In Bai Li's memory, the family has always consisted of only him and Old Master Bai, as well as portraits of the family heads of previous generations hanging on the walls of the old house.
This is a very aristocratic custom, but after Old Master Bai realized that he might only have one omega offspring, this custom was thrown out of the window, and it was not picked up until Bai Li was taken into the Bai family.
In addition to the aristocratic banquets and Old Master Bai's iron fist that accompanied Bai Li growing up, there were only the faces of those unfamiliar family members on the wall that never changed.
他見過白老爺子的伴侶的影像,用虛拟屏投映在老爺子卧室的牆壁上,是個長相溫和秀氣的omega，影像永遠都只會說一句話：“按時吃藥，按時吃飯,我愛你。”
白歷感覺這句話翻來覆去說得怪沒意思，況且白老爺子都已經習以為常，每天放着那段虛拟影像，自己該吃吃該喝喝，剔牙咂舌一個不落，還當着虛拟影像揍他，很不給去世的人面子。
Before Mr. Bai died, he was lying on the bed in the bedroom of the old house, his consciousness was hazy, and the image on the wall was still saying: "Take medicine on time, eat on time, I love you."
Mr. Bai was not conscious, but he still said vaguely: "Me too." The following words were not clear, and Bai Li put his ear close to hear it clearly.
"I love you."
The legend of the military stopped breathing on the bed. Bai Li walked over and turned off the virtual screen that he had never turned off since he could remember. He felt vaguely that he had lost two relatives at the same time in just a few minutes.
Bai Li felt that the "I love you" that the old man said before he passed away should still include him, but he didn't know if it included Bai Ying.
The warm light in the corridor made Mrs. Tang's face look soft and beautiful, and she looked similar to the one on the virtual screen in Mr. Bai's bedroom in his memory.
Mrs. Tang spoke, and her voice brought Bai Li back to reality from his absent-mindedness: "Li Li, have you been... have you been good lately?"
"Not bad," Bai Li still had the smile of Mr. Bai on his face, and his voice was neither cold nor hot, "What do you want? I'm busy. A night of spring is worth a thousand gold, Mrs. Tang. I'm in a hurry."
Mrs. Tang tasted the impropriety in these words, and a blush immediately dyed half of her face: "I, I don't have anything to do..."
"Okay." Bai Li wanted to leave.
Mrs. Tang was stunned for a moment, then quickly said, "I just wanted to tell you that I had something...something to do on the day of your wedding with Major General Lu, so I couldn't make it. I wanted to wish you all the best, and I asked someone to send a gift, but it was returned."
"Well," Bai Li said lightly, "you sent the latest type of immersion repair fluid."
"Yes, yes," Mrs. Tang said happily, "I heard that it is very useful, I have been worried about you...but why was it returned?"
Bai Li stopped and glanced at her: "Because I am allergic to most immersion types."
Mrs. Tang was stunned where she was, and after a few seconds she said softly, "I'm sorry, I didn't know..." "
It's okay," Bai Li smiled, "What can you know? You don't know anything."
He smiled casually, and the color on Mrs. Tang's face faded little by little.
"I'm sorry," Mrs. Tang's lips moved, her voice was very low, "I'm sorry, I won't do this again in the future."
One of her hands unconsciously tucked the corner of her skirt, lowered her head and didn't dare to look at Bai Li's face, but she didn't give in, and was unwilling to leave like this.
Bai Li thought he and Bai Ying were ridiculous. They stood here, making it seem as if there was really some deep family affection between them.
He remembered that when he just started elementary school, Bai Ying sneaked out of the Tang family, sprained her ankle halfway, and limped in the corner to watch him go home from school.
The driver was late, and Bai Li stood at the school gate waiting for a long time, so long that Bai Ying finally couldn't help but slip out from the corner and asked him why he didn't go home, asked him if he was tired of standing, asked him what grade and class he was in, what subjects he liked, and what job he wanted to do in the future.
Shiraisha thought Baili didn't recognize her, and blushed as she said that she was a teacher at school and was just asking about the situation. Finally, she asked Baili if his grandfather had been taking medicine and eating on time recently.
Baili couldn't remember how he answered, but she only remembered that he felt the same way as now, thinking that both he and Shiraisha were ridiculous.
The driver came, and Baili got on the suspended car, and only looked back after the car drove out for a distance. Shiraisha jogged a few steps, but her feet hurt, so she finally stopped. Shiraisha
has always been like this, she would stop when she felt pain, tears would fall, and she would be helpless with any problem.
