Chapter 7 (Part 2)
They'd both finished their desserts and only half their coffees. Kong Yu was still fuming over Gan Ling's refusal. "Marriage isn't just about having kids! You can also pursue sexual happiness!" "I'm happy alone, too." "I mean sex! Sex!" Gan Ling coughed. "You're crazy." "I just don't believe you don't have those needs." "I'll never do such a foolish thing again, pushing myself into a blind-box marriage just to satisfy my physical needs." "Well, it's okay not to get married. You can always find a boyfriend, right? It'll satisfy your desires." Gan Ling smiled. "Just be sexually happy. I'm completely focused on the bookstore right now, I can't think of anything else." "I don't believe it!" "Huh?" "Is it because of Cheng Zhao?" Gan Ling looked up at Kong Yu, who had a sly smile on his face. "Didn't I tell you he has a girlfriend?" "Then why aren't they married?" "How would I know about her?" Kong Yu pushed his coffee cup away, leaned closer to Gan Ling, and whispered, "That girlfriend was from before your divorce, right?" "So what?" "Have you met her?" Gan Ling shook her head. "That's the problem! You two are so close now, how could he not introduce his girlfriend to you? 80% of the time, they're already talking about breaking up." Gan Ling glared at her. "You're so boring! Can't you just say a little nicety?" "I just want you two to be happy! Why didn't he get married all these years? He came back to you as soon as you got divorced, running around for you, and you don't even notice?" Gan Ling was speechless. "What are you afraid of?" "I'm afraid of you." "Actually, at your age now, the elders can't control you. It all depends on what you think..." "I don't think much about it. If we missed each other, we missed each other. No, there's no such thing as missing each other. We were never together." "Oh, you're just being stubborn! Actually, I envy you for having a young confidant. Unlike my love, which is so pale." "Don't be so Versailles in front of me." Kong Yu leaned back on the sofa, stared at Gan Ling and began to sing Jay Chou's "Waiting for You After Class." I rented an apartment in the alley where you lived, hoping to bump into you. Why didn't I study hard enough during my three years of high school and not get into the same university as you? Gan Ling will always remember one Saturday morning in her senior year of high school. She woke up to find her father not only home but also browsing her phone chat history. She rushed over to grab the phone back. It was the first time she acted so fiercely in front of her father, her sleepy eyes filled with anger and fear. Father...
They had both finished their desserts and only half their coffees. Kong Yu was still upset about Gan Ling's rejection.
"Marriage isn't just about having children! You can also pursue sexual happiness!"
"I'm happy alone."
"I mean sex! Sex!"
Gan Ling coughed, "Nerve."
"I don't believe you don't have that need."
"I will never again do such a foolish thing as pushing myself into a blind box marriage just to satisfy my physiological needs."
"Well, it's okay if you don't get married. You can always find a boyfriend, right? It can satisfy your desires."
Gan Ling smiled, "Just be happy. All my energy is focused on the bookstore right now, so I can't take care of anything else."
"I don't believe it!"
"Um?"
"Is it because of Cheng Zhao?"
Gan Ling looked up at Kong Yu, who had a strange smile on his face.
"Didn't I tell you earlier that he has a girlfriend?"
"Then why don't you get married?"
"How should I know about other people's affairs?"
Kong Yu pushed the coffee cup away, leaned closer to Gan Ling, and whispered, "That girlfriend was before you got divorced, right?"
"So what?"
"Have you seen it?"
Gan Ling shook his head.
"That's the problem! You two are so close now, how could he not introduce his girlfriend to you? 80% of the time, he's already discussing breaking up."
Gan Ling glared at her, "You're so boring! Can't you just say something nice to others?"
"I just want you two to be well! Why didn't he get married all these years? He came back to you as soon as you got divorced, running around for you all the time, and you don't even notice it?"
Gan Ling was speechless.
"What are you afraid of?"
"I'm afraid of you."
"Actually, at your age now, your elders can't control you anymore. It all depends on what you think..."
"I don't think much about it. If I missed it, I missed it. No, there's no such thing as missing it. We have never been together."
"Oh, you're just being stubborn! Actually, I envy you for having a young confidant. Unlike my love, which is so pale."
"Don't act like a fool in front of me."
Kong Yu leaned back on the sofa, stared at Gan Ling and began to sing Jay Chou's "Waiting for You After Class".
The alley where you live
I rented an apartment
In order to meet you unexpectedly
Why did I
Why don't you study hard?
I didn't get into the same university as you.
…
Gan Ling will always remember one Saturday morning in her senior year of high school. When she woke up, she found that her father was not only at home, but was also looking through her mobile phone chat history. She rushed over to snatch the phone back. That was the first time she acted so fiercely in front of her father. Her sleepy eyes were filled with anger and fear.
The father didn't get angry. He looked at his daughter calmly and asked, "So, this is why your grades dropped?"
No, that's not the case. My grades dropped because of my poor ability. I just couldn't solve the problems. I was very depressed about this, but I didn't know who to talk to. Would it be any use?
