Chapter 166 Love is like flowing water, so the world is vast
In high school, teachers told him that “everything will be easy once you get into college”. After actually going to college, Zhu Yingning realized that this sentence was like a carrot hanging in front of a donkey’s head, which was to motivate the donkey to keep grinding.
If you want to achieve success, college will not be easy.
Her college life was much busier than her high school life.
Join the Student Union and Volunteer Association in your freshman year.
In my sophomore year, I took a minor in sociology on top of my major in economics. I ran for office in the Student Union and the Volunteer Association. During my summer internship, I took time out to participate in the "Three Down to the Countryside" activities.
In my junior year, I applied for a major innovation project and organized a team of students from other majors to establish a project called "Research on the Construction of Regional Agricultural Product Branding Capacity and Digital Marketing Strategies under the Background of 'Internet+' - Taking the Practice of XX Farmers' Cooperative as an Example". Later, I used it to participate in the "Internet+" competition that had just started in those years and won an excellent award.
While preparing for the civil servant selection exam in my senior year, I also participated in another project called "Collaborative Operation Mechanism of Regional Public Brands and Corporate Own Brands."
Under such high pressure, she still worked diligently and maintained an extremely high GPA in the top three of her major.
Human energy is limited, divided between studies and work, leaving very little for love. Their most common rendezvous locations were the library and the student conference room. Zhu Yingning often felt guilty towards Zhang Jiacheng, wishing there were forty-eight hours in the day so she could break them up and give some to him.
Zhang Jiacheng always said it didn't matter.
At first, she worried he was forcing a smile, but then she realized he really didn't care. Because Zhang Mei had been busy with work since childhood, his independence far surpassed that of his peers. This independence wasn't limited to personal life; more importantly, his emotional needs were always kept within a reasonable range. A simple meeting, a simple "see you tomorrow," or even a hug could satisfy him.
He said that what he liked was her ever-spirited spirit of upward mobility. She had a calming power. Within the range of her magnetic field, he was like a subject blessed by the rain and dew. Even if he did nothing but watch quietly, he could inexplicably gain the motivation to grow upward.
"How can it be so exaggerated?" She laughed.
He also laughed: "So the world is vast, just go ahead and fly."
This sentence became her greatest support during her college years. Every time when she was so tired from working non-stop that she wanted to lie down and die, she would think of what he said, "Just go ahead and fly," and she would feel like she could still fly a few more times.
What is love?
She never stopped searching. She wondered if love might be more than the blazing sun, but also like flowing water. It was in the library, exhausted from studying, that she accidentally fell asleep on her desk. A few minutes later, she suddenly woke up to find him lying next to her, quietly watching her, his slightly upturned, split eyes like a swallow's tail.
It was a rainy day, and they had forgotten to bring umbrellas. Standing at the library gate, she pointed at the pouring rain and said, "Let's have a race to see who can get to the dormitory first." He agreed, but after she started running, he pulled her back and rushed to the boys' dormitory in the rain to borrow an umbrella. When he came back, he stuffed the umbrella into her hand, soaked to the skin, and still said, "I won," with a smile. She replied, "You actually jumped the gun! How despicable!"
After receiving the scholarship, the first thing I wanted to do was buy him the basketball shoes he had been wanting for a long time.
He likes meat with the flavor of green peppers but doesn't like green peppers themselves. When we went to the cafeteria to eat together and ordered a green pepper beef rice bowl, he could naturally pick out all the green peppers that he didn't like and give them to him.
It was only a week into summer vacation when he took Xiao Ran downstairs to sell her iced sour plum juice. She went downstairs to throw away the trash and was startled by the two siblings. She asked him what he was doing there. He said, "Xiao Ran's school assigned her a summer social practice task, and I took her with me to complete it." After pausing for a few seconds, he asked, "Would you like a glass of sour plum juice?" Xiao Ran made a face and ruthlessly exposed him, "My brother said he missed you a little."
When they were taking a walk in the evening, they saw a pot of jasmine flowers that had been discarded. She picked it up and said that it was so pitiful that the flowers had been thrown away before they even bloomed. He said, "Then let's take care of it together."
It cannot be said to be strong, everything is light. The light love flows through the years, bit by bit, shaping the muscles and bones that allow her to wield her fists and feet.
She even thought at one point that it would not be so bad if she continued talking like this until she became an old lady and he became an old grandfather.
But in the second semester of her junior year, their relationship began to deteriorate after she confessed to Zhang Jiacheng her plans to work directly at the grassroots level after graduating, helping people in impoverished areas. He asked her, startled, if she was kidding. His surprise surprised Zhu Yingning for a moment: "I've been volunteering and researching related topics. I thought you already knew my ambitions."
He was silent for a long time before he said softly, "I thought you were doing this to get into graduate school... and then get a good job."
That was his plan all along.
Studying hard to maintain his GPA, joining the student union as a cadre, volunteering to increase his volunteer points, participating in key state-supported projects, and capitalizing on favorable policies to rise to prominence... At first glance, his actions closely resemble hers, but his motivations are completely opposite. Yet, after two or three years of dating, they've never noticed this difference. He assumes she's one of his kind, and she assumes he shares her aspirations.