He never knew whether Shiraisha in the original novel had secretly come to see the Shiraisha in the book, nor did he know what kind of feelings Shiraisha had for this old woman in the book. Shiraisha
always felt that his feelings for Shiraisha should be cold, after all, he had never wanted to have anything to do with this old woman who was just a background board in the original novel. But perhaps because he was not the original Shiraisha, his behavior was different, resulting in details that could not be covered in the plot, Shiraisha had secretly approached him at banquets several times.
At that time, Mr. Bai's health was not good. Bai Li, as the heir of the Bai family, attended banquets of the nobles and drank too much. When he went to the toilet, he was scared by Bai Ying who sneaked into the alpha bathroom and almost released on the spot.
Bai Ying was still the same. She asked him how he was doing recently and how Mr. Bai was.
Maybe because he drank too much and couldn't control his emotions, Bai Li suddenly got angry and cursed very badly. He told Bai Ying not to mention Mr. Bai again and not to play this sad drama again.
Bai Ying didn't cry that time. She hunched her shoulders when she was scolded and said sorry over and over again.
After that day, Bai Li found that he was angry with Bai Ying.
Angry, disappointed, unable to understand and a little bit sad.
Bai Li came to his senses and realized that he was distracted today. He pressed his forehead and said, "Okay, if you have nothing else, I'll leave first."
"Li Li," Mrs. Tang grabbed Bai Li's arm, "Don't be angry, I just want to ask if you are feeling better and if you are happy after getting married. When you were in the hospital back then, I wanted to see you, but I had something..."
"What's the matter with you?" Bai Li finally couldn't stand it anymore and turned to look at Bai Ying, "What's the matter with you that made you unable to go home when your old man died?!"
He turned around so fast that he pulled Bai Ying's hand forward, revealing a piece of white arm under the cuffs of his long-sleeved dress, and the purple bruises on it.
Bai Li's eyes fell on it, and the half-smile on his face froze. After a few seconds, his mask of "Mr. Bai" finally cracked, and anger filled his entire face.
Mrs. Tang withdrew her hand in panic, pulled her sleeve and took two steps back to run, but was grabbed by Bai Li and her sleeve was pulled open.
"He hit you again?" Bai Li looked at the arm with scrapes and bruises, and said softly, "He hit you again."
"It was an accident." Mrs. Tang said tremblingly, "Really, Lili, I'm fine."
Bai Li didn't say anything.
Mrs. Tang said again: "It's getting late, you should go to bed. Oh, and say hello to Major General Lu for me. You two are a perfect match. Live happily."
Bai Li's mind was full of noise.
Rage, hatred and powerlessness mixed together and filled his chest, attacking every nerve in his body. He couldn't understand Bai Ying. He felt that Bai Ying was like a pile of mud that could never be picked up.
Bai Li's lips moved: "You must..."
Mrs. Tang didn't hear clearly. This time she easily pulled her arm back from Bai Li's hand, but she was sensitive to the fluctuation of Bai Li's pheromones. Although her body was a little fragile, her mental strength was still excellent. She withstood the pressure. She felt that Bai Li was not in a good state, so she tentatively said: "Li Li, I'm really fine, don't worry, okay?"
The next second, Bai Li's extremely angry roar rang out: "You must hang yourself on this tree of Tang Xiao, right?!"
"What the fuck should I say to make you use your brains?" Bai Li's voice squeezed out of his chest uncontrollably. He pulled back Mrs. Tang's arm, but did not dare to look at the skin under the sleeve again. "I told you that guy is a fucking scum! I told you to leave him, I'll give you money, and you can go wherever you want. How many times have I said it! Ah? Bai Ying, do you still know that your name is Bai Ying? Do you still know that your father's last name is Bai?"
Mrs. Tang's eyes were filled with tears, and she bit her lip and refused to speak.
"Do you know where the old man died? Have you ever thought about how he felt without seeing you until his death?" Bai Li asked for the first time in so many years, "If you choose this path, you will stop pretending to be a mother in front of me, okay?"
Maybe it was the last sentence that broke Mrs. Tang's heart. She covered her face and finally raised her voice: "He said my father is fine and that the empire has new treatments. As long as I am obedient, I can go home to see him in a few days!"
Bai Li stood there, feeling like he was poured with cold water.
"I've thought about it. I'm going to apologize. Anything is fine as long as my father is alive and well. I haven't been ashamed to see my father for so many years. This time I will definitely not make him angry..." Mrs. Tang said, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
After a long time, Bai Li spoke, his voice was very hoarse: "Your legs are on your own body, can't you come back by yourself?"