As for Cheng Zhao, he wasn't the cause; he was comfort. Because of his presence, Gan Ling could find a glimmer of relief in her suffocating life. The world she had always clumsily existed in became less cold because of Cheng Zhao's company.
From the moment Cheng Zhao first sat with her on the bus, Gan Ling knew she had a magical power over him. This boy, considered a bad boy by his elders, this brave and aggressive thug, was gentle and docile in Gan Ling's presence, allowing her to regain a little bit of her confidence.
Besides confidence, there was something else that they both shared when they were together.
Cheng Zhao would remind Gan Ling of the time when her mother was still alive. Back then, the two of them would crouch over the dining table, drawing with a set of colored pencils while her mother worked in the kitchen. Sometimes, the sound of cheerful singing drifted from the kitchen, and sometimes, the tempting aroma of food would float out.
After her mother passed away, this scene was permanently fixed and engraved in Gan Ling's mind. It was so harmonious and tacit, as if it was meant to be this way. For this reason alone, Gan Ling could not give up Cheng Zhao.
My father continued, "What are you going to do? If you can't get into a good university, how are you going to find a good job? Are you going to sell cell phones in a store?"
Gan Ling recalled a chance encounter with a classmate from junior high school in a small jewelry store. She wore heavy makeup, had a sweet voice, and stood uninvited beside every customer, introducing the various products as they looked. Suddenly, a wave of fear washed over her. It wasn't a question of whether the job was menial or not; it was simply incapable of her doing that kind of work.
There was a hint of sadness in his father's eyes. "Xiao Ling, don't you have any friends at school? Why do you hang out with Cheng Zhao?"
The familiar feeling of humiliation surged into her throat, just like when she couldn't solve the math problem, when she stood up and answered incorrectly, when she stammered while introducing herself on the stage, when she fell on the cushion while vaulting... She was a coward, and she swallowed all the humiliation, and only she could feel the internal injuries caused.
Many years later, when she read Kafka's famous quote - Any difficulty can knock me down, who could understand the resonance and comfort she felt in her heart?
In order to avoid being hurt further, she chose to isolate herself and succumb to her father's will. She called Cheng Zhao and asked him not to come over, but her father quickly changed his mind, took her phone, told her to go wash up and have breakfast, and then walked out alone.
When his father came back, he was holding a box of milk rolls and handed it to Gan Ling silently. Without saying anything, Gan Ling knew who bought it.
"If he comes to you again, tell me."
Gan Ling nodded. After her father left, she opened the box and ate the milk rolls bite by bite. She had no appetite at all, but she didn't want to waste them; they were Cheng Zhao's gift. As she ate, her eyes grew misty, and tears fell on the box.
The ambiguous relationship between her and Cheng Zhao ended just like that.
Gan Ling was not very smart in her studies, but she was diligent enough. She worked hard in the second half of the semester and finally got admitted to a good normal university as her father wished. However, when it came to finding a job, she did not choose to be a teacher because she was really fed up with school.
Gan Ling always felt like a pretend adult, feigning adulthood and entering the workplace with a sophisticated air. But deep down, she was still that lost, helpless little girl. After a decade of twists and turns, she finally couldn't keep up the pretense. Like a speck of dust thrown out of the orbit of mainstream society, she returned to her starting point and opened a bookstore with little future. She tried not to dwell on the future, simply to enjoy the present moment.
Cheng Zhao, once looked down upon by his father, found a new way to succeed and built a respectable company. Although their roles were reversed, they still belonged to two different worlds.
At 5:10, Gan Ling rushed back to the bookstore, and Tian Miao was cleaning the store alone.
"Is Xiao Han off work?"
"Um."
"Is she feeling better?"
"Not much better. But she stayed on till five."
Gan Ling shook her head, confused about what this girl was so stubborn about. She went to the cashier and routinely checked the daily sales figures. Business was the same as usual, neither getting better nor worse. However, Gan Ling noticed that Tian Miao had paid for the longan and red date tea she made for Han Xi. This was the only cup of longan and red date tea sold all day, and it happened to be when Gan Ling was there. Although she hadn't said that employees could drink for free, she had never insisted on paying for it either. She paid little attention to this aspect, and even if the two of them wanted to secretly make something for her to drink, she was fine with it.
"Who paid for this cup of longan and red date tea?" she asked, looking up.
Tian Miao, who was arranging the tables and chairs, straightened up and asked, "Huh?"
"It's the one you made for Han Xi."
"Oh, I paid for it—what's the matter?"
"Nothing, I'm just asking."
Tian Miao clapped his hands. "Everything is packed up. Can I go now?"
"Yeah, okay, see you tomorrow!"
Tian Miao grabbed his backpack, pulled out a pair of headphones, fiddled with his phone for a while, and then swayed as he walked out of the store.
Gan Ling originally planned to find a reason to persuade him to leave after his probation period, but now she has changed her mind and might consider keeping him for a while.
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