Chapter 1: Died from being hit by a watermelon rind
Ninety-ninth.
Baiyujing, Tianxuan Sect, on Haomiao Peak.
Su Yunyu, holding the Xuehua Sword, hid behind the Shentu Tree, waiting for an opportunity to strike.
A young man was practicing swordsmanship, displaying extraordinary talent. His thin, tightly pursed lips revealed a deep and serious expression, and although he was still young, his face was handsome and fierce.
As expected of Long Aotian, he truly has the protagonist's aura.
Su Yunyu, who was behind the tree, stared for a few seconds, then became extremely annoyed.
This time, he was determined to avenge himself and kill this guy.
"They say things shouldn't happen more than three times, but this is thirty-three times three, so I should succeed by now."
Su Yunyu encouraged herself, tightened her grip on the long sword, and finally made up her mind to rush out from behind the tree.
Dressed in a snow-white robe, he twirled lightly on his toes, his black hair billowing, and swayed in front of the young man, Xiao Shuying, raising his long sword with the blade pointing straight at his heart.
Meeting Xiao Shuying's indifferent gaze, Su Yunyu felt a hint of doubt, but she didn't have time to think about it deeply, only knowing that she should finish the battle quickly.
With his cultivation already halfway to sainthood, killing Long Aotian would be a piece of cake.
Su Yunyu, assuming it was a ruse, swung her longsword, about to thrust it down. Just as her toes left the ground and were about to touch it back down, her foot suddenly slipped—
As she felt weightlessness, Su Yunyu fell to the ground and was stabbed to death by her own ancient divine sword. Before she fell, she saw that she had just stepped on a piece of watermelon rind.
A sharp pain spread from his heart; before losing consciousness, he cursed the heavens:
"Is it reasonable for a Celestial Venerable like me to be killed by a watermelon rind?"
After his failure, ripples began to spread across Vast Peak. Xiao Shuying ignored the vanished Su Yunyu, only glancing at the sky, her eyes darkening, and silently counting:
"The ninety-ninth century."
When he regained consciousness, Su Yunyu returned to the initial center. He squatted on the ground in near despair, tears welling up in his eyes.
"System, I really can't kill Long Aotian, so don't bother me."
The system named 111 softly refuses:
[No, you can only go back by killing Long Aotian.]
Su Yunyu threw a tantrum, showing absolutely no trace of her celestial demeanor.
"Why, why me of all people?"
Speaking of this, he gets angry. He was just an editor in the 21st century. He signed an author called Braised Rabbit with Scallions. This author had excellent inspiration and wrote a book called "The Three Realms Bow Down to Me".
Unfortunately, the character design is somewhat lacking. Su Yunyu helped to develop the character of Xiao Shuying, the main character in the book, many times, and then she stopped working on it.
As a result, the book became a huge hit, but for some unknown reason, the author suddenly resurrected the main villain, Xiao Shuying's master, Fengchi Immortal Venerable Su Yunyu, in the finale and attempted to whitewash him.
Readers flooded the comments section with over 999 criticisms, while the author continued to argue that Su Yunyu was the most beautiful woman in the world, and also the most powerful in terms of cultivation, so what was wrong with giving her the role of Long Aotian? This led to a fierce battle between the author and the readers.
When the controversy reached the top of the trending searches, Su Yunyu, an editor, finally learned the whole story. Just as she was about to ask, she was dragged into this world.
111, a bouncing spirit: [Because the author harbors too much resentment, you must be killed before you can leave.]
"Why don't you say the readers are too resentful? Besides, why isn't the author dressed up?"
[Uh, because you were more involved in identifying Xiao Shuying's character, honey.]
"Get out!" Su Yunyu was furious. "When I get back, I'll cut up this idiot author's book."
[Since you've readily agreed, let's continue.]
Before Su Yunyu could speak, the space shifted and the light spots changed. When it returned to normal, they were already in Fengling Ferry, Nanlin Prefecture, one of the fourteen prefectures of the human realm.
[Given the previous ninety-nine failures, this system has decided to advance the timeline. Oh, and by the way, host, your cultivation level in this world is getting lower and lower, so please don't slack off.]
Su Yunyu was speechless: "...I'm not ready yet."
[It's alright, I've put the magic item in your space, you can take a look.]
The magic weapon Su Yunyu's originally worried face suddenly broke into a smile. Her consciousness returned to the space, where she saw a stack of books.
Pick up any book at random, and the title reads:
"My Domineering Disciple Falls in Love with Me".
Startled, Su Yunyu's hand trembled, and she picked up another book to read:
"The Cold and Aloof Immortal and His Cunning Disciple"
After picking up several books and finding them all inappropriate, Su Yunyu snapped, "What do you mean? Are you asking me to seduce someone? Wait a minute—"
Seduction... Since murder is out of the question, we can use Long Aotian's Zisha!
You should know that in his ninety-nine lifetimes, the first thirty times he fed Long Aotian various poisons, which resulted in the poison transferring to him and killing him.