The venting just now seemed to have drained Mrs. Tang's energy. She shook her head slowly and whispered: "Li Li, you don't know, you don't know how dependent an omega will be on an alpha after being repeatedly marked for life. Just smelling a little bit of residual pheromones is enough for me to surrender."
Surrender.
Bai Li closed his eyes.
If the lifelong mark is a stamp that the alpha puts on the omega, then repeated lifelong marking and injecting large amounts of pheromones into the omega's glands is a means of forcing the omega to become addicted.
Over time, the body's submission will gradually penetrate into the bone marrow and become the submission of the mind.
It's not that it can't be washed off, but the damage to the body will be greater, and there will be certain sequelae. Mrs. Tang is no longer young, and her body is relatively weak. The canary-like life these years has made her fragile. She is not sure if she can still bear the pain of washing off the mark.
She is the kind of person who will stop when she feels pain.
"It's not that bad," Mrs. Tang wiped away her tears, "really, he would apologize, coax me, and buy me a lot of gifts. He said he would always love me, and we still have a lot of feelings for each other."
Bai Li looked at her and felt that both he and Shiraisha were ridiculous.
He might have lived too long and really took himself seriously, and even thought he could pull Shiraisha out of the quagmire.
No one could pull Shiraisha out of the quagmire. She lived in a dream she had woven herself. Once she woke up, she would have to face unbearable facts.
Goldfish can't go to the sea.
"You said you didn't come to the wedding because you had something to do," Bai Li asked hoarsely, then his voice calmed down, "What was it?"
Mrs. Tang was silent for a while: "When I went to the hospital, I asked what to do about being repeatedly marked for life, and he was very angry."
He was very angry, so she couldn't go out and see people for several days.
Not to mention that it was Bai Li's wedding, a happy occasion, she felt happy just thinking about it.
Bai Li laughed coldly: "You call this 'emotion'."
Mrs. Tang lowered her eyes and said with a slightly nasal tone: "I thought it was."
So boring.
Bai Li thought, so boring.
"You go," Bai Li rubbed his forehead, "I'm not in a good condition today, maybe I drank too much."
Mrs. Tang wanted to ask about Bai Li's health, but when she saw Bai Li's frown, she held back and nodded gently, but did not leave, standing there hesitantly.
Bai Li asked: "Anything else?"
"That," Mrs. Tang's eyes were still a little red, but her emotions were under control, and she said a little awkwardly, "Do you know about the injuries that Major General Lu...his...body suffered?"
Bai Li put down his hand that was rubbing his forehead, half-closed his eyes and looked at her, trying to find some clues from her face. After a long while, he said, "He didn't hide it from me."
Mrs. Tang breathed a sigh of relief, clasped her hands together again, rubbed her thumbs, and said softly, "I was afraid you misunderstood. Since you know, I have nothing to say." After a pause, she looked at Bai Li's face, and spoke again after careful consideration, "Li Li, it's not his fault that Major General Lu was injured. Don't be unhappy. You two have to be well."
The corridor fell into silence, and Bai Li's brows relaxed slightly.
"Well," he replied, "I know."
Mrs. Tang nodded. She didn't know the true condition of Lu Zhao's body. She only said, "However, you still have to insist on treatment. You are the only one in the Bai family, and you still have to have an heir-"
"You don't understand," Bai Li looked at her and said lightly, "I don't need a family, I just need a home."
Mrs. Tang looked at him blankly.
"Two people can also be a home," Bai Li said, "I just want him to be free."
The lights in the corridor were warm. Mrs. Tang staggered as she walked. Her heels were very high and she almost sprained her ankle again.
After she left completely, Bai Li was still standing there. There was silence all around. He recalled Bai Ying's back when she left. Her hair was tied up high. Her swan-like neck should have been exposed, but it was covered tightly by the high-necked dress.
Bai Li thought, what did he actually know about Bai Ying? The necklace he gave to Bai Ying might not be able to be worn by Bai Ying at all.
He slowly squatted down in the warm light, feeling that he was being pressed down by something and couldn't breathe.
Someone came over and stood in front of him.
Bai Li raised his head and saw Lu Zhao's face.
Lu Zhao still had a calm expression, no extra emotions, only a pair of eyes, and when he looked at Bai Li, Bai Li's outline would be reflected.
Neither of them said anything. After a while, Bai Li smiled: "Was I a little loud just now?"
Lu Zhao looked at him: "Yeah."
Bai Li asked: "Did you hear it?"
Lu Zhao said: "Yeah."
Bai Li said "Fuck": "Did you hear everything?"
"Yeah," Lu Zhao said calmly, "I eavesdropped, sorry." It was mainly because he couldn't help it.
