.
That day, Zhou Tianqing came to look for Xu Sirui but failed. Before leaving, she said to her, "Yingning, can I trouble you for something?"
She nodded dumbly.
"Ruirui is actually very clingy and afraid of loneliness. If he comes to you, don't reject him, okay?"
Although she agreed out of a sense of responsibility, she was thinking at the time, is Xu Sirui clingy? Moreover, how could he possibly cling to her?
In her impression, Xu Sirui - especially during the time when he was recording the variety show in the mountains - always kept to himself, did not take the initiative to interact with any classmates, and did not like to go out with her and Liu Guifang at her house. He could sit from dawn to dusk with a book in his hand, and often squatted alone on the big rock at the entrance of the village, reading or smoking, paradoxically playing his role as a loner.
Only now did she feel this subtle clinging feeling.
The wind was still blowing, shaking the dry trees and stirring up the dust on the ground.
She smiled gently and let the wind lift the hair around her ears.
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