The thirty times in the middle were attempts to kill Long Aotian in the secret realm, but he himself was struck dead by heavenly lightning.
The last thirty times were when he tried to create unexpected results, resulting in overwhelming pressure from the sky. The last nine times were when he stopped pretending and took matters into his own hands.
The result was a collection of all sorts of ways to die, so Su Yunyu accepted the master-disciple stories with a good attitude.
I'll use seduction if I have to; I'll risk it all to get home!
Su Yunyu's eyes lit up with joy, and she withdrew her accusation:
"This time, I will definitely avenge myself!"
In the original story, Xiao Shuying is a spirit of the Three Realms. After being reborn in the Xuanling Sea, she was carried by a Qingluan and fell to the human world.
She happened to fall into the body of a concubine in the prestigious Xiao family of Fenglingdu. However, Xiao Shuying's birth was so tragic that the concubine died, and she was born at the same time as the eldest son.
At that time, two strange phenomena appeared in the sky. The fortune teller said that the auspicious sign was brought by the eldest son, while Xiao Shuying would only bring disaster.
From that day on, Xiao Shuying was bullied and neglected. When he learned that the Immortal Realm would be selecting disciples, he desperately wanted to cultivate so that he could be selected. However, he was framed for having ties with the Demon Realm, which severed his meridians and cut off his path of cultivation.
At this point, the main villain Su Yunyu appears. He calculates that there is a person destined for the Xiao family, but he can't guess who it is. So he simply takes in Xiao Shuying and the eldest son Xiao Qingran.
From then on, Xiao Shuying embarked on another journey through hell, enduring various hardships and trials. In the finale, she finally avenged her enemies and achieved the Great Dao.
Having finished reading the original novel's plot, Su Yunyu wiped the cold sweat from her forehead and comforted herself:
It's okay, there's still a chance to salvage the situation.
So he asked the system, "What time period is it now?"
[Now that Xiao Shuying's meridians have been destroyed, it's your turn to appear.]
Su Yunyu glared at her coldly: "Why can't I do it before my meridians are destroyed?"
[Important plot points cannot be changed.]
Well, this is simpler than before. In the previous 99 lifetimes, it started on the second day after Xiao Shuying joined the sect and ended on the seventh day.
"Let me think about how to make my entrance..."
Meanwhile, the Xiao family.
A commotion erupted in the backyard. Several boys huddled together, punching and kicking something while cursing it.
"You illegitimate son dare to steal? I think you've really rebelled!"
"That's right, that's right! How dare you lay a finger on Young Master Qingran's things!"
The boy who was being beaten by them had just slowly opened his eyes when he felt a dull pain all over his body. He looked up, unaware that the darkness in his eyes frightened the people.
That gaze was too cold, too sinister, too condescending to all living beings, as if under such a gaze, they were nothing more than ants.
The leader was somewhat intimidated, but then he thought that Xiao Shuying was nothing but a good-for-nothing, and suddenly felt emboldened.
"What are you looking at? Look again and I'll gouge your eyes out!"
This is how Xiao Shuying traced the origins of his chaotic memories: he had returned to the Xiao family, the beginning of all the shame.
He was bullied and beaten, falsely accused of colluding with the demon realm, and even had his meridians destroyed, turning him into a cripple.
A dull ache throbbed throughout his body, and Xiao Shuying's eyes flashed with malice. In his previous life, he had already ascended to the supreme realm, so how could he possibly be bullied again? Just as he was about to circulate his spiritual energy, his entire body felt as if it were being cut by knives.
The spiritual energy is gone... It seems everything has truly returned to zero.
With his meridians severed and his lower abdomen in excruciating pain, how could he possibly have the strength to fight back?
It's alright, just be patient a little longer. It won't be long before you return to being the ruler of the Three Realms.
It's just that the process was a bit arduous.
Xiao Shuying closed her eyes, about to let things take their course, when a clear, cold voice came from above, like snow falling into a cold pool, light and ethereal:
"stop--"
It was so familiar that Xiao Shuying immediately clenched her hands and looked up at the person fiercely.
However, Xiao Shuying paused when the man in white landed.
This person, this face, feels both familiar and unfamiliar.
Phoenix Pool Immortal Venerable is not only the most beautiful woman in the world, but also the most powerful cultivator. Her Snow Blossom Sword once shone brightly across fourteen continents, and her name was revered throughout the Three Realms.
This person's face is very deceptive. Xiao Shuying learned this the first time in his life. When he was taken into the immortal sect, he mistakenly thought that his luck had turned around, but in the end, he suffered even more.
This person coldly watched him being humiliated, threw him into a secret realm to suffer slaughter, and finally locked him in a dungeon to have his blood extracted every day.
But after that one life, he was reborn ninety-nine times. In these ninety-nine lifetimes, his appearance was completely different from that of the first life.
The person before me resembled him by seven-tenths, but was even more aloof and cold. He had snow-white skin, black hair, upturned eyes, dark eyelashes, and a cold light flickering in his eyes.