"Major General brother, you don't mean to apologize at all." Bai Li tilted his head and looked at him for a while, and finally lowered his head again, "Oh, it's a rotten account, damn, it's annoying."
From knowing Bai Li to now, this is the first time Lu Zhao has heard Bai Li say this.
Self-destruction, helpless and powerless. Not like Master Bai at all, Lu Zhao thought, but he still didn't dislike him.
Bai Li squatted on the ground with his head buried deeply. Lu Zhao called him, "Bai Li."
There was no response, and he was too lazy to move.
Lu Zhao stood for a while, then squatted down, very close to Bai Li. He raised his hand and rubbed Bai Li's head: "Go back to your room, Bai Li."
Bai Li nodded, but still didn't move. He knew he should stand up and go back to his room. What was the point of squatting in the corridor like this? But he just couldn't stand up.
He couldn't stand up.
"Xianhua, you don't know," Bai Li's voice sounded muffled, "She was raised too well by the old man's partner, too well-behaved, she did whatever the old man said, never contradicted, obedient and well-behaved, unlike me, she never took the initiative to ask for anything, lived in a world without wind and rain before getting married, she regarded everyone as a good person."
Lu Zhao's heart was very blocked, he didn't have much memory of his mother, and didn't know how Bai Li felt. But just seeing Bai Li like this, he was so blocked that he couldn't breathe.
"She was willful just once, just that once." Bai Li's voice revealed a hint of repressed unwillingness and anger, "I can't stand her, and I can't help her."
Lu Zhao stretched out his arms to hug Bai Li, and rubbed his hair with his lips. Lu Zhao said, "Yeah."
Bai Li smelled the faint scent of grass on him, he closed his eyes, and felt that he was particularly tired today.
The elevator rang and someone got on. It was not early anymore, and people left one after another and went to the rooms on each floor to rest.
"Go home first," Bai Li stood up with his knees propped up, and smiled at Lu Zhao, "Let's talk when we get back."
Lu Zhao pursed his lips, said nothing, stood up and went back to their room together.
Although the door had been opened just now, Lu Zhao did not go in. He could not control himself from the moment he heard Bai Li's answer, and stood at the corner to listen. The door was automatically locked at this moment, and he had to swipe it open again.
Lu Zhao took out his personal terminal.
"I just lost control," Bai Li's voice was still a little hoarse, "It's embarrassing, don't mind it."
Lu Zhao knew he was talking about the moment just now when Bai Li's pheromones were surging due to emotional fluctuations. Lu Zhao could feel it even across the corner. He shook his head: "It's okay, it's not serious, and Mrs. Tang was not affected."
The time was short, and Bai Li did not show any aggression. Lu Zhao hesitated for a moment, but still did not walk out of the corner to stop him.
After all, this was a matter between Bai Li and Bai Ying.
Bai Li lowered his eyes and watched Lu Zhao's fingers flexibly tap on the personal terminal, and the door opened. He said, "Her mental strength is very high, but her health is not good. After her partner died, the old man asked her to exercise after returning to the main planet, and she gradually recovered."
"Yeah." Lu Zhao didn't know how to answer, but he didn't want Bai Li to speak alone, so he could only utter monotonous syllables.
The two walked into the room. The room provided for couples to live together was very large, with a huge transparent wall, and they could fall asleep in the galaxy. There was no light in the room. The two stood at the door, silently looking at the universe outside the transparent wall.
The vast universe, the tiny troubles, but people always face these troubles.
In the darkness, Bai Li said: "I have thought about what it would be like if I had children."
Lu Zhao's body trembled slightly: "I..."
"If my child is an omega, how should I teach him?" Bai Li held his hand and said in a calm voice, "Grandpa gave Bai Ying protection and let her grow up without worries. She lived a happier and easier life than many Os who were arranged to marry and shouldered the family's social work since childhood. However, he failed to take her to see a wider world, meet more people, and learn to take responsibility for herself."
Lu Zhao was silent for a few seconds and whispered, "Most omegas are like this. When I was in school, I also took omega etiquette courses to prepare for marriage. Many Os can get married directly after graduation."
Bai Li was a little surprised when he heard him say this for the first time, and squeezed Lu Zhao's hand: "You finally chose to enter the military. You also know that this choice actually has to face many difficulties."
"My father died very early, and no one cared whether I got married or not." Lu Zhao said lightly, "I chose the difficulties myself."
Bai Li asked again: "If both of your parents were alive, and you grew up according to the traditional process of an omega, would you still make the same choice?"
No one said anything.