The first conflict of ideas did not change anything. Zhu Yingning believed that there would be a way out when the time came. Zhang Jiacheng felt that Zhu Yingning was only brainwashed by the mainstream ideology for a while. Once she realized that human hearts were treacherous, she would no longer have such naive fantasies.
Coming from a poor place, he knew that poverty often comes with a shallow understanding. Physical poverty isn't the worst thing to fear; it's the poverty of the heart that's most frightening. Born and raised there, having personally experienced the destitution of human nature, he never wanted to return. Everything he and his mother did was to escape the impoverished fishing village they once lived in.
He didn't understand why Zhu Yingning, who also came from a small town, wanted to return to her roots. The only explanation he could think of was that she was temporarily bewildered.
After this conversation, they still got along as before. The difference was that after he found out that Zhu Yingning's advisor really wanted her to continue her studies at the same university, he would mention her advisor's advice to her from time to time and agree with it.
Most of the time, she just listened and passed it over. But one day, after a competition, she was exhausted and, remembering they hadn't seen each other for several days, she brought him some of his favorite snacks and cheered herself up to see him. But when they met, he continued to ramble on about getting into graduate school. The pressure and exhaustion piled up to the point of exploding. Suddenly, she became annoyed and lost control of her emotions, and they started arguing on the spot.
That was their first real argument. Then, one argument led to another, and then another, and it became impossible to tell when it started. Their arguments became more and more frequent.
Zhang Jiacheng, meanwhile, had originally planned to continue his studies at his home university, but one day, a professor in his lab spoke with him and said he felt he was talented, had a respectable GPA, and had extensive research experience, and therefore could definitely apply to a foreign university. He offered him a lot of practical advice. After returning home, Zhang Jiacheng tried to bring up the matter with Zhang Mei, expressing his concern about the high cost of studying abroad. Lu Bin, however, said, "As long as you want to study, I fully support you."
It was these words that completely shook his determination.
His balance gradually leaned towards studying abroad, but the decision was stuck in his throat, and he couldn't bring it up in front of Zhu Yingning, especially on the first day of his senior year. She smiled and said to him, "I've come up with a way to have the best of both worlds. I'll take the entrance exam for a targeted selection student, work at the grassroots level for two years, and then transfer back to the provincial government or take the central selection exam and return to Beijing. What do you think?"
She sought a balance between her ideals and her feelings for him, and even though they had argued so many times, she never thought of giving up on him.
Zhang Jiacheng was speechless. Her bright, pure eyes reflected his cowardice and timidity. The words "I might study abroad" never made it past his teeth to reach her ears. He chose silence amidst the long struggle.
It was not until a few months later, after he took the GRE exam, that Zhu Yingning accidentally learned the truth from his mentor.
Thinking about it now, the real rift was created at that time. From that moment on, she gradually withdrew his importance in her heart. She had an ability to control her own emotions, perhaps out of a strong self-protection mechanism, or perhaps it was her nature.
But that doesn't matter anymore.
Zhang Jiacheng always felt that although he was the one who chose to leave first, he was not actually ready for separation. He still retained the fantasy of finally getting married with her after spending a few years in a foreign country. In this relationship, she has always been more proactive and decisive.
In the months leading up to their senior year, their relationship seemed to have returned to the state it had been in the early days of their relationship. The arguments were gone, the conflicts seemed to have vanished, and she treated him as well as ever. So well that even after they flew abroad, he was still confident in their future relationship.
Before leaving, he invited her and her roommate to have a meal together. Her roommate, Xiaomi, said to him, "Hey, did you know that you once made me lose 500 yuan? You have to make sure that these 500 yuan are worth something! Don't leave our Yingning behind when you go abroad. I heard that many people who go abroad to study will date one person abroad and another in China, and they are two-timing. Do you promise you won't?" He said he promised he wouldn't.
Everyone laughed jokingly, except Zhu Yingning himself.
It was not until he settled down in Toronto that she called him across the country and said on the phone in the same tone as when she decided to date him: "Zhang Jiacheng, I have something to tell you." Only then did he realize that it was really over between them.
"I went to High Park today." He forced a smile and changed the subject, saying that the maple trees in the park were already turning red. Locals said that by mid-October, the maple leaves would cover the entire High Park in crimson. "I'll take some pictures then, okay?"
He also talked about the sunflower farm that his classmates recommended to him, and Riverdale Park, which is said to be great for watching the sunset.
He spoke very quickly, not giving her time to interrupt, as if as long as he kept interrupting her he would not hear anything he didn't want to hear from her.
When he spoke, Zhu Yingning listened quietly until he ran out of topics to talk about. Then she took over and said to him, "I've always remembered what you said to me. The world is vast. Let's fly to our own futures."
He was in tears on the other end of the phone. He was silent for a long time, and then he said something that he himself couldn't understand: "If it was Xu Sirui, would you treat him like this?"
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