A red mole at the corner of her eye, coupled with her peach-colored thin lips, adds a touch of allure to her cool demeanor.
What a beauty, the most beautiful woman in the world! What a celestial being!
If she hadn't been hunted down for ninety-nine lifetimes, Xiao Shuying would have been deceived again.
Strangely, during those ninety-nine instances, although Su Yunyu wanted to kill him, there was no murderous intent in her eyes, as if she were carrying out some kind of mission.
Putting aside those questions, Xiao Shuying concealed the deep look in her eyes and pretended to be clueless as she watched his next move.
Su Yunyu, seemingly oblivious to anything amiss, simply addressed the stunned young men in a cold voice:
"What I just saw has been taken in by my own eyes. Your framing and bullying of the weak is truly contrary to the righteous path."
As she spoke, she walked up to Xiao Shuying, took his hand, which was covered in bruises, and with a slight spell, made all the injuries disappear.
"Are you alright?"
Hearing his slightly softer tone, Xiao Shuying lowered her eyes and nodded with feigned embarrassment, but inwardly she was quite bewildered.
What's going on this time? Weren't we supposed to kill him? Why all this charade?
He's so hypocritical, even more hypocritical than these people. When his cultivation is restored, Xiao Shuying thinks she must kill him again.
Those who had been criticized immediately blushed with embarrassment and wanted to disappear. The family head, having heard the commotion, arrived at that moment. Upon seeing Su Yunyu, he was momentarily stunned, then quickly bowed.
"Greetings, Immortal Venerable."
Su Yunyu didn't want to say much, fearing that saying too much would cause her to be out of character and get an electric shock, so she kept her words to herself.
"Need not."
He then took Xiao Shuying's hand again and said to the head of the family:
"This child is quite talented, and I wish to take him under my wing."
Before the words were finished, it was clear that they were waiting for the patriarch to speak. The patriarch was stunned, and so was his eldest son, Xiao Qingran, who was standing beside him.
Xiao Shuying was even more surprised; shouldn't they have taken Xiao Qingran in as well, based on the current situation?
Her gaze secretly fell on Xiao Qingran, and seeing his shock that he couldn't contain, and the worship beneath that shock, she felt a wave of nausea.
He knew from his first life that Xiao Qingran liked Su Yunyu, and it's the same in this life.
I'll kill those two scoundrels sooner or later.
“Since the Immortal Venerable wishes to take him in, I naturally have no objection. However, the child beside me is also quite talented. Perhaps the Immortal Venerable could…” The patriarch glared angrily at his adopted son and then recommended Xiao Qingran to him.
Su Yunyu simply flicked her sleeve and said, "There's a grand selection of immortals tomorrow. Let him participate. I'll take the child with me."
Just as he was about to take Xiao Shuying back, Xiao Qingran, furious, stopped him.
"Wait, although the Immortal Venerable wants to take it, he still has to ask my brother's consent."
As she spoke, she gave Xiao Shuying a meaningful look, signaling him to think it over carefully.
Su Yunyu bent down, looked at Xiao Shuying, and asked solemnly:
"Are you willing to go back with me?"
Under the moonlight, his face seemed to be bathed in a layer of snowy light, his eyes shimmering with a cold mist, a person as pure white as an epiphyllum flower.
For some inexplicable reason, Xiao Shuying recalled the half-line of poetry that circulated throughout the Three Realms:
In my dream, on a clear night, snow dampened my clothes, and the fleeting shadow of a sword startled the lotus blossoms.
Unfortunately, even the best-looking exterior can be rotten inside.
Faced with Su Yunyu's question, Xiao Shuying deliberately remained silent for a long time, wanting to see if Su Yunyu would lose her composure and kidnap him.
The air grew quiet, and several needle-like gazes stared at Xiao Shuying, but he remained unmoved, his head bowed as if he were truly considering something.
Su Yunyu, unsuspecting, assumed it was because Xiao Shuying lacked a sense of security. He was about to pat her head, but fearing he would be electrocuted for being out of character, he could only hold Xiao Shuying's small hand and stroke it.
"..."
The cold, jade-like touch in my palm was unlike the gentle blows I had received.
Xiao Shuying paused, then smiled, mocking Su Yunyu for taking her acting skills to a whole new level.
But this makes it seem even more interesting.
So he raised his still-youthful face and timidly called out to Su Yunyu:
"Master."
What do you really want to do in this life?
A note from the author:
----------------------
Here's a new story! It's a silly, comedic piece. If you like it, please add it to your favorites! [cheering emoji]
My upcoming story: "The Beautiful Strategist Forced to Assist Her Nemesis's Wife"
A domineering hero (top) x a strategist (bottom), a tale of love amidst hatred / a warrior driven by pure hatred / entering the game with one's own body
And "Green Tea Girls in America May Be Manipulating Their Bosses"
This infinite flow contains the following elements:
My husband, whom I killed, has returned; where did the monsters I created go?; the evil god I summoned is obsessed with me; and there are non-human creatures and gore movies.
Please add this to your favorites!
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