If Lu Zhao's parents were alive and his family was relatively wealthy, he would be arranged to take traditional omega courses from birth, accept his gender, obey his circumstances, and obey secular management.
Of course, maybe he would still maintain this stubbornness in his bones, and he would still choose this path, which is not impossible.
There are always a few people in the world who are born to break through the framework. But those who are within the framework are the majority after all.
"I heard that she used to be very interested in mecha research," Bai Li continued, "There were books on the subject in her room, but after she differentiated into an omega, her husband's partner put those things away. Omegas will be assigned to get married when they reach a certain age, and most of them will leave their jobs after marriage. It is more stable to be a wife and mother. She has always heard people say this, and later she also thought so."
Lu Zhao didn't know what to say, so he could only say "hmm" and shake Bai Li's hand soothingly.
Bai Li talked a lot today, and mentioned his own opinions and memories more than usual. Lu Zhao wanted to hear Bai Li say these things before, but not today, and not in this occasion.
He remembered what Mrs. Tang said before she left, "You still have to have an heir."
Bai Li looked at the sea of stars and said, "When I first started to participate in the development of mechas, Situ proposed two plans. One was a development plan only for alphas with physical defects, and the other was the current plan to enhance the mental connection and reduce the mecha's overall physical connection requirements. The first plan has a precedent, but it is not perfect. The second plan needs to be explored from scratch, and it is uncertain whether it will succeed."
At that time, the research institute had just started, and everything was still a chaotic dilemma.
Lu Zhao turned his head to look at Bai Li. He had never heard Bai Li mention mecha development in this way.
"When I saw the second plan, I was thinking, if there really is a day when everyone can have more choices, whether it is omega, beta, or even alpha," Bai Li said softly, recalling the decision he made that day, "if everyone can have more choices, if children can live in a world where they can make their own choices, take responsibility for their choices, and not regret them because of the outside world, can we live more freely?"
Lu Zhao's heart heard a "click" sound.
A drop of water fell into the heart, but it brought huge ripples.
Bai Li once made a choice, he chose the second plan.
At that time, their research institute was still called the "Reemployment Base for the Disabled and Unemployed".
He still chose the second plan.
Lu Zhao didn't know if Bai Li had any regrets or hesitations during these years. He couldn't even understand how Bai Li endured the pain in his left leg when he walked down from the simulation warehouse where the experiments failed again and again.
"I hope she will have more choices when she picks up the book on mecha research. I also hope that the boy from the Zhou family and Si Dong will not be influenced by others in their choices. I really, really look forward to the day when everyone can have more choices." Bai Li's voice was so low and deep that it changed its tone. "Lu Zhao, I hope you have more choices."
He held Lu Zhao's hand tightly, but still couldn't calm the slight tremor.
"Go anywhere you want to go, do anything you want to do. I choose you, so I respect any choice you make and I won't regret it." Bai Li said, "Even if I may not be in your choice."
Human beings embark on different paths with choices again and again, and the world is woven by these paths.
Sometimes Lu Zhao felt that the choices in front of him were really too few, but the optical computer popped up Bai Li's name when matching, and he clicked to accept.
At that time he only had this one choice, thank God.
Thank God so fucking much.
Lu Zhao kissed Bai Li, he couldn't say anything else, he could only kiss hard and fiercely.
Bai Li's response was equally frantic, the darkness obscured the vision of the two, they stumbled and fell on the bed, Bai Li cushioned underneath, pulling Lu Zhao's collar to press down his head.
While breathing rapidly, Lu Zhao touched Bai Li's left leg with one hand, and he said in a hoarse voice: "You are really sick, you are like this..." Who cares if others have a choice or not.
Bai Li wanted to answer, but Lu Zhao did not give him a chance and kissed him again.
Lu Zhao felt that he was kissing a ball of light.
This ball of light was broken, sensitive and fragile, but still bright.
It would still fall on him in the dark.
There may be many choices in this world, but Bai Li will not have a second one.
Silent kiss, exchange of pheromones, and swelling feelings in this room where you can see the stars in the universe.
It was as if a fire ignited each other, burning people dizzy and blanking their minds. Lu Zhao felt that Bai Li's breath brought the smell of chocolate, making him fall into the light. Bai Li whispered in his ear: "Hmph."
The hot air hit his ear, bringing an inexplicable heart-beating temperature. Just like the soothing voice he gave before marking him in the locker room of the training ground that day.
Lu Zhao couldn't see Bai Li's expression, he could only feel his hand reaching out to him.
They touched each other in the darkness and the universe.
Unable to think, exiling his thoughts to rise and fall between breaths, sharing each other's body temperature and breath in the vast galaxy.